哏儿

When her feet touched the ground, Ye Ling was still out of her body.

"Ms. Ye, I'm on the ground and woke up." Xie Shuangchen supported him and smiled, "Are you so scared? Come on, I won't be afraid if I hug you."

"Get out!" Ye Ling raised her leg and kicked Xie Shuangchen, she no longer looked like she was about to die, "Get out!"

"Oh, Mr. Ye, I don't know that you are afraid of heights?" Xie Shuangchen said sternly, "I apologize, and I kneel down to you! Let's not be angry anymore, I really can't! Teacher Ye is the cutest and has the best temper Yes! Ye Lingxian'er!"

"Shut up!" Ye Ling's head was about to explode from Xie Shuangchen's yelling, "I want to go back to Beijing!"

"Okay, go back to Beijing." Xie Shuangchen took out his mobile phone, "I'll check the ticket."

Ye Ling asked: "As the co-author, you haven't bought the ticket back to Beijing yet?"

"Isn't the Beijing-Tianjin intercity fast? I'm thinking about when I want to leave and buy again..." Xie Shuangchen swiped around, raised his head and smiled wryly, "But it seems that there are no tickets?"

Ye Ling said: "Are the standing tickets gone? It's only been three or ten minutes. You can stand back."

Xie Shuangchen said: "There are no more at this moment, and there will be after ten o'clock in the evening." He also showed Ye Ling his mobile phone, and only the last few trains had tickets.

"Then let's go back later." Ye Ling said.

"It's so troublesome, so what are you doing now? Are we staring at each other?" Xie Shuangchen asked.

Ye Ling said: "What can't you do to kill time?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "Why don't we stay in Tianjin tonight? Teacher Ye, are you going home?"

"...No reply." Ye Ling didn't want to mention it.

Xie Shuangchen thought about it, and said: "Then I'll open a room, don't go back today, it's really tiring to mess around at night, and we can swim in the Haihe River at night."

Ye Ling didn't know what kind of medicine Xie Shuangchen sold in the gourd, but he instinctively felt that Xie Shuangchen had no good intentions, so he took out his mobile phone and planned to buy a ticket: "Please stay in Tianjin by yourself first, I want to go back to Beijing..." He was pressing the screen, and when he slid his hand, the phone flew out.When he looked up, Xie Shuangchen had already snatched his phone and ran away.

"Xie Shuangchen, what are you doing!" Ye Ling shouted, "Give me back the phone!"

"No!" Xie Shuangchen also shouted, "I went to buy pancakes!"

Ye Ling felt that she was crazy to queue up with Xie Shuangchen in the middle of the night to buy pancakes and fruits.

Xie Shuangchen euphemistically called being idle was idle, and Ye Ling asked him why he couldn't buy it in the morning?Xie Shuangchen said that he was too lazy to get up in the morning.

The two of them lined up until 01:30 in the middle of the night, and Ye Ling reasonably suspected that Xie Shuangchen was forced to stay in Tianjin overnight just to eat the set of pancakes.Xie Shuangchen wanted to buy one for him, but he was in a bad mood and decided not to eat it.

The pancake fruit was too hot just out of the pan, Xie Shuangchen blew it with his left hand and his right hand for a long time before he took a bite, with white gas coming out of his mouth.

"Is it delicious?" Ye Ling couldn't help asking.

"Would you like to try it?" Xie Shuangchen changed the side that he hadn't bitten and handed it to Ye Ling's mouth. Ye Ling didn't eat much at night, and he was a little hungry even now, so he opened his mouth and took a bite.

"How is it?" Xie Shuangchen asked.

"It's okay." Ye Ling commented, "But it's not worth it to wait in the middle of the night just to buy a pancake. It's not as good as the one in front of our house."

Xie Shuangchen said, "I don't know where your door is."

Ye Ling said: "There is no need to know."

Xie Shuangchen was holding his pancakes, and while eating, he chased Ye Ling and asked questions. Ye Ling was so sleepy that he yawned and didn't want to talk.Xie Shuangchen finished eating a hot pancake, his stomach was warm, he burped in satisfaction, pulled Ye Ling to turn around and went into a hotel.

After quickly taking the room card, Ye Ling was so sleepy that she lay on the bed directly.Xie Shuangchen still had time to take a shower, but Ye Ling seemed to be asleep when he came out.

