哏儿

The rooster crows in the middle of the night.

Familiar environment, familiar people, familiar taste of instant noodles.

In the simple office of the Beixinqiao Police Station, policemen Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li sat at the table. There were two groups of people in front of them.

Xiao Zhang knocked on the table and said seriously: "We received a report call from the masses, saying that there was a fight at the Beixinqiao Yongping Theater. Tell me, what's going on?"

"Uncle Policeman!" As soon as Xiao Zhang finished speaking, Xie Shuangchen yelled like a mourner, "You have to let me make the decision! I'm doing my business well! I don't know where a group of people come and tear down my desk." ! Why is my life so miserable!"

He was crying so loudly that Xiao Li didn't know what to say, Xiao Zhang had nothing to say on his face, and quickly motioned to Ye Ling to say: "Tell him not to cry first, and talk well if you have something to say, I remember you last time You're quite calm when you come here, you can persuade her first..." Xiao Zhang doesn't know how to say, persuade her boyfriend?It was so awkward, I could only say vaguely after a long delay: "Persuade your friend."

Lu Shang's group, Chen Yang's group, Feng Feifei, and Shi Xiangcheng all followed to the police station. A fight was a fight. They were mentally prepared for all kinds of fines and detentions, but they were never prepared to watch Xie Shuangchen's play.

Shame, shame!Teacher Ye, hurry up and take care of it!

Hopeful gazes were cast on Ye Ling, and Ye Ling's eyes were flushed, and he looked very pitiful whether he would cry or not. He sucked his nose, wiped his eyes with the corner of his sleeve, and spoke softly with a choked voice. Said: "Comrade police, we can't afford to offend anyone in this small family. We don't know who we offended when we open the door for business. If you two come later, I'm afraid they will be beaten...to death!"

Everyone in the Wing Ping Club was surprised, why even Mr. Ye was in the play!

Cry and cry, why do you speak Tianjin dialect!

As soon as Xiao Zhang heard the "Comrade Policeman", his mind was buzzing, and the Tianjin dialect was even more magical.The last time one cried, this time the two cried facing each other. The young grassroots civil servants wanted to die.

Anyway, Xiao Zhang has seen the world, Xiao Li is really the first and the second eldest, and he is not so noisy when dealing with family matters.

"Police officer! It's them who spitting blood! It's obvious that they insulted us as the audience!" The elder brother who took the lead on the opposite side jumped up and said, "Our brothers came to listen to the cross talk today to have fun. They are so good, they insulted us on stage, Who have we provoked?"

Xiao Zhangyu said earnestly: "Don't call me a police officer, it's not a Hong Kong movie, but 'Comrade. The word was weird, so I quickly added: "It's 'Comrade Police'."

The shadow of being sanctioned by "comrade" has always shrouded Xiao Zhang's heart.

Xie Shuangchen said: "They did it first! Uncle policeman! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow, don't you think I'm good at fighting? Why am I so miserable!"

"Stop talking!" Ye Ling hugged Xie Shuangchen and wept silently, like a trampled flower on a high mountain, "Maybe it's because this world cannot tolerate us..."

"I rely on you two to be gay!" The one hit by Xie Shuangchen leaned on his waist and cursed, "Whoever kills who! If the police don't come again, I'm going to die! Comrade police, this grandson is holding a solid wood The chair hit me! I have injuries on my body, I can do an injury test!"

"You are bloody!" Xie Shuangchen yelled, "You smashed all the chairs in my place! You not only insulted my job, you also insulted my personality!"

"How did I insult your personality?"

"You said we were gay!" Xie Shuangchen turned his head and said to Xiao Zhang, "Comrade policeman, what age is it now, and there are still people talking about it, this is simply the biggest insult to the disadvantaged and marginalized We were born under the red flag and grew up in the spring breeze. We have contributed to the inheritance of the traditional culture of the motherland, escorted the victory of reform and opening up, contributed to the construction of spiritual civilization, and contributed to the GDP development of Dongcheng District, Beijing... We don't want half of you and half of me on the military medal, we just want to be able to live like a human being...but they!" Xie Shuangchen pointed to the group of people and cried, "It is this group of people who have denied the fruits of our labor , thus negating the value of our being human!"

