Salt woman and white lotus

Chi Zhongying is a person with a lack of emotional life.He lives numbly, day after day, year after year.Finally, the torment of the disease has reached the limit that can be endured at last.He couldn't bear his painful and boring life, exhausted all the courage in his body, and decided to bid farewell to the world.

Well, cherish your last day.

I made up my mind in the middle of the night that day, when the hour hand just dragged past twelve o'clock.People in the dormitory gathered in the study room, which made Chi Zhongying, who went to bed on time, an outlier.

He should be the same as his roommates—go to the self-study room for self-study, or use a cheap desk lamp to illuminate a corner of the room in the dormitory, and anxiously recite while there is still a period of time before the exam.

Usually he would indeed do this, even if he knew that he could not learn more things, he would still pretend.Looks the same, then is the same.People are mostly perfunctory in this way, whether it is the judgment side or the pretending side.

But he was tired and didn't want to pretend anymore.

Is there anything else you want?Chi Zhongying asked himself.As an insomniac, he naturally wanted to have a sweet dream, but he couldn't.

There are less than eight hours until the nearest exam.

At 01:30 am today, students of all grades in the Department of Management will take a high-level math test together; at [-]:[-] pm, it will be a management test.

There are still 24 hours before Chi Zhongying's death.

Time passed, and with about 18 hours left, Chi Zhongying was woken up by her roommate.

"It's almost seven o'clock. If you don't wake up, it will be too late." The roommate pulled the quilt covering his head to his chest.

Chi Zhongying was dazzled by the morning light outside, he narrowed his eyes and turned his face to the side.

In his hand is a pile of books.Textbooks, exercise books, play paper, and gel pens were scattered all over the bed.Chi Zhongying threw it neatly into the schoolbag, and then folded the quilt.

The roommates are busy with their own work.The hurried morning of the students is always busy in their own way.Firstly, everyone is still a new classmate whom they have just met for a short time, and they will not have too deep feelings; secondly, when they are too busy to take care of themselves, who has time to take care of other people's affairs?

With his toothbrush in his mouth, Chi Zhongying saw himself in the mirror with deep dark circles under his eyes, and his tired face made him ten years older.

The illness made him crippled and lifeless, a look that no one would like after looking at him.

fine.When he died, his classmates would not feel sorry for him.As for the family?that's not important.

Thinking "it's not important", but when Chi Zhongying left the dormitory, he still wore an old shirt.It was the last thing the family bought him a few years ago, for his 16th birthday.

At ten o'clock, Chi Zhongying finished answering all the questions on the paper, handed in the paper and left the examination room.He is not the first, nor will he be the last.But among these people, he was the only one who was exposed to advanced mathematics for the last time.

His talent is not high, especially after his brain is damaged, it is difficult for him to understand new knowledge in class.Learning advanced mathematics should not be difficult.

But it doesn't matter anymore.Chi Zhongying thought optimistically, anyway, he was dying, and this kind of thing could no longer bother him.

It seems that many things are not so important.In the face of death, the hard work of schoolwork, the frustration of interpersonal relationships, and the gloomy past all become worthless.

Putting down the burden on his shoulders, Chi Zhongying felt unprecedentedly relaxed.

When he walked out of the teaching building, he saw the light of the sky above his head, and the world suddenly became much brighter.Chi Zhongying heard the soft sound of the wind blowing the forest leaves, the melodious chirping of sparrows, and the sound of freedom.

No scruples are boys.

He matured too quickly, forcing himself to be brave and independent, and it was not until fourteen hours before his death that he knew what "youth and frivolity" was for the first time—the first time he experienced such happiness.

Lunch is a set meal in the cafeteria, two meat and one vegetarian.Fried chicken nuggets, boiled pork slices and stewed rapeseed are paired with two or three steamed hard rice. The aroma of oil and meat blooms in the mouth with the bite of the teeth. He was about to cry.

It's been too long since he's had the taste of normal food.The last time was long before high school, and the sensible and obedient child didn’t know how to ask. His parents took him for his birthday and invited him to a local seafood restaurant.Although he has mild allergies and rashes when he eats seafood, the umami taste is unforgettable and he is very happy.

Although, it wasn't actually his birthday.

