a certain Zheng Kexin

Zheng Kexin explained Sheng Yunming's affairs clearly, and began to explain herself. She called "Grandma" all night against her will, and finally let out a smooth breath when she called out the three words "Sheng Yunming".

"In the third day of junior high school, it was the first day when Qiao Yuan took us to skip school. I don't remember why I had an argument with Sheng Yunming." Zheng Kexin paid attention to his wording, and didn't want to use emotional words to make himself look like he was selling miserably. So she summed up her mood swings in two or three sentences in a down-to-earth manner, "We have quarreled twice, once in junior high school and once in high school. I can't stand the qualitative change."

Xu Niannian listened to her quietly.

"Then I stopped talking to her, and then... every now and then I wanted to kill her."

Zheng Kexin originally thought that when she said these things, she would feel uneasy because she was worried about Xu Niannian's attitude, but she didn't. Speaking out her true thoughts gave her a relaxed sense of security.

"Planned many times, wrote a whole book, many times almost did it, thinking that it is not difficult to pretend to be an accident, even if caught, minors will not be sentenced to death, and the death penalty is not unacceptable— —Perhaps when people were in their teens, there was a period of "glorious years" when they were not afraid of death."

She paused and smiled.

After thinking about it, it’s gone, that’s all.

The so-called family affairs that are constantly being cut and messed up are not more than a few words. These days are like leaving home suitcases.

She said something heavy and heartbreaking, and subconsciously didn't want the atmosphere to be so silent, so she casually said something light and joking: "Qiao Yuan made a fuss about jumping off a building in order to go to Huashi before. The second illness is serious, and when he challenged his father, he always said that he would be a good man again in 18 years."

Thanks to Qiao Yuan, who had a very high appearance rate tonight, Xu Niannian finally breathed a sigh of relief following the tense Xu Niannian, but she seemed to have watched a depressing movie, and she didn't know what to respond for a while, and the hand on Zheng Kexin's arm didn't move .

The light in the room was very dark, Zheng Kexin confessed happily, and only after finishing speaking in one breath did she remember Xu Niannian's endurance, and shouted uncertainly: "Niannian."

Xu Niannian knows Zheng Kexin's personality that everything is pressed in her heart, and the situation she summed up in a few words lightly is unacceptable. Thinking about it carefully, how she survived 360 days a year and a year.

Seeing that she hadn't spoken, Zheng Kexin panicked, and called out again: "Nian Nian."

Xu Niannian was sobered up by the cry, and quickly asked: "Then can't we send her to a nursing home, or a mental hospital, and live with you all the time? What about your family life, what about you, and your parents? I mean...is there no other solution?"

Zheng Kexin looked at her quietly.

Zheng Kexin originally thought that according to Xu Niannian's personality, she would be as upright and upright as others in housework, so she would comfort her by saying something that would go well, or be afraid of her own evil thoughts, and tell herself not to do stupid things, but she never expected that she would say that , It will be such an "unfilial" call.

This is not like Xu Niannian in her impression.

Zheng Kexin answered her question first: "Lincheng is not a city, so there are so many nursing homes, there are mental hospitals, but strictly speaking, she is only demented, has no ability to hurt people, and mental hospitals will not accept her. Besides, my mother won't agree to it."

After saying this, she asked tentatively: "Do you think I...is too much, she is my grandma after all."

Xu Niannian rubbed her arm and shook her head.

Zheng Kexin: "Aren't you afraid?"

Xu Niannian asked, "What are you afraid of?"

"That's right." Zheng Kexin smiled softly, "I would like to kill people, not just for fun, but seriously."

"There are too many people who want to kill people." Xu Niannian shook his head, "You just told the story, there is nothing to be afraid of."

Zheng Kexin was taken aback. In her impression, Xu Niannian never said harsh words, and when she got angry, she just clenched her fists. I'm afraid she has never scolded anyone in her life, let alone the monstrous hatred in her heart. The "reasonable" understanding seems to have misunderstood Ning Zhi's lines, Zheng Kexin didn't realize it, and heard her say it again.

"Just like me, I also had people I wanted to kill."

Zheng Kexin murmured: "You...you won't..."

Then she shook her head: "It's different, what I want to kill is not the villain in the TV series, but a real person,... or my relatives."

Xu Niannian answered quickly, "I once wanted to kill my grandma when I was very young."

Without waiting for Zheng Kexin to ask questions, Xu Niannian continued: "My mother is five years older than my father, and she and my father are siblings. They were at that age... In short, my grandparents disagree, and my parents also agree. I did a lot of stupid things, and when my mother became pregnant, my grandma heard that it was a girl and forced my mother to have an abortion...it was my father who protected me."

