哏儿

Of course it is impossible for Xie Shuangchen to get out, this is his house, why not go out and drink the northwest wind?

Seeing Ye Ling's angry look, he sighed, rummaged through the TV cabinet for a long time, took out a white envelope, handed it to Ye Ling, and said, "I thought I'd give it to you in two days, but I caught up with you today. Let's see."

"What?" Ye Ling asked.

"Open it and have a look." Xie Shuangchen handed the envelope again.

Ye Ling took it suspiciously and opened it. Inside was a thin piece of rice paper, a whole page of teeny small script, and wrote "Ye Lingqing reads it, and the words are like words."Ye Ling was startled, and looked at Xie Shuangchen, Xie Shuangchen raised his chin, motioning Ye Ling to look on.Ye Ling's reading speed is not slow, and there are not many words in the letter. It just briefly described how the villain Xie Shuangchen did not do his job properly, and how he was frivolous. In order that the younger generations can support each other and go on.

In the end, it was signed with the words "Xie Fangbi" and a private seal was stamped, which is quite formal.

Ye Ling read it several times, digested it for a long time, and then asked: "What does this mean?"

"You said it yourself, forgot?" Xie Shuangchen imitated Ye Ling's tone and said, "Why, my master is not highly respected? He has already interceded, and you want to refute his old man's face?"

"Xie Shuangchen, you didn't do this." Ye Ling really didn't know what to say, it seemed that Xie Shuangchen could always refresh his bottom line of cognition and do some irrelevant things.

"Aren't I going to be fine after doing this? I managed to convince Master to help me, so don't play tricks on me." Xie Shuangchen bent down, put his hands on his knees, and his eyes were exactly at the same level as Ye Ling who was sitting. He smiled and said, "I have fulfilled all your requests. When we get along for a long time, it is not impossible for Master Aiwujiwu to accept you. I really advise you to agree. Reservedness is not like this. .Don’t try to reason with me anymore, although I can win the world championship by reasoning, but I really don’t like reasoning, that’s all there is to be patient.” His index finger and thumb were pinched together, “All for You see, do you understand?"

The two looked at each other, Xie Shuangchen had a smile in his eyes, but he was extremely firm.Ye Ling blinked, feeling panicked.In terms of reasoning, it is true that I said what I said before, and Xie Shuangchen followed suit.He took it as a casual mention, but he didn't expect Xie Fangbi to dote on Xie Shuangchen so far.It was really irresponsible for him to go back on his word at this time.

At this moment, Xie Shuangchen took on the posture of a demon king in the world, as if if Ye Ling didn't agree, he wouldn't even think about leaving the room today.

All kinds of social news came to mind, Ye Ling softened a little, lowered his eyes, and read the letter in his hand for a while, thinking about the conversation between Wang Zheng and him.This circle is not big, if he really wants to hang out, the Xie family is indeed a good place to rely on.If he insisted on going against Xie Shuangchen, what would he do if he only wanted to show Xie Shuangchen's face in the past, but now he also needs to add Xie Fangbi?

Tangled, confused, apprehensive...all kinds of emotions entangled in Ye Ling's body, he raised his eyes to look at Xie Shuangchen, and before his eyes came the appearance of Xie Shuangchen when he sang a song last night as a child, as well as Xie Shuangchen's imagination.

"Hey." Ye Ling sighed, and gently put the letter on the table, "That's it."

"Then you agreed?" Xie Shuangchen asked.

Ye Ling turned her head slightly, and muffled "um", as if she was not particularly willing.

"Great!" Xie Shuangchen felt relieved, very happy, and didn't care about these details, "Then you can stay with me, it's convenient for us to communicate, and it saves the trouble of running around. By the way, you are free on weekends What? We still have a lot to prepare."

"Preparing for what?" Ye Ling didn't know what Xie Shuangchen was bluffing about.

"You will know when the time comes." Xie Shuangchen said very mysteriously.

On the weekend, Xie Shuangchen drove Ye Ling to the Drum Tower.

That place wasn't very good for parking, so Xie Shuangchen found a place to throw the car away, took Ye Ling across the street, and came to a private custom shop.Xie Shuangchen opened the door and led Ye Ling in. Ye Ling asked curiously, "What is this?"

