The daily life of a man as a monk

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The wind, blowing gently, brushed over the tip of the grass, bringing the sound of rustling.

The month is so bright.The pavilion lights are like stars in the night sky, with warm light, together with the moonlight, they illuminate the garden in the night, and also reflect the overlapping figures of the two brothers and sisters.

The night is so quiet, the air is so quiet.

There was some suffocating embarrassment in the silence.

Probably, this is the embarrassment of having a puppy love at a young age and being discovered by your parents.

The two teachers and brothers got up from the ground in desperation. Just before they stood upright and had no time to speak, Mr. Lin's complexion changed rapidly, and finally he seemed to have successfully persuaded himself in this short ten seconds, and faded away. The colorful black.

Ye Liang felt a sharp and scrutinizing gaze directed at him through Mr. Lin's lens. The gaze was very mean, sweeping him carefully from head to toe like an X-ray, and then retracted it.

Mr. Lin pushed his glasses, and cast a kindly gaze at Shen Xinghe, "Although you are an adult today, he is not yet. It's better to take it easy."

Shen Xinghe slowly made a question mark.

Mr. Lin didn't explain too much, but smiled understandingly, "I know I'm bothering you. But, Xinghe, can you talk to me?"

Shen Xinghe nodded, Ye Liang gestured to him, and walked elsewhere knowingly.

There were only two people left in the garden, but they were brothers who had been inseparable since childhood, but now they are a pair of father and son who are related by blood but are strangers to each other.

Shen Xinghe looked at Mr. Lin, not knowing what to say for a moment.

This was his father, one of the people he was most looking forward to seeing as long as he could remember, but now, after experiencing the treatment time and time again by the so-called relatives, he no longer looked forward to it, nor did he dare to look forward to it.

Perhaps, his father also came for Lin Yu.Shen Xinghe thought to himself mockingly.

Mr. Lin sat on the grass, as if he didn't care about the image that a business tycoon like him should have.He patted the seat beside him, "Sit."

Shen Xinghe sat down, and Mr. Lin looked at him sideways for a long time, as if he wanted to engrave his face deeply in his heart.

"I'm sorry." Mr. Lin said suddenly, "I'm sorry, Xinghe, I didn't meet you officially until now."

Shen Xinghe didn't speak, just put one hand on the bent leg, quietly cast his eyes in the air, casually looking at unknown places.

He thought he was used to it, used to disappointing his loved ones, not caring about anything they did.But now he knew that he was not used to it, he just kept his sadness in his heart and covered it up with indifference.

He is still not cold enough, nor is his heart strong enough.

Even if he didn't want to admit it, his parents brought him pain.No matter how beautiful he is outside, no matter how many Dharma practitioners respect him as the light of Dharma cultivation, no matter how kind his teacher is to him, blood relatives are a knot in his heart that he cannot get rid of.

Just like now, just a gentle apology from this strange father caused a storm in his heart that could not be controlled.He didn't know what he was expecting, what else to expect.

It's been so long, it's been several months since he came back to the Lin family, isn't the attitude of his relatives not obvious enough?

Shen Xinghe closed his eyes, and silently took a deep breath.The cold air of the night poured into his lungs hard, making his brain clear and allowing him to suppress the little flame burning in his heart again.

"It's okay," he said.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have stopped seeing you because of work. I thought they would handle it well." Mr. Lin said, "The Lin family only officially moved to China three years ago, so there are still many things to deal with abroad."

Shen Xinghe lowered his eyes, "I know, it doesn't matter."

Mr. Lin suddenly realized that it was too late to talk about all this, and the child who finally returned home had been hurt too deeply.

Whether it is the attitude of other relatives towards him, the protection of Lin Yu, or his self-righteous ignorance as a father, all these actions have caused irreparable harm to him.

Mr. Lin was silent for a long time, he looked at his young son.

His youngest son has a pair of beautiful phoenix eyes, the slightly upturned eye tails bring some inaccessible sharpness to his delicate face, his irises are light gray blue, Mr. Lin can almost Imagine how beautiful his pupils are in the sun, maybe they are like colored glaze.

Mr. Lin sighed, "I know, I am not a good father, and I have never been. Whether it is to you, or to your eldest brother and second sister, I have failed to take on the responsibility of being a father."

He bent down and inserted his hands into the hair roots on both sides.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I have been immersed in my emotions for so many years, neglecting my family and you."

Shen Xinghe looked at him.

Shen Xinghe realized that his father seemed to be in pain.It was a kind of pain from the heart, which seemed to have existed for a long time, and had already soaked his whole body.

