chilling

Summer nights in the north and barbecue stalls seem to be a couple made in heaven. Yu Qiuliang smelled the aroma of barbecue from outside, and his stomach growled loudly in disobedience.He put down his mobile phone, determined to go to the kitchen to look for food, searched through the boxes and cabinets, but couldn't find even a bag of instant noodles.Yu Xia gave birth to such a big animal, and ate all his snacks without authorization. Not only did he finish eating, but he didn't go to replenish it, which made him unable to find food every time he was hungry.

"Yu Xiasheng!" Yu Qiuliang was so angry that he simply called him by his name, hoping that the old ghost would sense his anger and roll into the kitchen to apologize obediently, but he waited for a long time, only waiting for a lazy reply.Yu Xiasheng has no remorse at all, let alone the slightest intention of repentance. Since Yu Qiuliang was on vacation, he has always looked like this mud can't support the wall.

Du Xiaoyuan ran all over the world, searching for traces of her younger brother. Gu Jia and Xie Jiangyue followed her around. Today they arrived at Changbai Mountain, and tomorrow they went to the ends of the earth. The whole country seemed to be covered with the footprints of the three of them.Normally speaking, women's physical strength should be weaker than men's. Girls can't always do the hard work, but the men who could have helped them have already run away and used up two. This has caused the current situation. awkward situation.

The one who ran away ahead of time was of course Lu Huaiming, and the two who were abolished were undoubtedly the pair of salted fish lying at home with mold and long hairs.Yu Xiasheng refused Yu Qiuliang to go out without authorization on the grounds of worry, and Yu Qiuliang asked him to go out with him, but he repeatedly refused.The number of times he declined, Yu Qiuliang began to understand that he wasn't worried at all, nor was he busy with other things, he didn't go out simply because he was lazy.

The cupboard door was pushed back heavily by Yu Qiuliang, making a loud noise, Yu Xiasheng in the living room remained silent, but the little black cat appeared at the door of the kitchen.It got in through the crack of the door and rubbed against Yu Qiuliang's ankle flatteringly.

"Hey, ah." Facing the little black cat, Yu Qiuliang couldn't get angry. He hugged the little cat and kissed it. He poked his head out from the kitchen and glared at the unknown creature on the sofa. The "unidentified creature" squirmed for a while, first stretched out its two long legs, and then exposed its arms. The two hands pawed for a while, and finally pulled out its head. Yu Xiasheng yawned and asked him, "What's wrong?"

"What about instant noodles? Don't you know how to buy some more after eating?" Yu Qiuliang scolded, "Why are you like my father? You never know how to buy food after eating. Others have to follow him when they go home hungry... "

There was still a part of the sentence that was not finished, but Yu Qiuliang suddenly closed his mouth with a sullen expression.As soon as he mentioned the past, he would inevitably think of family conflicts, and once he thought of those, the grievances and fears accumulated over the years would all rise in his brain, and they were even clearer than the pictures that were close at hand.

Turning his gaze, he saw that there were still uncleaned cigarette butts in the ashtray on the table, Yu Qiuliang's face became even more ugly.He instinctively resists alcohol and tobacco because it reminds him of a less rosy past.

"Let's collect things these two days." For some reason, his tone suddenly softened, so gentle that he didn't seem like him anymore, "I will move out after a while, and I won't live here. It's better to live with you , It’s also good to live near the school, in short, change places.”

"Why?" Yu Xiasheng sat up, scratched his hair, and reached for the cans on the table.Yu Qiuliang glanced at him, and became irritable again: "Are you sick? Do you drink herbal tea every day? You eat eight fucking popsicles and drink herbal tea. Forget it if you freeze to death!"

Yu Xiasheng: "..."

Instant noodles are innocent, and herbal tea is even more innocent. God knows why Yu Qiuliang always has trouble with dead things.With his virtue, if he sat in the studio, he might scold the still lifes on the table.Yu Xiasheng put down the herbal tea in silence, not giving Yu Qiuliang a chance to continue getting angry.

The little black cat climbed onto Yu Qiuliang's shoulder, stretched out its little paws and flaunted Yu Xiasheng.It has already mastered the skill of hugging the thigh, and knows what to do to live more comfortably in this home. It has set its sights on Yu Qiuliang, and quickly became Yu Qiuliang's favorite baby.

