哏儿

Li Ke and Qiu Ming were still standing at the door like two fools.

"What should I do?" Li Ke whispered, "Did you bring the Allegro?"

Qiu Ming said: "Aren't you talking nonsense? Who goes out with an allegro? Are you crazy?"

"Then how do you gather customers?" Li Ke said, "I just learned from books, but I haven't practiced it. I don't know how to write like Baisha."

Qiu Ming said: "Think about what you usually see on the main road and stop to take a look?"

Li Ke thought for a while: "It was a fight."

"Then why don't we try it?" Qiu Ming said, "Anyway... it's embarrassing enough to talk about cross talk on the main road."

Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling who were far away couldn't hear their conversation. If Xie Shuangchen heard Qiu Ming's words, he would explode on the spot.In fact, Qiu Ming can't be blamed for this. They received school education, and although they learned everything, they didn't receive a very orthodox family education like Xie Shuangchen since they were young.

After all, the academic school and the family school are not the same.

"Tell me, how long have they had ink stains?" Xie Shuangchen had already eaten a pie in his hand, and he felt that if these two people were still standing there like insurance sellers, he might need to buy some more snacks to eat.

Ye Ling looked at the time: "There are four or ten minutes left, we should leave."

Xie Shuangchen said: "I feel that you are not interested in them?"

"No." Ye Ling said, "Actually, I still have an impression of their previous performances. The funny stage performance style of Li Ke is quite bad, but it's actually a bit like you."

"Don't listen, don't listen!" Xie Shuangchen covered his ears and shook his head violently, "You actually said that others are like me! Am I not your unique treasure?"

"Can you stop beating on the main road? I'm really going to be homophobic if you look like this again!" Ye Ling took a step to distance herself from Xie Shuangchen, "You're so handsome, you're so bad, you have all four doors no?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "Oh, then you can continue talking."

Ye Ling snorted and said, "Don't worry, no matter how bad he is, he won't be as bad as you."

Xie Shuangchen cupped his fists and said, "You're flattering me."

"Virtue." Ye Ling continued, "I don't have much impression of that Qiu Ming. But at present, the two of them have not said a word. I plan to see three points. If it is still like this, then there is nothing to worry about. observed."

"I think so too." Xie Shuangchen was talking, when the two over there suddenly started fighting.Xie Shuangchen didn't know what happened, and subconsciously ran forward to look, Ye Ling grabbed him and said, "Wait."

Li Ke yelled: "You must be sick! I said to buy a Big Mac, but you said there is no super value package! I said to buy a children's paradise meal, and you said that you will not give away One Piece toys!"

"The children's paradise meal is from KFC!" Qiu Ming shouted.

"Did I let you talk!" Li Ke said, "And my chocolate sundae!"

Qiu Ming said: "You are an undercover agent hired by KFC, right? McDonald's is Xindi!"

"What do I care?" Li Ke was about to hit Qiu Ming, "It's sunny today and the wind is breezy. I'm going out to eat McDonald's, and you've disturbed me!" Because it was loud enough, people around had already stopped to see what happened to these two people thing.Li Ke glanced out of the corner of his eye, and said to everyone: "Big fellows, how can someone be so incomprehensible to air? I'm happy to order children's paradise meals and sundaes in McDonald's, if you have the ability, throw me out!" "

Qiu Ming said: "Aren't you outside right now?"

"I'll go in again!" Li Ke said.

"Then I wish you safety in and out." Qiu Ming replied.Because his tone is very yin and yang, this sentence is particularly meaningful.

Xie Shuangchen asked Ye Ling: "Isn't McDonald's really called Children's Paradise Meal?"

"...how would I know." Ye Ling's mind flashed the strange and disgusted eyes of the waiter when ordering food.

The two chattered there, and seemed a little nervous at first, but when going into the sea, they would always hold their clothes before taking off their clothes. Once they took off their clothes and recognized this reality, it would be easy to let themselves go.They gradually shifted to the main work of "Business On".Because the overwhelming confrontation ahead successfully made the audience stop, and the passers-by in Tianjin themselves are very funny, and they are willing to listen to these two people talking about cross talk.

"I think it's okay." Xie Shuangchen was about to express his opinion when someone bumped him from behind.He let out an "oops" and shouted, "Well!"

"Sorry, sorry!" The guy who bumped into him was a little brother, wearing Haidilao's uniform, "I ran too fast and didn't see you, so I'm really sorry! Are you okay?"

