My name is Dazai

[-]—"Pu-jun, why are you here again?" Tangun, who was half-sitting on the bed, put down his textbook and looked at the black-haired boy who came in from the door.

Teak Pu had various scars on his body, he took out the disinfectant alcohol and bandages from the cabinet next to him familiarly, and then sat on Tangun's bed.

"Teacher Tulong said that he has something to do, and asked you to watch me change the bandage." Yu Mupu threw the medical kit on the bed.

"Have you fought with someone? Pu-sun always loses." Tangun looked at the traces of being tied up on Yumu Pu's hand, pretending not to notice the problem behind it, "When will we win?"

"Probably never." Yukipo turned his head and looked at Tangun with a playful smile, the wounds on his body were left by his connivance.

Tangun didn't continue to ask.

He doesn't have much curiosity, it's not that he deliberately keeps a distance from others, but that he won't break the social distance of others before getting permission, which makes people feel uncomfortable?feel uneasy.

"But senior always wants me to fight with people." Yukipo looked at Tangun who was sitting on the bed, looking calm and gentle, "It doesn't match your appearance at all."

Tangun looked at the box at hand, took out alcohol and antiseptic cotton from it, and rubbed the wound on Yukipo with a somewhat rough action.

"Couldn't Senpai be gentler?" Yukipo couldn't say how much he was afraid of the pain, but Tangun seemed completely unaware that he was treating the wound himself.

"I thought you weren't afraid of pain." Tangun glanced at him.

"Senior hasn't answered my question yet." Teak Pu asked.

Tangun's white eyelashes drooped down, and the action of disinfecting Yuzupo's wound stopped.

The air fell into silence.

In fact, Yumupu was not a talkative character, Tangun was silent, so he also fell silent.

"I want to try to fight with people." After a long silence, Tangun spoke.

"Huh?" Yuu Pu became surprised.

"It doesn't look like it." Tangun smiled very warmly, "But I don't fight with people because I have a good temper, but because my body doesn't allow it."

The heart disease he had since he was a child prevented him from fighting, not even quarreling.

Of course, Tangun felt that he didn't like arguing with others, why would he use his mouth when he could do something?

Teak Pu: "..." Everyone knows?You have heart disease, who dares to argue with you?

"I want to go to school well, I want to go out to play, I want to do something adventurous..." Tangun Joong?Make a new move and apply medicine to Yumupu.

His words were very calm, but this excessive calm made his words sound like he was pretending not to care.

"Of course, these things can't be forced because of poor health." Tangun helped Yumupu wrap the bandage.

Some things can only be done secretly.

For example, secretly climbing up the school's cherry blossom tree.

Although Tangun found the ladder, but in other people's eyes, it's frightening for him to do this with a heart problem, right?

And not disappointing that others will be terrified when they see it, he really fell from the tree.

If no one caught him, it would not be surprising that he died that day. After all, Tangun climbed up the tree secretly and made sure that there was no one around.This also means that he fell directly under the tree, likely to have a heart attack, and no one could find him.

It is estimated that when others find him, he will be completely cold.

But dying under a cherry blossom tree in spring also seemed romantic... he thought a little out of place.

Tangun undoubtedly cherished his own life, and it was not in his character to think about how he should die.But his current life can be seen to the end at a glance, so he will naturally think about this kind of thing.

The behavior of a heart patient climbing a cherry tree to play is very bearish, but Tangun is really not a good boy, and no one knows?What a bold and reckless person Tangun was, it was hard for the family members to imagine this.

He doesn't want his family to worry, but he doesn't want to restrain his behavior. Every adventure is a gamble with his own life.

Tangun thought about whether this was bad. If he really died because of his risky behavior, his family would be very sad.

But after thinking about it, he still wanted more freedom, so he concealed his problem.

If he lives carefully, how much difference is there between him and his death?

