Did Big Brother pretend to be dead again today?

Qin Hegui is a passionate and sunny young man who strives to practice the core values ​​of socialism and adhere to Marxism in the 21st century.

His brilliant life is like this -

More than 20 years ago, he was born.

And then died.

Gone.

Before his death, Qin Hegui was an ordinary person with no big ambitions. After nine years of compulsory education, he was admitted to a third-rate university. After graduation, he went directly to work in a small company and waited to retire.

According to his own words, he knew that he was not a big shot, so his life dreams were limited to sitting at a computer desk and drinking plain water.

A glass of boiled water in the morning.

A glass of boiled water at noon.

A glass of boiled water at night.

It's been like this for the rest of my life.

This kind of thinking, to put it mildly, is called "indifferent to fame and fortune", and to put it bluntly, it means "not thinking about making progress".

Parents beat their chests and feet all day and all night, but he just wanted to say: "Don't be angry, everyone, be careful of breast hyperplasia."

So his parents were even more melancholy.

His parents worried about him day and night, and their hair was worried about falling out, but Qin Hegui didn't bother to care so much because he couldn't do anything.His biggest dream is to drink lukewarm water in front of the computer.As for major matters such as saving the world, maintaining peace, and protecting the earth, it has nothing to do with him.

He has an older brother on his head, who is handsome and educated. He has studied in a prestigious university and came out to work, with an annual salary of one million.There is a younger sister at the bottom, who is studying at a well-known financial university in China.

In this era where princes and generals walk everywhere and heroes are like water, Qin Hegui calculates how much boiled water should be drunk, how much goji berries in a thermos cup to keep healthy, and how to save a dollar by taking the bus.

The days were passed by him day by day like this.

But even such a person has backbone.

That is-absolutely don't engage in gays!

Nowadays, danmei elements are becoming more and more popular. When he walks on the street, he can see two men hugging each other. The advertisements pushed by the software are also inseparable from selling rot. Tanmeiman.

This world of wanting to blush all the time made Qin Hegui's goose bumps all over the place, and he determined to stay away from sensuality and purify his soul.

On the night of his death, at three o'clock in the morning, Qin Hegui suffered from insomnia.

Just ask: When you can't sleep in the middle of the night, what can you do to pass the time the most?

The answer was: Open YY Stallion novels and feast your eyes.

Coincidentally, Qin Hegui has a favorite author whose pen name is Cucumber Seeking Cave.

People in the Jianghu are known as the Cucumber Master, who is good at YY stallion novels, and the popularity remains high.

Hearing the pseudonym, there is nothing wrong with it!

Although this person's writing style is a bit rubbish, but the plot is smooth, the plot is bold, just one word to read, cool!

Moreover, the author's update speed is extremely fast. He once set a mythical record of 20 updates per day, and no one has surpassed it so far!

In fact, Master Cucumber is just a bastard. He decided to become a full-time writer after writing articles that became popular for no reason.

In order to get the perfect attendance award, he also worked hard and worked day and night.Anyway, since his debut, there hasn't been a month where he didn't get full attendance.

Qin Hegui has been following Master Cucumber for many years, and after reading countless enlightening articles written by him, he would give him gifts even at the risk of starving to death.

Qin Hegui thinks that this is true love.

Last month, Cucumber finished a tens of millions of words novel called "The Demon King's Self-Cultivation".

Hearing the name, I thought it was a Western fantasy novel, but when I clicked it in, I found that Cucumber, a dog who can't change his shit, is still a fake Cultivation of Immortals.

This introduction is really an introduction.A total of eight characters.

[Being beaten at an early age and growing up to flirt with girls]

This is indeed the consistent style of cucumber.

Master Cucumber once said: To write an article is to write meat to death, and everything else is fart and nonsense.

Just like falling in love, falling in love not for the purpose of marriage is all hooliganism.Writing articles not for the purpose of writing meat is to deceive readers' feelings.

So there are more than 30 of his novels, none of which is not the male protagonist who was pitiful, weak and helpless at first, and one accidentally fucked a certain boss and his daughter, and then he became famous, having sex with countless girls, sitting in the harem There are three thousand beauties, domineering, evil, charming, arrogant and cold, and finally reached the pinnacle of life.

In general, it's the same routine, the king of male protagonists who have remained unchanged for thousands of years.

Goldfinger is thicker than Optimus Prime, the routine is so bad that it can't be worse, and the plot is as smelly and long as the foot wrap.

I was stunned to write the good comprehension text into pure meat text.

What's even more amazing is that he wrote a total of 4000 million words, of which 99 million words were in driving and masturbating girls on airplanes. The most ridiculous thing is that there are so many words, the postures are not repeated, and even the same swear words on the bed Can write novel.Whether it is imprisoning paly, bundling paly, training paly, subduing paly, they are all played badly.

As for the ten daughters of the night, eighteen times a night, seven days of bloody battles... Master Cucumber said that he had already disdained these pediatrics.

That's why people in Jianghu say: When reading Cucumber's articles, don't bring your brains, bring tissues.

