perfect out of control

It was already eight o'clock in the evening when Tan Zhen finished filming, and before he had time to eat, he saw the address that Xia Qian had sent him when he got into the nanny's car.

It has been more than two hours since Xia Qian sent a WeChat message, and he replied: Is it convenient now?

After a while, Xia Qian replied.

Your sister: It’s convenient, my sister is a homeless person.

Tan Zhen put on his mobile phone and asked Xiao Liu to drive back to the company parking lot to pick up the car.

At [-]:[-] in the evening, he drove the black BMW to the agreed place, only to find that it was a hospice.

The neighborhood was very deserted, there were not many cars on the road, and there were few pedestrians on the sidewalk. Tan Zhen saw the people waiting for him at the side of the road at a glance.Xia Qian was dressed in a long black down jacket wrapped from head to toe, and her hat was pulled up to cover her head. Standing under the street lamp, she waved at him with a cigarette in her mouth.If she hadn't been standing alone by the side of the road, Tan Zhen would hardly have recognized her.

The BMW pulled over and stopped. Xia Qian turned out her cigarette on the trash can, walked over and opened the door, and put on her seat belt: "Let's go, I'll take you to the parking lot."

The street lamps and car lights illuminated the sleet outside, perhaps because there were too few cars on the road, and there was only "ash" falling down one after another. There was a sense of haze, and the two people in the car did not speak.Tan Zhen followed Xia Qian's guidance to the parking lot and got out of the car. He looked up at the quiet nursing home and asked with a complicated mood, "Why did you make an appointment here?"

Xia Qian closed the car door: "Didn't you tell me to explain clearly to the people around me?"

Tan Zhen was dumbfounded for a while, but Xia Qian didn't care. She glanced back at him and laughed: "What's wrong, a nursing home hit you, you are so fragile, Actor Tan!"

Tan Zhen sighed helplessly: "Can you call me Tan Zhen?"

"Okay, okay, I can still call you little brother." Xia Qian put her hands in her pockets and walked forward cheerfully.

Tan Zhen glanced at her overly chic back, locked the car, and followed behind resignedly.

The conditions of this hospice looked very good. Once you walked in, it was warm and bright, like two worlds inside and outside.Xia Qian pressed the elevator, crossed her arms and said, "But to be honest, I think that instead of explaining to the people around you over and over again, it's better to let the people in your family help you with the match... Oh, that's not right," she tilted. She turned her head and thought for a while, "I'm not a man, I should be called a messy mandarin duck." She turned her head and smiled at Tan Zhen.

Tan Zhen also smiled, tiredly and enviously.

A few minutes later, he saw Xia Qian's grandmother on the hospital bed, through the glass door of the ward.

Xia Qian was about to open the door and go in, but Tan Zhen held her back and whispered, "You still smell of cigarettes."

Xia Qian thought it was funny that he was frowning frowning, she smiled and ignored him, and pushed open the door.

The door opened, and voices from inside came out. Tan Zhen saw the old man leaning on the bed muttering unhappily to the nurse: "This is not delicious, it's tasteless!"

The nurse cleaned up the cold dinner and said in a good-tempered manner: "You can't eat strong flavor now, you should eat light."

The old lady spoke convincingly: "If I want to eat food with strong taste, it means that my body needs it. Besides, people can't even eat what they like to eat in this world. What's the point of living?"

The nurse couldn't speak to her and cast a helpless look at Xia Qian. Tan Zhen stood outside the door and didn't go in until the nurse packed up her things and left.

Xia Qian walked over and leaned over to hug her grandma, sat down by the bed, and trimmed the old lady's hair: "It's okay, tell me what you want to eat, and I'll bring it back for you later."

Tan Zhen didn't bother them talking, and waited for a while before walking in quietly. Grandma turned her head and saw him, recognized him immediately, widened her eyes in surprise and said, "Ah, is he that movie star?!"

"Yes," Xia Qian said, beckoning to Tan Zhen like a buddy, "Come here dear."

Tan Zhen was speechless, he had almost guessed Xia Qian's intention for bringing him here, so he could only walk over without saying a word.

"Grandma, I'm Tan Zhen."

The old man carefully looked outside the door, for fear that others would notice that there was a big star hidden here, then nodded in a low voice: "I know, I know, I have watched your TV series, and you are more handsome in real life than on TV!"

Then I heard Xia Qian startlingly say: "Lily, he is my fiance."

Even under such a sudden attack, Tan Zhen still controlled his expression, only froze for a second, without losing his composure.

Lily looked at Tan Zhen with a smile and asked, "Really?"

Tan Zhen nodded reluctantly, thinking that this was just to satisfy the old man's wish, so let's admit it for now.

Unexpectedly, Lily and Xia Qian laughed together, Lily hit Xia Qian's arm and said, "You are bullying again!"

Xia Qian gestured to the chair beside her, and said to Tan Zhen, "Sit down, big star, my grandma really likes you."

Tan Zhen was confused by the grandparent and granddaughter, and even sat down nervously.

Xia Qian asked Lily: "Is he very funny? Just like a child."

