哏儿

This sentence woke Xie Shuangchen up, but he was also a little confused.

"Anti-pornography?" Xie Shuangchen asked, "Where did the anti-pornography come from? Who are you anti-pornography?"

Ye Ling was stunned on the bed for a while, and then she saw what was going on, took a long breath, and said, "It's okay."

Xie Shuangchen quit: "No, you have to explain it clearly to me!"

"What do you mean?" Ye Ling said, "I dreamed that you went to heaven and earth, and it's no good to follow you, can't you?"

"Am I that unbearable in your eyes?" Xie Shuangchen objected.

"No." Ye Ling shook her head, "Maybe it's worse."

Xie Shuangchen was particularly wronged.

While speaking, Xie Fangbi kicked the door and came in. He still had his hands behind his back, glanced at Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling, and said with a smile: "Young masters, are you done with your work?"

Summer mornings always come very early, and the sky is bright at five or six o'clock.

Xie Fangbi was sitting in a rocking chair in the courtyard, while Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling stood in front of them with their heads down like cowards.Xie Shuangchen memorized a section of "Geographic Map" first, and after he finished memorizing, Xie Fangbi opened his eyes and looked at Ye Ling: "Xiaoye, what do you know?"

"I..." Ye Ling looked at Xie Shuangchen, feeling like a teacher checking the text.

He has been very good at school since he was a child, and his brain is also good, and he remembers things quickly.But in front of Xie Fangbi, he always felt a sense of emptiness in his mind.

"Let's come to a piece of "Eight Fan Screens." Xie Fangbi said leisurely, "Little lady."

Ye Ling let out a "huh", took a breath, and said eloquently: "I think back then, there was a fat beauty in the Tang Dynasty. This person's surname was Yang and her name was Yuhuan, and the characters were too real, because Tang Minghuang's son Shouwang Li Mao chose his concubine... ..." He uttered the words clearly and coherently, and Xie Shuangchen next to him listened very nervously, for fear that he would make a mistake.

"Eight Fan Screens" is a very classic traditional cross talk. It tells the stories of various historical figures, and the essence lies in habit. "Eight Fan Screens" originated from screen calligraphy and painting, but there are more than eight stories in it. It's just that when actors nowadays are performing, they often choose passages such as "children", "reckless people" and "people from the rivers and lakes". Mention less.

The section "Little Women" tells the story of Yang Yuhuan. It is very long and rarely used on stage, so it is inevitable to be unfamiliar when it is said suddenly.Xie Shuangchen was afraid that Ye Ling's two knives would be incompetent or that he had recited them wrongly, so he would not be able to catch Xie Fangbi's eyes.

"... There is a poem from later generations who sighed and said: Yuhuan's jade beauty can be overwhelming, once the Ming emperor's shame is empty, Lushan soldiers and horses press the border, and a handful of yellow earth bury her delicate face. Can you compare with this fat girl?" Ye Ling finally After an ending sound fell, it was smooth and smooth from beginning to end, without any mistakes, Xie Shuangchen was relieved.

In fact, Ye Ling also breathed a sigh of relief, the old gentleman checked his homework, who can not be nervous?

The two waited quietly for Xie Fangbi, Xie Fangbi leisurely stood up and went back to the house, and came out again soon.

"You." He pointed at Xie Shuangchen, "Go and clean up, the house and yard have been cleaned."

Then he gave Ye Ling another 20 yuan: "You go to the entrance of the alley to buy something early, you and Lao Wu will buy an extra egg, buy me two sugar pancakes and a bowl of soy milk, and the rest is whatever you want."

Ye Ling took the 20 yuan in a daze, and when she was about to go out in a daze, she heard Xie Shuangchen shouting while rubbing the rag: "Just buy a sugar pancake! Master has high blood pressure and heart disease! Eat less!"

"Wash your rag!" Xie Fangbi wanted to kick Xie Shuangchen.

Ye Ling was still at a loss, very at a loss.But he didn't ask Xie Fangbi for the 20 yuan, but went out with his mobile phone.Xie Fangbi didn't stop him, and put the 20 yuan under the flowerpot.

Ten minutes later, Ye Ling came back in a daze. He was embarrassed to talk to Xie Fangbi, so he walked up to Xie Shuangchen, who was wiping the pillars, and whispered, "Do you have cash? The aunt who sells breakfast at the entrance of the alley is so hard-core, she can only use cash." cash."

