Beauty has a lot of bad thoughts

"Bullying" is much more serious than "bullying".

When he examines his past, he always has a lot of criticism and unwillingness.To be able to say this is already very remarkable.

"I'm sorry, Chris." Xue Dingbang was so distressed that he hugged his body gently, "If you feel uncomfortable, you don't need to say it. We can talk about other topics."

"Bullying exists everywhere, it's no big deal!" Chris Maeda snorted coldly, stretched out his arms to hug Xue Dingbang, and put his chin on his shoulder. "Dingbang, have you seen what I looked like when I was a child? Before puberty, I really looked like a pretty girl!"

Like now.Xue Dingbang thought.Of course, only on the surface level.

In his heart, Maeda Chris seems to wish he could be a girl.When they went to the autumn festival, he also wore women's clothes, and was very happy about it.

Regarding gender, he has always been a little confused.

After all, Maeda Chris is still too young, maybe he hasn't figured it out-whether he wants to be a man or a woman.

Xue Dingbang hugged Maeda Chris and tightened his arms: "No matter what you look like, you are very beautiful."

"You are the one who makes me the most happy!" Maeda Chris smiled and kissed Xue Dingbang on the neck, "Because I was too beautiful, I was always called a 'shemale' by those classmates! Some students and I Same, people in the village go to school in Tokyo. They brought this nickname back to the village. Ah, I really hate them! Because of that dead old woman who is serving as a wine hostess, they look down on our mother and son even more !"

"That's not your fault, Chris," said Schrödingbang. "It's the people who slandered you who should repent and be ashamed. They should repent for their viciousness and be ashamed of their ignorance."

Chris Maeda squinted his eyes happily, and said in a cheerful tone: "Brother Kuan said the same thing! He said that these little brats have too little experience! In Kabuki, all male geisha pretend to be women! Actually , I don’t know how Brother Ah Kuan knows, he seems to know everything! Brother Ah Kuan will stand up for me and protect me. He watched my birth, and he really treated me like a younger brother. When that happened Before, it was like this..."

"What's the matter?" Xue Dingbang immediately became interested, and asked in a tone of impatience.

Chris Maeda pursed his lips, as if he was a little reluctant to mention the thing that changed the trajectory of his life.The atmosphere of silence between the two became somewhat stalemate.In the end, Chris Maeda seemed to have made up his mind. He took a deep breath and chose to speak out.

"Actually... I went to a middle school in Karuizawa town and studied for half a year." Chris Maeda exhaled and found a comfortable place to nest in Xue Dingbang's arms, "I went back to the village to study. The reason, do you know why?"

Of course Xue Dingbang didn't know, he chose to listen to Chris Maeda continue to tell.

"I was expelled from a middle school in Tokyo! Because I did something bad..." Chris Maeda wanted to pretend to smile indifferently, but he twitched the corners of his mouth, but he still couldn't smile. "My classmates think I'm a pervert! Actually, it's not a big deal! At that time, I just felt that I was a little different from other boys..."

Calculating the time, Chris Maeda was only twelve or thirteen years old at that time.Xue Dingbang couldn't help sighing in his heart - this child is really precocious.When he was 14 years old, he was very ignorant about feelings, sexual orientation and so on.

It was not until the appearance of Chris Maeda in his thirties that Xue Dingbang opened a new door and let Xue Dingbang discover another self.

Ah, it turns out that I am also interested in men.

"At that time, my classmates often bullied me. I hated them, so I took revenge on them!" Chris Maeda shook his fist, grinning his teeth trying to make a vicious look.But his face is really beautiful, even with this expression, it just looks like a cute and fierce. "I'm very powerful. I counted those who bullied me! They don't dare to bully me anymore, but I myself..."

"Speaking of which, it's really stupid!" Chris Maeda laughed, as if he was telling someone else's story, "I was in physical education class that day, and when I went to take a shower with my classmates, I found that some people's bodies, Already starting to look like a man. They exude a nice watermelon smell, even sweat, I feel good smelling."

"I've never felt this scent before. So, I sneaked into the men's locker room..." Chris Maeda fell into memories and paused here for a long time.Xue Dingbang hugged him like this, without saying anything, neither criticizing Chris Maeda, nor echoing his words.

"I just want to make sure—where did these scents come from?" Chris Maeda played with his fingers, twisting them back and forth, as if he was wrapping a sweater that didn't exist. "I've smelled every student's clothes. After physical education class, everyone's smell is so strong..."