"I'll buy some clothes for you." Xie Shuangchen said with a smile.

There are quaint cheongsam Chinese tunic suits on display in the store, and the decoration is also Chinese style. You can still smell the faint fragrance of jasmine on the tip of your nose.Ye Ling looked around and saw a young man coming out.He was wearing a white shirt, dark plaid suit pants, and a pair of brogues.His sleeves were neatly rolled up to his elbows, a measuring tape was hung around his neck, and a pen was pinned to his breast pocket.

He was dressed in petty bourgeois and elegant clothes, but he had an inviolable, indifferent and powerful aura.

The young man adjusted his round gold-rimmed glasses and said, "Here?"

"Well, here we come." Xie Shuangchen greeted him, and then pulled Ye Ling in front of him, "Xiao Meng, come to measure us?"

Zhao Mengru swept Ye Ling up and down with his eyes, Ye Ling looked a little nervous, and didn't dare to move where he stood.

"Use the plain crepe satin you ordered earlier?" Zhao Mengru dexterously traced Ye Ling's body with a tape measure, but asked Xie Shuangchen, "You haven't come for a long time."

Xie Shuangchen said with a smile: "Didn't I come here? This time, you can do two more sets, ours. Oh, by the way, I don't need to measure again, right?"

Zhao Mengru looked at Xie Shuangchen and shook his head: "No need."

He didn't talk much, just played with Ye Ling, silently recorded the size, turned his head and entered the back room, ignoring others.Ye Ling looked at Xie Shuangchen in confusion, and Xie Shuangchen explained: "Xiao Meng's father was my master's tailor, and his skills are quite good. In recent years, the business has gradually been handed over to Xiao Meng. Don't look at him young, not only Guys, many celebrities come to him to make clothes. Xiaomeng is especially good at making cheongsams..."

Ye Ling interrupted him: "It's just a coat, as for being so... grand?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "Of course, our Teacher Ye must take good care of him?"

Zhao Mengru came out, and handed over the cloth samples in his hand for them to choose.Ye Ling doesn't pay much attention to these things, the gowns she wears on stage are all bought from Taobao, as long as they fit the size.Seeing Xie Shuangchen's serious appearance, he couldn't help feeling that it was unnecessary.

"I want this black one, and frost white one. Mrs. Ye is white, these two colors will definitely look good." Xie Shuangchen pointed, then looked back, his eyes lit up, and he said with a smile, "Here is another set of concubine color." Yes."

Zhao Mengru was expressionless and did not speak.Ye Ling frowned immediately: "Are you okay? Why are you wearing red!"

Xie Shuangchen said very seriously: "I like red."

"Then you wear it, I don't." Ye Ling refused, "I don't like it."

Xie Shuangchen completely ignored Ye Ling's words, and said to Zhao Mengru: "Please take care of these three colors, Xiaomeng!"

Zhao Mengru nodded, and then said the number to Xie Shuangchen.Xie Shuangchen said indifferently: "Okay, just swipe into my card."

Ye Ling was already awkward, but when she heard the price, her eyes turned dark, and she deeply realized Xie Shuangchen's level of playfulness.

Three sets of coats are enough for him to rent a house for a year!

Seeing Ye Ling's gloomy expression, Xie Shuangchen didn't feel right, so he chatted casually with Zhao Mengru and quickly dragged him outside the shop.

"Are you burning your hands with too much money?" Ye Ling asked.

"Not really, just a gift for you." Xie Shuangchen said, "We'll pick out fans later, red sandalwood, white sandalwood, boxwood and nanmu, which one do you like? Oh, by the way, I should ask Xiaomeng to cut another piece for me The white brocade is for you to use as a handkerchief."

"I just like the ones that cost ten yuan apiece on Taobao!" Ye Ling said, "What are you so particular about?"

His voice was a bit loud, as if he was yelling at Xie Shuangchen.Xie Shuangchen was startled, and with a twist of the corner of his mouth, he lowered his head slightly. He was tall, so such a gesture seemed extremely aggrieved.