Xie Shuangchen laughed "puchi", pointed at the flowerpot, and said, "Master left it for you, so I knew you would have to overturn."

Ye Ling pinched Xie Shuangchen: "Why didn't you say it earlier?"

Xie Shuangchen said "Oops": "Who made you so polite? You can take whatever Master gives you. How can there be such a thing?"

"I'm too lazy to be poor with you!" Ye Ling rolled her eyes, took the 20 yuan from the bottom of the flower pot and left.

It was quite simple for the three of them to have breakfast. Xie Fangbi didn't like to talk when he ate by himself. After eating, he left three words for the two of them: go to work.

Then he went out for a walk by himself.

This courtyard house is not very big, but it would take a lot of effort for two people to clean everything inside and out.

After all, Ye Ling is a scholar, so it's okay to ask him to sit and write "5-year college entrance examination and 3-year simulation", but ask him to do hygiene, and keep doing it all morning, which is a bit unacceptable.

Leaning on a broom that was as tall as a person, he asked Xie Shuangchen, "Do you usually do this?"

"Ah." Xie Shuangchen said, "Occasionally cook for Master, but if I don't cook well, he won't ask me to do it."

"So it's still popular now." Ye Ling muttered.

"Otherwise?" Xie Shuangchen said, "I live with Master's house, why don't I do all kinds of work?"

Ye Ling thought for a while, then commented: "Hard core."

"My master said that this is the way to learn art. If you can't even do such trivial things well, then you can't learn." Xie Shuangchen said clearly, "You, you should perform well."

"..." Ye Ling didn't want to say anything at first, but hearing Xie Shuangchen's words felt wrong, "No, why don't you and your family clean up? Why are you so diligent here?"

"Can that be the same?"

But it's not that Little Fifth Master is a fine person, and still can't tell the difference?

The two of them were working in the same yard, while Xie Shuangchen was telling Ye Ling about his original story. When he was talking about the fifth grade elementary school kicking football and smashing the glass, Yang Shuanglin came.

"Hey, Second Senior Brother, what brought you here?" Xie Shuangchen asked loudly.

"Bring some raw fish to master." Yang Shuanglin said while holding the fresh box, "It arrived by air in the morning, and I just got it back from the airport."

Xie Shuangchen whispered: "Master San Gao, you keep feeding him this."

Yang Shuanglin waved his hands and smiled, "Master, isn't he greedy?"

"Greedy isn't what you're used to." Xie Shuangchen said eccentrically.

"Come on." Yang Shuanglin said, "Our little fifth master's is indispensable. You can eat more and snatch master's, won't it be enough?"

Xie Shuangchen was just about to say a few words of respect when Xie Fangbi came back.Seeing Yang Shuanglin was there, he greeted him a few words, saw what Yang Shuanglin had brought, and had lunch.

The four sat down around the table, Xie Fangbi took the seat, he moved the chopsticks first, and then the others.

Yang Shuanglin is a person who is very good at taking care of the dinner. With him around, he will not be left alone.He first chatted with Xie Fangbi for a while, and then said to Xie Shuangchen: "You two stayed here yesterday, right? It's not what I said, old five, you're a gangster all day long, why are you drinking more and more?" Worse?"

"How can I compare with my masters?" Xie Shuangchen said, "I'm still young, and my skills are still inexperienced." In my heart, I was cursing, how could I drink better than you three big brothers?

"Where's Xiaoye?" Yang Shuanglin asked with a smile, "How did you rest yesterday?"

"It's okay." Ye Ling replied shallowly.

"Did you ask Master to check your homework this morning?" Yang Shuanglin continued to ask.

"Of course." Xie Shuangchen said first, "Isn't this a daily routine? You can ask Master to tell you how our homework is doing?"

Yang Shuanglin said with a smile: "Of course you are good. You are smart since you were a child. None of us can compare to you."

Xie Fangbi suddenly said, "Xiao Ye, you speak clearly and speak fluently."

Ye Ling was stunned, he didn't expect Xie Fangbi to comment on him. Although there were only eight simple words, they were already precious, so he hurriedly said, "Thank you, sir."

