a certain Zheng Kexin

I have a lot of nightmares, and sometimes I have some good dreams.

In the dream, Zheng Kexin was still in the small courtyard before moving. There were many bungalows. In summer, Zheng Kexin couldn't sleep, so she wandered from one room to another. Ten years ago, the air pollution in Lincheng was not as serious as it is now. She lay in bed On the rattan chair in the courtyard, eating ice cream while looking at the sky, you can also see many clear stars and beams of light from the back mountain.

A radio and television transmission tower was built on the top of the mountain behind the urban area, which once became a holy place for residents of Lincheng to check in. At night, two swaying beams of light will be emitted from the top of the tower, which can shine all the way over the small courtyard. At that time, Zheng Ke The heart is too small to understand why a beam of light can shine so far.

So he told Xiao Xu firmly: "Aliens come to my house every night."

Although Zheng Kexin has never seen an alien, but she has seen the light of the alien spaceship, the alien must be nearby.

When I get sleepy, I choose a room to sleep at random. If Su Yingyu can't find her the next morning, she will shout in the yard: "Come out for breakfast!"

Zheng Kexin rubbed his eyes in a daze and came out of the room. When he opened his eyes, he could see his parents, Xiao Xu and Grandma Song. Sheng Yunming stirred the millet porridge and called to her, "Go wash your face and eat, you will be late for school." gone."

In her dream, she has a normal grandmother and a normal life.

The elders of both parents have a pair of skillful hands and can make a lot of new things. Sheng Yunming was warm and hospitable at that time, and she has a completely different face from now. She knows that Grandma Song's life is hard, so she often chats with Grandma Song and does things for the younger generations. Something fresh to eat.

What Sheng Yunming said in the dream was exactly the same as it was more than ten years ago: "We still have to live, and we still have to eat. If there is something unpleasant, there is nothing to do with cooking."

When people are busy, they have no time to be sad.

After school, Zheng Kexin and Xiao Xu stopped at the door, smelling the smell before opening the door, guessing whether today’s dessert is chestnut cake or peach blossom cake, and even more guesses are made during Chinese New Year and festivals. Zongzi comes in various flavors , Tangyuan also has a variety of fillings, and Grandma Song can also make mooncakes. The mooncakes made at home are a hundred times more delicious than those bought outside.

Zheng Kexin and Xiao Xu have the same taste, they both don't eat five kernels.

I also dreamed about the Lantern Festival, and Sheng Yunming and Grandma Song would spend a day making the Lantern Festival, starting from peeling peanuts and frying walnuts, no one would bother.

Zheng Kexin was never afraid of hatred, her hatred was straightforward, naked, and full of joy. She would rather she never remembered Sheng Yunming's goodness than Sheng Yunming was a lunatic from the beginning.

What she is afraid of is love with hatred, and hate with love.

It is precisely because she was living a happy life that she could not accept the suffering now. Many times she looked at the kitchen knife in the kitchen, and what she thought was not how to kill with a knife, but Sheng Yunming used this knife to cut her. watermelon.

Maybe it's what the poem says: I could have endured the darkness if I hadn't seen the sun.

Yet the sun has made my desolation a new desolation.

Grandma Xu was very angry at Zheng Kexin's behavior of coming to play and buying things. The child doesn't make money, so it's too expensive: "You are also the child, what else do you bring when you come to play at home."

Zheng Kexin supported Grandma Xu's back strangely: "It should, I'm sorry to trouble you."

The old man was hard of hearing, and could only see Zheng Kexin opening her mouth, but couldn't hear what she said. She stared blankly at her, Zheng Kexin reacted, and hurriedly shouted: "I'm troubled - you - -"

Grandma Xu gesticulated and said, "What are you talking about? My ears are not good, they don't work well."

Zheng Kexin cleared her throat, raised her voice and yelled again, Grandma Xu finally understood: "No trouble, no trouble, Niannian will bring you here to play, grandma is happy."

Xu Niannian put the birthday cake bought in advance on the dining table, inserted eighteen small candles, went back to the room to search around, and finally found the lighter that grandpa put on the window sill, and helped bring out the prepared meals in the kitchen. Then he came over and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Zheng Kexin smiled: "Talking... It might be a bit difficult to talk - how did you know my birthday, Ning Zhi told you?"

