The love is too deep

You said you would come to find me, how come!impossible……

Seeing Lin Zhaonan's cowardly appearance, Daqun punched him in the face furiously, grabbed his back collar, and threw off the white cloth.

"Kong Huan! This is the coward you think about day and night! You don't even have the courage to see you for the last time! Are you worth it Kong Huan! Are you worth it!"

The crowd roared and cried, "If it wasn't for you...if it wasn't for going to your wedding..."

"Damn it! You bastard!"

He raised his foot and kicked Lin Zhaonan.

Lin Zhaonan lay limp and leaned against the end of the bed, he had already lost his strength, he still couldn't believe it, he covered his face and cried bitterly.

It wasn't Kong Huan who lost his blood in front of him, right?no!Right!

He wanted to ask, but he opened and closed his mouth but couldn't make a sound, he just broke down and cried.

Not him, no!

Lin Zhaonan shook his head desperately.

The crowd picked him up and pointed at him, wanting to pierce his heart.

"I told you Lin Zhaonan! You owe Kong Huan!"

Push him away directly.

Daqun inexplicably blamed himself and cried desperately: "Kong Huan, since I met you in junior high school, I have never seen you care about anyone so much! If I had known this before... then I should have stopped..."

Lin Zhaonan was completely dumbfounded when he saw Kong Huan's pale lips!

He yelled hoarsely: "A Huan...you promised me to come! I haven't announced our relationship with all the guests and friends! A Huan! Why didn't you hear the phrase "I love you" before you left!Huan!Don't make trouble!wake up please..."

No matter how frantically calling Kong Huan, he couldn't wake up.

"A Huan! I beg you...wake up..." His hoarse voice, which was always nice and pleasant, no longer existed, "Don't leave me! Please!"

Crying seems to be unable to vent this unbearable emotion.

Meng Jing didn't look at Lin Zhaonan, but wiped away her endless tears. She had an inexplicable resentment towards Lin Zhaonan and also hated herself.

Seeing the overwhelmed appearance of the elders, Daqun felt blocked and had nowhere to vent.

Looking at Lin Zhaonan, he felt that he had no right to cry and cry, saying some disgusting things here, disturbing people's peace!

Out of breath, he dragged Lin Zhaonan to go out. The dark blue suit was twisted and deformed. After letting go, it was full of wrinkles and stuck to Lin Zhaonan's body obediently.

Seeing his stubbornness, Daqun dragged him out by the collar, Lin Zhaonan gripped the hospital bed tightly and refused to let go.

"I want to accompany him! I'm not going anywhere!"

"Bastard!" Daqun scolded.

The two quarreled until Kong Fangshuai shouted angrily: "Get out!"

The crowd dragged Lin Zhaonan to the stairwell like a prisoner, venting their grievances.

Lin Zhaonan didn't fight back, Daqun punched and punched...

"Bastard! Get married! Damn...very happy, aren't you... happy to be married or happy to die of Kong Huan!"

Lin Zhaonan's eyes were dull, and to Daqun's surprise, he snorted coldly and shook his head.

"Damn it! Happy? Isn't it?"

Lin Zhaonan's short hair happened to be grabbed by Daqun, who slammed his head against the wall fiercely.

Lin Zhaonan let him torture himself.

Daqun gradually lost strength and squatted on the ground crying.

Now Lin Zhaonan is just a puddle of mud, looking embarrassed, he will not resist or refuse anyone who steps on him.

He couldn't cry anymore, he was desperate!I can't cry!

Lin Zhaonan's voice was humble, but his tone was calm: "I'm sorry!"

"I'm sorry? Don't fucking tell me! You deserve it!"

Lin Zhaonan really didn't deserve it after thinking about it, "He's gone...I don't want to live anymore either!"

Daqun suddenly raised his head, gritted his teeth and said: "Then you will die!"

Lin Zhaonan knew what it was like without Kong Huan, and it would be a good thing if he could accompany him.

He sniffed and leaned against the wall to force himself up, and stretched out the suit, which was left by Kong Huan for himself. It wrapped him tightly like when he was there, and he felt safe.

"Hmm! I'll go find him!", and walked upstairs.

Daqun couldn't hear any emotion in this sentence and didn't bother to care about him, sitting in the corner to calm down.