Under Qiu Liang's oppression, Yu Xiasheng dared not speak out, let alone let his dissatisfaction show.He turned on the air conditioner irritably, jumped off the sofa, and cleaned up the messy coffee table. Until this moment, the angry look on Yu Qiuliang's face eased, and he no longer looked like unmelted ice.

It's just that when Yu Xiasheng cleaned up, he just watched from the side and didn't come up to help.Yu Xiasheng guessed that he was either angry because he was hungry, or because he thought of something else. It seemed that since he took the elevator up the stairs a few days ago, his state was a little abnormal.

Yu Qiuliang also knows that he is not normal recently, it can be said that he is too irritable, but he can't control his anxiety at all, maybe the previous experience has become a psychological shadow that will accompany him all his life, and he will never get better from this problem.

Before graduating from high school, Yu Qiuliang once discussed the psychology of suicide with Song Ciran. Discussing some profound topics was a usual pastime for boring high school students.Yu Qiuliang still remembers the point of view at that time. Until now, he still believes that the reason why people commit suicide is because they can't live anymore.

Sometimes from the perspective of a bystander, he looks at his past and finds countless unreasonable things in it.He found it, he found it, but so what?They are all irrational in the past and cannot be changed anymore. No one has a time machine and cannot tamper with history.

Then he thought again, will life be better in the future?Every time he thinks about such promising things, he will be happy for a while, but it is a pity that in his life, bad luck will always be the majority.Besides, the human brain can never become a computer, and it is impossible to delete those memories that he does not want to save in batches, so when he sees his parents, he thinks of tears in the dark night, when he sees blood, he thinks of death, when he sees blades, his hands shake, and he finds that his experience is similar to his own. Some people will feel sad quietly in the dead of night.

Why do people want to die?Because they can't survive.

In any case, Yu Qiuliang couldn't understand Chi Yu either.If someone treats him well, it's too late for him to be happy, so how can he pick and choose?I don't know how to be blessed when I am blessed, and I am talking about a guy like Chi Yu. He takes advantage of all the advantages, but feels that he is not happy.

And there are many people similar to Chi Yu.

Yu Xiasheng washed his hands, lifted the kitten off Yu Qiuliang's shoulder, and touched his head with his free hand.

"Chi Yu talked to me once later." Yu Qiuliang looked at him fixedly, and suddenly asked, "Do you think I resemble him?"

The light in Yu Xiasheng's eyes dimmed, as if he was sad, but why he was sad, no one could understand except himself.He didn't answer Yu Qiuliang's words, but just shook his head. The little black cat couldn't bear the solemn atmosphere between them, and jumped off the ground first and slipped away. It was just a kitten, and there was no need to understand human love and hatred.

"I went upstairs a few days ago and stayed with my parents for a while. My dad is quitting alcohol. My brother did okay in the final exam. I don't know what will happen in the future. Live comfortably." Yu Qiuliang continued, "I think it's good now, but it's too late, do you understand me? There are still many years to go, ten years, 20 years, 30 years... ...I can't show up to them with the same face, I still have to go."

What he said was the truth, and Yu Xiasheng could understand what he meant.

Everything is late, and this "late" has many meanings.

Both peace and beauty come too late. After violence destroys everything, the belated warmth will not have much effect, just like no matter how blazing a fire is, it cannot burn a stubborn stone, and no matter how hot your heart is, it cannot warm the ice.A stone may crack in a fire, or become a heap of fragments, but it is still a stone; ice may turn into a puddle of water, but ice that has become water is no longer ice.

Only when it has happened, can the remedy be considered. However, no matter how ingenious the compensation method is or how attractive the conditions are, it is impossible to go back in time and space and turn the pointer back to the original moment.To put it cruelly and absolutely, the so-called remedies are meaningless actions.The human heart is not a toy, and glue is useless to it. No matter how powerful you are, it is still difficult to put together a broken heart perfectly.

It's too late.Whether it is a remedy or an apology, they are always late, and they are bound to be late, even if they will not be absent.The guilt for the dead and the compensation for the living appear too late, even when the parties no longer need them.

But at this time, all gentleness is just appearance, they imply a blade, and they are lingering while embracing.

For many years, he hid in a corner day and night and glued the two halves of his heart tightly with blood and tears. Not long after the glue was glued together, the person who cut it was handed a roll of tape, as if this would pay off the debt , will have a happy ending from now on.They even forgot that the child never believed in fairy tales, and the story was devastated at the end, with no turning point.

