perfect out of control

After counting the stars, Yan Fei pushed the wheelchair to the edge of the roof, and accompanied Kong Xinghe to watch the lights of thousands of houses in the city, blowing the summer night wind together.

Sheng Ye suddenly realized what Tan Zhen once said to himself, the difference between film performance and stage performance.There is no wind on the stage. If there is wind element in the play, the actors can only imagine it, but the film performance is different. The actors stand between the sky and the earth. Even if there is no wind element in the play, the wind will join in. It always Into the camera, it will not be superfluous, it will make everything more real and more natural, the play is fake, but the wind is real, it will give you a sense of belief.When Leonardo and Kate Winslet spread their arms on the prow of the giant ship, they must have been really excited.

Just like now, for the first time, he feels that winds are alive. They are born at a certain moment, as a gentle breeze, grand at a certain moment, making a whistling cry, and calm down on a certain rooftop at a certain moment, the last time Flick someone's hair.

Thinking about it this way, death doesn't seem so scary anymore, life is like the wind, it will blow up suddenly for no reason, and it will stop suddenly for no reason.

There is nothing terrible about death. What is terrible is actually leaving, which is never coming back after leaving.

Kong Xinghe stared at the railing of the roof, and suddenly asked Yan Fei: "Brother, can I sit on it?"

He didn't dare to look at Yan Fei's expression until Yan Fei went around the wheelchair and walked up to him, briefly blocking the scenery in front of him, then bent down and hugged him silently.

He was carefully placed on the edge of the roof by Yan Fei. Yan Fei stood in front of him, with his hands on his side, wrapping him so close in his arms to prevent him from falling.

His lower body was almost unconscious, and this feeling became a bit strange, he couldn't feel that he was sitting on the edge of the roof, he was like a falcon, hovering in mid-air, Yan Fei in front of him, just Like an eagle larger than a falcon, it spread its wings against the strong wind.

He was a little surprised: "I thought you wouldn't agree..."

Yan Fei looked down at his legs and said, "You won't dangle now, and I'm not worried that you will fall."

Kong Xinghe smiled: "Why are you always worried that I will fall?"

"...I don't know." Yan Fei said, "Maybe because you are too courageous sometimes."

"Am I brave?" Kong Xinghe looked confused.

"You don't even know how to swim and you can go into the river to save people. Are you timid?"

Kong Xinghe looked carefully at Yan Fei's expression: "Are you still angry about that?"

Yan Fei asked him: "If you knew you would die, would you still do it?"

"It's definitely not going to happen," Kong Xinghe recalled, "but I couldn't think so much at that time, the girl's voice almost disappeared, and I was afraid that she would drown." He laughed abruptly, "Now I think about it. Wake up, I was lucky that day."

Yan Fei stopped talking.

Kong Xinghe whispered: "I'm sorry brother, I made you worry."

Yan Fei lowered his head, raised it again, looked into the distance, and said, "It's all over."

Yan Fei said "it's over", and Kong Xinghe realized that it hadn't passed in Yan Fei's heart for a long time. At that time, they even had a cold war about it. He felt that he had done nothing wrong. He acted so bravely that he even coldly beat him up and didn't say a word to him for several days.He couldn't hold back, pinned Yan Fei at the door, raised his head and said: "What are you doing! If you want to scold me, you can scold me, if you want to beat me, beat me, can you just stop talking?!" Yan Fei pushed him away directly, That push made him stagger, and he had to lean on the wall to stand still, and he realized that Yan Fei was not polite to him this time. He watched Yan Fei go all the way to the end of the corridor with red eyes, then suddenly stopped and turned around. Turning around to him, he said harshly: "Kong Xinghe, I won't scold you or beat you up. My surname is Yan, and your surname is Kong. I don't have the qualifications!"

That should be the most ruthless thing Yan Fei ever said to him, and he was completely taken aback. He only heard that Yan Fei was clearing up the relationship between them, and that stepped on his deathbed, so in the end he gave in and admitted his mistake Now, even though I don't know why things have become so serious.

Until today, when he was plagued by illness, he understood what Yan Fei was afraid of.There is no more serious matter in this world than that, why didn't I understand it at that time?