After passing through the iron gate, the corridor is empty and dilapidated, above which are the abandoned floors of the hospital. The cold wind from broken glass blows into the edge of the glass and makes a miserable and weird smile.

Lin Zhaonan stepped up the steps step by step like a puppet, the sound of footsteps hitting the wall bounced back to his ears.

Gradually, a familiar voice sounded but no one else was seen.

"Zhao Nan! I want to eat your cooking!"

"Zhao Nan! You have to buy me cakes for next year!"

"Zhao Nan! Let's go to Yujiao and buy a house with a big kitchen!"

"Zhao Nan! I miss you!"

Lin Zhaonan smiled silently and agreed in his heart!A Huan, I will give you everything you want!

"Zhao Nan! Don't be afraid! I'm here!"

Kong Huan always said this sentence when he needed him most, but now...

Ah Huan, you are gone!what do I do!What should I do without you by my side...

"Zhao Nan! As long as you miss me, I will always be there!"

Missing you is too painful!Ah Huan...I want to find you...

Pushing away the rusty iron gate, Lin Zhaonan came to the hospital roof.

The snow on the roof is so thick that it covers the feet, but no one cleans it. Who would be willing to work hard for such a redundant place!

The wind on the roof was blowing fiercely, causing Lin Zhaonan to shed tears but his face was still calm.

He walked steadily and leisurely, it hasn't been so easy for a long time!He raised his leg and stood firmly on the edge of life and death.

Huan!I've been pretty good since I was little!But there is not a single friend who can fall into my heart, until you appear, everything will be different!

You are both my confidant and my lover!The one I want to spend the rest of my life with!

Nice to meet you...

Lin Zhaonan looked into the distance, and the city was flattened to the horizon to form a line. Narrow and small buildings appeared in his eyes like boxes, but when combined they were boundless.

He wondered if there would be people like him and Kong Huan in these boxes!

Even though the difficulty of love is blatant and rampant, it is tortured...

Or parents support and love each other with peace of mind...

Huan!How did you say they met!Is it deliberately arranged by God like you and me!

It's winter now, but it was summer when the two met, but what I miss the most is the autumn in Qing'an Mountain...

Kong Huan drove himself through the mottled and sparse tree shadows, and the ambiguous feeling at that time was sour and sweet...

Too many firsts are given by him...

vivid memory……

Now you are gone!It's time to end everything!

Lin Zhaonan looked up at the sky and his mood became more and more comfortable. Since he can't control the people who hinder him in every possible way, he should throw himself out of the sky!

He breathed out his last breath.

That hesitant family relationship, that forced and helpless marriage... finally!I can finally unload all the burdens and go to you.

No one can tear us apart!

"A Huan! I'm here! Wait for me..."

Hard to be happy again ([-])

Daqun sat on the ground thinking more and more wrongly, wiped away tears, and ran upstairs two steps at a time.

"you come down!"

The wind whizzing past made him turn his face away and raised his head to shout again.

"Lin Zhaonan! You don't want to die! You have to live for me!"

"Uncles and aunts only have one son, Kong Huan! Have you ever thought about what they will do without Kong Huan, and who will take care of them for the rest of their lives!"

These words made Lin Zhaonan sober for a moment.

yes!They only have one son, Kong Huan, who will take care of them now that A Huan is gone!

"Don't try to evade responsibility, no matter what, you will be responsible for the rest of their lives!"

Lin Zhaonan's eyes were dull, his wind-blown cheeks were pale, and the only red part was the tips of his ears.

The crowd stepped forward and dragged him down.

In a daze, Lin Zhaonan felt that he had already gone to find Kong Huan, and the crowd dragged him down the stairs, swearing and swearing.

Before entering the ward, Daqun straightened their clothes. Lin Zhaonan stood at the door and did not go in. His brain was as empty as his eyes. One lost the ability to think and the other lost the ability to observe.

He didn't notice when the nurse pushed Kong Huan out, and Meng Jing and Kong Fangshuai left.Lin Zhaonan was like a sculpture, lifeless and clumsy, making the two of them sneer.

On the day of Kong Huan's funeral, several good friends came, of course Lin Zhaonan was also there.