Chris Maeda lowered his head, took a few deep breaths, and then mustered up the courage to continue: "I was discovered by my classmates. They thought I was a pervert, not only a 'shemale' or a 'pervert'..."

"I'm just, I'm just confused!" Tears rolled in Maeda Chris's eyes, his red eye circles made people look distressed, "I don't know what happened to me, no one has ever told me this I just, just want to make sure... Dingbang, am I really perverted?"

"No." Xue Dingbang replied calmly and gently, "But it's also wrong for you to secretly take other people's clothes."

"Dingbang, I thought you would speak for me!" Chris Maeda bit Xue Dingbang's arm coquettishly, with little force, which was similar to that of a kitten playing with its owner, "Anyway, I was fired! That dead old woman transferred me to a junior high school in Karuizawa. People in the village started talking about me."

"Then... I changed a school and a group of classmates, but the situation still hasn't improved." The corners of Chris Maeda's eyes were red, and the tears accumulated more and more. "That stinky woman still beats and scolds me all day long, asking me why I can't be normal! She still counts on my pretty face to trick a young lady into a big company as an adopted child!"

In Japan, there is indeed a matter of adopting adults as adopted sons and son-in-laws.It may be that it is difficult for Chinese people to understand, but this is a shortcut for young people at the bottom of society to achieve class leap.

Schrödingbang was noncommittal and did not comment.

Chris Maeda raised his eyes, and stared at Xue Dingbang with his injured eyes: "At that time, only Brother Kuan supported me. But he didn't know what it was like to be a gay man! He said, when I grow up , marry a wife, those rumors will disappear automatically."

"I, I did something wrong!" Maeda Chris closed his eyes and let the tears flow down his face, "That day, I fought with the children in the village, and it was at Grandma Narita's house. Brother Kuan I went out to chop wood and found me who fell down the hillside. We knocked on the door of Grandma Narita’s house, and she was terrified, so she hurried to find medicine bottles and bandages to treat my injuries.”

Chris Maeda opened his eyes and stared at the emptiness in front of him: "Brother Kuan asked me the reason for the fight, and I said that the man said I was a pervert who liked men. Brother Kuan told me to date girls in middle school, You can smash the rumors. I, I came out to Brother Ah Kuan. I told Brother Ah Kuan that the rumors in the village are actually true——I like men. I still remember that time, Brother Ah Kuan’s face Expression. Grandma Narita came over with the medicine, and she was so scared that she dropped the medicine bottle."

"The next day, Brother Kuan walked away when he met me again. Grandma Narita shook her head and sighed when she saw me." Chris Maeda seemed to have experienced a struggle. He said these words, as if he had exhausted all his strength.He fell into Xue Dingbang's arms without strength, limp and lifeless. "I really, couldn't face them anymore. So I dropped out of school and was sold to work in a circus. Since then, I haven't been back to Karuizawa..."

Xue Dingbang hugged Chris Maeda and shook gently: "Chris, thank you for being so honest with me. I think it's better for us to go to Akuan's house for dinner tonight. He came to invite you, which means that he doesn't care about this matter. Come on. Do you know what Grandma Narita thinks of us? She said—masculinity, I understand. Grandma Narita has lived so long, she has seen all kinds of troubles. She doesn’t care whether you like men or women, what she cares about is— —Are you having a good time?"

"Grandma Narita really said that?" Chris Maeda blinked his big eyes curiously, "I didn't know she knew what masculinity was before!"

Xue Dingbang pinched his cheek with a smile, and said with a bit of blame: "The Narita family is a big family, right? She is the president of the agricultural association in the village, right? She has handled so many things and done so many jobs." , how can you not know about men's sex? She didn't look down on you, she said that Qingzi is a good woman and you are a good boy. She taught me to cook and cook the dishes you like. These are all in the hope of your happiness Performance."

"Is what you said true??" Chris Maeda looked at Xue Dingbang incredulously, "Does she really care about me that much?"

"Since Kuan was able to invite you to his house for dinner, he has accepted this fact." Xue Dingbang stroked Chris Maeda's cheek and wiped away his tears, "It has been several years, Chris. You are loved by this world You don’t have to live in the shadow of the past all the time.”

The old clock is ticking, and something that has been stopped for a long time is starting to work at this moment.

They kissed in the ringing of the bell, and greeted the arrival of a bright future with the ceremony bestowed on lovers by the god of love.

"It seems that I fixed it." Xue Dingbang held Chris Maeda's face and gently touched his lips, "As long as it is properly lubricated and cleaned, even the time that has been rusted can continue to move forward."