"It's not about being poor." Xie Shuangchen said in a low voice, "I just want to give you all the good things. Don't dislike me, okay?" He had a Tianjin accent on the last word "chengba", which suddenly seemed to be Playful.Ye Ling couldn't hold back after hearing this, smiled helplessly, and said, "You are young, don't spend money so lavishly, it's not a good habit."

As soon as Ye Ling smiled, Xie Shuangchen also smiled, pulled Ye Ling and said like a rascal: "Money is something outside of the body, it comes and goes, I understand Teacher Ye's kindness, but ah...you don't care!"

"Who cares about you, who cares about you." Ye Ling patted Xie Shuangchen, "Get lost!"

The gown is handmade and it will take some time to make it. Ye Ling will have a performance in a teahouse the next day.

In fact, since Wang Zheng got married, he has gradually stopped acting. This time, he made an appointment to cooperate with Wang Zheng to have fun as a formal end.

Xie Shuangchen wanted to send Ye Ling to the teahouse desperately, and the reason was that even if he didn't ask to send him off, he still had to go to the teahouse to listen to Ye Ling's cross talk, so don't bother running twice.Ye Ling thought it was the same, so she stopped haggling with Xie Shuangchen.

As soon as they arrived at the teahouse, Xie Shuangchen followed Ye Ling into the backstage.In fact, it is a small room that can be used by actors who come to perform to change clothes and rest.There are a variety of performances in the teahouse, some are playing the zither and the pipa, some are talking about storytelling and singing drums, and there are not too many cross talks.

Ye Ling put on the black cotton coat he always liked to wear, cloth shoes with laminated soles, and sat quietly waiting for Wang Zheng.

He didn't speak, Xie Shuangchen had nothing to say: "What do you do today?"

""Guan Gong Fights Qin Qiong"." Ye Ling replied simply.

"Oh! "Guan Gong Fighting Qin Qiong"!" Xie Shuangchen said, "This job is good." Just as he was about to express his opinion, Ye Ling's cell phone rang.

Ye Ling answered, humming a few times, her expression gradually became a little ugly.After hanging up, Xie Shuangchen asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." Ye Ling said flatly, "Brother Zheng said on the road that he had to work overtime suddenly, so he couldn't come."

"Ah? Then what should we do?" Xie Shuangchen asked exaggeratedly.

"..." Ye Ling thought for a while, then stood up, "I'll go tell the boss to change the stand-up, and I'll deal with it myself."

"Are you really clueless or are you just pretending not to understand!" Xie Shuangchen grabbed Ye Ling, "Your joker is standing in front of you, but you plan to talk about it? Is there any reason?"

"You?" Ye Ling raised her eyebrows and looked at Xie Shuangchen, "Do you know?"

"..." Xie Shuangchen went crazy, he couldn't understand why Ye Ling always felt that he knew nothing, "Why don't I know the classics like "Guan Gong Fighting Qin Qiong"? Don't talk about it, just talk about Liu Huo Mother-in-law playing with each other, you just pick one out, and I'll tell you right away without saying a word."

Ye Ling looked at Xie Shuangchen for a long time with her sleeves on, and twisted her chin: "Brother Zheng's coat is in the cabinet, you can change it."

"Okay!" Xie Shuangcheng hurriedly went to get the clothes.Wang Zheng was shorter than him, and Xie Shuangchen wore his gown with a hollow hem that just reached his ankles, making him look ridiculous.Ye Ling couldn't help but turn her head sideways when she saw it, and smiled with her mouth half covered.

"Then what..." Xie Shuangchen has always been suave in a coat, and he has never worn a coat on his feet when he grows so big. , I'm afraid of you..."

"No." Ye Ling turned around, "There's not enough time, it's time to play. Besides, didn't you just pick it up and practice? I'm not good at learning, so please support me more on stage." He opened the door to the stage. Curtain, turned to Xie Shuangchen and smiled.

With a polite smile, Xie Shuangchen felt that he was going to be hit.

Going on stage, bowing, there was no applause from the audience, everyone drank tea and chatted.

Xie Shuangchen was not surprised, Ye Ling got used to it.

