a certain Zheng Kexin

The last time there was a very young waiter standing at the door of the restaurant, she looked a few years older than Zheng Kexin, the little girl had sharp eyes, and she recognized that she was a regular customer from a distance, the older sister greeted Gao Qinger shortly The person entered the door, heard Gao Qing said that he wanted a quiet seat, and specially opened a private room in the corner for him.

Zheng Kexin originally wanted to sit in the lobby. Although she was mentally prepared and agreed to the appointment, it would be awkward to eat alone with a strange parent, but she knew that their conversations had to avoid people, and at the same time, she could not violate the elders' opinions, so she followed behind No sound.

She was cautious, and she was not a talkative personality in front of strangers. She basically listened to Gao Qing's instructions from the beginning to the end.

The days after the rain in summer are often unbelievably hot, and the small air conditioners in the private rooms work hard to spread cold air.

Seeing that Zheng Kexin was wearing shorts, Gao Qing was busy looking for someone to come and turn up the temperature on the remote control, and then moved her to a position in the leeward direction. Ordering was still a matter of discussion, so Zheng Kexin would not take the initiative to speak, but Gao Qing seemed to agree with her. "There is a heart-to-heart connection", every recommended dish is based on Zheng Kexin's preferences.

"Nian Nian said that you like spicy food very much. I didn't dare to order it because of the exam. I ordered light ones." Gao Qing raised her head to greet the waiter, "The two stir-fried dishes just now can be made spicy."

Zheng Kexin was suddenly called by name, and immediately shook her head when she realized it: "No need for auntie, just normal taste. You don't have to worry about me, I can eat whatever you want."

"It's okay, let's make it spicy." Gao Qing instructed the waiter to write down, "I can eat spicy food. Nianni grandma's ancestors are from the south. When I was young, I always dipped in water when I was a child. Only when I came to the north did I eat less. gone."

Zheng Kexin couldn't answer, so she nodded silently.

I heard Gao Qing sigh casually: "Maybe it's because of the living environment, Nian Nian doesn't follow me, this child likes sweets more, and we can never eat together at home."

Zheng Kexin was taken aback for a moment, feeling that she meant something, but when he raised his head to meet the other person's gaze, he couldn't see anything.

The waiter at the side was sneaky, and took advantage of Zheng Kexin's silence to intervene well-trained: "It's normal for each to have its own taste. You ordered three dishes and one soup. Let's see what you want to drink. Does the little girl like to drink fruit juice? Our shop specially promotes passion fruit smoothie in summer, would you like a jug?"

They deliberately staggered people to talk, so they didn't choose to come at the meal time. There was no line at the back kitchen, and the dishes were all served in a short time. , Zheng Kexin clearly felt that the tight rope on Gao Qing's body was immediately loosened.

The person sitting across from him was still the polite and polite elder, but his brows and eyes, which were full of smiles just now, unconsciously frowned at this moment, showing a faint, restrained worry.

Gao Qing reached out to get the smoothie bucket, Zheng Kexin quickly took it and filled the two cups, and when she handed it back, she realized that Gao Qing was not Su Yingyu, maybe the elders at this age didn't like to drink this kind of over-sweet juice.

However, before she could ask a question, Gao Qing took it and took a big sip, as if she was thirsty.

"When we go out to eat, Niannian always orders these drinks. I thought it was unhealthy before, so it's good to drink once in a while." She smiled, looked at Zheng Kexin, and the subject suddenly turned a corner, "Niannian's grandma is a man Qingnv, when I knew that Nian Nian was a girl, she forced me to have an abortion, and Nian Nian almost didn't give birth."

Zheng Kexin held the cup in her hand, and her palm was full of mist and water droplets. She didn't know whether to comfort or be surprised, so she had no choice but to continue to nod in the end: "Niannian told me."

Gao Qing was not surprised, but just asked her: "Did Nian Nian say that she has two older sisters?"