In fact, you can wait a little longer, but Yu Qiuliang is not good at waiting now, and he easily loses the patience to hide.In his opinion, instead of procrastinating, it is better to cut off contact directly. Although it sounds cruel, it is a good choice.

The longer the delay, the harder it is to explain, the slower the adaptation and the later the understanding.Yu Qiuliang had a headache, and the sleepiness from the sun in the afternoon continued into the evening. He waved his hand and didn't continue this topic.Yu Xiasheng shook his head, watched him go back to the bedroom, lay back on the sofa, and continued to stare at the ceiling.

Although he said he didn't like it and wanted to leave, Yu Qiuliang was a nostalgic person in his heart. If he wanted to go far, how far could he go?Yu Xiasheng didn't believe that he would really leave, he probably just said something harsh, whether he would implement it or not was uncertain.

His premonition was right, Yu Qiuliang regretted it when he returned to the house, he tried to open the door to Yu Xiasheng several times and told Yu Xiasheng that he was going to repent, but he couldn't hold back his face.Thin-skinned is a problem, especially when thin-skinned is not supposed to be thin-skinned, it is simply fatal.Yu Qiuliang buried his face in the pillow, and kept tearing the pillowcase with his fingers. Fortunately, he didn't have long nails, otherwise, if the pillowcase died, then the nails died.

Just as he was struggling, he heard Yu Xiasheng knock on the door lightly, followed by the doorknob clicking.Yu Qiuliang lay down on the bed and pretended to be dead, not wanting to talk to anyone, but after a while, he still couldn't help but look up at him.

"Why are you angry?" Yu Xiasheng opened the curtains and opened the bedroom window wider to let the night breeze into the room.The cool wind soothed Yu Qiuliang's anxiety, and at the same time aroused his melancholy, he turned over on the bed to dry his belly, touched his deflated belly and sighed.

Maybe he was lamenting that he would not be able to eat kebabs tonight, or maybe he was lamenting that he suddenly lost his appetite. In short, it still has something to do with eating.Chinese people are more particular about food, and Yu Qiuliang is a typical Chinese foodie.

Knowing that he was embarrassed to speak up, Yu Xiasheng had no choice but to volunteer and take the blame: "You don't have to go so fast, it's okay to wait for a few more years. If people ask you why you don't age, you tell them you grow old Isn’t it good to look good so you look young?”

He paused for a moment, and suddenly approached: "I'm still waiting for you to introduce me to my parents. How about it, think about it? Take me to meet my parents in a few years?"

"Are you free? In a few years, how many years do you want?" Yu Qiuliang pretended to be fierce, but his tone couldn't help softening a bit.

Yu Xiasheng rubbed his head: "Let's talk about it first when we are adults. You can't know the law and break the law."

Yu Qiuliang grabbed his hand and asked with a playful smile: "Then when I become an adult, can I have a romantic relationship with you?"

Talking about love is a trivial matter, what comes with it is the important point.Yu Xiasheng lowered his head and glanced at Yu Qiuliang's restless paws. Seeing that he was about to untie someone else's waistband again, he couldn't help but move back to avoid his mischievous hands, and warned, "You are too young."

Regardless of age or size, it is a bit small.

"Bah." Yu Qiuliang's face changed, "You don't suffer."

"You can't break the law." Yu Xiasheng murmured softly, "It won't work until you're an adult...we'll talk about it when you're 20."

20 years old?That's three more years.Three years, three years, three years, three years, three years...the years are endless.Yu Qiuliang rolled his eyes.

He thought for a while, then threatened: "Then I'm going to harm other people's little girls."

Yu Xiasheng seemed to think about it for a while, and even nodded, thinking that this kind of approach is feasible.Yu Qiuliang couldn't help being discouraged.He has always been strong in his mouth, he can be called a giant in language, but a dwarf in action. Although he said that in words, but if he really wanted to practice it, he would shrink back.He doesn't even know how to deal with girls, let alone "harm", he is more or less careful not to be harmed by others.

Seeing that the method didn't work and failed to arouse Yu Xiasheng's vigilance, Yu Qiuliang rolled his eyes and said, "Chi Yu called me."

"Really? How dare he call at this time? What did he say to you?" Hearing the word "Chi Yu", Yu Xiasheng's expression finally relaxed a little. Sure enough, Chi Yu is a sufficiently dangerous person , can successfully get his attention.

