withered lover

Shen Guiwan stood in front of the Shen family's villa door, touching the cold fingerprint lock with his fingers.

There were a few broken spider threads hanging from the edge of the fingerprint lock. The cold wind blew, and the spider threads fluttered in mid-air, and broke into two sections again.

Shen Guiwan wiped off the dust and spider silk on it, and pressed his fingerprints.

He pushed open the door, and a cold, damp breath rushed towards his face. The light behind him illuminated the fine dust floating in the air, and the air was so cloudy that it was hard to breathe.

Shen Guiwan stood outside the door for a while, until his nose got used to the weird smell, before he stepped into this gloomy villa.

The villa has not been cleaned for a long time, and it has not been lived in for nearly ten days. The furniture has accumulated a thin layer of dust, and the house that has never been favored by the sun has become even darker.

Shen Guiwan opened all the windows, and the cold wind came in from all directions, blowing away the unpleasant dampness in the room.

Shen Lu would not be back for another week, and Shen Guiwan went upstairs after opening the window.

His waist and thighs were still sore, and he stayed up all night. He walked slowly through more than twenty steps, and he really didn't have the extra energy to clean the living room.

When Shen Guiwan returned to his room, he didn't care whether the bed was also covered with dust, and threw his head up into the soft quilt.

Dust and floating hairs were blown up with the movement of Shen Guiwan's fall, and then fell from the air, entering Shen Guiwan's nasal cavity.

Shen Guiwan lay on the bed and sneezed twice, touched the fine particles on the quilt, walked slowly to the window and opened it.

The cold wind blew across his face, he stared at the cloudy and white sky outside the window for a while, and then walked back to the bed, pinched the two corners of the quilt and shook vigorously a few times.

The wind blown up by the quilt blows off the floating dust on the bed, everything before Shen Guiwan's eyes is blurred by the dust, but soon becomes clear again.

He put the quilt back on the bed, took off his clothes and got in.

The moment the cold sheet was stuck to his back, Shen Guiwan hid under the quilt and gasped.

He hugged the quilt tightly, but his body temperature failed to warm it up, and his body began to tremble uncontrollably.

Shen Guiwan hadn't experienced such cold for a long time, shivering under the quilt for a long time, finally got up and closed the window.

Without the invasion of the cold wind, the temperature of the room seemed to rise a bit. Shen Guiwan lay on a pillow that had no temperature, and stared at the clothes piled on the chair in a daze.

The shirt and trousers were the ones he wore when he went to see Du Zhinian, and the jacket was Du Zhinian's windbreaker. As for the ones Du Zhinian bought for him, they were left in Du Zhinian's closet.

Shen Guiwan only wore those new clothes once, and the warm touch still lingered on his skin, but he didn't know if he would have the chance to wear them again in the future.

Maybe not anymore.

Du Zhinian's home is very warm, there is enough quiet space, and there is Shen Guiwan's favorite sunset.

He can read a book on the soft sofa, and fall asleep in Du Zhinian's warm embrace when the cold night falls.

The environment Du Zhinian created was so comfortable that Shen Guiwan only stayed by his side for a week, and he forgot what kind of life he was really living.

Shen Guiwan buried her head in the quilt, her vision became pitch black, but there was no sleepiness in her head.

He opened the bedside table, lay on the bedside and looked at the photos quietly lying in the drawer.

In the frame was a faded photograph of a woman sitting in the center.

She smiled softly, but the eyes and the corners of her mouth stained with a smile were scratched by the glass, and her bright smile became sad.

Shen Guiwan gently stroked the rough edges of the photo frame, remembering Du Zhinian's "advice"——

"There's no harm in being selfish for someone like you."

Du Zhinian would persuade himself like this because he felt pity for him when he saw how he was dying.

But Du Zhinian didn't know that he was also a selfish person, so selfish that he didn't care about his mother's life or death.

For the entire 20 years before her mother passed away, Shen Guiwan had been living selfishly.

He doesn't listen or look, doesn't care about anyone or anything, and isolates himself from the outside world.

It wasn't until the most important person in his life left him that Shen Guiwan was dragged out of his fortress by Shen Lu and locked into the cage where Zeng Jin drove his mother crazy.

Shen Guiwan didn't know what happened to his mother before she died, but he knew that he could have saved her, but chose to ignore it.

His selfishness indulged Shen Lu and killed his mother.

In the past, he couldn't really empathize with his mother unless he was in that situation and endured the pain her mother had experienced.

That's why he put himself in such a situation now, tortured himself repeatedly, and even made it a subconscious habit to endure Shen Lu's beating.

He is masturbating himself, and he is also atonement.

The warmth that Du Zhinian gave was nothing but an illusion, a fantasy that would be shattered at any time, such a beautiful and ordinary life did not belong to him at all.

Shen Guiwan curled up under the quilt, gently rubbed his wrist with his fingers.

The bite marks left by Du Zhinian have faded away, no bruises can be seen on his wrists, his skin is smooth and delicate, without any scars.

Shen Guiwan put his wrist on his lips, leaving a shallow tooth mark on the healed wound.