He befuddled Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li for a long time.

Xiao Zhang said in his heart, what are you talking about?

Xiao Lixin said, "Brother Zhang, I don't understand, but I feel like he is very powerful."

"Fart!" The other party was obviously stunned by Xie Shuangchen, and he couldn't beat the verbal fight, so he simply said, "There must be surveillance! Let's watch the surveillance! Who the hell hit someone with a chair!"

"Look at it!" Xie Shuangchen said to Shi Xiangcheng, "Where is the monitoring, did you bring it?"

Shi Xiangcheng said: "Bring it!" She took the USB flash drive and copied it to Xiao Zhang's computer, and everyone began to watch the surveillance together.The content is from the beginning of the night to the fight at the end. In the middle of Xie Shuangchen's show, the two sides were fighting each other and could only see the screen, but there was no sound.

Just before Xie Shuangchen was about to make a move, the monitoring stopped abruptly and the screen went black.

"That's all?" Xiao Zhang asked suspiciously.

"Well, that's all." Shi Xiangcheng said, "The two of you will come right after."

"What the hell am I talking about!" said the buddy who was beaten, "Obviously there will be more!"

Shi Xiangcheng said: "That's really all there is!" She was yelled at, and she was very anxious again, so she burst into tears and said weakly: "I'm just a cleaning girl, I don't know anything, blah blah blah , why scold me...there are only so many!"

"All right, girl, don't cry first." Xiao Zhang still gave great courtesy and respect to the only woman present, and spoke in a pleasant manner.He pulled a chair over and said to Shi Xiangcheng, "Come on, sit down first."

In fact, Xie Shuangchen had arranged for Shi Xiangcheng to do this. As soon as something was smashed there, Shi Xiangcheng turned off the monitor in the background.Anyway, if there is no, there is no, and it is not a criminal case. Ordinary policemen will not break the casserole and ask the bottom line.

As for why the police came so quickly, Xie Shuangchen guessed that this group of people might have already called the police and wanted to catch them.But after all the calculations, how did this group of troublemakers know that the policeman who was on duty was an old acquaintance of Xie Shuangchen?

God's will cannot be violated.

Now there are already three people from the Yongping Club crying wildly at the police station, and the other party's debaters are furious, but they are all a group of old men, so they can't imitate these shameless things and use tears to win sympathy, right?

Make them cry too?Impossible, absolutely impossible!

"They, they came here on purpose to find trouble." Xie Shuangchen cried endlessly, "Look at that video, at the beginning he even gave something to the stage, do you think this thing can have a good one!"

Lu Xunhan said: "I brought the things, we dare not dismantle them backstage, why don't you take them apart and have a look."

Xiao Zhang looked through the monitor, and sure enough, a man handed a box to a girl, apparently asking for help to deliver it.He looked at the box in Lu Xunhan's hand again, and it was exactly the same, with no trace of unpacking.

Xiao Zhang didn't dare to dismantle this thing.In case there are any bombs and the like, wouldn't they all be abolished?But he couldn't show this matter on his face, so he could only give the box to those people with a stern face.

"Unpack!" he shouted.

The few people looked at each other, one of them reluctantly took the box, and shyly opened it, but did not lift the cover.

"Open it!" Xiao Zhang urged.

"...Open it." The elder brother who took the lead said to the younger brother.

The younger brother was so helpless that he could only lift it open.

Inside is a shroud.

Xiao Zhang cried out in surprise!

"Uncle Policeman!" Xie Shuangchen reacted quickly, seeing this unlucky thing inside, and cried even more vigorously, "You have to decide for us! They are trying to force us to death!"

"What's going on!" Xiao Zhang was really going crazy, why did he deal with the case so well at night, like a scene in a ghost movie.