Still looking stupid, the crowd scolded him so provocatively that he was too lazy to open his mouth, Lin Zhaonan didn't wake up.

It wasn't until Meng Jing came out holding Kong Huan's urn that Lin Zhaonan blatantly snatched it from Meng Jing's arms like a hungry beggar.

Hugging him tightly, this was the last time I hugged him.Small, his face was pressed against it so cold that he couldn't feel the slightest warmth.

Huan!It's me Zhaonan!I'm here to see you off!

Kong Fangshuai walked over and patted him lightly, but Lin Zhaonan didn't respond.

Kong Fangshuai warned in a low voice: "Bring it!" This was the last tolerance of Kong Huan's father to him.

Lin Zhaonan hesitated for a moment and let go of his hand, unwilling to hand him over to Kong Fangshuai.

"It's not yours!" Kong Fangshuai said coldly and got into the car.

Ah Huan...not mine...

What Kong Fangshuai said was reasonable, Lin Zhaonan knew he had no right to possess it.

All he has are the memories of the past four years, and that is the only thing that others can't take away!

Meng Jing, Kong Fangshuai wanted to burn all of Kong Huan's belongings, Lin Zhaonan repeatedly asked Daqun to take the things that belonged to the two of them to him, but Daqun was reluctant at first and finally agreed.

Lin Zhaonan was holding a small cardboard box and didn't know where to go.

He has been living in the hotel since he ran away from the wedding, Lin Jiang is no longer his home, only when Kong Huan is there.

But now!

He looked up and saw that the place where the two lived before was marked with the words "house for sale".

He seems to have no home.

I went to Changning Park with a box of things in my arms, and found a clean and snow-free seat to sit down.

Here he gave his own contact information. At that time, the little deer in his heart rushed away with Huanhuan in his arms, hesitating whether to add it, and finally added it and knew his name. Later, they ran and walked Huanhuan together until the end together...

Lin Zhaonan took out the photo album from the box.

Kong Huan glued the photos that had been torn to shreds neatly by Kong Huan, but some of them were missing a few pieces.

Lin Zhaonan felt a little regretful.

In the first photo, Huanhuan, who built a snowman that winter, was covered with snow. Kong Huan’s big face took up half of the photo. His big nostrils are so funny...

In the second photo, the two celebrated their birthday together for the first time. In the photo, he was hugging Huanhuan and looking at him making a wish. It turned out that there was a secret hidden in his eyes at that time...

The third photo is a photo of the two of them looking at each other at the sports meeting. His side face is so pretty and his eyes are so pretty. I can't forget the feeling of him hugging my shoulder...

Lin Zhaonan flipped backwards, and there were his and himself figures in every picture.

Everyone celebrates the new year together, goes to Qing'anshan together, and attends a large group of weddings together...

He took out one, which was a photo taken when the two of them went to Yujiao together.

Yu Jiao was caught by lottery because he didn't know where to go on a trip, Kong Huan thought of a way to draw lots, Lin Zhaonan looked at the paper balls hesitantly, took a long time to pick up one and opened it to see that it was Yu Jiao.

It was summer at that time, and Yu Jiao couldn't go out during the day because of the sweltering heat, so he could only hide in the hotel with the air conditioner on, and go out for a stroll at night.

It was very pleasant for the two of them to stroll by the seaside and blow the evening sea breeze, without the impetuous mood during the day.

They walked barefoot on the beach and felt the roughness of the gravel, making their soles itchy. The sound of waves after waves seemed extraordinarily clean in the noisy suburbs.

Lin Zhaonan said, "Ah Huan! This place is not bad!"

Kong Huan remembered a sentence he had inadvertently said, except for Changning, Kong Huan had never heard Lin Zhaonan comment on any place.

"We'll move here if you like it!"

Kong Huan knew that he liked Yu Jiao, and from then on, he had the idea of ​​coming here to settle down.

The photos in my hands were soaked with tears, and those beautiful visions were washed away with tears.

Huan!I miss you so much!

He also took out "Six Chapters of a Floating Life". Kong Huan said that this book was about Shen Fu and Yun Niang's boudoir pleasures, and he liked to read it very much.

It is also said that Shen Fu's feelings for Yunniang are like his feelings for himself.

At that time, I also retorted that Shen Fu was more promiscuous, and with Yun Niang, he was still having fun with women outside.