Tangun thought of Mr. Goblin who suddenly appeared and then disappeared, don't you know?The feeling?Feel lucky or should you?I feel sad.

After saving him, he disappeared...

It's like a dream.

Tangun also wanted to see that Mr. Fairy.

Is it for feeling?Xie, out of curiosity to explore the unknown, but also want to talk to him.

In this world, Mr. Goblin is probably the only one who knows?He did such a risky thing.For know?How does Tangun feel about the person who revealed his secret?After feeling a little unfettered, I had the urge to share more secrets with him.

Unfortunately, a year has passed, and he has not seen that Mr. Goblin again.

"I remember my senior said that my grades were only in the middle..." Yuu Pu looked at the textbook that Tangun had put aside.

This senior doesn't come to school every day, it's normal to only see him once or twice a week.

It is said that the rest of the time is recuperating at home.

even so?You can also pass the middle and upper reaches of the exam, so what will it look like if your body is in good health? "If the senior is in good health, he can probably get into the University of Tokyo, right?" Yumu Pu said. .

Tangun was slightly stunned, then laughed again: "Many people have said this kind of thing."

But what is the use of such words?Tangun didn't feel much comforted, but felt even more lonely in his heart.

It seems that his original destiny was smooth, but because of his own flaws, it became unsatisfactory.

He is not stumbled by many difficulties, but by one difficulty.

That's why Tangun found it ridiculous.

"What does Pu-kun want to do in the future?" Tangun didn't want to say this.

Visions of the future based on assumptions are delusional.

"I will only stay in this school from now on, and I won't go anywhere." Yumu Pu said with a smile to Tangun, he smiled happily, as if thinking of something that made him happy, "senior, what are you doing?" The froze expression is almost exactly the same as that of Mr. Dougaku."

Tangun looked at Yumupu, tilted his head, his hair slid down his cheeks, with a little helplessness, he smiled? : "Really, what is this talking about, you are still so young, you should go out and see more."

Tangun was actually kind of angry, his own health was not good and he was stuck.

And Yu Mupu's words are undoubtedly throwing away what he most wanted.

Tangun is a human being, he can get angry and jealous.

But he felt that this was Yu Mupu's own life, his own things, even if he abandoned it, it was his own choice.

Human beings have their own free will.

Just as Tangun didn't want others to interfere in his life, he also didn't feel that he should interfere in other people's choices.

Even thinking so, he still felt a little bit resentful.

His heart was throbbing, the physical discomfort made Tangun's mood worse, and his brain couldn't think rationally.

He said something stinging: "I'm definitely going to leave this school... People who can't live before graduation naturally can't stay here forever."

Tangun is very intelligent and very good at understanding others' clarity.

This also led to the fact that even if his mind was a little confused, he could accurately say the words that stabbed others.

Anyone who heard his words cared about him at all would be stung.

Yuki Pu opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't say anything.

He seemed to realize that what he just said was also very painful to Tangun.

"...Sorry." Tangun lowered his head and said? .

It is too much to hurt others with such words, what is wrong with Teak Pu?

Tangun didn't want others to treat him differently because he was a patient, he didn't feel that he needed special treatment from others.

But what he said just now made him look like that kind of person... His inner feelings at a certain moment?Shou really proved that he was what he didn't want to be.

Tangun hoped that even when he was dying, he could maintain his grace and rationality, instead of turning into a hideous figure.

The author has something to say: Small Theater - Tangun: Pujun.

Teak Pu: Yes!

Tangun: What you said just now is like walking like a cripple before a cripple, like Abba before a dumb...it will make me want to kill you.

Teak Pu: Oh, all right, senior.

Tangun: The only thing that is more extreme than this is probably playing suicide in front of critically ill patients who want to live.

Dazai (silently puts away the hemp rope).

Tangun: ... Dazai, what are you doing Dazai: Nothing nothing~ What can I do?

ps Teak Pu is the name of Hanako-kun during his lifetime.

Mi, please comment~