"I just said that our teacher Ye is doing well, you still don't believe me!" Xie Shuangchen clung to Xie Fangbi, and he said that the teacher's basic skills are so good after checking the whole book, "How about me and Teacher Ye? Stay here for two more days, can you take a look? Give me some pointers?"

Xie Fangbi said: "I can take care of five of your brothers in the whole world, but I can't even take care of your own daughters. Where can I give advice to others?"

"Master!" Xie Shuangchen said, "Why are you so arrogant?"

Ye Ling choked for a moment, he didn't know that Xie Shuangchen was so lawless in front of Xie Fangbi, he dared to say anything.But this is not an occasion for him to speak, he can only eat in silence.

Yang Shuanglin said, "Fifth, how do you talk? It's not big or small."

Xie Shuangchen didn't care about Yang Shuanglin, and only said to Xie Fangbi: "Master, please teach him, we are both partners, we have to make progress together."

Xie Fangbi said, "Eat your meal."

The topic ended here, and Yang Shuanglin began to talk about his recent work and performance arrangements, always saying that he was very busy. For an artist, being busy is the most beautiful thing.

Ye Ling felt dizzy when he heard it. He had seen Yang Shuanglin's performances on TV, because he had made a mistake in positioning Xie Shuangchen, so he didn't dare to comment on Yang Shuanglin at the moment.In order to escape the muddy atmosphere of the dinner table, he asked to wash the dishes as soon as he finished eating and left the battlefield.

Xie Fangbi stopped working and went back to the house to listen to the play. Xie Shuangchen and Yang Shuanglin were left to tidy up the dinner table. Yang Shuanglin looked around and suddenly asked Xie Shuangchen: "Old Five, what did you mean by that just now?"

Xie Shuangchen was inexplicable: "What do you mean?"

"You asked Master to guide him, and he is not Master's apprentice, how can he guide him?" Yang Shuanglin asked bluntly.

Xie Shuangchen also said bluntly: "Then let the master accept him as an apprentice? Why, did I say that too cryptically?"

Yang Shuanglin said, "Hey, your little abacus is really good!"

Xie Shuangchen said, "I've always settled accounts."

Yang Shuanglin said: "Old Wu, you just have no rules. Master spoils you, and it's up to you to change partners. Why are you still sticking your nose in the face? Aren't you embarrassing Master?"

"I made things difficult for Master and I didn't make things difficult for you, why are you so anxious!" Xie Shuangchen pretended to be puzzled.

Yang Shuanglin snorted: "Don't be arrogant!"

"I didn't argue." Xie Shuangchen said.

"You should carefully consider this matter." Yang Shuanglin tapped the table with his fingers, and said in a low voice, "What is the status of the master? Just take in an apprentice who doesn't know where he came from, and the relationship is not all messed up. ? You kid, don't mess around."

"Second senior brother, don't be nervous." Xie Shuangchen patted Yang Shuanglin's shoulder, "In the end, it depends on what Master and the old man want?"

"Don't engage in those crooked ways." Yang Shuanglin finally commented, "Don't be in the crowd."

At this time, there was a knock on the door, Ye Ling had finished washing the dishes, and knocked on the door with wet hands to remind the two people in the room to come by themselves.

"That..." Ye Ling was a little embarrassed, "I finished washing it, I don't know which cabinet to put it in."

"Let me show you, let's go." Xie Shuangchen ostentatiously took Ye Ling to leave, and did not forget to turn around and wink at Yang Shuanglin, feeling disgusted.

The more Yang Shuanglin refused to let Xie Shuangchen do crooked ways, the more Xie Shuangchen wanted to confront him.

He is a rebellious person by nature, he likes to take a slanted sword the most, and is very rebellious.

Zhao Mengru had finished the gown for Xie Shuangchen and Ye Ling, so he called Xie Shuangchen, and Xie Shuangchen drove to pick it up in person, and brought it home for Ye Ling to try.

Ye Ling only wore cotton cloth before, and it was just like that when she came on stage.It was the first time for him to wear such an exquisite and expensive gown. To be honest, it felt a little delicate.

"I think you look really good in black." Xie Shuangchen admired it and said, "Wait, I'll change mine."

He moved quickly, and quickly changed out, standing side by side with Ye Ling in front of the mirror.

Ye Ling looked at Xie Shuangchen in the mirror, and then at Xie Shuangchen beside her, feeling a lot of emotion in her heart.