Then he questioned Kong Huan angrily: "You won't be like him! You like me and mess around outside!"

Kong Huan swore with one hand: "I! Kong Huan! I only love Lin Zhaonan in this life! I have no second thoughts! Others don't even look at it! If it violates me, I will eat Xiangxiang!", the serious look is very funny.

"Are you disgusting!"

"What about you?" Kong Huan grabbed his hand.

"I...I can't tell!" Lin Zhaonan joked.

Kong Huan knew that he was scratching Lin Zhaonan on purpose, and turned several times on the bed before begging for mercy.

The laughter and fights between the two are clear and real, but now they can only be played in my mind like a silent movie...

"Zhao Nan! Where are you?" Ai Yang called him.

Lin Zhaonan wiped away tears: "Changning Park!"

"Dad told you to come home!"

"No return!"

"Zhang Duoer is here too!"

Lin Zhaonan was upset when he heard this name, "You told them that I went to Yujiao!"

hang up the phone.

He didn't intend to go to Yujiao, but he didn't want to face some people, so he booked a ticket and left that night.

Lin Zhaonan first went to Kong Huan's renovated shop to reorganize the business model, and then Kong Huan continued to discuss a few unfinished business.

He felt the difficulty of Kong Huan's socializing, and went back to the hotel every day to take off his suit and lie on the bed, too tired to talk.

Even though he was very tired, Kong Huan would still call him, but now he wanted to call him and say something to him: A Huan!Thanks a lot!

Hard to be happy again ([-])

May……

Xu Wanwan successfully gave birth to a baby girl, and Ling Aoqun's mouth was full of joy, and she swayed around in her arms.

With tears in her eyes, she yelled "Ling Yushanshan" one after another.

Everyone will feel a little sad when they say this name, but it will soon be diluted by the child's innocent and soft smile.

I don't remember being sad at all.

Lin Zhaonan bought some small skirts for the child. Kong Huan said that when the child is born, he will buy all kinds of beautiful clothes for the child to wear.

That day Lin Zhaonan called Ai Yang.

"Ai Yang, accompany me to Daqun's house in a few days!"

"what happened?"

"I haven't seen the child since it was born!"

Ever since Kong Huan's accident, although he had contacts with Daqun, Daqun always spoke with a stick in his mouth. No matter what Daqun said, Lin Zhaonan would always smile, but the pain in his heart could not be relieved for a long time.

So Lin Zhaonan didn't dare to go by himself.

Ai Yang agreed to him, and the two made an appointment to go together when they were free.

Fast forward to Saturday.

Daqun's home was really lively, seeing off relatives and friends, but it was a calm, and welcoming two more.

Ai Yang held Shanshan in his arms, so small and cute.The afternoon sun shone on the child's little face, which would break if poked, and it was flesh-colored and tender.

Lin Zhaonan's heart warmed when he saw it, and he began to worry: "Give me a hug!"

Daqun was annoyed, "Don't hug me badly!"

Xu Wanwan sat on the bed and stared at Daqun: "How are you talking!"

The large group sullenly said nothing.

Xu Wanwan said to Shanshan: "Girl! This is your godfather!"

In Lin Zhaonan's arms, Shanshan was making milky sounds as if she was talking to herself, and he pouted to tease her.

Shanshan's little hand tightly grasped his index finger, soft and strong.

Pulling on Lin Zhaonan's strong body, he almost revealed the heart that could be broken in one blow under the disguise.

Huan!Did you see it!Shanshan is so cute!

Ai Yang leaned over to touch her little hand again and wanted her to grab him, but the little thing ignored him and only looked at Lin Zhaonan.

Ai Yang said: "Look! Shanshan is so snobbish that she has a relationship with a rich godfather like you!"

Lin Zhaonan said: "Shanshan! Hurry up and take you to play when you grow up."

"I'll talk about the future! I don't want my daughter to run around, what if I get wild and can't control it!"

While Daqun was talking, Meng Jing and Kong Fangshuai also came to visit with their things.

The originally kind smiles on the faces of the two disappeared for a second when they saw Lin Zhaonan, and then appeared again.

Lin Zhaonan took care: "Uncle and aunt!"