There were lively and intertwined human voices downstairs, from the old people walking, and the children brought out by their parents to enjoy the shade. Kong Xinghe looked back downstairs, and he was more and more reluctant to part with such fireworks: "When did this building end?" tear it down?"

Yan Fei said: "It doesn't matter if it is not demolished, maybe this building will never wait until the day it is demolished."

Although they were so close, their eyes were staggered. Kong Xinghe looked at Yan Fei, but Yan Fei didn't look at him, but just looked at the distant scenery, talking nonsense.

Kong Xinghe looked at Yan Fei who couldn't catch him like the wind, his throat rolled, and he said in a low voice, "Brother, can I ask you a question?"

Yan Fei cast a brief glance: "You ask."

Sheng Ye looked at Tan Zhen and imagined that Kong Xinghe was looking at Yan Fei like this. Would Kong Xinghe feel that Yan Fei seemed to know everything?Because Tan Zhen knows all the questions he will ask next, he has no secrets in front of Tan Zhen. Maybe this kind of extra-dramatic arrangement becomes a fateful perspective in the camera.Kong Xinghe would feel that Yan Fei knew everything, just like God knew what he wanted to pray to him before humans even opened their mouths.

"Actually...you don't need to worry about me at all," Kong Xinghe said, "Mother abandoned you, leaving you alone and being abused by your father. If you don't come to me, I don't even know that I have an older brother." , even if I find out later, I will understand that you don't come to me, because you must have had a much harder life than mine when you were a child. So why did you come?"

Yan Fei was silent for a while, and said, "I don't know, I just want to see you."

But he didn't look at Kong Xinghe when he said this.

Kong Xinghe actually remembered that day was one month away from his 14th birthday, more than two years ago, he was already used to life in the orphanage, and he was looking forward to the day next month when the aunts would eat a dog for him. He prepared a small cake, and that day he was sitting with all the children having lunch, when he looked up, he suddenly saw a tall and handsome boy standing outside the window, and the eyes of the two collided.

At that time, he didn't know Yan Fei yet, and he didn't know why this boy appeared here. He just vaguely felt that the gaze was projected on him, so he gave him a shy smile that was hard to recognize.

"Then why did you take me away?" Kong Xinghe asked.

"I think maybe you, like me, want a relative."

If there wasn't that stare, would Yan Fei take him away? Probably not, but that look seemed destined.They are destined to see each other.

This time Yan Fei's eyes finally looked at him, and all his eyes fell on Kong Xinghe by the rooftop. Sheng Ye couldn't help but burst into tears, and he said: "When you took me away from the orphanage , hold my hand and cross the road, I am really afraid that you will suddenly let go of my hand and run away alone."

"I know," Yan Fei said, "you pull me very tightly."

Tears rolled down the corners of Kong Xinghe's eyes: "You didn't let go of my hand, from that day on you were my whole world."

Yan Fei pursed his lips tightly and looked at him, and heard the huge roar of a night flight flying across the sky of the world.

Kong Xinghe's lips trembled, and he said, "But I have been your burden since childhood..."

"It's not like that, Kong Xinghe," Yan Fei lowered his voice, frowning seriously, "You are very important to me. It's true."

Kong Xinghe took a deep breath and shook his head: "Actually, without me, you would be better off."

"Kong Xinghe, I have been in the juvenile detention center, and I have given up on myself. Later they told me that I have a younger brother. When I saw you, you called me brother. Your eyes were full of emotion. Let me know that in this world There is a person who wants to rely on me, he can’t live without me, so I didn’t give up on myself, I want you to be fed and clothed, I want you to be happy, Kong Xinghe, you have become the driving force for my life, do you understand? "

After Tan Zhen finished speaking the last line of the day, everything else was silent.There was a long period of silence on the rooftop, and Shengye even heard Tan Zhen's breathing, which reminded him of cicadas singing, as if they were equally passionate existences.Until the mediator shouted: "CUT."

In a trance, he saw that Tan Zhen didn't seem to be able to control it, his eyelashes trembled, and tears still slid down at the last second.

Although the audience will not see this tear, the scene of the water in Tan Zhen's eyes is deeply imprinted in Sheng Ye's mind.