After Du Zhinian sent Shen Guiwan home, he stayed outside the gate of the community for a while.

He picked up the mobile phone in the armrest box, and the screen lit up with the action, but the owner did not see it for a long time.

After the screen went dark, the phone was put down again.

Du Zhinian repeated this action several times, and when the time jumped to 6:00, he finally couldn't help but click on Shen Guiwan's profile picture.

He dragged Shen Guiwan to the blacklist, and threw the phone on the co-pilot angrily.

Who does Shen Guiwan sympathize with Du Zhinian?

Du Zhinian took a deep breath and stepped on the accelerator hard.

The black car drove through the empty road, drove from the suburbs to the city, and finally stopped at the gate of the hospital.

Du Zhinian parked the car in the underground parking lot, did not change into a white coat, and went directly to the meeting room with his mobile phone.

There was an impromptu meeting on the weekend. Although Du Zhinian was in a bad mood, he had basic professionalism and did not bring his personal emotions to work.

It's just that he just passed through the night, and he was a little powerless. He was distracted several times during the meeting, and he didn't even listen to what the dean said.

The director saw Du Zhinian's fatigue and stopped him after the meeting.

"Xiao Du, didn't you sleep after having fun yesterday?" The director said earnestly, "Young people, take it easy."

"Sorry, there's something wrong at home." Du Zhinian admitted his mistake in a low voice.

The director didn't take it seriously, and patted Du Zhinian on the shoulder, "The dean may talk to you in a while, and I'll tell you in advance, you know what's in your mind."

After he finished speaking, he looked around again, and after confirming that there was no one else, he came to Du Zhinian's ear, and said in a low voice, "The new dean has settled down, and he is not on the same side as the old dean. The people behind him are the same as your father." It's competition."

Du Hengyu intervened in the number of places for Du Zhinian's advanced studies. Anyone in the hospital with a little right to speak knew about it, and the director was the one who personally took Du Zhinian's name off the list.

He doesn't want to offend people, but he also doesn't want to see promising young people shackled by conceited elders.

Du Zhinian heard the concern and hint in the elder's words, and smiled politely: "Understood, thank you, Director."

"It's a small matter, let's go back and rest early." The director left slowly with his hands behind his back.

There was a dedicated doctor on duty at the hospital on weekends. Du Zhinian was only called to a meeting temporarily, and went home after the meeting was over.

He pushed open the door, looked at the corner where the lazy sofa was placed, and said casually: "I'll—"

Du Zhinian's voice stopped abruptly, and the unfinished words were in his tongue, but he couldn't say anything.

The corner where Du Zhinian went subconsciously was the place where he could see Shen Guiwan's figure every day when he opened the door.

Shen Guiwan always stays in that corner reading a book, waiting for him to come back.

Du Zhinian always looked forward to such a scene when he got off work, but now, the beanbag sofa was standing quietly in the corner, but he couldn't see that familiar figure anymore.

It takes 21 days to form a habit, and [-] days to change it into a new habit. It took Du Zhinian three months to get used to facing an empty and quiet room alone, but Shen Guiwan only stayed here for a while. By ten days, I was actually used to seeing him when I went home.

Shen Guiwan returned home, and a strange sense of loss lingered in Du Zhinian's heart.

He felt weird, but couldn't erase the feeling.

Du Zhinian took out his mobile phone and wanted to send Shen Guiwan a message, but he searched through the address book, but couldn't find Shen Guiwan's blank profile picture.

He stared at the phone in a daze for a while, only to remember that he blocked Shen Guiwan.

Du Zhinian sat slumped on the sofa, his gaze casually scanning every corner of the room.

The apartment was still the same as it was when we left, Shen Guiwan's coat was hanging on the balcony, the unfinished book was placed on the coffee table in the living room, and the cups used last night were still on the coffee table.

Shen Guiwan didn't leave too many traces in the living room, but as soon as Du Zhinian walked into the bedroom, he would see the set of pajamas he once wore on the bed.

Just broke up with his lover, Du Zhinian didn't want to see anything belonging to him in the room.

He put away the books, threw Shen Guiwan's pajamas into the washing machine, and came back with Shen Guiwan's coat to tidy up the bedroom.

Du Zhinian opened the closet and was about to stuff Shen Guiwan's coat in, but saw the clothes he bought for Shen Guiwan last weekend.

Even though he bought new clothes, Shen Guiwan still had very few things, those few thin clothes were almost drowned by Du Zhinian's dark winter clothes.

But the lamb wool jacket that I bought out of my bad taste was placed in the most conspicuous position, reminding Du Zhinian like a sign.

Du Zhinian sighed wearily as he stroked the soft lamb's wool.

He and Shen Guiwan, why are they lovers.

Du Zhinian threw himself into the big bed, took out the phone in his pocket, and dragged Shen Guiwan's account out of the blacklist.

He looked at the blank profile picture, typed a few lines in the dialog box, hesitated for a long time, and finally deleted them all.

I don't know if Shen Guiwan is still angry, please contact me after a while.

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