Xie Shuangchen is more than 1.8 meters tall, and her black coat is ironed to fit her body. Only the narrow white edge of the inner coat is exposed on the collar cuffs, which is full of elegance and restraint.

"Ms. Ye, do I look good?" Xie Shuangchen asked Ye Ling in the mirror.

Only then did Ye Ling come back to her senses, realizing that her gaze had been on Xie Shuangchen for too long, she quickly turned away.

"Why don't we make our debut together?" Xie Shuangchen asked again, "I think it's similar."

Ye Ling said: "Ask me? How do I know?"

Xie Shuangchen thought for a while and said, "Let's shed the last drop of blood for the cross talk career."

"...I can't make it through this." Ye Ling was speechless.

Tried three sets of clothes, black and frosty white, but Ye Ling refused to wear the concubine-colored one.Xie Shuangchen didn't force him, but just picked a sunny day and tricked Ye Ling into a photo studio to take pictures.

Xie Shuangchen changed into the concubine color one himself, and he asked Ye Ling to change it too, but when Ye Ling refused, Xie Shuangchen threatened Ye Ling.

"Come here, if you don't do it, I will do it myself!"

It's really hard for a scholar to meet a soldier. Ye Ling pestered Xie Shuangchen for a long time before finally biting the bullet and agreeing.

This photo studio is famous for taking those retro old photos. Xie Shuangchen is familiar with the boss, and specially asked the photographer to create a set for them.

One of them was strongly requested by Xie Shuangchen. The two were wearing the concubine-colored gowns. Xie Shuangchen was sitting and asked Ye Ling to stand beside her.

Ye Ling stood soulless, Xie Shuangchen still felt dissatisfied, so he put Ye Ling's hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Ye Ling was really driven crazy by Xie Shuangchen.

"It looks more intimate this way." Xie Shuangchen said.

"Intimate fart!" Ye Ling said, "I'm homophobic!"

Xie Shuangchen said: "This is your fault, isn't it? Why do you look down on Renji?"

Ye Ling said: "What kind of words are you talking about?"

"Hurry up." Xie Shuangchen urged, "It's the last photo, and the photographer has to go eat after taking the photo. Please don't hinder his normal work just because of your personal emotions!"

Ye Ling felt that Xie Shuangchen should change his name to Xie Youli.

He stood behind Xie Shuangchen, with one hand on Xie Shuangchen's shoulder, his face darker than the bottom of a pot.

But according to the photo, he only looks cool and cold.

After the photo came out, Xie Shuangchen posted the photo on his Weibo with only [-] followers behind Ye Ling's back. He didn't say anything and just smiled.

You have to say that [-] fans are also fans, the circle is so small, Xie Shuangchen doesn't like to post on Weibo, and those who can follow him are usually not attracted by his talent, but by his face.

Girls all like young and handsome brothers, no one is an exception.

It’s just about cross talk, and everyone will preconceive that it’s an old man or an ugly uncle. In short, it has nothing to do with being “handsome”.

Such a photo of two people exploded into more than a dozen thousand-year-old zombie fans, and everyone's head was full of question marks.

"Did Jiao'er change partners?"

Xie Shuangchen posted Weibo not only to show off, but also to disgust Yang Shuanglin.The more Yang Shuanglin told him to behave himself, the more unruly he became, and he had to let everyone know.

Little Fifth Master deviates from the orthodoxy and doesn't play cards according to common sense.

It's just that the speed of online media is sometimes faster than he imagined.

As soon as I opened Weibo, thousands of retweets suddenly popped up on that thread, and a group of enthusiastic female netizens came from nowhere and invaded Xie Shuangchen's Weibo like waves in an instant.

"Ahhh!! Where did this fairy brother come from!"

"It's too CP!"

"Is this a wedding photo?"

Xie Shuangchen was puzzled, and searched along the source, and finally found the perpetrator in Rezhuan.

Yao Zhixue: Whoops!Second marriage?

Now Xie Shuangchen understood everything.

Yao Zhixue, whose real name is Yao Sheng.Big V with tens of millions of fans on Weibo, winner of the Plum Blossom Award, born in a Peking Opera family, performed on stage at the age of four, participated in overseas exchanges many times, has been practicing for 17 years, and is a veteran Peking Opera artist loved by the people.