"No, I knew it before." Xu Niannian took apart the milk that Zheng Kexin bought, took out three cans and put them on the dining table, "Didn't the physical realization team be grouped according to constellations in the first year of high school? You are the last Capricorn, I was the first water bottle, I happened to be next to each other, so I remembered it.”

Grandma Xu tremblingly brought out a pot of chicken, and Zheng Kexin hurried to pick it up: "I'll do it, I'll do it."

Grandma Xu couldn't hear it, but she could understand Zheng Kexin's meaning, and shook her head at her: "You can hold it, you can hold it, sit down and eat quickly."

Zheng Kexin turned his head to the side and held Xu Niannian's hand, wanting to ask the old man when the ear problem happened and if it could be cured, but the word "grandma" stuck in Zheng Kexin's throat, Zheng Kexin opened his mouth, but couldn't say it out.

Xu Niannian looked at her strangely: "What's wrong?"

"Huh? It's okay..." Zheng Kexin paused, "I'm a little hungry."

Xu Niannian ordered cakes in advance, and the bakery had just delivered them before they arrived. The old man didn't understand these door-to-door business, and had never seen it before, so he was very excited during the meal, and couldn't stop telling the two children.

Zheng Kexin could tell that she was happy when her granddaughter came to see her.

Xu Niannian asked: "Who opened the door? Is it you or my grandfather?"

The voice of this sentence was a little softer, Grandma Xu couldn't hear clearly, she understood the last two words just by looking at the mouth shape, and nodded: "Your grandpa? Your grandpa has gone to their unit, I told him not to go, don't go, Nian Nian came back at noon, but his unit said that he had to go because of pension matters, don't worry, he will be back in the afternoon."

Xu Niannian smiled at Zheng Kexin, and stopped asking. Zheng Kexin remembered his question just now, lowered his head and pointed to his ear: "Has it always been like this? Is there no way to cure it?"

"It's been like this for a long time. It's an old man's fault. There's nothing to do about it." Xu Niannian pointed to the sausage on the table, "But it's okay, my mother has always been angry with my grandma, and my grandma has also quarreled with my grandma. Listen It’s gone, but An Sheng, don’t listen to what other people say, live your own life, it’s fine—you should try this, it’s delicious, it’s made by my grandma herself.”

Grandma Xu is not used to eating cakes for her birthday, she wanted to cook a bowl of noodles for Zheng Kexin, but Zheng Kexin couldn't eat any more, it took him a long time to explain, Grandma Xu respected the younger generation's ideas, didn't force her, she felt sleepy when she was full, and chatted for a while I went back to the house and took a nap.

Xu Niannian brought up the cake that had been waiting for a long time, Zheng Kexin made a wish and blew out the candles, but couldn't eat it for a while, so she got up and cleared the table with Xu Niannian.

It was cold at this time, and the heating in the kitchen was not enough. Fortunately, the water heater was connected to the water pipes, and the two of them squeezed into the small kitchen to wash the dishes. They didn't feel cold even though their faces were steamed with steam.

Wiping the floor, Xu Niannian put two handfuls of chestnuts in his pocket, then exited the kitchen, took the cake and Zheng Kexin to the living room, grandma Xu has bad ears, so don't worry about being woken up, Xu Niannian put the chestnuts along the edge of the coal stove After walking around, I hugged a blanket from the room, half-lyed on the sofa and turned on the TV.

Zheng Kexin reflexively felt hypnotized when she turned on the TV, and her eyelids began to fight without saying a word. She braced herself to exercise the right of birthday star: "Can we stop watching movies?"

"Okay." Xu Niannian hugged the blanket and moved to the sofa. The old man likes to sit on a hard wooden sofa. Xu Niannian felt uncomfortable lying on it. He went back to the room and hugged a quilt and spread it on it. He asked casually, "What do you want to see?"

Lying on the quilt finally felt a little more comfortable, she immediately felt sleepy when she lay on it, but she was too lazy to get up and go to the pillow again, so she wrapped herself in the blanket and moved a few times to lie on Zheng Kexin's lap.

Zheng Kexin was interrupted by her, and saw the huge cartoon icon in the middle of the screen, and blurted out: "Pleasant Goat."