Perhaps it was this kind of pain that made him even though he had reached a position that countless people envied, and possessed the wealth that many people longed for, he did not show any arrogance, and his brows and eyes still carried the bookishness of the past.

He is like the literati of the previous generation, gentle, refined, and melancholy.

Perhaps, it was precisely because of this character that he agreed to his family's request, which was a foolish and unreasonable request to Shen Xinghe, who declared that Lin Yu and Shen Xinghe were twins.

"That's your family." Shen Xinghe said, "It's not mine."

"Yeah, it's just mine." Mr. Lin took a breath and laughed at himself, "I'm sorry for them. If Yinglan hadn't taken the initiative to take care of the family for me, this family would have been in chaos 18 years ago. Yu'er... that baby who is still in the swaddling baby may not even survive."

Mr. Lin raised his head and looked deeply into Shen Xinghe's eyes, as if looking at someone through him.

"I used to think that Lin Yu's child looked more like me, so I didn't inherit her eyes." Mr. Lin pulled an extremely ugly smile, "I didn't know that Lin Yu didn't look like her until you appeared. Because it's not her child. You really look like her, more like your elder brother and your second sister. "

Shen Xinghe's heart skipped a beat, and he felt unbelievable immediately.

"Who is she?" Shen Xinghe asked.

"A woman I will never forget in my life." Mr. Lin said.

He opened his suit jacket and took out a pocket watch from the shirt pocket closest to his chest.The pocket watch is very old, so old that most of the silver paint attached to it has peeled off.

He gently opened the watch cover.Perhaps because of aging, the dial has stopped rotating and lost its proper function.But he still kept it with him, because of the person who gave him the pocket watch, and because of the photo on the watch cover.

It was a picture of him with a woman.The woman is very beautiful, which is completely different from the current Mrs. Lin.She has a pair of Ruifeng eyes that are very similar to Shen Xinghe's, and her facial features are very delicate.She was wearing the gentle cheongsam that women loved at that time, but she carried the unpopular heroism of that era.

"I'm sorry." Mr. Lin lowered his head, making it difficult to tell whether the apology was addressed to his son, the woman in the photo, or both. The fact that she's gone."

Shen Xinghe opened his eyes uncontrollably.Looking at the woman in the photo, he felt his body and his lips trembling.

He no longer felt sad for Mrs. Lin's alienation before, but began to feel sad because of the photos in front of him.His nose was a little sore, and his eye sockets seemed to be hot. He tried to say something, but he couldn't make a sound when he opened his mouth.

"Can I hug you?" Mr. Lin asked.

Shen Xinghe looked at his father.Unlike the well-maintained Mrs. Lin, although his father still had an extraordinary appearance, his face was already covered with traces of time, and his hair was also stained with frost.

He was suddenly very sad for his father.

He nodded.

Mr. Lin smiled and gently embraced his youngest son.

"I'm sorry." Mr. Lin hugged Shen Xinghe, unable to see his face clearly, "Xinghe, it's all my fault. If only I had been there when she entered the delivery room, then I could see her for the last time. I won't lose you either."

Shen Xinghe hesitated a little, but finally reached out and hugged his father.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault. Even after you came back, I was running away. I thought I had let go after so many years, but when you appeared, I realized that I hadn't. I was still afraid, and still didn't dare." Lin The husband's voice was very depressed, and he could no longer hide his choking, "I dare not face the child who made her life disappear."

"I'm a selfish person," Mr. Lin said, "whether it was before or now. I can't forget her, but for the sake of the family, I married Yinglan and your stepmother. She took care of the children wholeheartedly, just like a real mother You brought up your brothers, sisters and Lin Yu, but I was relieved when I knew that Lin Yu was not her child."

"You are back. I dare not face you, but I am selfishly happy that you don't regard Yinglan as your biological mother like Lin Yu, and you won't be as close as your brothers and sisters. Your mother will always It's her alone."

he is crying.Shen Xinghe clearly realized that his father was crying.

His father's body was trembling uncontrollably, tears kept pouring out, wetting Shen Xinghe's collar and shoulders.

His father said sorry over and over again, for him and for his long-gone mother, and it seemed to be venting, venting the emotions that had been suppressed for so many years.

Shen Xinghe patted Mr. Lin on the back lightly, once, once.This time he never said the word "it's okay", but after listening to Mr. Lin's suppressed sobs in silence, he said inaudibly, "I still can't forgive you."

Mr. Lin hugged his hand tightly and let out a "hmm".

"Give me some more time." Shen Xinghe said, "Father."

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