"You're just like a child," Lily rolled her eyes at Xia Qian, and said to Tan Zhen, "I'm sorry, she's been like this since she was a child, don't worry about her, thank you for coming to see me!"

Tan Zhen looked a little embarrassed: "Don't say that, I was negligent, I came here in a hurry today, and I didn't bring any gifts..."

Xia Qian laughed: "Okay, I tricked you into coming here, you didn't even know you were going to come here, so why are you modest?"

Tan Zhen opened his eyes wide and looked at Xia Qian, wondering why you should disappoint your grandma by saying that?

But Lily didn't seem to care: "I just heard her say that you asked her to be a cello consultant, and I casually told her to ask her to invite you someday. I didn't expect to see a real person! Oh, yes," Talking about sitting up, Tan Zhen immediately got up and stepped forward to support her, his movements were faster than Xia Qian, seeing Lily was going to get the mobile phone from the bedside table, he held it up and asked him with a smile, "Can I take a photo with you? "

The three of them took a group photo together, and Tan Zhen took two separate photos for Lily and Xia Qian, and returned the phone to the old man after taking the photos, and said apologetically, "I didn't take the photos very well..."

Lily is holding the mobile phone in her hand, flipping through the photos, with a satisfied smile on her face, the wrinkles on her face are deepened by the smile, but it is very lively, just like in the photo, she has white hair, like the name Lily, in a bunch old lily.

Lily asked Xia Qian: "Can this be printed?"

"Okay, I'll print it out and frame it for you!"

Tan Zhen thought, the framed frame was actually reserved for Xia Qian in the end. He saw a gleam of water in Xia Qian's smiling eyes, although it was fleeting.

After that, he drove Xia Qian to buy Lily's favorite fried chicken.

"Has your grandmother ever lived abroad?" Tan Zhen asked in the car.

"No, I went abroad to study and got an English name. She knew and wanted one, so I picked one for her." Xia Qian said.

Tan Zhen didn't expect this to happen, and didn't even know if Xia Qian was teasing him.

Xia Qian got off the car and went to KFC to buy fried chicken drumsticks. Tan Zhen was a little worried and asked, "Can she eat it?"

Xia Qian closed the car door with a "bang", flicked her long hair, and said, "No, so what?"

Tan Zhen remembered what Lily had said to the nurse in the ward, and started the car without saying anything.Who knows how many times Lily can eat fried chicken drumsticks again, it seems like a meaningless question.

Xia Qian ate the French fries by herself, and said, "Didn't you ask me to explain to the people around me? She is the only one around me." She pouted as she said, "Do you think it's ironic, you think you need to talk to the people around you?" People can explain it, but the person who really understands you and loves you doesn't need your explanation at all."

Tan Zhen thought that he guessed right, Lily knew Xia Qian's sexuality, and maybe she was used to the smell of cigarettes on Xia Qian's body.

Lily is 84 years old. She was born and grew up in a much more conservative and difficult era than theirs, but she can tolerate Xia Qian like this. People are so different.

He remembered Xia Qian saying that he only had grandma by his side, and suddenly he was a little puzzled. He remembered meeting Xia Qian's father several times during the parent-teacher meeting in high school.

"Actually, I still have a father." Xia Qian suddenly said as if seeing what Tan Zhen was thinking.

Tan Zhen didn't ask any further questions, fearing that he might find something sad.

Unexpectedly, Xia Qian took the initiative to say: "However, my dad and I haven't seen each other for many years. It's the same with him or without him. If you don't think about it deliberately, you can't think of him."

Tan Zhen was a little shocked, but didn't show it.

"My dad is a pianist. I remember him as an artist all day long. He is at least ten times stricter than my cello teachers. He is impersonal. Just looking for someone on the street is more like him." My father." Xia Qian ate French fries, and laughed as she spoke, "I remember one time when I had a fever and didn't want to learn the piano, he even scolded me for dying for such a minor illness. A man? Isn’t it funny? It sounds ridiculous now, but at that time I was scolded by him for being stupid, and I didn’t dare to refute him. When I was young, my mother divorced him and I blamed my mother. Later, I understood everything. There is only the piano in life, without my mother, and my mother did not want me. She fought for it, but she had no job at the time. My father said that he wanted to train me to be a performer. Who would not be moved by this, so I was It was awarded to my dad. When I was in high school, I thought, one day, when I become famous, I will come out in front of the whole world and show my dad. Didn’t he make me look like a man? I like women now , enough for a man." Her tone was filled with vengeance, "I just want him to pay for that sentence."

Tan Zhen drove the car silently, not knowing how to comment.

Xia Qian looked out of the window for a while: "I'm considered successful now, but in the end, I didn't dare to do anything. I can only think about things that are cool to think of. In the end, I can tell the whole world if I become famous. The cabinet, the 'gong' and the 'name' don't exist at all. The more you achieve, the less free you are. Instead, he won. He made me fall in love with classical music and the cello. I can't abandon me. There is no way I would come out in public because of my career.”

This confession ended with a shallow sigh.At the end of the road, the blurred outline of the nursing home was about to be seen.