Because the other party was polite and polite, Xie Shuangchen couldn't chat with him, so he could only ask, "What's the matter, are you running in such a hurry?"

The little brother said: "Aren't there fights over there? The customers in our store want to know why there is a fight, so I'll come out and have a look, and then I'll go back and tell the customers."

Xie Shuangchen was taken aback: "Your service is quite..."

The little brother smiled embarrassedly.

"Don't read it." Ye Ling said, "Those who talk about cross talk, go back and tell your guests that it is "Business Theory". If you want to hear it, buy a ticket and go to Beijing Yongping Club to listen."

The little brother didn't understand, so he still looked over there, Xie Shuangchen said: "I really don't want to read it, hurry back, I really didn't lie to you."

In line with the principle of professionalism, the younger brother still ran to the front to confirm it, then ran back briskly, and said to Xie Shuangchen: "It's really funny, there is a cross talk on the street."

Xie Shuangchen said, "Haven't you seen it?"

The little brother shook his head, because he still had work and didn't have time to chat with Xie Shuangchen, so he ran back quickly.

"If you want to eat Haidilao, you have to care about people's livelihood." Xie Shuangchen muttered, "People are really busy now."

Ye Ling smiled and said, "Otherwise, how boring is it to wait for a seat?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "You just said that you want them to go to the Yongping Society to watch it? Are you asking for these two people?"

"Did I say it worked?" Ye Ling smiled, "Don't listen to Mr. Xie?"

"Aren't I poor?" Xie Shuangchen said, "I think it's okay, the basic skills are good, and I can open my mouth on the street. The two of them also have some acting styles, okay."

Ye Ling asked: "Aren't you concerned about character issues?"

"Character?" Xie Shuangchen said, "Is it worse than me?"

Ye Ling thought for a while, and said solemnly, "It's probably Xuan."

It was already 03:30 after Li Ke and Qiu Ming finished the performance, because they were standing in the audience and talking, and every time they talked about something interesting, the audience would pick up their words, and they interacted for a long time.

Although it was the first time to lay down the ground, they were so nervous and overwhelmed at first, but after fighting it out, they found that the feeling was unexpectedly good, and both of them had a very novel feeling in their hearts.

The two of them bowed to the surrounding audience and looked around, but they didn't find the shadow of Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling.

"Did they run away?" Qiu Ming asked.

"It can't be..." Li Ke said.

"Fuck, I must have been cheated!" Qiu Ming was furious.

Li Ke took out his cell phone to call Xie Shuangchen, but saw a message on the cell phone.

"I'm catching a train, so it's not convenient to stay for a long time. After the festival, you can come to Yongping Club to see and talk about the treatment. Address: Beixinqiao, Dongcheng District, Beijing..."

This is from Xie Shuangchen's number.

"What's wrong?" Qiu Ming asked.

Li Ke said: "Xie Shuangchen said that we can go to Yongping Club to have a look..."

The two looked at their phones in silence, then at each other, and said in unison, "Fuck!"

After two days of tossing around in Tianjin, when they returned home to Beijing, both Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling were exhausted, they fell asleep in the dark, and went to Beixinqiao to start work the next day.

Li Ke and Qiu Ming were very active, and they also rushed to Beijing on the day that Yongping Society started work.Xie Shuangchen didn't say anything to them, but just left them to watch the afternoon show at Yongping Club.After the show ended, the two were called to the backstage for a chat.

Young people are more aggressive, and they have no objection to the salary level of Yongping Club, so Dang even decided to stay.Xie Shuangchen gave them a week to find a place to live before calling them to work.During this period, he and Ye Ling spent all kinds of spare time interviewing the actors they had previously engaged with, and selected three couples to stay.

Seeing the number of actors gradually increase, although Xie Shuangchen felt a little more at ease, he also felt more and more responsible.

This is no playing around, with more than a dozen mouths waiting to eat, Xiao Wu suddenly felt a lot of pressure.

But pressure is motivation, who doesn't expect something better?

"Extraordinary!" Shi Xiangcheng shouted from the backstage, "There will be an event next Monday, and Xie Shuangchen and Teacher Ye must attend, so please pay attention to others."

Xie Shuangchen was drinking tea and asked, "What's the matter?"

"The thing is like this." Shi Xiangcheng sat down, "There is a student of Beihang University, anyway, I don't know how many layers of connections have been kidnapped, and he found me."

"No, aren't you a fake Beihang?" Xie Shuangchen interrupted her, "Have you been found out for giving a fake certificate?"

Ye Ling patted Xie Shuangchen's head: "You tell him to finish."