He quietly got on Ye Ling's bed, and put his hands on Ye Ling's side.Ye Ling closed her eyes and did not move, as if she was defenseless against the world after falling asleep.The water from Xie Shuangchen's hair accidentally slipped and dripped on Ye Ling's face. Ye Ling opened her eyes "swish", and there was a mass of flesh color in her blurred vision. After she was fully focused, she could see Xie Shuangchen's shirtless arms. above yourself.

"You—" Ye Ling was startled, and hurriedly shrank back, but accidentally fell off the bed with a "plop".

Xie Shuangchen got up and laughed loudly: "Mr. Ye, why are you making such a fuss? I don't care about you?"

Ye Ling supported the bed and stood up, and said, "You didn't respond when someone was so close to you when you were sleeping?"

"Don't be so wary." Xie Shuangchen turned to the bathroom to dry his hair. Since Ye Ling woke up, he didn't care if the noise was loud, and opened the door and shouted, "I won't take pictures of your bed and sell them money!"

Ye Ling said: "I'm not a celebrity, what can I sell for?"

Xie Shuangchen came out, sat down on Ye Ling's bed, stretched out his hand and squeezed Ye Ling's face, smiled like a rascal, and said, "Young Master Bao, if you stay overnight, you can still tutor high school physics."

Ye Ling waved Xie Shuangchen's hand away, and said seriously: "Physics in high school is too simple, I'm at least a beginner in competition physics."

Xie Shuangchen collapsed on Ye Ling's bed and laughed out loud.He was naked to the waist, sunken in the soft quilt, with his head resting on a little pillow, his posture was tilted, the depression of the collarbone was more clearly defined, and the lines of his body were clean and well-proportioned.He was shrouded in a hazy dampness, tears were streaming from the corners of his eyes when he smiled, they were red, so unattractive.

Ye Ling said: "You are the one who looks like a young master."

The corner of Xie Shuangchen's mouth curled up, and he put his hand on Ye Ling's shoulder, and then slowly slid down from his shoulder to his back: "Master, come and play—"

Ye Ling let out a long sigh. Xie Shuangchen was so sleepy just now, and her mind was sober. Seeing that Xie Shuangchen was still playing this game, she bent down, looked down at Xie Shuangchen, squeezed his chin, and asked: " Do you think you are so cheap? You have to play prostitutes, play deep, and you don’t like it yourself, you can’t clean up the trouble yourself, are you annoying? Boring or not? How old are you? "

"No, it is absolutely impossible for me to lose this time." Xie Shuangchen was shameless, but it was somewhat face-saving.He really thought it was fun to tease Ye Ling, but Ye Ling was not always at a disadvantage, and occasionally made a few sharp counterattacks that made Xie Shuangchen surrender on the spot.Ye Ling's words are correct, Xie Shuangchen is cheap, playful, and lawless once he plays.

He asked Ye Ling to poke his weakness, and suddenly felt a little bit overwhelmed, who is his little fifth master?That's the number one stubborn lord in Beijing's urban platoon—of course, it's only within the range of their alley.However, this did not affect Xie Shuangchen's self-awareness.

Whoever is serious will lose first, this time, Xie Shuangchen will never lower his head.

He raised his upper body, held Ye Ling's face with both hands, quickly sucked Ye Ling's mouth, turned over and got out of bed, ran to turn off the light, and quickly got into his bed.

"Good night, Teacher Ye." Xie Shuangchen said, "I won this time."

He covered his head with a quilt and went off the assembly line on the spot.

Ye Ling froze in place, her brain slowly returned to blood after being blank for a few seconds.Clay figurines also have a three-point earthy nature. He recalled the experience of being bullied by Xie Shuangchen all day today, and suddenly felt that his lungs were about to explode.

Really very wronged.

He kicked onto Xie Shuangchen's bed, lifted the quilt and lifted Xie Shuangchen up: "Xie Shuangchen, you must be sick! Do you play like this?! Did I provoke you or do I owe you money? Get out!"

"Teacher Yeyeye, please calm down!" Xie Shuangchen knew that he had lit a firecracker, and begged for mercy, "Don't disturb the neighbors at night!"

"Where did the neighbor come from!" Ye Ling pushed Xie Shuangchen outside, and was about to throw Xie Shuangchen out when he opened the door.Xie Shuangchen huddled against the door frame and begged, "Give me some clothes anyway!"