Although they have never partnered before, they both understand a truth in their hearts.On the stage, Xie Shuangchen is not Xie Shuangchen, Ye Ling is not Ye Ling, they are A and B, mainly for the amusement of everyone.Xie Shuangchen cleared his throat, and finally started: "Today we two will perform a cross talk for you. You may not be familiar with me. Let me introduce myself first, and let me declare that I am not a trainee running around to talk about cross talk. Appearance is only a very small part of my many advantages. My name is Xie Shuangchen, and this one next to me..." He pointed at Ye Ling, and Ye Ling asked naturally: "Say."

"...I'm here for the first time today and I don't know what it's called."

"Then what are you trying to do!" Ye Ling's dislike for Xie Shuangchen was always sincere.

"No, just kidding." Xie Shuangchen greeted Ye Ling lightly, "I don't know you yet! Isn't this our teacher Ye Ling!"

Ye Ling rolled her eyes: "Then I still don't know how to stay."

"University bully." Xie Shuangchen continued, "Graduated from graduate school, highly educated. It doesn't matter what university you got into. Tell me which school you are from?"

Ye Ling put one hand on the table, slightly turned to Xie Shuangchen, looked at him and said indifferently: "Peking University."

"Not from Tsinghua?"

"Well, I'm afraid of embarrassing my alma mater." Ye Ling said, "I have to go to the next door."

Xie Shuangchen didn't have a very deep understanding of the grievances and grievances in the circle of colleges and universities on Xueyuan Road. He never went to college, and at most he just joined in the fun.

"That's also a college bully." He said, "Then I will test you? Tell me, what are the four subjects of cross talk?"

As soon as Ye Ling heard this, she knew that there was a trap in it: "Looking at your face, you must not be talking about learning to sing. Let me think about it, cheating?"

"No."

"Eating, drinking, whoring and gambling?"

"No." Xie Shuangchen said, "Oh, why did you say this? You want to be broad-minded, do you know that?"

"Open?" Ye Ling was very cautious, "Coquettish and cheap?"

Xie Shuangchen pinched his fingers and said, "Let me give you a little hint."

"You say."

"Let's talk, learn and sing, this is what the old gentlemen learned." Xie Shuangchen said seriously, "We young people now have four lessons for young people. You should think carefully in this young direction. think?"

Ye Ling didn't bother to think about it, nor did she bother to start a conversation: "You just talk."

"QWER!" Xie Shuangchen said.

"..." What is this all about?Ye Ling complained, "I also banned cigarettes and ran away drugs!"

"Hey, the college bully is still playing e-sports? You are two doors if you smoke and run poisonously." Xie Shuangchen raised two fingers and gestured, "What do you usually like to play? Nuan Nuan travels around the world or Happy Landlords ?”

"Not at all." Ye Ling shook her head, not resisting the pit Xie Shuangchen buried at all.Xie Shuangchen was also a little suspicious, not knowing how Ye Ling would pick it up, so he asked, "Then what sports do you like to play?"

Ye Ling said, "WeChat."

Xie Shuangchen paused: "Why is WeChat called e-sports?"

"Look, first of all, is this WeChat on electronic products? Does it rely on the Internet?" Ye Ling began to explain.These two points are satisfied, Xie Shuangchen nodded. "Then I chat with my girlfriend all day long, and what she says I can't answer instinctively, or she is a straight male bot. I have to think hard for a long time, and give full play to all my ingenuity and wisdom to fight with her. It's fun to fight with others Infinity is just like playing chess and cards, tell me, is this puzzle game considered a competition?"

"It's okay."

Ye Ling clapped her hands: "Isn't WeChat just e-sports?"

"Then I'll still get 800 points from Taobao Double Eleven King!" Xie Shuangchen said, "I've been single for 20 years, so what's the point?"

Ye Ling didn't argue with him at all, and said in agreement: "Then you say yes."

There was finally laughter in the audience, because what they both said was very close to real life, and the audience resonated with them, and they all wanted to hear how they could continue to talk, so they attracted their attention.

This is a good thing, but Xie Shuangchen felt a little uncomfortable, Ye Ling was just confronting him.Either you don't take his burden, or you take it and rub it, rub it and throw him to the ground, whatever embarrassment comes.The two of you said one sentence to each other, and this paragraph of conversation alone lasted for 10 minutes, all of which were instant hangups.The audience is happy to hear it, he is very bitter!