Cucumbers managed to make a bunch of gentlemen lose their kidneys.Therefore, there are also small advertisement links for treating kidney deficiency in his articles, and the advertisement words are as vulgar and pornographic as his articles, for example:

[Uncovering the inside story of the 10-year-old uncle who changed 6 wives in [-] years and ran away from home is shocking! 】

[An old man in his seventies no one wants to marry three or four times every night, it is too thick, too big, and it takes a long time, so he used it! 】

Although it is very simple and rude, Qin Hegui likes this kind of articles that do not require IQ.

Most importantly, there is a person with the same name and surname as him in that article!

It's just that this character is a cannon fodder at first glance. He abused and suppressed the male protagonist in a fancy way when he first appeared on the stage, and he played the word "death" to the fullest, and he almost wrote "cannon fodder" on his face.

You don't even have to think about it, just know that this character won't survive three episodes.

The plot is roughly the touching story that the male protagonist doesn't bring a dog at the beginning, and the output depends entirely on roaring, shaking his little hands, and getting everything in his hand.

The routine is indeed the same as ordinary cultivating immortals, and the pollution is overwhelming, and the speed of the car is soaring one hundred and eighty.However, this article vaguely planted a lot of foreshadowing, the plot is novel, and the discordant content that is frantically probing on the edge of being blocked is removed, this is a good work.

But the author of this book is Cucumber.

An unscrupulous big man who picks his feet.

Opening: The hero entered Qingyunmen, was bullied in every possible way, and endured the humiliation.

There was nothing wrong with the beginning.

It's just that the finale was a bit tricky.

Qin Hegui believes that the finale should be that the hero kills all the villains and leads many girls in the harem to live a sexual life without shame or impetuosity.

But in the real finale, the hero captured the villain master alive, and then gave him to that!

Do you understand!

A male-frequent meat novel!

There is a fairy tale where the male protagonist gives the male villain to ooxx forcibly to death!

This operation directly frightened Qin Hegui to the point of yelling!

Qin Hegui wanted to slam the keyboard and scream at the sky.

Great hero!Can't you capture the villain alive and stab him to death with a sword? Do you have to ooxx him to death? !

Moreover, he is a man!

man!

Qin Hegui's hatred for Tanmei reached its maximum at this moment, higher than that of Mount Everest, deeper than that of the Marinaya Trench, wishing to arrange the top ten tortures of the Manchu Qing Dynasty on Cucumber.

god!he!mom!delay!beautiful!All!Give!Father!climb!

In reality, I am obedient, but on the Internet, I fight hard.

With [-] words, he complained about Cucumber's enigmatic finale, bursting into tears, belittled the danmei culture, and vented his bitter life surrounded by homosexuals for many years.

After writing the comment, he moved the mouse to the close interface helplessly, and was about to catch up on sleep when the screen suddenly started to flicker, the page kept jumping automatically, garbled characters crossed, and there seemed to be the sound of electric current buzzing.

Qin Hegui's heart skipped a beat, and he raised his head in surprise.

After a few clicks of the mouse, there was no response. Qin Hegui felt strange, clicked his tongue, and directly pressed the shutdown button of the computer.

The computer does not respond, it cannot be turned off, and the screen keeps cutting automatically.

Qin Hegui's eyelids twitched.Then the computer went black.

One minute later, a line of bright red words appeared on the computer's pitch-black screen, bloody writing: [I heard that the author of the complaint can wear books]

Qin Hegui took a deep breath, took another deep breath, calmed down, and suddenly remembered those Chuanshu.com articles that were popular all over the country.It seems that as long as readers make complaints about a certain book, they will definitely wear the book.It's nothing more than wearing a book, and you will definitely get involved with the male lead and become a dead gay.

Nima, I feel like I'm going to wear it.

He twitched the corners of his mouth, almost crying, and covered his face and said, "No, I don't want to."

The computer continued to display: [I heard you look down on Tanmei? 】

【Straight men have to wear books, don't you want to go to the world of books to have fun? 】

"No! Listen to me, I really don't want to!"

The system smiled slightly: [You really want to, welcome to the world of bl! 】

bl Nima ah!

Seeing that the computer was actually talking to him, Qin Shuhegui's scalp tingled for a while, and he more or less realized that he might have been a ghost, and his back felt cold.

He swallowed, just wanting to turn off this ghost computer quickly, and subconsciously reached out to unplug the computer.

Suddenly, a feeling like an electric shock hit his body crazily, Qin Hegui trembled all over, his intuition was not good, before he had time to react, he rolled his eyes in front of the black screen of the computer, twitched all over, fainted on the table, unconscious personnel.

Before he fell into a coma, he had only one thought: May there be no danmei in heaven.

After a few minutes of silence, the originally dark computer screen suddenly lit up with a few white words, "System loading".

——"Loading successfully."

——"Information matching successful."

——"Double-click the system ID 666."

——"The host accepts the binding."

——"This game is produced by Shudan."

——"I wish the players a happy experience."