"No! Get out!" Ye Ling kicked Xie Shuangchen again, Xie Shuangchen let go subconsciously, and the door closed with a bang.

Wrapped in a bath towel, he stood alone in the corridor, helpless.

"Ms. Ye, I know I was wrong! I will never mess with you again! If I mess with you, I'll be a puppy!" Xie Shuangchen lay on the crack of the door and whispered towards the inside, "I really don't mean anything else! Is it your first kiss? Hey, then my sin is even greater! It’s okay, I’m not, you don’t owe me anything! Let’s just pretend nothing happened! It’s cold outside, if I continue like this, I should go to society It's news, a certain man knelt in the hotel corridor in the middle of the night begging for something..."

He himself told the door a whole episode of stand-up comedy, but Ye Ling was indifferent.In the end, Xie Shuangchen said that he was thirsty, and then he remembered that he could go to the front desk for help.He had no choice but to run down desperately, and was successfully rescued by the calm expression of the front desk staff.

After this episode, Ye Ling ignored Xie Shuangchen for a week.Of course, he didn't say nothing, just played cold violence.

Xie Shuangchen went to discuss with Ye Ling about the show that was to be performed on the weekend, Ye Ling glanced at it, no matter what Xie Shuangchen arranged, she lightly said "OK".

When it came to the stage, it was no longer the case.

This is the afternoon show on Saturday, there are not many people, and the audience is sparse. Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling are talking about "Xue Critic Opera" on the stage.

As the name suggests, this activity focuses on learning and criticizing operas, with a lot of opera critics interspersed in the middle.There is no sense of existence for this kind of live chatter, just stand inside the table and watch the funny sing outside the table.

However, Ye Ling didn't want to let Xie Shuangchen go.

"Then why don't you sing "Qin Xianglian"?" Ye Ling said.

Xie Shuangchen sang a few lines of "Qin Xianglian".

"I think "Flower is a Match" is also quite good." Ye Ling said, "Why don't you sing it for the audience?"

Xie Shuangchen had to sing "Flower as a Matchmaker".

Ye Ling said again: "And that "Yutangchun"..."

Xie Shuangchen began to sing "Yutangchun" again.

Criticism is easy to understand and not as strenuous as Peking Opera, but it can be tiring enough to sing without panting for so long.As soon as Ye Ling came out, Xie Shuangchen could only sing out one by one. Whenever he wanted to enter the next part, Ye Ling could think of another part.

What can Xie Shuangchen say?He has no temper!

"Why don't you sing "Peach Blossom with Human Face" again..." In Ye Ling's opinion, this episode is really difficult.

"This "Peach Blossom with Human Face"..." Xie Shuangchen was tired from singing, leaning on the edge of the table with one hand, he spoke smoothly, and was stunned in the middle of speaking, has he learned this before?

Xie Shuangchen thought, it's over, it's over, Ye Ling clicked out that he couldn't sing, he was really going to die.

Ye Ling was also very wronged. He was a blind cat who met a dead mouse. He didn't know that Xie Shuangchen couldn't sing. Seeing Xie Shuangchen's painful and entangled look, he thought he was pretending, and asked, "Don't you know everything about Jingping Bangyue?" What? Get one for everyone."

There were only a few spectators in the audience who didn't forget to boo.

"This "Peach Blossom with Human Face" is about Cui Hu's story. Didn't he write a poem? Allusions, my heart has long been panicked.There are only four lines in this poem, and there is no way to explain each word. What did he say after he finished speaking?Googling on stage?

Ye Ling could tell something was wrong, but he didn't say anything, he wanted to see how far Xie Shuangchen could break it.

"Everyone knows that I have studied Peking Opera from my master seriously, this critic..." Xie Shuangchen continued to chatter, with a smile on his face and tears in his heart.

When the book is used, there is not much to hate, but when the play is sung, there is not too much.

The first sentence was written in an ancient book, and the latter sentence was compiled by Xie Shuangchen. He felt that his compilation was very reasonable, and decided to step down and write it down for mounting.

Inscribed "Xie's Golden Sentences".

He was thinking about it, only to hear a crisp voice coming from below.

"Can you sing? If you don't, tell me quickly!"

The audience all came out to argue, Xie Shuangchen swept his eyes down, and locked on the source of the sound - a young man in the first row, sitting with a big horse, staring straight at the stage with a pair of shiny cat eyes.