Eating to survive and eating to be hungry and greedy are two different concepts.Today's Chi Zhongying is the latter.

Sitting alone in a corner of the cafeteria, surrounded by people, but he skillfully separated from it.Yes, he is dead.long dead. There are still twelve hours left for the "ghost" to stay in the human world.

After lunch, Chi Zhongying went to the examination room ahead of time, and chose the most convenient position to see everyone in the examination room - the last row by the window.

Before the exam started, everyone chatted in twos and threes, or memorized books without saying a word.The management exam is difficult, with the exception of Chi Zhongying, who can always easily understand the content of the class.

After the test paper was handed out, Chi Zhongying signed his name on the sidebar. The neat handwriting was a habit he was raised.

He practiced calligraphy every day until his third year of high school.The handwriting he imitated came from another person - his dead sister, Chi Zhongying.The father's surname is Chi, the mother's surname is Zhong, and that person is called Chi Zhongying. It is the crystallization of their love and the proof of their affection for each other.

My sister was only 14 years old when he died, before he was born.His elder brother Chi Qinggu told him many things about her.Parents raised him to be like her, as if the older sister was just another body.He is a victim.

Similar preferences, similar handwriting, this is the "compromise" of him who was forcibly distorted and turned into another person.

Chi Zhongying was stunned for a long time, until the invigilator came to his side and tapped on his desk lightly.

The sound of tuk tuk woke him up.Chi Zhongying nodded to the teacher, smiled apologetically, and began to answer the questions.

When collecting the test papers, the invigilator found a strange test paper.The name column on the side was drawn with two lines, and there was another handwriting on the side of the name column, which was quite messy and did not match the handwriting on the entire scroll.

The crooked handwriting looks like it was written by a young child who is just learning to write. There is only one word in it.

"四".

He wrote the word with his left hand.It used a font that had no trace of her and belonged to him.

He wants to live wantonly and wonderfully.This is the name he gave himself.

Nine hours until death.The nine hours he wanted to do as he wanted.

After the exam, Chi Zhongying went back to the dormitory and slept for an hour.It was as if the spell had been broken, and he was safe and sound.In the sound of the alarm, he woke up and suddenly felt a little disappointed.

He hadn't lived a good life, he was going to die.But he cannot be free while alive.

So, what is the best thing to prove that a person is alive?

He wants to ask the people around him, ask the teacher, what can best prove that a person is alive?His achievement?his property?

But no one will pay attention to him.It was as if he had never been loved by anyone.

No one is willing to take great pains to find a clear self among thousands of people.

But even though he is so small, he still looks forward to... being loved.

...It's love.

If it wasn't for love, then he wouldn't need to live instead of her.At home, she will always wear her favorite style of skirt, keep the same long hair as her, and one day in the future, she will be married off from the Chi family as someone she has never met.

Because of love, she was cherished and never really died, so he never really lived.

But how can anyone love him.

Chi Zhongying did skin care for himself, put on a simple makeup, and then put on a mask for himself—a gift given to him by his roommate, and a gift he received when he went to help out in their animation club.The silver Venetian mask is like a gift from the devil, in exchange for a chance to be loved, and he will give everything later.

He took off the white shirt given by his family, and put on the only tight leather jacket in the closet—it was also a gift from the club, and his slightly thin body line was lined with temptation.

He goes out.

After four hours, he will leave this world.

Now, he sat down in front of the bar, attracted by the bright orange-red wine in the glass, which was as bright as the morning sun.

Tequila sunrise.

He ordered a sip.

There happened to be a masked dance in the bar, so his outfit was even more unusual.But in less than half an hour, the number of people who approached him had already been counted.

Nine o'clock sharp.Another person came to strike up a conversation with him.

This time was different from the previous ones.He told him not to drink any more.

He's caring about him, he's a good guy.

Chi Zhongying clumsily seduced him, and he took him away.

There is no need to worry about names and identities, it is enough to have a body that cuddles with each other.

Chi Zhongying tried to please this person with youthful movements, and the alcohol finally interfered with his last sanity in the intertwined lips and tongues.He fell on his back to the soft bed, even the tearing pain in his body was satisfied and happy.

The fiery temperature filled his empty body and ignited his soul.He tried his best to meet the requirements of his "lover", absurdly and naturally at the mercy of others, surrendering to greedy emotions to ask him for more, and screaming for him again and again.