The main part of "Guan Gong Fighting Qin Qiong" is the story of the troupe going to the hall to sing. It doesn't matter what the cross talk actors say in front of it.

Xie Shuangchen was struggling to talk about everything, from e-sports to what young people like now, from what young people like to idol artists, from idol artists to fan circle culture, and from fan circle culture Hold the horn before arriving.

Seeing that he could get into a real job from the supporting role, Ye Ling suddenly said: "Hey, what kind of poisonous fans of those idol boy groups you just mentioned, I didn't understand, can you explain?" Is it?"

Alright, has this been a topic for a few years?Teacher Ye doesn't think it's too much dirt to pick it up?

Ye Ling really didn't dislike it, he did it on purpose.Xie Shuangchen always looked swearing, he just wanted to see how capable he was on stage.

Xie Shuangchen was calm at this time, and explained seriously: "This Du Wei, even if the whole world only likes you, it's useless for others to say that you are breaking the sky."

"What kind of liking is that?" Ye Ling said, "You want to learn from it?"

"This..." Xie Shuangcheng smiled, winking like silk, "This is not very good."

Ye Ling asked: "What's wrong?"

"...Then let me learn. For example, you are an idol, and I am a fan of your Duwei, so it must be like this." Xie Shuangchen suddenly took a step forward and unbuttoned Ye Ling's coat.After all, Taobao Double Eleven King's 800-point professional player, Ye Ling hadn't realized it yet, so she asked Xie Shuangchen to undo the two buttons, and the hem was lifted up for him.

"Why, what are you doing!" Ye Ling didn't expect Xie Shuangchen to make a move, and she didn't play this trick on stage, so she ran back immediately and pushed Xie Shuangchen away, "Speak up, why are you picking my clothes!"

Xie Shuangchen said innocently: "Didn't you let me learn it! Isn't that just to sleep with my brother!"

"I asked you to learn this?" Ye Ling scolded, "Is it plausible! Do you chase after stars like this? Why haven't I seen it? Are you crazy?"

"My brother's scolding look is also a peerless beauty!" Xie Shuangchen said coyly, "He is full of handsome factors from head to toe! Every frame is so touching! Stop exuding your charm! Don't complain about fans Du Wei! Hug me!" He opened his arms exaggeratedly and ran towards Ye Ling.

Ye Ling raised her foot and kicked Xie Shuangchen's leg, and gave Xie Shuangchen a stagger: "You should hurry up and die, I hope heaven does not have me."

This sudden sentence made the audience laugh out loud, and everyone listened attentively to the two of them having fun, even the boss sat down with a handful of melon seeds and chugged.

"Hey, hey! Why don't you know how to be funny!" Xie Shuangchen got up, "That was called Rainbow Fart just now!"

"I don't care what your fart is!" Ye Ling brushed off his sleeves, "Speak well, before you continue, what is a dumpling?"

"It's simple." Xie Shuangchen bent down and patted his buttocks, and then turned his arms to the sky.

"What do you mean?" Ye Ling asked, "Fart in the sky?"

"Where! This is what describes group fans." Xie Shuangchen explained, "A gathering is a pile of shit, and a scattering is a sky full of stars!"

"I've never heard of it!" Ye Ling wanted to kick Xie Shuangchen from the bottom of her heart this time.If there was a star chasing girl sitting below, she might rush to the stage to kick Xie Shuangchen with him, is there such a disgusting person?

However, on the stage of cross talk, it hurts others and hurts oneself, and all kinds of copying and selling are not the truth.If the spectators take this seriously, it would be too embarrassing for themselves.

"I was just joking. But you can also see that it is difficult to chase stars now. People know many things. If you don't understand it, it is really easy to make jokes." Xie Shuangchen continued, "In the old days, chasing stars was called holding a horn. Now the little girl's set is left over from others' play. The troupe from before..."

He got involved with the theater troupe, and was about to start working again, but Ye Ling stopped him again: "Then how did you hold the roles before?"

Xie Shuangchen asked the sky speechlessly, what should I do if my partner refuses to live with me!