This afternoon was sunny, cloudless, with a bit of wind, and the sound of crackling chestnuts could be heard from the coal stove from time to time. Before Xu Niannian told Zheng Kexin when the chestnuts were ripe, he looked at the handsome brother who had died countless times and still couldn’t die. Fell asleep.

Zheng Kexin turned down the volume of the TV, reached out and tapped Xu Niannian's face.

Two days ago, the model test issued excellent essays, because the theme was happiness, and six of the ten excellent essays wrote "the years are quiet and beautiful". Xiao Wang asked them if they knew what the next sentence of the years was quiet and beautiful.

Only then did Zheng Kexin know that the next sentence of this sentence is, the world is safe and stable.

Brother Xiaosa was still repeating life and death, Zheng Kexin looked at Xu Niannian and smiled, Xu Niannian made her feel quiet and stable.

Every time she was by Xu Niannian's side, Zheng Kexin would think that life is just like this.Zheng Kexin can imagine what a better life would be like, but she doesn't want it extravagantly.Is being rich and powerful attractive, attractive, but she only wants one Xu Niannian.

Thousands of gold are not exchanged, and ten thousand family wealth is not rare.

The two spent a completely relaxing afternoon in the small courtyard. In the evening, Grandma Xu woke up and sat with Zheng Kexin to watch cartoons.

Old children, old children, the older they get, the more they look like children. Seeing Brother Xiao Sa's death, Grandma Xu said "Ouch" regretfully: "He's dead."

After a while, the egg fragments turned into big fat eggs again. Grandma Xu couldn't hear the sound and could only read the subtitles, but the subtitles were too small, so she couldn't understand the plot, but knowing that Brother Xiaosa was alive again, she immediately clapped her hands happily :"sharp."

She leaned closer and asked Zheng Kexin: "I'm in my third year of high school and I'm about to take the college entrance examination. Which university do you want to go to?"

Knowing that Grandma Xu couldn't hear, Zheng Kexin was still nervous.

She repeated: "University?"

Grandma Xu didn't hear it, but she still looked at Zheng Kexin's mouth and nodded: "University."

Zheng Kexin lowered her eyes, and slowly whispered, "I want to go to the same university as Niannian."

Grandma Xu still said: "Yes, university, which university do you want to go to?"

The old man couldn't hear anything, and the next sentence in the conversation didn't match the previous one. Zheng Kexin's thoughts were all talking to himself.

After a long pause, she opened her mouth slowly, her voice was so soft that it was almost covered by the sound of cracking chestnuts.

"I love Nian Nian, I want to ... and go to school with her," she said.

After blurting out these words, according to instinct, Zheng Kexin suddenly froze and trembled uncontrollably.

This kind of intention is hidden in the heart, and that liking is liking, clean liking, simple liking, liking written in the heart, no need for others to know, just use it to fill yourself.

But once these words were spoken and landed on the mortal world, from the God Realm to the mortal world, they were instantly tainted with smoke and fire.There are many rules and constraints in the mortal world. She likes someone and needs to bring the person she likes to stand in front of the world.

They like to be calm, and they love to be proud. After all, they will walk in the sun after all.

It was many, many days after touching his heart that Zheng Kexin began to think about this subconsciously ignored question.

She likes Xu Niannian, she is gay.

Like to make her feel real, but being gay doesn't exist in the world she lives in.

Grandma Xu still didn't hear what Zheng Kexin said, but she saw that Zheng Kexin's expression became complicated and dazed for a while. Grandma Xu thought about it and felt that she should encourage: "It's okay, you can pass the exam, and you must work hard."

Brother Xiaosha tried his best but failed to kill himself, Big Big Wolf tried his best and failed to eat a sheep, even the most beautiful cartoon may not be able to do the hard work, let alone the difficult world.

Zheng Kexin was so depressed that he slapped Sui Yuejinghao to death on the composition paper in an instant.

She just remembered that the theme of the composition was to imagine happiness, and imagination sounds like a close relative of dreams.

Xu Niannian who had just woken up was motionless, Zheng Kexin's knee was covered with a layer of fluff, which was so soft that it made people sink into it.

