Beauty has a lot of bad thoughts

"Is it cold?" Xue Dingbang lowered his head, looking at the kitten who was a head shorter than him.The trembling from the fingertips made him understand that the child was afraid, "Otherwise, wait until tomorrow, the temperature will be higher during the day. If it doesn't snow tomorrow..."

"But I am tomorrow," Chris Maeda shook his head, holding Xue Dingbang tighter, as if he was afraid that Xue Dingbang would slip away from his hand if he let go, "do you want to spend time with Dingbangsang in the kotatsu " He gritted his teeth, and said nonchalantly, "Sweeping the grave of that dead old woman, such a boring thing, you can just do it casually!"

Xue Dingbang stopped, stared at him with complicated expressions for a long time, and then said: "We have traveled a long way, where is your mother's grave?"

Chris Maeda blinked, and under Xue Dingbang's gaze, he finally told the truth: "I have already passed by. I... I just want Xue Dingbang to hold my hand and walk a little longer like this."

"Okay, when the weather gets warmer, I'll take you out for a walk like this every day." Schrödingbang paused, then added, "But it can't be a walk in the cemetery."

"Okay!" Chris Maeda smiled sweetly, and grabbed Xue Dingbang's arm, "Here!"

After saying this, he bit his lip, and his nails dug hard into Xue Dingbang's flesh.

Maeda Chris held the lamp in one hand and Xue Dingbang in the other, walking very slowly.

The road ahead is dark, like the abyss of hell, and it is difficult to find the bottom.Every step he took was very careful, as if he was afraid that if he stepped on the air, he would fall into the abyss.

They came to an inconspicuous small tomb. The square black stones were smaller than other cemeteries.In front of the tombstone, the withered plants had been covered by falling snow, and the smell of decaying plants that the cold air could not cover up was lingering.It was dilapidated and looked like it hadn't been looked after in years.

"I haven't been back for several years." Maeda Chris smiled bitterly, and he tore off the withered plant violently, "Hey! Smelly woman! Dead old woman! I came to see you!"

The situation of Maeda Chris is a bit wrong. Although he still smiles on his face, his smile is extremely distorted.

Xue Dingbang had never seen Chris Maeda smiling like this before. In front of him, Chris Maeda always wanted to show the most pitiful and tender side.

Now, this young man is smiling like a clown.He swept the broom roughly across the tombstone, and let out a series of inarticulate growls.

"My card is the clown."

So, does this sentence mean this?Xue Dingbang thought.

"Damn old woman, go to hell!" Maeda Chris laughed wildly, and the small jar of sacrifices placed in front of the tombstone was swept out, hitting the tombstone next to it, making a crisp sound.

A great deal of dust fell on the snow, covering it with a layer of gray.

The crisp crashing sound is especially loud in the cemetery late at night.Chris Maeda whipped the snow on the tombstone with a broom like crazy, and couldn't stop laughing.

Xue Dingbang really couldn't stand it, and didn't understand why Maeda Chris suddenly collapsed and went crazy when he was fine just now.He grabbed Chris Maeda's wrist, pulled him into his arms, and patted him on the back: "Okay, calm down. She's been dead for a long time."

At the beginning, Chris Maeda was still struggling, but he heard Xue Dingbang state a fact - the fact that his mother had died.His movements froze, and his whole body froze in place.He seemed to be frozen into a statue by the cold and cruel reality in an instant.

"She, is she dead?" Chris Maeda's eyes widened. Tears slowly filled his eyes, but they didn't fall. They just rolled back and forth in his eyes.His body was trembling, from his hair to his fingertips.He turned his head, and slowly exhaled a mouthful of white mist, "No...you...are you dead...?"

After a short period of calm and pause, Chris Maeda was stupefied and repeated dreamily: "Already, dead? Already dead?" He suddenly broke free from Schrödingbang, grabbed the broom in the snow, and frantically moved the tombstone to the ground. The snow on the road was swept everywhere: "You are already dead—! Smelly old woman—! Why did you die without authorization? You get up and scold me again—! Hit me again—! You stinking Watch——!"

"Enough, Chris!" Xue Dingbang hugged Chris Maeda from behind, and with the help of his tall figure and strong strength, he pressed Chris Maeda against the tombstone, "Calm down, what's wrong with you? Chris? You don't want to visit the grave, let's go back, and I'll take you home, okay?"

"Go home?" Chris Maeda grabbed the tombstone tightly, tears streaming down the cold stone, "I don't have a home, where can I go back? Where can I go back?"

"Chris?" Xue Dingbang's heart trembled, and this big boy crying on the tombstone looked so strange at the moment.Although in the past period of time, the relationship between them was so close.