Shi Xiangcheng glared at Xie Shuangchen: "That's right, why do you talk too much?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "If you have the ability, don't say it!"

"I'll just say it!" Shi Xiangcheng said, "Recently, colleges and universities in Beijing have started to hold some kind of traditional cultural festival, which is to inherit and develop such a set of things. According to the student of Beihang University crying, the traditional cultural festival in their school lasts for a week. There are different performances and lectures for students to feel the charm of our excellent traditional culture. The one for this poor student is Quyi, and the time is set for Monday. This student thought that the artists would be very happy Spreading art germs with the future of the motherland, and found in practice that he can’t afford it without money. He doesn’t have any other connections, so he just inquired about it, but I, who is smart and intelligent, heard about it!”

Xie Shuangchen said: "I think you use these few words... Maybe you are talking about cross talk on stage. Otherwise, I can teach you, and you can save money on hiring someone."

"Stop talking nonsense, okay? Let me finish, okay?" Shi Xiangcheng continued to stare at Xie Shuangchen.

Xie Shuangchen gestured: "OKOK."

Shi Xiangcheng said: "Then I'll take over the job. Anyway, you don't start work on Monday, and you just happened to come with me to Beihang University. Don't think it's not profitable, but it's nice to talk about it. Walk in Institutions of higher learning, to promote traditional culture! Doesn’t it feel like you don’t know what’s going on?”

Feng Feifei leaned over: "Is school fun?"

"It's okay." Shi Xiangcheng said, "Do you want to come with me?"

Feng Feifei thought for a while and asked, "Do you have a beautiful sister?"

"Yes!" Shi Xiangcheng said.

Xie Shuangchen asked Ye Ling: "Teacher Ye, what do you think?"

Ye Ling asked Shi Xiangcheng directly: "What do you say?"

"Of course there is an argument, Mr. Ye, I can see that you are someone who has been deeply involved in student work." Shi Xiangcheng smiled, "I told them that when the time comes, Beihang's Shuangwei and various accounts of the student group will send us articles. Son, the central idea is the theme of 'Ying Ping Society's new era of communicators, let the young generation get in touch with tradition'. Then the school will post promotional posters and official cooperation statements. Anyway, it will take up about one or two of your nights. Hours of time, although I don’t give you money, it’s not bad to earn some money. Hey, you!” She knocked on the table to signal Xie Shuangchen, “As the CEO, don’t you have to take the initiative to take the lead and shape the positive and positive attitude of the club? Energy image? Take the initiative to build a good relationship with the mainstream public? Don’t make people run on the Internet all day long!”

Xie Shuangchen said, "Listen to Teacher Ye."

Ye Ling thought for a while and said, "I think it's okay, let's go."

Feng Feifei raised her hand: "Then I will go too!"

"You little bastard stay with the family!" Xie Shuangchen said.

"I don't want to stay with my family." Feng Feifei said, "Yao Sheng is on vacation with his family after the performance, and facing him all day long, I think I will be depressed. I want to see my beautiful sister!"

"Just take him with you." Ye Ling said, "It's good for him to go to school at his age."

Xie Shuangchen shrugged.

"This is the first case my agent has accepted for you!" Shi Xiangcheng said, "Don't lose the chain!"

Xie Shuangchen asked: "No, what if someone finds out that your graduation certificate from Beihang University is fake? Isn't it embarrassing? Will it implicate us?"

"Shut up!" Shi Xiangcheng yelled.

About three days in advance, Shi Xiangcheng gave the posters of Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling to the students in charge of the Beihang Student Union.The moment he received the poster, the student was very surprised.

"These two... talk about cross talk?" He asked.

"Yes." Shi Xiangcheng replied, "What's wrong?"

"This..." The classmate said after a long time, "Why don't these two make their debut?"

Shi Xiangcheng said: "Who will carry forward the traditional culture for you after debut?"

The classmate said: "Look at this face... Is it funny to talk about cross talk? Can you tell something meaningful? Senior sister, don't lie to me!"

Shi Xiangcheng casually threw him a link: "Give me a taste carefully! Teacher Ye is a graduate student of Tsinghua University! And you are just an ordinary Beihang undergraduate student. Let's see the difference in being a human being!"

"Yes, yes, yes!" The other party answered dog-leggedly, but still weakly added, "Why do Tsinghua graduate students want to talk about cross talk? I really can't think about it."

"Print more posters." Shi Xiangcheng said, "Paste them in every corner of the school, especially the cafeteria and the entrance of the girls' dormitory. Oh, by the way, if conditions permit, post them in other schools as well."