Zheng Ke raised his head suspiciously, then shook his head again.

"She doesn't know about it." Gao Qing sighed, "Her father and I both keep it from her, and we don't want to mention it. Before Niannian, I had two abortions, both girls. When Niannian I am not young anymore, and I have physical problems, the doctor said, this child should be my last child."

Zheng Kexin didn't pay attention, and swallowed a piece of millet pepper with the fungus, and there was a burning pain when her tongue reached her throat.

Gao Qing ate very little, basically didn't move her chopsticks, and said to herself: "Nian Nian is my third child and the only one. Parents have to think about their children..."

Zheng Kexin put down the cup and straightened her back bit by bit, and heard her say: "As a mother, I have to plan for my daughter's future. Whatever your parents do, they must put you first, right?"

Gao Qing couldn't wait for Zheng Kexin to speak, and didn't force her to respond, and continued: "I know you are grown up now, you all have your own ideas, and you have the right to choose your own path. As parents, we always put ' For your own good' is on the lips, many children can't listen to it, but it's disgusting."

Zheng Kexin slowly shook her head, her voice was very low: "No."

Gao Qing sighed at her words: "—but no parent has to make trouble with his own children. She told me everything about you and Niannian. I want to ask you, your family members Do you know about this?"

Zheng Kexin didn't expect Gao Qing to ask this, she was taken aback for a moment, then shook her head.

Gao Qing seemed to have expected this, and asked again: "Why didn't you tell your family?"

why?

Her house is a puddle of mud, what is Sheng Yunming's situation, what kind of accident did Zheng Shupei just have, what kind of personality is Su Yingyu, and what burden is she carrying now.

Zheng Kexin had no one to say, so he couldn't say it.

"Do you dare to say it or can't say it? If you don't dare to say it, when will you dare it? Why can't you?"

Gao Qing took advantage of the victory and pursued, and asked Zheng Kexin's soft spot with a few words.

——What if you never dare, never can?

"Auntie doesn't blame you. Auntie knows you understand better than Niannian, so she called you out. In fact, I was outside the examination room during the college entrance examination. It's time to talk to you about this." Gao Qing spoke slowly and with great effort, "But I'm afraid if I don't tell you sooner...the two of you will really be inseparable."

Zheng Kexin clasped her hands tightly, pinching the knuckles of her ten fingers with a nail with only one side. For a moment, she wanted to smile wryly, and wanted to ask her, "We can't separate now! What can you do to us if we don't separate?" However, Gao Qingxiao's use of reason and emotion is beyond reproach, and Zheng Kexin has no reason to act like a jerk.

She suppressed the faint cry in her heart, and finally said: "You said that I understand better than Nian Nian, what do you mean?"

Gao Qing looked at her seriously: "It means that you know better than her that homosexuality is shameful, and you can't change the views of the general environment."

The gentle words that were originally circled and concealed suddenly became straightforward and sharp, and Zheng Kexin's ears rang, as if someone had slapped him in the air.

"I work in a hospital. I have seen all kinds of people. I have also seen children who are forced to see a doctor because they are gay. I know that your friends around you bless you and respect you, but there are so many people in this world. Your friends Just a very small part of it."

Gao Qing's tone was not accusatory, even very gentle, but Zheng Kexin didn't dare to look at her, but just stared at the indistinct wooden texture on the table.

"One day this matter will be made public, will your parents accept it? Will your loved ones accept it? In a person's life, he will spend far more time dealing with people he doesn't like than with people he likes. Can these people and those people accept you?"

"But." Zheng Kexin was rare, imitating Xu Niannian's logic of thinking and getting into Utopia, and said "children's words", "As long as we don't care, other people's opinions are not important."

After she finished speaking, she thought it was funny, but she saw HD shook her head heavily, but she didn't laugh at her, and she was still reasoning: "When you go to college, you meet more people and your thoughts are constantly changing. How many times have you been in love? It's very common. If the two of you break up and Nian Nian has a boy he likes, can Nian Nian not care about what that boy thinks about the girl that Nian Nian used to be with?"