The male actress, known as "Xiao Yaoxian", once starred in the film works of international directors. After a glimpse, a glimpse of her beauty remained in the hearts of the girls, and a few scenes became classic materials for various editing. .

Of course, this is not the point, the point is that Yao Sheng and Xie Shuangchen are brothers who taught the Peking Opera class.

Yao Sheng just reposted Xie Shuangchen's Weibo when he was full and had nothing to do, just picking things up.

Xie Shuangchen still doesn't know what kind of ass this guy is shitting?Immediately, Yao Sheng's WeChat was found and bombarded indiscriminately.

"Langweixian, come out for me!"

"Is there anyone talking to senior brother like that?" Yao Sheng answered quickly.

"You bloody bitch, how come you can't surf without water?" Xie Shuangchen began to press, "What the hell are you talking about in forwarding comments? What kind of rhythm are you messing with? It's indecent!"

"How can I surf the Internet without surfing?" Yao Sheng said, "You still tell me that it's indecent? You're gay, right? Oh, I'm really annoyed when you say that cross talk partners are like husband and wife, Every time I make it so gay, I don't see it, it's evil!"

"We are a small family in this industry, and we are really gay but not in the expensive circle." Xie Shuangchen said.

"Hey, don't tell me, you have officially worshiped as a teacher. What kind of high-ranking circles, not your circles?" Yao Sheng replied.

"Don't be a fool, okay?" Xie Shuangchen said, "I can smell your salty smell from eight hundred miles away. Can't you retweet something nice to make me popular? What the hell is a second marriage? I'm single , I didn’t even have a first marriage! Mr. Ye knows that he can’t scold me to death?”

"But everyone seems to like this disgusting business very much!" Yao Sheng said, "I think it's okay, how much has your fan base increased?"

Xie Shuangchen looked at it and said, "It's one hundred thousand now."

Yao Sheng said, "You should kneel down and thank me."

Xie Shuangchen said, "You die quickly."

Yao Sheng said: "How dare you speak to senior brother like that!"

"What's the matter?" Xie Shuangchen began to taunt, "Hit me if you have the ability! I'll wait for you at home!"

It was past one o'clock in the middle of the night, Yao Sheng saw this, locked the screen of his phone, immediately got dressed and took the car keys to speed along the third ring road in the night.

He soon arrived at Xie Shuangchen's home, opened the combination lock with a few clicks, and shouted while pushing the door: "Xie Shuangchen, you bastard, get out of here! I'm here! Let's fight! Come on, come on! Copy the guy!" !"

The living room was pitch black, only the refrigerator door was open and the lights were on. There was a man standing in front of him, wearing pajamas, holding a bottle of AD calcium milk in his hand, looking at him in horror.

"Who do I rely on you!" Yao Sheng asked.

Ye Ling also wants to know what's going on now. He just woke up in the middle of the night looking for water to drink. There was only AD calcium milk in the refrigerator. When he poked it open, someone broke into the door and yelled. This is how burglars are all these years. Is it blatant?

"You..." Ye Ling looked carefully.This man's hair is a little long, and it is naturally curly around the neck. He is tall, and should be about the same as Xie Shuangchen. Although his expression is a bit weird now, it still does not hide his heroic appearance and outstanding temperament.

From a distance, Ye Ling could feel the aura of the other party.

Arrogant, especially arrogant.

"I rely on you to really come!" Xie Shuangchen ran out of the room, pointed to the watch and said, "It's almost two o'clock in the middle of the night! The chickens are asleep!"

"Young Master Wu can do it!" Yao Sheng saw Ye Ling's appearance clearly, and smiled, "I thought you were just gay in a gay way, I didn't expect it, I didn't expect it, and you still engage in cohabitation art creation? I've known you for half a lifetime How did you not know that you still have this habit?"

Xie Shuangchen said: "Oh my God, is pornography bad or soy sauce bad? Why are you talking so much nonsense? What is my obsession! Don't spread rumors, I told you that if you spread rumors five hundred times, you will be held legally responsible! "

Yao Sheng said, "I'm talking about your habit of drinking AD calcium milk."

"You'd better die!"

"Don't talk about this, I'm here to fight with you, and it's hard to chase after a man's words!" Yao Sheng said loudly, "You wait for the fight!"

I forgot to mention that Comrade Yao Sheng also has a nickname.

Concubine Yu on stage, Overlord off stage.