Suddenly, Yu Qiuliang saw the scar on Yu Xiasheng's neck through the light coming in from the window.The imprint left by the war on him is no longer likely to fade, but Chi Yu still wants to create chaos and destroy the hard-won peace.Yu Qiuliang thought, Chi Yu probably didn't understand the cruelty of war, he was well protected, and of course he didn't realize how terrifying the things he yearned for were.Or maybe he has seen that depressive and terrifying atmosphere, and since then he has become obsessed with destruction and destruction, and he thinks that he can survive alone in the chaos.

Yu Qiuliang blinked, and suddenly lost the idea of ​​joking: "No, I just called. ——When will he be caught? What should I do when I catch him?"

"After you catch him, send him away first, and then Du Xiaoyuan will leave too." Yu Xiasheng held his hand, rubbing his palm lightly with his fingertips, "When they are all gone, only the two of us will be left." one."

He seldom spoke in this tone, and Yu Qiuliang was stunned.Thinking about it, it seems that this is really the case, and Lu Huaiming is not the only one who wants to leave?Du Xiaoyuan, Gu Jia, Xie Jiangyue... they all have to leave in the end, even Chi Yu...

Um?Sensing something was wrong, Yu Qiuliang couldn't help frowning: "Send him away? How do you send him away?"

Yu Xiasheng's movements froze for a moment, and Yu Qiuliang suddenly opened his eyes wide: "You lied to me again! If you can send him away, so can I! You—"

Looking at each other, Qiqi fell into silence.Yu Qiuliang saw that Yu Xiasheng's eyes were shining like stars.After a while, Yu Xiasheng raised his hand, pressed a kiss on the back of his hand, and then asked again: "Yes, I can. Then do you want to go?"

want to go?

Ending all the struggles and escaping the darkness that was chasing after him was what he had always dreamed of, but when it came time to make a choice, he was at a loss what to do.If it were him in the past, he would probably nod without thinking. When he first met Yu Xiasheng, he felt resentful every day. He blamed Yu Xiasheng and Lu Huaiming for dragging him back from the gate of hell and pushing him into the human world. The observer's plan was revealed, and the resentment increased, but thinking about it carefully, it seemed that it was not bad to be alive.

The memory of the fish is only seven seconds, and Yu Qiuliang of the goldfish brain has forgotten who said this sentence:

"Living doesn't necessarily get better or worse; today must be different from yesterday. If you want to see this difference, try to live."

Trying to live, maybe it should be.There is always a difference between today and yesterday, the sun and the moon are slightly different, the sky looks like yesterday’s sky, but the world is full of people coming and going, it’s not the same as before.The sunset that day must be different from that of a 17-year-old, right? ——However, the person who was by my side at that time must be someone I met when I was 17 years old.

"Where to go, it's fine now." Yu Qiuliang whispered, "I like you."

The stars in Yu Xiasheng's eyes became brighter in an instant, and he gently held Yu Qiuliang's hand, as if grasping some rare treasure.

"May I ask for a reward?" Yu Qiuliang sneered and stalked.Yu Xiasheng only thought that he wanted to show off his appetite, so he stroked his hair, which was much longer than before, and waited for him to speak.

Yu Qiuliang's eyes sparkled, and he got up from the bed excitedly: "Then I want to kiss you."

"Come on." Yu Xiasheng embraced him with open arms, "If you kiss me, then it's not my fault."

Outside the window is the light summer night, and the wind blows for millions of miles, causing ripples in the heart lake and ripples in the long river.

He has traveled for a long time, and he has seen the flames of war and the stars falling one after another.I have been lonely, I have been looking forward to, and I have been running around for decades with a glimmer of hope, and finally someone will live in the castle in my heart.

"Guangzhou has mountains and seas, and there are big rivers in the south." Yu Xiasheng whispered in Qiuliang's ear, "Choose a good time in the coming year, and I'll take you to watch it together... It's been so long since the war ended, and I haven't been back yet. "

Some people in the last century were really special.

They are superstitious and ignorant, ignorant and dull.

At the same time, he is loyal, resolute, and deeply affectionate.

At this moment, Yu Qiuliang was thinking, it turns out that in one's life, one must have the luckiest thing.

The breeze stopped suddenly.

The sun rises and the moon sets.

The author has something to say:

Fishing is over.