The pain is far higher than the pleasure, but the pain this person brings still makes him happy.

At least for now, they only have each other.

This can also be called love.

enough.

Until the consciousness eased from the drowsiness again, he snuggled into the warm embrace of that person, wanting him to occupy himself again.

Chi Zhongying did not know where in the room the cell phone ding ding dong dong sounded, like the bell ringing to wake up Cinderella on the eve of the magic failure.

It was twelve o'clock, and this was the alarm he used to remind himself to go to bed early.

His rosy cheeks suddenly turned white.

"... Forget it." Chi Zhongying wiped the tears from his face, "Sorry, there is no way... I should go."

"Never mind. Won't you stay overnight? You're tired."

"No."

"Then... shall I send you off?"

Chi Zhongying admitted that at that moment his heart was moved.He imagined for a moment that he was really going back somewhere—home or school; and that he was with him, holding hands, or just walking side by side on the road.

He wants to promise him.

But what came out was still a lie: "Thank you, no need."

With his fingertips, he lightly stroked the half mask that covered the upper half of his face, which he had not taken off from the beginning to the end, and said with a gentle smile, "I can't let you know where I went."

The last 15 minute.

Chi Zhongying said goodbye to him, and the moment she closed the door, she suddenly regretted for no reason.On second thought, regret turned into regret again.

How nice it would be if someone really loved him.

Then he wouldn't have to die.

Chi Zhongying left there, wrapping his clothes tightly, trying to keep that person's temperature longer.He supported his sore waist and legs, and walked to the riverside within 10 minutes.

The middle section of the cross-river bridge has a good view. He overlooks the direction of the city center, which is brightly lit.Night seemed like day.

time to go.

He should go.

The suicide note has already been prepared, there is a handwritten copy in the school, and there is a similar short message in the mobile phone.Chi Zhongying hurriedly wrote the last part to be added - about his farewell to the man who loved him so much, and then walked on the cross-river bridge.

"That's it. Goodbye."

He hit send and sent the message to his brother, the perfect person to deliver it.

Sent successfully.

Chi Zhongying looked at the turbid night sky, his heart moved, and he looked in the direction he came from. From a distance, it seemed that someone unfamiliar and familiar was approaching, and there seemed to be some fragments of sound in the wind. He thought in a trance that it was The man is calling his name.

He smiled brightly, waved his hands over there, then put his hands on the guardrail, stood on the thin iron pole, and jumped.

In autumn, the river water is cold, and the temperature in the clothes instantly dissipates cleanly.

The momentary pressure of entering the water made him uncomfortable, followed by a constant feeling of suffocation.Gradually, I became used to the pain of the river water pouring into my lungs.The rapids took him far away, and he thought with a faint smile, would he turn into a fish?

Someone grabbed his finger under the water and approached him with difficulty.What Chi Zhongying saw on the bridge was not an illusion.

"Don't keep me, I should go."

Chi Zhongying opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

If I had met you sooner, or in other words, before I was determined to die... that would be great.

In the blurred vision, Chi Zhongying looked at the familiar and unfamiliar figure, and laughed briskly.

... How can I stay in a terminally ill.

At the last second, he tried his best to break away the hand that was holding his finger.

The author has something to say:

With this article as the end, the full text is over.

Unexpectedly, it was updated daily, and each chapter of the main text is more than [-] words.I didn't expect anyone to actually read this book.

As I said in the previous serialization, I created another world, a new book, just to keep the girl who died for no reason alive.

I have never been short of inspiration. I have combined multiple inspirations, and turned the protagonist of the inspiration whose setting is not detailed enough into a supporting role, and this "Salt and Lotus" has been formed.Therefore, this book is strictly a group portrait essay.

This book has two protagonists, Bai Yan and Chi Zhongying are both my narrative perspective and the core characters in the book.Qingshui Wen didn't involve TP issues, so the column of the copy had to be filled with unknown.

There is a side story that was not written, about Chi Zhongying from Yunshu World going back to her hometown to visit relatives, and the relationship between teacher Zhang Yuliang and the widow.

Hey hey hey.

This is the end of this book, everyone who has read this far, goodbye.