Zheng Kexin couldn't answer.

"Taking a step back, you have been together until graduation and work. Niannian is not a particularly lively personality, and she is destined not to travel around in the future. She will have a stable job. A stable job means a narrow interpersonal circle, what? It’s all unbearable.”

The weather was hot, and the dishes on the table were still warm after talking for most of the day. Gao Qing just looked up after drinking the last bit of juice with a mouthful of tofu.

"You don't have to care about it, but won't this matter affect her future work? Now you can just care about love and don't care about bread, but in the future, the rest of your life will be spent for decades, and you still have to consider the relationship between classmates in the class , will you be able to idealize 'live your own life' afterwards?"

Zheng Kexin still couldn't answer, the point of willfulness just now had been used up, she understood that Gao Qing was right.

"I taught Niannian that love does not distinguish between age and gender, long-term and short-term love. I hope that as a parent, I will cultivate a child who knows how to respect." She changed her voice and sighed for a few times. Angry, "but no parent in the world has selfishness. Compared with those, I hope her life will be smooth and smooth. I don't want her to be unhappy, gossiping behind her back, pointing at her spine and scolding her—that crazy person."

The last five words hit Zheng Kexin's face loudly, and she suddenly realized that the hand holding the cup was completely cold, and her whole body trembled uncontrollably.

She understood Gao Qing's worry, because she had heard those detailed abuses a long time ago-it was the child of a psychopath.

——Her father is a psychopath, and she is the child of a psychopath.

——Her grandma is insane, and she is the child of a psychiatrist.

She and Xiao Xu grew up living in the eyes of others, so how could they tell themselves that those are not important?

A table of dishes was basically uneaten. Gao Qing broke open, crumbled, and gently put the truth in front of Zheng Kexin, and then made a little cold one. The toughness from her mother: "I don't want you and Nian Nian to be together." Together, I beg you, Auntie, if you can, go to the voluntary school and stay away from her. Auntie hopes you will think about it, if it doesn’t work, I can only talk to your mother. "

Zheng Kexin heard the slight threat in this sentence, but she didn't feel angry, only tired.

Ever since Xu Niannian responded to her heart, a tiny needle has been poking her heart tightly. She hid her family accident and accepted the care and care of her friends, while shamelessly indulging her selfishness and love. greedy.

She thought, she likes Xu Niannian, and Xu Niannian also likes her, even if there are so many great truths, she pretends that she doesn't hear the truths and doesn't exist, she can live happily under the happy appearance, and one day it will be counted. for one day.

An Ji asked her if she ever thought about forever.

She never dared to think forever.

The thin needle pricked her from time to time, and she didn't know about the small wounds without blood, but now thousands of wounds poked her heart into a sieve, and she finally had to face up to her shamelessness these days and nasty.

Xu Niannian had a future in mind.

And she lived every day as if it was her last.

She was exhausted, and said goodbye to Gao Qing politely with the last bit of strength, and then she suddenly didn't know where to go, and then she remembered that the excuse she made when she came out was that she wanted to go home and have a look.

Everyone in the family had already eaten. Su Yingyu ordered two more dishes when she saw her coming back. Zheng Kexin didn't have any appetite and didn't say much. Interrupted.

——She said that the picks for her knitting sweaters were stolen, and she wanted to call the police.

Su Yingyu had no choice but to get up and help her find it. After going back and forth several times, and finally comforting Sheng Yunming, Zheng Kexin didn't want to say anything anymore.

She didn't want to cause trouble for Su Yingyu.

He also suddenly realized that Gao Qing's clear logic was lacking in one thing - even if she was a boy, Xu Niannian shouldn't be with her, her house is a rotten quagmire, and she shouldn't drag anyone into the water.

Su Yingyu came back from her busy work and suddenly asked, "Your house will expire at the end of June, right?"

