inescapable sunshine

It turns out that I have always been self-righteous, and it turns out that I am nothing.

Getting along for so many years is only limited to brotherhood, stopping here, and there is no feeling beyond this category.It's just my self-indulgence, but why am I so brooding, isn't this what I expected?I'm not jealous that Liu Dian has so many women together, isn't it just a man this time?How could I just give up on myself here.

But, but, but didn't I suppress my emotions all the time because I didn't want him to become a homo like me, and kept a careful distance from him?

Now there is no need for me to drag him, he has stepped on it by himself, but I don't know in what capacity and what position I am pulling him up.Me too, what can I do?

I have always thought that I am very attractive, as long as I don't provoke Liu Dian, he will not bend, like an ordinary person, like the opposite sex, get married and have children and start a family.But I never expected that this was just a beautiful illusion I created for myself, and there are many people who are more attractive than me.My escape has helped others, or even if I pursue Liu Dian with all my strength, he will not like me, I am not qualified at all.

Zheng Sheng, I just want to get rid of him now.But obviously, this is just my idiot's fantasy.What's more, he is the person Liu Dian likes now.

Before meeting Liu Dian, I left.The person who called my father took the drum back to the piano room. I stood beside the drum in a daze, staring at the drum.

Why did you send me such an expensive thing?Just as a gift for my brother?Or is it a random item bought just to play with me on stage?I don't understand.

I walked out of the piano room, locked the door, and never wanted to come here again.

Dial Zhang Yanxi's cell phone, "Brother."

"Say."

"I want 15 million."

"Why do you want so much money?" Zhang Yanxi's voice did not reveal much surprise.

"I borrowed someone else's money to buy a drum set, and I want to return it immediately." I said half-truthfully.

"Give it back to Liu Dian?"

I was surprised: "How do you know?"

"He lent me [-] yuan before and said he would buy you drums. I wondered why he didn't have enough money to buy a drum set, but I didn't expect him to buy such expensive ones."

"Brother, what do you want to say?" Zhang Yanxi always only talked about the main points, concise and to the point, and he didn't want to say a word, unless he wanted to imply something, or pave the way for the next words.

"Did you two break up, or you wouldn't pay him back the money?"

Indeed, Liu Dian gave me something, but I paid him back because of our relationship, obviously because he wanted to make a break.

But I don't care, I willfully don't want to accept this gift that is ironic to me.I don't need gifts from brothers.I can no longer pretend to be this brother, since he is getting along with someone else, then I just hide away.

"Hello?" A voice came from the phone.

"Anyway, you just need to send me some money. If it doesn't work, it's about [-]. I have some money myself."

"Give me a few days to change the account, so as not to hide it from Dad, he can't allow me to send you so much money."

"Okay, sorry." Then I hung up the phone.

I went to Zhang Yanxi to deal with the mess again, and I turned to him every time something happened.Although they are brothers, I am now such an adult, so I feel embarrassed.

When they returned to the dormitory, neither Liu Dian nor Zheng Sheng came back, and they were irritated again.

After taking a shower, I turned on the computer and looked at the rental information, then climbed into bed and went to sleep.But I couldn't fall asleep and fell asleep again.

In the middle of the night, Liu Dian and Zheng Sheng came back. When Liu Dian climbed into bed, I smelled alcohol all over his body.Not long after, the sky began to dim, and I fell asleep unknowingly.

When I woke up, it was almost two o'clock in the afternoon, and there was no one in the dormitory.After tidying up a bit, I went out to look at the house, and settled down after seeing a few houses. The price/performance ratio is average, but it is close to the school and it is still clean.

The next day, when Liu Dian was not around, I packed all my things into the suitcase, took the suitcase and went to the newly rented residence.Lying on the bed in a strange room, a little at a loss, how did it develop into the current situation?

Fortunately, it was the National Day holiday, and there was a whole week for me to calm down.Not seeing him, not having to face the two of them, there is nothing more to be thankful for.

Liu Dian called me a few times and sent me a few text messages like "Where did you go?" "Call me back".I didn't reply to any of them.

Then Zhang Yanxi called me and asked me to call Liu Dian.I asked him to tell Liu Dian not to look for me anymore, I went outside to play.I even found Zhang Yanxi's place, and he really put his heart into it.

Two days later, I received a text message from the bank, and received 13 yuan. It seems that Zhang Yanxi has tried his best, and maybe part of it was his own money.

I opened the online banking and transferred 14 to him. Fortunately, Liu Dian and I often borrow money from each other, otherwise it would be useless without his card number.In addition, the rent has just been paid, and the card and the money in hand add up to two or three thousand, so there is nothing to do this month except ordinary expenses.

Just a few minutes after transferring the money, Liu Dian called, and I just kept my phone vibrating.After Liu Dian called twice, he didn't call again.

My mood was so bad that even after my father found out about my sexual orientation, he beat me up and didn't let me go out for a month.Before, I was still thinking about ways to escape and play all kinds of things, and then I would go back to the house before my father found out.

Now I don't want to move at all, and I can't bring myself to do anything.I wake up at noon every day and have a meal outside, then play games for a day, then take a shower and go to bed.

When my father gave me the task, I lied and said that I went to the neighboring city to play with the people in the dormitory.The two brothers Xue Bai and Xue Yang also asked me to play, but they were also excused by me.

You can escape for a while, but you can't escape for a lifetime.The short National Day Golden Week is over, and I go back to school.

Writer's words:

Tomorrow's exam, you must go well...! !