The two regarded him as air and ignored him.

Meng Jing teased the little baby, "What did you say just now! "Wild" and "uncontrollable"? "

Xu Wanwan didn't answer, afraid that if something was wrong, the elder would be sad, so she changed the subject and said, "When Shanshan grows up, she can be called grandma!"

"Yes! Yes!" Meng Jing used to have no crow's feet when she laughed, but now they almost extend to her temples. "Then grow up quickly, grandpa and grandma will take you to buy delicious food!"

Seeing a few pieces of baby clothes on the bed, I picked them up, looked around, looked at the delicate and small clothes, and liked to ask, "These clothes are beautiful, who bought them?"

Look at the large group of eyes.

Daqun glanced at Lin Zhaonan who was leaning against the wall without saying a word, and then winked at Ai Yang.

Ai Yang answered in a hurry: "Ah! Auntie! I bought it! I bought it because it looked good when I was shopping for baby products!"

"It's really good-looking! You have eyes!"

Lin Zhaonan was very happy to get Meng Jing's affirmation indirectly.

Meng Jing, Kong Fangshuai was driven home by Lin Zhaonan, and he was speechless all the way, only Ai Yang kept looking for topics to ease the atmosphere, so he didn't appear embarrassed.

When she was about to get out of the car, Meng Jing said indifferently: "Don't give us money in the future, we have hands and feet to support ourselves!"

Slam the door away.

Kong Fangshuai sighed while sitting in the car, and when he opened the car door, Lin Zhaonan stopped him: "Uncle!"

Kong Fangshuai paused.

"I will still call the card on time for the monthly living expenses. I know you and auntie don't want to see me! I... try not to show up but I will still pay attention to you two."

"What's the matter..." He shook the steering wheel, "What's the matter, tell me!"

Although he knew that the two of them would not say anything to him, he did not ask for their forgiveness but only wanted to fulfill his duty on Kong Huan's behalf to atone for himself.

He owes the Kong family.

Meng Jing stood outside and shouted: "What are you dawdling in! Go upstairs!"

Kong Fangshuai stepped on the ground and said before closing the car door: "Yes! Good!"

This was the first time Lin Zhaonan received a reply from Kong Fangshuai. He didn't know how to express the joy in his heart, but the smile on his face could explain everything.

He knew that his relationship with the two of them was slowly breaking through, at least with Kong Fangshuai.

Debt Is Hard to Pay ([-])

After the house was renovated, Lin Zhaonan and Zhang Duoer moved in. Although they lived under the same roof, they always slept in separate rooms.

There is the name of husband and wife, but there is no reality of husband and wife.

Lin Zhaonan went out early and came back late every day. He often went home in the middle of the night drunk, and locked himself in his room every time he came back.This day, Lin Zhaonan had two drinking sessions, and he was really drunk.

He didn't drive, and walked home crying with his head spinning, looking like a beggar muttering two words, Kong Huan.

He was almost hit by the driver a few times and got out of the car and cursed at him. He almost got into a fight with someone. Fortunately, he met a kind person and just received a call from Zhang Duoer.

The man told Zhang Duoer the location, and she took a taxi and came.

Zhang Duoer blurred into Kong Huan's appearance in front of her eyes: "A Huan! You're here!"

Zhang Duo'er felt cold and responded: "It's me! Brother Zhao Nan! Duo'er!"

Lin Zhaonan rubbed his eyes and found that it was Zhang Duoer who quickly pushed her arm away, Zhang Duoer staggered.

He didn't want to get too close to her, "You... you go! I want... A Huan!"

"Brother Zhao Nan!" Zhang Duoer wiped away tears anxiously.

Lin Zhaonan walked forward on his own, cursing: "Ah Huan! You bastard! Don't come to pick me up!"

In the middle of the night, the streets were empty, and the few pedestrians walked in a hurry.

He shouted: "Kong Huan! Come out! Kong Huan!"

Zhang Duoer followed behind and wept silently, unable to bear it any longer, she called him angrily, "Lin Zhaonan!"

Lin Zhaonan's body stopped but he couldn't stand still.

back...

The street lights were dim and the eyes were full of halos. He knew it was Zhang Duoer but when he walked in front of him, he turned into Kong Huan. He smiled and touched his cheek.