Let no one sleep tonight!

Xiao Zhang hurriedly memorized the socialist core values ​​several times in his heart.

He could see this matter, these gangsters were obviously here to find fault, and now there is no evidence, only the wounds on their bodies and the box of shrouds in their hands.

There is no evidence to prove that the injury was done by people from the Yongping Society.

Xiao Zhang simply stopped asking Xie Shuangchen, and asked those who were not crying over there: "They said you insulted the audience, is there such a thing?"

"How dare we insult the audience, the audience is our bread and butter." Cai Xunshang took out his mobile phone, and someone had already posted their videos tonight on Weibo, so he randomly picked a few to show Xiao Zhang , "Look, we are just joking with the audience, but they have been scolding us down there. It's extremely ugly, and we didn't scold us."

Xiao Zhang looked at the video on Weibo, it was Xie Shuangchen's video.He thought to himself, this guy is quite funny, so he forced himself not to laugh, coughed, and asked the other group of people seriously: "Do you have anything else to say?"

Seeing that they were hit, those people immediately understood and didn't say a word.

Xiao Zhang saw that there were hundreds of forwarded comments on Weibo, and he was a little surprised.You must know that these ordinary three-dimensional humans play Weibo just to watch the excitement, the number of Weibo fans can be counted with one hand, hundreds of retweets... This is a big new media player!

big case!important case!Can't deal with it casually!If this group of provocateurs are not dealt with seriously, if someone exposes them and makes a fuss on the Internet, he doesn't want to be humanized on the Internet!The policemen and the fish and water family are dear!

He wants to safeguard the honor of the capital's people's police, keep Beijing safe, and serve the people!

Xiao Zhang and Xiao Li discussed for a long time, and those who caused trouble were detained first, and the Yongping Society had to call the family members to pick up the people.Everyone stared wide-eyed. When it comes to family members, I am afraid that only Yang Qirui and Chen Xu can call them.

The problem is that these two old brothers ran out to talk about cross talk behind their backs. It is a blessing that they have not returned so late and have not been treated as middle-aged cheating.

Call someone to the police station?Can't make it through?

When everyone was shifting their gazes to each other, Feng Feifei suddenly burst into tears.

Xiao Zhang is crazy, really crazy, he plans to ask for sick leave with the leader tomorrow, counting now, there is already a fourth crying in this room, if he is alone, he will have a nervous breakdown!

"Uncle Policeman!" Feng Feifei cried pitifully, his cat's eyes were filled with water, the kind of grievance of a young man was especially distressing, "I have no family, I..."

"Okay, okay, I get it! Don't talk about it!" Xiao Zhang can make up the rest of the content by himself. He must have no relatives, no friends, and no one to rely on for a living. The fate of the mandarin duck.

Who are the people in this chanting society?Under the banner of talking about cross talk, it is actually a nursing home for the elderly, weak, sick and disabled?

Why in the world can there be a group of such hard-working people together?

Those who hear it are sad and those who see it cry.

In the end, under the farce of everyone crying, making trouble and hanging themselves, Xiao Zhang had to let the group of Yongping Club go.If they don't let it go, they will turn the police station into a crematorium. Who can bear to cry until dawn?

Everyone stopped crying immediately after they walked out of the police station. Instead, they felt a little refreshed, as if they had won a battle.

"I said, Lao Han." Xie Shuangchen rubbed his eyes. He cried the most just now, and the scene was a bit too much. After coming out, he thought it was not old enough, "You are unlucky this time, I specially asked you to accept it." I didn’t expect to open a box of shrouds.”

Lu Xunhan cried: "I, I..."

Feng Feifei said: "But the rich man took it when it came out."

Xie Shuangchen said: "The case has been solved! How can I open this thing?"

Cai Xunshang said, "None of my business!"

"Ms. Ye is still the most awesome. He can actually cry. It's just a collapse of human design." Shi Xiangcheng said, "Ms. Ye's play is really...well, it's unexpected."