"I've sung so much, what else can I not sing?" Xie Shuangchen was also idle, arguing with a child, "Shouldn't I explain the plot to other audiences before I sing? Look at your interruption, I will I forgot the words, and those who could sing became unable to sing.”

The young man "cut" and said loudly: "You obviously can't sing! I've been listening here for a long time, and your song "Yutangchun" is not good, you layman!"

"I'm an amateur when it comes to singing and criticizing cross talk." Xie Shuangchen said, "Since you are so good at speaking, you must be able to sing. How about you teach me how to sing "Peach Blossom with a Human Face"?"

Seeing that the two of them were about to fight, Ye Ling said to Xie Shuangchen: "How good are you to challenge the audience? Are you capable?"

Xie Shuangchen said, "I'm not ashamed to ask."

Just as Ye Ling was about to speak, the boy said again: "I'm still a child, so I can sing as soon as I sing!"

Ye Ling raised his forehead, well, this young man, did you spend money to cheer him up?Is it too little homework or not enough extracurricular classes?Your parents don't care about you?

The young man stood up in an imposing "teng", he was not short, and exuded a frivolous aura all over his body.

"Three springs willows and yellow warblers sing, butterflies and wasps pick flowers for fragrance. The sun is warm and the wind is watching the waves of wheat, and the gentle wind is blowing past..."

The layman watched the excitement while the expert watched the doorway. Several other audience members thought that this young man sang well, so they called out "good", so they gave some applause.Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling were half-experts, Ye Ling looked at Xie Shuangchen, Xie Shuangchen's face was normal, and his heart was already crazy.

what happened?Why is the audience's opera quality so high now?Can any child sing so well when they stand up?I'm afraid I'm not here to kick the field?

Is his chanting club already popular to the point where professionals come to find fault?

No, Xie Shuangchen was delusional about being murdered.

After the boy sang, he looked at the stage triumphantly.The audience was also malicious, booing and wanting to see Xie Shuangchen's jokes, and waiting for Xie Shuangchen's next article.

Xie Shuangchen cupped his fists in the air and said, "Father!"

The audience burst into laughter.

The boy stuck his waist up, his tail was about to go up to the sky, and said: "It's good to know how powerful it is."

Ye Ling couldn't bear to say: "Little friend, his father died long ago, I don't know who is taking advantage of whom, don't be happy."

Hearing this, the boy's face turned red and he said "you you you" angrily for a long time.

The rest of the audience were about to laugh, and Xie Shuangchen imitated the young man's akimbo, swaying like a hooligan, thinking that the young man should be more tender.

After the whole show ended, there were not many spectators, and the show ended quickly.

The young man was about to leave when a teapot stood on his desk. He saw a girl standing in front of him with her hips akimbo, and said, "Young hero, please wait a while, our class leader will invite you to drink a glass of water before leaving."

"Are you sick?" The boy said no mercy to the girl, "I want to leave."

"Oh, don't go now, the leader really has something to tell you." Lu Xunhan trotted out with a sad face, followed by Cai Xunshang.Cai Xunshang didn't see clearly when he was walking, and he tripped over the bench. Lu Xunhan heard the movement, and turned back to help Cai Xunshang.

"It's okay." Cai Xunshang smiled, "It's a small scene."

Two men and a girl surrounded the boy. The boy sat on a chair with his arms folded, and said cursingly, "What's the matter? Want to retaliate? I told you that I am underage, and the law will protect me! How dare you touch me?" Let me try it alone? I can call more than 100 police officers and more than 500 reporters to seek justice for me with just a shake of the phone!"

"Stop fucking the cat." Xie Shuangchen opened the backstage curtain and walked out.He was still wearing a coat and cloth shoes with layered soles, and he was still thirsty after getting off the stage, so he still held his teacup in one hand.He took a square step, pulled a chair and sat down facing the young man. As soon as he put down the teacup, Erlang raised his legs. Cai Xun, Shang, Lu Xunhan and Shi Xiangcheng all consciously stood behind him.

With this posture, those who didn't know thought it was the prince of a family on the road.

"Tell me." Xie Shuangchen said calmly, "What's going on?"

The young man was not afraid of Xie Shuangchen, so he sat up straight and said, "What's going on?"