"A Huan! You're here! I'm so tired!"

"miss you!"

"A Huan..." He said and lay in Kong Huan's arms.

Lin Zhaonan seemed to hear Kong Huan say to himself: "Zhaonan! You drank too much, let's go home!"

Lin Zhaonan obeyed and followed back.

Zhang Duo'er helped him to the car with great effort and made him lie down when he got home. She wanted to wipe his face with a towel but Lin Zhaonan grabbed him.

"A Huan! Are you leaving me again! Huh?"

Zhang Duoer was hurt by Lin Zhaonan: "Brother Zhaonan! Let go!"

At this moment, Lin Zhaonan's eyes and heart were full of Kong Huan, and his ears were filled with Kong Huan's voice.

"Don't let go! I let you go and you left me again! Don't let go!" He muttered childishly.

His fragility, his softness, and his truest side can only be seen by Kong Huan.

"A Huan! Don't run away!"

Lin Zhaonan used all his strength to drag Zhang Duo'er down on the bed and put him under him.

He kissed him tenderly.

But in his mouth he called again and again: "A Huan...I miss you so much..."

Zhang Duoer pandered like crazy, tears were her only outlet.Afterwards, Lin Zhaonan fell into a deep sleep, and the babble in his dream was all about Kong Huan.

Zhang Duoer covered her naked body with a quilt, and buried herself in the pillow, weeping silently, crying and crying but she laughed, her emotions were so complicated that she couldn't figure it out.

It is pain, and there is another person living in the heart of the painful husband, and that person is a man.

It is happiness, happiness that you have obtained the body of your loved one, even if it is only this time.

She loves Lin Zhaonan, he is the one she has waited for so many years to get, so she doesn't want to let go, not to mention there is a marriage letter, she will never give up, as long as she can be by his side, no matter how he treats her, she is willing to bear it.

Thinking that she turned around and gently pecked Lin Zhaonan's cheek.

In the early morning of the next day, Lin Zhaonan woke up with a splitting headache, and found Zhang Duoer lying beside him, speechless in shock.

Zhang Duo'er woke up early, seeing Lin Zhaonan's surprised expression, she carried the clothes and left the bedroom wisely, and closed the door.

Lin Zhaonan tried his best to recall everything yesterday, regretting endlessly.

When I opened the bed, I found the dazzling redness left on the bed sheet, and I felt even more uncomfortable.It should have felt pity, but for some reason it bored him and made him feel sick.

I feel like I have completely betrayed Kong Huan.

Zhang Duoer cooked the meal, the two of them bowed their heads in silence at the dinner table, Zhang Duoer blushed and heart beat, Lin Zhaonan remained expressionless.

He didn't want to look at her, even though it was his fault yesterday, he felt a sense of disbelief in his heart.

After this incident, he went to Yujiao and did not return home for more than a month.I was quiet and comfortable outside, without any worries, and gradually forgot about Zhang Duoer until I received a call from Lin Jiang.

He told himself that Zhang Duoer was pregnant, and the city wall that Lin Zhaonan had finally built collapsed again.

Zhang Duo'er's pregnancy was beyond everyone's expectations, the elders were happy, needless to say, but Lin Zhaonan really couldn't accept it.

Before this, Lin Zhaonan had mentioned divorce many times, but Zhang Duo'er repeatedly forced him to die, and his arrogant and crazy attitude reminded him of Lin Jiang.

As a victim, Lin Zhaonan's sympathy for her was exhausted by Zhang Duo'er, and he could still say a few words, but after knowing that she was pregnant, Lin Zhaonan's attitude towards her fell to the bottom, and he was so cold that he shivered.

In this way, Zhang Duoer still tried to play the image of a good wife every day, and Lin Zhaonan ignored her at all.

Looking down and not seeing each other, the relationship between the two has not changed in the years since their daughter Lin Xuxin was born.

It was only with the passage of time that Lin Zhaonan gradually eased up...

Debt is hard to repay ([-])

I am Lin Xuxin.

Father Lin Zhaonan, mother Zhang Duoer.

He grew up at his grandparents' house since he was a child. Their name is Kong Fangshuai and Meng Jing.I also have a grandparent but not very close to them, plus that grandpa passed away when I was six years old, I hardly remember it.