Ye Ling said calmly, "I'm also an acquaintance once and acquainted second time."

Xie Shuangchen looked at the time and said, "Let's not talk about anything else, Brother Yang and Brother Chen, you two should go back quickly, what time is it, sisters-in-law didn't call?"

"Who would dare to pick you up at the police station?" Yang Qirui said, "Hey, let's not talk about it. We'll go and talk later when we meet again, or we should really be divorced." He smiled, and Chen Xu also waved to them. Waving, the two took a taxi and left together.

"Middle-aged family life is so involuntary." Cai Xunshang sighed.

"People with black hands should not lament life." Xie Shuangchen said, "It's okay today, everyone is gone! Sausage, you will post the closure announcement tomorrow."

"How many days?" Shi Xiangcheng asked.

"We won't be working this week." Xie Shuangchen said, "Then you ask someone to clean it up, and it will start again next week."

Shi Xiangcheng nodded: "OK."

"Let's all go back." Xie Shuangchen said.

Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling went home late at night, and as soon as they entered the door, Xie Shuangchen went to pick Ye Ling's clothes.

"What are you doing?" Ye Ling was puzzled, "Crazy?"

"You tell me to take a look." Xie Shuangchen said, "I saw that grandson hit you."

"It's okay." Ye Ling said, "I don't feel anything myself." He couldn't beat Xie Shuangchen, so he took off his clothes and sat on the bed with his back arched.There was a large bruise on his back, Xie Shuangchen didn't dare to touch it, and said angrily: "You still say it doesn't hurt after all this."

"Walking and bumping into a wall can be like this." Ye Ling said, "What a big deal."

Xie Shuangchen said: "I should have let go of that grandson if I knew it earlier."

"Hey, why are you so capable?" Ye Ling put on her clothes, turned around and touched Xie Shuangchen's face, "You are capable."

Xie Shuangchen held Ye Ling's hand and kissed it, and said, "For you, I can even kill and set fire."

Ye Ling said: "I don't tell you to kill and set fire, I tell you to be careful. Don't do anything next time, just smash something. The tables, chairs and benches are only a few dollars, and then I will open your head. What do you want me to do?" manage?"

"Don't worry, I won't ask you to sing about the widow going to the grave." Xie Shuangchen said, "I have a plan in my heart."

Ye Ling said: "I mean that you have to sign every time you pay your salary. Last time, you were in arrears for a long time because of your hospitalization."

"..." Xie Shuangchen was speechless.

Ye Ling was just joking with him, seeing his cute reaction, she felt much lighter, and asked, "Do you know where those people came from? Is it your second senior brother?"

"At first I thought it was Second Senior Brother." Xie Shuangchen said, "But after opening the box of shrouds, I knew it wasn't him."

"Why?" Ye Ling asked.

"Even though Second Senior Brother is quite annoying, he often criticizes and scolds Huai Huai in a strange manner, but at most he uses methods that make him feel old-fashioned, such as controlling public opinion, or using some power to suppress me." Xie Shuangchen analyzed, "Giving a shroud is too low-spirited. Well, after all he's a decent guy and wouldn't do that."

"Then who else?" Ye Ling thought, "We haven't offended anyone else."

Xie Shuangchen poked Ye Ling's forehead: "Call out to Senior Brother to listen."

Ye Ling said: "You like to talk or not."

"Oh my good brother, why don't I tell you?" Xie Shuangchen's tone was frivolous, but his expression was not so relaxed, "Second senior brother himself would not do such a thing, but it does not mean that the people around him would not. Think about it, he has apprentices and students, and there are so many others. The interest relationship is very complicated. Will those people let us go? Not necessarily. Who around him did it for the sake of being courteous. Anyway, he won't know what happened in the middle, he will only know that we were smashed."

"So that's how it is." Ye Ling said, "Your family is really rich and mysterious."