In order to earn more money, the landlord, unwritten, must rent the room for accompanying students until the end of the month, Zheng Kexin let out a "huh".

Su Yingyu poured her a glass of water: "Then when you move back, Mom wants to visit your aunt's. Your aunt's heart is not good and she is hospitalized."

Zheng Kexin was startled: "Why are you hospitalized suddenly?"

"Your grandma called her one day and said something about your father's car accident, and she didn't hide it." Su Yingyu's tone was calm, and she was more stable than before, "I'm old, old, The heart is not good, Mom wants to go and have a look, don't look back..."

Su Yingyu smiled, didn't continue to speak, just sighed lightly, Zheng Kexin knew what she didn't finish.

——Don’t look back like you saw your uncle, the meeting is the last time.

In the face of a child in June, the sun was still shining at noon, and in a blink of an eye, dark clouds rolled over from the west, and the cold wind rolled the leaves, as if it was going to rain again.

Sheng Yunming's mood was more changeable, just now he was watching the sketch quietly, but now he was crying and screaming again, Zheng Kexin was so upset that he didn't stay at home for long, and hurried out with an umbrella.

Xiao Xu called at this time. The house here was sold, and the money was enough, and there was more money. She thought that Zheng Kexin should celebrate the end of the college entrance examination, and proposed to treat her to a meal.

In the end, Zheng Kexin still chose KFC, and she was really not in the mood.

She felt that she was a piece of rotten wood riddled with holes, which could be scorched by fire and soaked by water, and if someone stepped on it at random, she would break with a bang.

She ordered a lot of fried food, trying to rely on dopamine to make herself more comfortable, and it was raining outside the window, people came and went, people were hiding from the rain, and a dozen or so boys ran past with a huge umbrella, Like running past a house.

Zheng Kexin was dumbfounded, choked to death by a mouthful of Coke.

Xiao Xu glanced out of the window and sighed faintly: "Youth has no limit."

Zheng Kexin suddenly lost her mind. She remembered that Xiao Xu told her that the boys in their school produce and sell themselves, and there is a "class pair" in their class: "I remember you said that there are two boys in your class who are in love. Now how's it going?"

Xiao Xu still dipped French fries into mashed potatoes and said casually, "It's divided."

"why……"

"One of the male part-time teachers and another male's parents made a fuss at the school, and everyone knew about it... Later, there was a child in the school who was gay, and the parents of the child also made a fuss, saying that the teacher had broken the teaching... In short, many things came together, the boy was fired, and later, the two broke up."

Zheng Kexin smiled coldly, her heart was so confused, she wanted to vent a few harsh words after hearing this unreasonable process, but in the end she couldn't say anything.

High school textbooks have said that the gender of a child is determined by the man, but most of the scolded women are women who can't give birth to a fat boy.Problems that can be explained by knowledge still exist today, not to mention problems that can only be explained by emotion.

There are certain truths that people cannot understand.

Xiao Xu sighed with french fries in his mouth: "The day that child's parents made a fuss, it happened to be our classmate reunion. A few of our classmates stopped by and drove to the school to pick them up, but ended up wading in muddy water and being pointed at by the parent. insulted."

Zheng Kexin: "You scolded... what?"

Xiao Xu didn't take it seriously, and said, "It's nothing, I went to fight, but she gave me a glare."

The child's parents scolded: "Did I call you gay?"

The author has something to say: Dip in water—the light of life, half of my stomach is Xinjiang and half Hunan.

In a person's life, he spends far more time dealing with people he doesn't like than with people he likes—it was when we were in freshman year, what the head teacher said to us left a deep impression on us.

(I have read every comment from everyone. Many ids are already very familiar. Every time I refresh and see new comments, haha, it feels like a big gift bag has dropped. Thank you for speaking here, welcome to come When I arrived in Lincheng, I was really happy, very happy, very happy, yeah.)