This person who is by his side every day and meets him every day looks so strange.

It turned out that I didn't know him so well.

No, it never occurred to me to approach and get to know him.

I just blindly accept his love for me, accept all his desires for myself, and accept the role that is needed by others.

Xue Dingbang lowered his eyes and looked at the trembling and crying Maeda Chris with compassion.Playing such a familiar role, I don't have to bother too much to understand him.It's easy to stay within your comfort zone as long as you respond to all of his needs.

It wasn't until Xue Dingbang tried to go out that he discovered the cruel fact-they didn't have the same heart.There is no such thing as a tacit understanding. Their age, way of thinking, and intergenerational generation can only be made up through sincere and straightforward communication.

And all of these, I hope it's not too late to start now.

"Why, why did you give birth to me and drive me away?" Maeda Chris scratched his fingernails on the tombstone with a very harsh voice, and there was a hint of crying in his vicious tone, "Why don't you Believe me?! You actually left me and died on your own accord!"

His thin shoulders trembled slightly.His slender body seemed to be under a thousand tons of weight.His crying was so hoarse and piercing, he couldn't tell how sweet his voice was usually.

"Chris..." Xue Dingbang no longer used brute force to control him, but gently hugged him from behind. "Please don't be sad. I don't want to see you sad..."

"Dingbangsang, do you like me?" Chris Maeda didn't answer directly, but turned his head and stared at Xue Dingbang with teary eyes, "Even a little bit, have you ever liked me?"

Xue Dingbang held his face seriously, and wiped away the tears with his thumb: "Since I came to Japan with you, of course I like you. I will not leave, and I will always stay by your side."

"Really? That's great." Chris Maeda took his hand and kissed his palm full of admiration, "Even if Dingbangsang lied to me, I'm still very happy, even if only a little bit. Dingbangsang , if your heart only leaves a space the size of a fingernail for me, I will stick my finger in and fill that space."

"Chris..." Xue Dingbang sighed, held him in his arms, and comforted him softly, "Let's clean this place and then go back, shall we?"

"Dingbangsang, your love for me," Chris Maeda raised his head, his affectionate eyes glowing, "When will it rise to the level of loving me?"

Xue Dingbang parted his forehead bangs, and printed a kiss on that smooth and beautiful forehead: "Fool, don't think too much."

Maeda Chris lowered his head, wrinkled his nose and cried again: "You lied to me! You love Lawyer Yin! Always! Always! And only him! As long as he needs, you will go to him immediately! Even if he hurt and betrayed you like that, you will easily forgive him! As long as he calls, you can wait for him at the airport for several days! You have abandoned me several times, for the sake of Lawyer Yin!"

Xue Dingbang was choked, he was speechless at all.What Chris Maeda said is true, at least in the past 30 years, it is an established fact that he has never doubted.

However, now this love has become moldy.Only those yellowish memories are left, which are still deeply engraved in the bottom of my heart.It's just an occasional dull pain at night when I'm alone.

"Those are not important anymore." Xue Dingbang sighed, grabbed Chris Maeda's chin, and forced him to look up, "Chris, look at me." Xue Dingbang held his cloth with a serious face. Tears-stained delicate face, "Now, here I am. Beside you, you still wear my coat, I hold you, no one else. I look at you, I don't look at anyone else. I love You don't love anyone else."

"But you are still in contact with Chamberlain!" Chris Maeda had a sore nose, and couldn't help but shed tears again. He grabbed Xue Dingbang's skirt, shook it vigorously, and roared, as if he wanted to express the grievances he had suffered in the past few months. , vented half of it in a screaming way, "You have only lived together for a week or two, and I can't make you forget him in two months?"

Xue Dingbang pinched the eyebrows with a headache: "You broke the phone, I haven't contacted him for a long time."

"If we weren't in the countryside where you can't buy mobile phones, if I didn't force you to stay, if I didn't withhold all the money...you will still contact him if you have a mobile phone, right?" Chris Maeda Reluctantly grabbing his skirt, tears and broken beads rolled down, "Dingbangsang, didn't you say you love me? Why do you still betray me and contact Chamberlain?!"

Xue Dingbang touched his hairy head: "I contacted Chamberlain only out of concern and sympathy, that's not love."

Chris Maeda looked at him affectionately, but the words from his blue lips were still sharp: "Are you sympathizing with me?"

Xue Dingbang seemed to be stabbed in the heart, and Chris Maeda could always find the crux of the problem.Every question he asked was torturing Xue Dingbang's heart, and every question pierced his heart fiercely on the most important question.