"Little ghost, you can sing opera reviews!" Xie Shuangchen laughed, "The ones who don't do their homework on weekends come here to find fault with me? Are you capable? What's your name? Do you want your parents to come and pick you up?"

The boy said: "You still haven't asked my parents to come to your poor place."

"Hey! You're still breaking the ground!" Xie Shuangchen raised his voice and said in a pretentious manner, "What are you doing to break the ground!"

"Don't speak like that." The boy said with disgust, "Like a eunuch."

Ye Ling happened to hear this when he came out after changing clothes, he was stunned for a moment, seeing that Xie Shuangchen's face was darkened, he couldn't help but want to laugh in his heart.Xie Shuangchen is an old Beijinger, with a strong accent, isn't he just like a great eunuch in the Qing Palace when he gets angry?

For those who can make Xie Shuangchen feel embarrassed, Ye Ling can still show favor.

A newborn calf is not afraid of tigers, it can be done.

"Let me tell you, little bastard, you don't want to come and go when you want to come and go! Kick the hall and hit the stage, right? Okay, I will let you sing here!" Xie Shuangchen threatened the children, with a bad face , "Tell your parents to come and get someone! Otherwise, don't leave! Don't care about the food! Go hungry for three days! My place is a century-old black shop!"

"Don't bully me!" The boy stood up and yelled, "My surname is Feng! Go find my parents!"

"Your surname is Feng? My surname is Long!" Shi Xiangcheng blurted out from behind.

Xie Shuangchen tapped his palm in the air, signaling Shi Xiangcheng not to speak.He carefully looked at the young man in front of him, he spoke Baoding dialect, he was very good at criticizing opera, his surname was Feng...

"I had the honor to meet Mr. Feng Chaoshan, the master of Pingju Opera." Xie Shuangchen said, "What is your relationship with him?"

The boy said proudly, "That's my grandpa!"

"Are you Feng Qi?" Xie Shuangchen said suspiciously, "No, Feng Qi should be older than me, and he doesn't sing Pingju opera. Who are you? Don't play tricks on me, let's play tricks again. you!"

"Feng Qi is my elder brother Feng Feiluan." The boy said, "I am Feng Feifei."

Several people looked at Feng Feifei curiously, Feng Feifei was annoyed, she stood on the bench and said, "What? Am I shameless?"

After a long time, Xie Shuangchen raised his head and said, "The name is very cute. Come down quickly, no matter how high you jump, no one will recognize you. I know that rebellious brother of yours. Come down and call me 'uncle'." , I will let you go."

"Why? Who are you to take advantage of me?" Feng Feifei shouted, "Where did you get the biscuits?!"

"Why are you so old or young?" Xie Shuangchen said, "My master is Xie Fangbi, who is from your grandfather's generation. You say you don't care what I call uncle or what? If you dance again, it will be regarded as destroying public property! I will give it to you." Home is on the phone!"

Feng Feifei got off the chair: "You dare to fight!"

"Oh, why am I afraid?" Xie Shuangchen stretched out his hand, "Come here! Bring me my cell phone!"

Shi Xiangcheng ran to the backstage like a dog and took the phone and handed it to Xie Shuangchen.Seeing that Xie Shuangchen was really dialing the number, Feng Feifei immediately said, "Don't call! If you hit me... I'll kowtow to death here!"

"You think I was scared too much?" Xie Shuangchen said.

"Me! Me!" Seeing that Xie Shuangchen was unmoved, Feng Feifei could only weaken and said, "I ran away from home."

"Oh, you ran away from home?" Xie Shuangchen smiled and put away his phone. In fact, he didn't know anyone from Feng's family at all, so Feng Feifei was a fool.He stood up and looked at the stool that Feng Feifei had stepped on. There was a shoe print on it, and he suddenly said, "Look at how you stepped on my stool! How can you sit on it in the future?"

Feng Feifei was startled: "Isn't this good?"

"It was defiled by you!" Xie Shuangchen said, "You have to be responsible!"

"What dick are you talking about?" Feng Feifei exploded.

"I don't care, anyway, you got into trouble today. I have high-quality mahogany furniture here, and a bench is worth a thousand dollars. How can guests sit after you step on it?" Xie Shuangchen began to open his eyes and say Nonsense, "lose money!"

"I have no money!" Feng Feifei shouted.

"No money? Then sell yourself to pay the debt!" said the black-hearted boss Xie Shuangchen.