When I was young, I was so curious that I asked my grandma why my father and grandpa didn’t have the same surname. She never answered but just patted my head and laughed.

I don't bother anymore.

I like to eat the rice made by my grandma the most. I feel that it is the best I have ever eaten, and I can eat a full bowl every time.

When Grandma Qingxun came, she would huddle with her in the kitchen and study the recipes together, and occasionally her aunt would come over for dinner.

It’s just that my parents seldom come. Except for picking me up every Saturday and sending me back on Sunday night, my mother has never set foot in this house during the rest of the time.

Ai Yang and Aunt Xia He picked me up to play at noon that day, and my father was there.

In my impression, he has always been very handsome and super cool, the kind that my aunt would turn her head frequently when walking on the street.

My aunt asked me, "Yu Yin, which skirt do you like?"

My nickname is Yu Yin, but I don't quite understand why it is called Yu Yin.

I pointed to the pink one and said, "This one!"

My aunt is very generous and buys me a lot of food and play every time. Wearing a new dress, they took me to Daqun's uncle's house.

Uncle Daqun is really getting fatter and greasy. Although he is the same age as his father, he seems to be ten years older than his father.

Sister Shanshan would take me to play with toys and always leave good things for me.Auntie Wanwan bought me a small schoolbag, because I was reluctant to go to kindergarten, but I was not so reluctant when I thought of going to the same school as Sister Shanshan.

After dinner, my father took me to cut my hair.

He seems to have never changed his hairstyle, and every time he goes to the barber shop, the boss knows how to cut it without words and just a smile.

My father touched my head and said: "Our Yuyin is best suited for short hair with ears!"

Father's eyes are not bad!After the cut, the fleshy face looks cute.

My father sent me to my mother, and he also went upstairs and sat for a while.

He is very cold to his mother and the two have been separated, unlike his grandfather who occasionally makes grandma happy.

I always feel like there is someone between my parents.

"Baby! Who bought you the dress! It's so beautiful!" Mom is always gentle, she is a good mother.

"Aunt Ai Yang, Aunt Xia He!"

Every time I heard these two names, the corners of my mother's mouth would always collapse, and her face would look gloomy as if it was going to rain. There was a feeling that they would lead me badly.

Dad sat beside him without saying a word. In his eyes, his mother was a transparent person.

I know that my father is indifferent to everyone, his warmth is not given to anyone but I share half of it, but I don't know who he will give to the other half.

It was only after I grew up that I got to know that person and their stories.

It turned out that my father's favorite was hidden in my name.

That day my father went to his grandparents drunk and refused to go home, saying "Kong Huan" in his mouth. I have only seen this person in photos.

Dad was lying in my room talking inarticulately.

"In the next life... In the next life, it's better that we don't know each other! It's best to live a peaceful and stable life!"

I looked at his frowning as if he was trying to remember, but that expression clearly told me that the picture in his mind was blurred.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... A Huan! I seem to have forgotten..."

Grabbing my grandfather again, he said, "When we walk on the street, no one knows that we are "gays"!Why break us up! "

Since then I have known the word "gay".

I also know that the father has incorporated his longing for another man into his daughter's name.

After graduating from university, my father sent me abroad to continue my studies. During those years abroad, I received news of my parents' divorce.

Fortunately, the mother found a man who loved her and started a new life, and gave birth to a younger brother.

Unfortunately, my father suffered from schizophrenia, which has nothing to do with my mother or anyone. My father told me that it was caused by his inability to remember the past with that person.

Later... my father went completely crazy...

When he saw his father again, he had a calm face and a dignified manner, no different from a normal person.

It's just that the dark blue suit is old and shiny!

The nurse told me that my father would not be so manic if he wore it.

I feel sorry for my father, but I feel that this ending is the best. At least my father's unconsciousness will reduce the pain caused by reality, and I don't have to force myself to look for the already blurred memory.

The sea of ​​people is rushing and boundless, and we will eventually surge forward with the crowd.

I thought I wouldn't forget you, but I couldn't stand the smoke and fire of firewood, rice, oil, salt, and even the remaining feeling was worn down by life.

Like burnt paper ashes, sporadic sparks, lit and extinguished after being blown by the wind, until there is no light and no heat...