Xia Qian didn't know why she said so much to Tan Zhen. These were not what she intended to say to him. Maybe when a person wants to gain the trust of others, he can't help but betray himself.She looked at the lonely building standing behind the snowstorm, and hugged the fried chicken legs tightly in her arms, hoping that they were still warm and not cold: "So I think it's good to have Lily with me in this world."

Tan Zhen recalled the old lady's childlike smile when she faced Xia Qian, and said, "You are very happy."

"Please, I have a perverted father, so I am happy?" Xia Qian laughed, fell back on the back of the chair, and looked sideways at Tan Zhen, "Then how unhappy are you? ?”

Tan Zhen looked at the windshield, blinked almost imperceptibly, and his Adam's apple sank.

Xia Qian sat up and asked, "Do you know why I haven't liked you since high school?"

Tan Zhen shook his head slowly: "I don't know."

"You see, when people are asked this way, they will definitely ask why, but you don't even ask why, you just don't want to make anyone unhappy, you don't want to make the atmosphere awkward, you want to take care of everyone's emotions, but you can't do anything Arrived." Xia Qian glanced at him, "That's why I don't like you. I've always thought you're hypocritical. In order to make people like you, you try to be perfect in everything, but you're obviously not perfect, which makes you look It's fake and pathetic."

Tan Zhen pursed his lips. He had seen all kinds of malicious comments about him on the Internet, but he heard it so straightforwardly, or from the people around him, that it was so unspeakable.

"But then I saw your family members, and I understood you a little bit," Xia Qian said, "If Lily was afraid that I was Les, would I dare to confess to her and provoke her? Then I thought, Lily can't Afraid that I am les, even if I am a criminal, Lily will treat me well and protect me from the wind and rain. It is because she treats me so that I love her, and it is because my dad treats me so that I hate him. Tan Zhen , you know what your problem is, you really love a home you should hate."

enough.Tan Zhen closed her eyes forcefully, and interrupted her heavily: "Stop talking." Then he whispered, "You don't understand."

"You don't even dare to hate, I don't know what you are thinking." Xia Qian snorted coldly, "Since they want to see you tied up with a certain woman so much, then let them do it, and you can't do it." All of them, but not with the person you like, you miss him, and avoid him, I will give you an analysis, you can't complete your family, because you have another love, and you don't want to hurt the innocent You don’t want to let down the one you love, but you’re afraid that your mother won’t be able to bear it, and that your family, which seems to be perfect, will fall apart. No matter how much you love you, you can only give up. So are you going to die alone? Tan Zhen, or Escaping into Buddhism? Have you ever thought that the person you like can't wait for you forever, or do you all want to die alone? " The more she spoke, the more angry she became, and the more she spoke, the more exaggerated her tone was, Tan Zhen's expression made her She noticed it, and didn't plan to bother, she wanted to let herself feel better first, "Or do you mean that your parents and your family will be killed, and when you are seventy or eighty, you can finally spend the last time of your life together? Then why do you have to Do we want to separate now? Why don’t we endure it? It’s really embarrassing for me to help you. Tan Zhen, I’m serious,” she sat up, faced Tan Zhen, and expressed her selfishness, “We can each get what we need, so that your father Mom won't hinder you any more, and you won't be forced to go on endless blind dates, and you don't have to worry about your relationship being exposed and ruining you."

Tan Zhen remained silent the entire time, his face sinking like water.

Xia Qian shrugged her shoulders: "I'm sorry, my words were a little rough, I just don't think you need to be like this. Of course, I also have selfish intentions, I'm not a person like you, I'm too lazy to participate in things that don't benefit, " Speaking of this, he snorted self-deprecatingly, "Why do I feel so guilty for saying these things to you?"

It's a guilty conscience, she thought, no matter how much she looked down on Tan Zhen, she knew very well in her heart that every time she faced Tan Zhen, the one who felt ashamed was herself.

"And then?" Tan Zhen finally opened his mouth, frowning, "Do I want to be engaged or married to you in the future? Xia Qian, can you be more mature?"

"We don't need to get married. We all have reasons and careers anyway. Your mother just wants a psychological comfort, so give it to her."

Tan Zhen said: "You asked me to cooperate with you, do you know why I broke up with him?

Xia Qian raised her eyebrows: "Why?" Isn't it because of your family members?

Tan Zhen said: "Because I made him uncomfortable." He stopped the car and turned to Xia Qian, "I can't walk on the road hand in hand with him, I can't talk to him if I have something to say, I can't introduce him to others as me Lovers, we can't get other people's blessings."

Xia Qian looked into his eyes, the headlights were still on, illuminating the rain and snow, the car lost speed, and the wind and snow outside suddenly became thick and heavy. It was the first time she saw the wind and snow in Tan Zhen's eyes. general mood.She sat up and said seriously, "I, I'm here to bless you."

Tan Zhen was taken aback.

Xia Qian said, "Bring him to me and introduce him as your lover."

Tan Zhen opened his mouth slightly, and a surge of heat surged in his chest, which made him speechless.

He suddenly thought of the taxi driver who took Kong Xinghe to the beach, then thought of Kong Xinghe, and remembered the confession that Shengye dared to tell the world in the name of Kong Xinghe.

"Thanks," he said, "but that's not what I want."