She understands Zheng Kexin, Zheng Kexin is not serious, he will not write his emotions on his face, and he will not easily tell outsiders what he thinks, and he has no habit of making jokes. It is precisely because of this that Xu Niannian did not dare to open his eyes. Sit up with your eyes open.

Will Zheng Kexin say this to Ning Zhi or An Ji? Xu Niannian has never heard of it. There are many ways of getting along with girls. Although most of them are more affectionate than boys, it is not surprising to hug and say some boring words. But not all sisters will confess their confession verbally.

Of course there are many people who say I love you casually, but Zheng Kexin obviously doesn't, let alone lowering his voice to his deaf grandma.

Xu Niannian combined the context and remembered that the question in this answer was "Which university do you want to go to", while the previous answer in the confession was "I want to go to the same university as Niannian".

What do you usually say when you make a confession in a school play—"Take a good exam, see you at university."

Wen Yu also said back then - "We're going to the same city."

Zheng Kexin's words, Zheng Kexin's words... It's hard not to think about it.

And the tone of this sentence is the same as the tone when he told himself about the family affairs that night.

This is the truth, seriously.

Xu Niannian suddenly remembered how Zheng Kexin kissed her forehead at the party two days ago, and other girls had kissed her face before, it was normal for everyone to make a fuss and blow kisses, she didn't care at all.

Only now did she slowly realize Zheng Kexin's abnormality and the unexplainable ambiguity in this action.

Xu Niannian asked herself: Zheng Kexin's liking is not between girls and girls, or between friends.

But…but gay?

gay?

Xu Niannian has no sense of reality at all. She and Zheng Kexin feel the same about this word. It is a word that exists in the dictionary outside of Lincheng, and has no intersection with the world they live in.

Xu Niannian's mother studied medicine. Under her mother's teaching, she has a more comprehensive view of some things than other peers. However, even though she knows that homosexuality is not a disease, but a normal emotion, she still can't help it for a while. Not shocked.

This happened so suddenly, just like the episodes of amnesia that frequently appear in TV dramas, everyone has watched it so many times, but if someone loses their memory in real life, they will not believe it at the first time.

In TV dramas, the love between boys and girls is always boys and girls. Although girls often read some sympathetic novels and cartoons among girls, they are all boys and boys, girls and girls. In her unfulfilled life, It is still an unformed word, and there is not even an example that can be described.

Moreover, relying on instinct, girls who like girls should look like boys in appearance. Zheng Kexin is a good-looking girl when she smiles, and she is also a good-looking girl when she is not smiling. How could that be.

Xu Niannian asked herself if she was thinking too much.

Did he start to think wildly because he was frightened by Qi Yao and Wen Yu?

Grandpa Xu Niannian didn't come back until five o'clock in the afternoon. The old man was in good health, told them about their studies, and sent them to the nearby station.

It gets dark early in winter, and along the way, the two of them were silent with their own concerns in mind.

Zheng Kexin woke up from the blind happiness, and asked herself what to do next without a clue.

Xu Niannian was not sure about the authenticity of his guess, and wanted to talk to Zheng Kexin, but he didn't know how to speak.

I don’t know when it snowed outside the window. The New Year is celebrated, and the streets are full of lanterns. People are wandering on the roads without fear of the cold. There are couples and families. Winter is about to pass, and spring seems to be not far away.

A new year and a new beginning, can the endless troubles be buried in the wind and snow of the old year?

In the New Year, people pray to heaven and make wishes, should they always get a gift?

Zheng Kexin turned her head and suddenly remembered that today is the last day of this year.

"Happy New Year," she said.

There are people setting off fireworks on the far, far horizon. Lin Cheng issued a ban. People can only watch the joy in the distance. There is one in the south and one in the north. The two fireworks have to jump high in the sky to see each other.

Then it dissipated quickly.

Xu Niannian: "Well, Happy New Year."

The author has something to say: So he told Xiao Xu firmly: "Aliens come to my house every night." ——Xiao Zheng Kexin is so cute and cute today's double update (the author who said adding more is very casual).

An ad for the completed "Confession Letter" is also the story of Lin Cheng, bg, the boy is An Ji's younger brother, and the girl is Zheng Kexin's younger sister who grew up with him. (If you don't accept bg and think I'm farting)

Happy Tanabata everyone, yeah.