Zheng Kexin shook her hand: "Huh?"

"I just said that she doesn't like my mother and me, and I don't like her either." Xu Niannian understood what Zheng Kexin meant, and continued before she could finish asking, "My parents are both doctors and busy with work, so they always can't take care of me. Me, my dad bought a puppy to accompany me, and later in the year of SARS, my grandma insisted that the puppy was not clean, and threw the puppy from upstairs while I was not paying attention, and fell to death."

How old was Xu Niannian at that time, seven years old?eight years old?First grade or second grade?Children are greedy for companionship, which is the age when they regard small animals as friends.

Xu Niannian asked calmly: "Should I not be angry, shouldn't I hate her, is there anything wrong in hating her?"

Zheng Kexin was speechless.

She seldom listens to gossip, except for Xiao Xu, who is in the same boat, she only knows about the families of three friends around her from beginning to end. Zheng Kexin felt envious of the growing environment where he was always carrying a stick. She thought that the fight between father and son might be a way of emotional communication between men.

This is probably the same mentality as parents always feel that other people's children are good.

She regards the difficult family affairs of her own family as the only one in the world, only she is struggling to survive, only she is gritting her teeth, and now she realizes... Maybe it's because she knows too few samples.

Xu Niannian said: "It's normal to love someone, and it's also normal to hate someone. Behavior is right or wrong, but there is no right or wrong in feelings. Moreover, wanting to kill is not the same as being able to kill."

As soon as this conclusion came out, all that Zheng Kexin kept in her heart that she couldn't tell others became commonplace, and Xu Niannian tolerated her in a way that she couldn't even imagine.

The two started arguing when they got home. They talked non-stop for hours, and then casually chatted a few gossips. Xu Niannian's voice slowly dropped, forgetting where the conversation was going, and who said the last sentence. , she held Zheng Kexin's arm and paused for a while, then suddenly turned over and rolled towards the wall.

Zheng Kexin opened her eyes, knowing that she was asleep.

She thought about the two unfinished notebooks placed by the wall, and for fear of Xu Niannian bumping her head, she lightly tried to turn over the person whose back was facing her.

Xu Niannian is 1.6 meters 10 tall, ribs are not potatoes, which is so easy to manipulate, Zheng Kexin lay half-lying and didn't know how to use his strength, and was afraid that the noise would wake him up, so he tossed and tossed carefully for [-] minutes, kicked the quilt or made a mess I was sweating.

Fortunately, Xu Niannian has developed a good habit of rolling around since she was a child, and now she is more relaxed when she returns to her own bed. After Zheng Kexin fiddled with her for a long time, she finally turned her shoulders at a small angle of [-] degrees. Xu Niannian's balance was broken, Rolled over in that thirty-degree direction, and crashed into Zheng Ke's arms.

Zheng Ke was afraid that she would be uncomfortable, so he didn't dare to get too close, leaving a space for her to move freely through the quilt that Xu Niannian was holding in his arms, and then saw that the quilt was all wrapped up in her arms and couldn't cover her shoulders, Fearing that she would be cold, he picked up the quilt that he had kicked to the bottom of his feet to cover the two of them, then stretched out his arms to cover Xu Niannian's back, not wanting her to roll back again.

After finishing all this work, Zheng Kexin got up slowly and kissed her on the forehead.

There are many things that I can't understand and can't learn, and suddenly I can learn them without a teacher.

Then she maintained this posture and started counting the sheep. After counting the sheep, she counted the grass, and after counting the grass, she counted the fur of Big Big Wolf. She didn't know if she counted for an hour or two hours, but she still didn't fall asleep.

Her ability to sleep with her eyes closed disappeared without her knowing it.

Xu Niannian was blocked by the hand behind him, turned over twice without turning over, subconsciously thought that he had hit a wall, moved in the opposite direction to Zheng Kexin's arms, and finally stopped moving. Xu Niannian ran away after getting up, but she still didn't get up.

The dizzying joy during the day for no reason quieted down at night, Zheng Kexin's inexplicable excitement passed away, and he woke up listening to the sound of breathing amplified by the darkness.

She remembered what Xu Niannian said at the end - she can accept the same kind of hate, so can she accept the same kind of love?Accept girls, like girls.

Even lying together Zheng Kexin still felt uneasy, she unconsciously moved the arm that was used as a barrier closer, and pressed the back of her hand against Xu Niannian's hair.

Previously, she pointed out that Jiangshan didn't know what back pain was, and she thought about being tempted in an ideal and simple way. She always felt that those boys should give up if she made it clear, and she just couldn't think about it if she continued to pester her.