"Xinmi's fart, I'm just poor." Xie Shuangchen got up and went to the next room for a walk, and when he came back, he had an extra bottle of safflower oil in his hand, "Come on, rub it for you."

Ye Ling lay down obediently, and Xie Shuangchen's hand moved across his back, with moderate strength and very comfortable, which made him relax a lot after being tense all night.

"Ms. Ye, you scared me today too." Xie Shuangchen said.

Ye Ling asked: "What's wrong?"

"I really didn't expect you to be able to fight with me in the police station." Xie Shuangchen said, "It's really surprising, really. I think you are a cultivated and cultural person, and you don't bother to flirt with others shamelessly like me."

"It's nothing." Ye Ling said lightly, "I can't let you fight there alone, can I?"

"I……"

"Don't you think I won't change for you?" Ye Ling asked suddenly.

Xie Shuangchen stopped what he was doing, and Ye Ling realized that Xie Shuangchen hadn't moved, so she turned to look at him.

"What's wrong?" Ye Ling bent her legs and touched Xie Shuangchen.

Xie Shuangchen kissed Ye Ling forward, and said in his ear: "It's okay, I just feel that I love you so much. You are so nice, and I can even chase you. It's unbelievable to think about it."

"Nicky." Ye Ling smiled, patted Xie Shuangchen's head and said, "I'm just an ordinary person, so you treat me like a treasure."

Xie Shuangchen said, "You are the treasure."

"Okay, okay." Ye Ling whispered, "You are my baby too."

During the days when the Wing Ping Club is closed, everyone communicates online.

Life with performances every night is actually very stressful, and the days of being closed are considered holidays.Xie Shuangchen drafted a recruitment introduction and asked Shi Xiangcheng to post it, but he didn't leave the computer, and seemed to be thinking hard about a document.

"You want to write something?" Ye Ling asked.

Xie Shuangchen nodded: "Write a public relations draft."

Ye Ling said: "For what? Where did you post it?"

"Of course it's for the accusations and slanders I've encountered on the Internet during this period of time, and what happened last night." Xie Shuangchen explained, "Didn't I ignore the second senior brother when he was making a fuss before and planned to infiltrate him? Now I feel like I should come out and say a few words."

"Have you got a general idea?"

"Yes." Xie Shuangchen said, "But I feel like I hate books when I'm used to them. I can dictate a lot of things by myself, but it feels like writing..." He thought for a while, but didn't know how to describe it.

"Not advanced?" Ye Ling asked, "Still not sharp enough?"

Xie Shuangchen said, "A little bit."

Ye Ling patted Xie Shuangchen on the shoulder: "I'll write for you what you said you wanted to write."

"Okay." Xie Shuangchen immediately stood up, moved a chair and sat next to him, "I think the central idea must be to express that I did not commit any acts of deceiving teachers and destroying ancestors, everything is framed by some people with ulterior motives. Of course, I don't want to simply sell misery, because unilaterally selling misery can easily cause discomfort to passers-by. It's not social news about dead parents and mothers, passers-by may not care about it. I think we still have to put a hat on..."

"Promote traditional culture." Ye Ling said, "To achieve harmony and win-win, don't always have someone who wants to jump out to dominate the world. In the final analysis, it still depends on the overall development of traditional industries, right?"

"That's it!" Xie Shuangchen clapped his hands, "In terms of diction, the general style is decent but not bitch, respecting each other but civilized scolding, smiling as if you have been wronged without twitching, and covering up the pain in your heart with laughter , but also a little bit of dignity and the bottom line to awaken the sympathy of the broad masses of the people."

After hearing Xie Shuangchen's request, Ye Ling smiled and said, "Absolutely, what's the difference between you and the colorful black?"

"I think this style suits you very well!" Xie Shuangchen said, "Aren't you swearing harder than me?"

Ye Ling said: "Where do scholars call scolding when they scold others?"

"What's that called?" Xie Shuangchen asked.

"Just wait and see." Ye Ling began to tap forcefully on the keyboard with both hands.