"Sister." The hard-working junior begged, "We are all in Changping. Don't you know Changping is a place? Birds don't shit. I have to go several miles to see other schools. But this kind of suburb I want What if something goes wrong? I'm still young..."

"Shut up." Shi Xiangcheng said, "Shangzhongcai post it for me! There are so many girls in Zhongcai! I don't care!"

"Okay, okay, okay..."

Student associations are also quick to do publicity work, mainly because the student group is a relatively active and independent group with great interest and motivation in everything.

Soon, the news that Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling went to Beihang University to give cross talk performances and lectures spread throughout the student circle in Beijing.They are well-known among young people, and many students have paid attention to this matter.

After all, for students, the ones who are associated with traditional culture may be uncles and aunts. The appearance of two energetic young people in this picture really arouses curiosity.

On the evening of Monday, Xie Shuangchen drove Ye Ling, Feng Feifei and Shi Xiangcheng to Beihang's campus in Changping.

"Let me confirm again." Shi Xiangcheng said, "Let's introduce ourselves first, then perform "Drama and Dialect", then popular science about cross talk, and finally a question-and-answer session with classmates. Are all ok?"

"It's just a trifle." Xie Shuangchen said, "I can chat for two hours."

Ye Ling asked: "What if no one comes? I don't know if the current students are interested in these things."

"This..." Shi Xiangcheng said, "No, even if no one comes, there are a bunch of organizers from the student union there, so it won't be too boring!"

"The current schools are so far away." Ye Ling said, "They are all in the suburbs. I thought our school was very far away."

Shi Xiangcheng said, "Okay, stop showing off."

"Is this showing off?" Xie Shuangchen said, "We are obviously very simple! It's just a simple college entrance examination."

"It's not Tsinghua University that you were admitted to!" Shi Xiangcheng said, "Why do you have such a contemptuous tone!"

Xie Shuangchen said: "I am a family member of Tsinghua University!"

"Shut up!" Shi Xiangcheng roared, "Miss Ye, look at him! Hold your face!"

"But there is nothing wrong with what you said." Ye Ling replied.Xie Shuangchen's stinky fart almost turned his tail.

Shi Xiangcheng said: "You just get used to him!"

Ye Ling smiled without saying a word.

After finally arriving at Beihang University, the four of them were very conspicuous walking in the school—the main reason was that Xie Shuangchen was so conspicuous that even the male students who passed by couldn't help but look at him more.

"Sister Sausage." Feng Feifei tugged at the corner of La Shi Xiangcheng's clothes, "I think you are lying to me."

Shi Xiangcheng asked, "What's wrong?"

"You said there are so many beautiful young ladies." Feng Feifei said desperately, "It's been a long way! Except the big brother is the big brother! I feel that even dogs are male! Where can there be beautiful young ladies! Not here There are no female creatures! You lied to me!"

"Fart!" Shi Xiangcheng pointed at the place he passed by just now, "Isn't there a wild cat named Sanhua? Sanhua is a female cat!"

"Damn it!" Feng Feifei was furious, "Go to hell!"

"Hey! Don't make trouble!" Shi Xiangcheng said, "It's here!"

They stopped in front of a building, and there was a male classmate looking around at the door. He was taken aback when he saw Xie Shuangchen, and then looked at Shi Xiangcheng.

"Ah, Shi..." He just wanted to call senior sister, but Shi Xiangcheng interrupted him and said, "Have you been waiting for a long time? Where are we going?"

"Have you eaten?" the male student asked, "Now the students are having dinner, and the activities will start later. How about I show you around, or find a classroom to rest?"

"Don't go shopping." Shi Xiangcheng said, "There are few girls in your school. You took them for a walk and they were hooked up. Are the boys in your school still alive?"

"Also... yes, haha." The male student smiled approvingly, "Then let's go to the classroom and rest for a while."

"Go." Shi Xiangcheng said.

The male student and Shi Xiangcheng led the way, and the male student asked in a low voice: "A real person is more handsome than a photo, is that okay? Can you tell me something?"

"You didn't watch the video?" Shi Xiangcheng asked.

"Look, it's quite funny." The male student said, "But being funny has nothing to do with academic popularization!"

"Do you know what it means to have both beauty and talent?" Shi Xiangcheng said, "People with good looks work so hard, you ordinary people should take off your glasses and see what virtue you have!"

The author says:

Haidilao is a very popular joke on Weibo, not my original creation!