She didn't know until she was on her body that she really couldn't think about it. She liked Xu Niannian and it wasn't her own business. She needed Xu Niannian's response.

Not now, they are not yet of age, they have not yet graduated, what about after that.

after?

As in the TV series, you have to go to the same university first, and then you have to go to the same city if you can't graduate.

Zheng Kexin thought of this, and thought of Xu Niannian's fluctuating English scores. She wished she could be dragged up to do the test right now. After a second of hardening, she couldn't help but think that even if Xu Niannian didn't do well in the exam, it doesn't matter if the two of them are not in the same city. Run a few more times and see her when you have nothing to do.

She stared at the ceiling above her head, and took a closer look at the small house. Before moving here, Zheng Kexin's only wish was to be admitted to university and leave Lincheng. Unexpectedly, a few months later, before her wish was about to come true, she had no idea about the importance of the third year of high school. Press life with nostalgia.

It was one of the best days she had ever lived.

She thought, if the two of them can stay together all the time, they can go to the third year of high school.

This idea is nonsense, it belongs to a beautiful daydream, she thought about it and then took it all away.

In the long journey of decades of life, Zheng Kexin put aside the distant and the present, and with the instinct of seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages, imagined a period of time when they went to college together. It is best that the campus is not too big, so that it is more convenient to meet, and the cafeteria It can be hard to eat, anyway, Xu Niannian can do anything, if Xu Niannian is willing, the two of them can move out, when the college entrance examination is over, Xu Niannian doesn't have to watch hypnotic movies anymore, the two of them can lean on the sofa and watch some while eating hot pot like.

She wants to copy and paste her current life infinitely, and she wants to be with Xu Niannian forever.

Apart from the university where he could dream, Zheng Kexin couldn't think of a further future, nor could he push the timeline forward to think about Xu Niannian's attitude.

She just created a dream for herself in a waking state like a child transforming into Ultraman to fight monsters.

Ignore the obstacles for the time being, and think in the right direction in everything, anyway, they are together right now.

Zheng Kexin had never had someone she liked before, and she couldn't figure out any problems in her mind, and she didn't care whether the ideas could be realized or not. She had a meeting in her mind and didn't understand anything, but she thought inexplicably in a good mood: "Let's do this first, If you can't sleep, you can't sleep, and she will get up and make breakfast when the sun rises."

As soon as this idea came out, her rebellious body immediately fell asleep, her eyelids twitched for a while, and she raised the white chess in a friendly and harmonious manner.

When I opened my eyes again, the smell of spicy pot was already wafting from the kitchen.

Xu Niannian got up early in the morning and went downstairs to buy the bacon and bamboo shoots that Zheng Kexin wanted to eat. Seeing that Zheng Kexin was fast asleep, she didn't call her, so she went to Zheng Kexin's room with her schoolbag to finish her homework.

Spicy hot pot is easy to make, and the ingredients are all prepared. Xu Niannian made the rice in advance, and lunch was ready at 11:30. He was about to wake up the lazy insect when he saw Zheng Kexin yawning and leaving the room come out.

Xu Niannian threw down the shovel and pushed her to take a wash, muttering to herself because of the smell of spicy hot pot, "You can really sleep, what dream did you sleep for so long?"

Zheng Kexin picked up Xu Niannian's facial cleanser and wiped off his face before remembering.

She dreamed that the two of them became old ladies, about 70 to [-] years old, half of their hair was gray but their teeth were still good. I ordered takeaway, but the breakfast remained the same. I also ate a sandwich, a slice of bread and a fried egg, with a slice of cheese in the middle, without ham and cucumber.

It's still an old recipe, and I haven't gotten tired of eating it for so many years.

A period of mindless, no cause and no consequence, this life just passed by.

Zheng Kexin poked her own face in the mirror, smiled brightly, and said to herself, "It's a good dream."

The author has something to say: Thinking of this, Zheng Kexin also thought of Xu Niannian's ups and downs in English. She wished she could be dragged up to do the test right now. After a second of hard work, she couldn't help but think that even if Xu Niannian didn't do well in the exam, the two of them are not together. There is nothing wrong with the city, the big deal is that I run a few more times and see her when I have nothing to do.

She wants to copy and paste her current life infinitely, and she wants to be with Xu Niannian forever.

She dreamed that the two of them became old ladies, about 70 to [-] years old, half of their hair was gray but their teeth were still good. I ordered takeaway, but the breakfast remained the same. I also ate a sandwich, a slice of bread and a fried egg, with a slice of cheese in the middle, without ham and cucumber.

This life has passed like this.

(It’s really, really, really, really, really good. This is probably the warmest couple I’ve ever written in my life. Although there are still decades left in the rest of my life, it’s really great.)