round spring

I'm so bad, I left, but I left the diary, which is my confession, no matter whether it is red or white in the future, I have to bear it.

——An Yuan's Diary

(one more)

Shen Xingchun turned around, put his arms around his chest, leaned back, stared at Lin Hao half-closed and asked, "How do you know it's Xiao Yuaner's diary? Tell me, when did you know?"

Lin Hao was uncomfortable with Shen Xingchun's cold eyes. He raised his hand and touched his neck, his eyes dodged, and he said, "Well, Dachun, I accidentally read Xiaoyuan'er's diary before. I didn't mean to read it. of."

After Lin Hao finished speaking, he felt that Shen Xingchun's air pressure was getting lower and lower, and wanted to change the subject, "Xiao Rui is waiting for me to set off flowers with him. I moved a whole box of fireworks, big and small..."

Lin Hao said, turned around and wanted to leave.

Shen Xingchun stretched his legs, blocked Lin Hao, and dragged him back, "Come back, there's no rush to put the flowers, it's not even ten o'clock, tell me, what's going on?"

Lin Hao had promised An Yuan not to talk about the diary before, but judging from Shen Xingchun's reaction now, he should already know it, and he probably had read the diary, so he turned around and stood side by side with Shen Xingchun, first sighed, then Before that, when Shen Xingchun was eighteen, he had accidentally read An Yuan's diary to Shen Xingchun.

"I promised Xiao Yuan'er not to tell you," Lin Hao turned his head and asked Shen Xingchun again, "Then why is Xiao Yuan'er's diary here with you?"

"When he left, some things were left behind." Shen Xingchun said flatly.

"Did it fall?" Lin Hao didn't believe it. "How could such a private thing as a diary fall? You didn't steal it, did you?"

Shen Xingchun squinted at Lin Hao, gave a "sneer", and asked in a cold voice, "When did you see me stealing something?"

"Then why did it fall?" Lin Hao wondered, scratched his head, and changed the subject, "By the way, didn't Xiao Yuaner say that she didn't have a mother before? Why did she go away with her mother again?"

"His mother has been abroad before. She came back some time ago. When she came home, she took An Yuan away. His mother's condition is very good. Xiao Yuan'er's life will be better with her." Shen Xingchun didn't say other details.

Lin Hao nodded and asked again: "Then he is back?"

"Return," Shen Xingchun said with certainty, "Isn't this still his home?"

"You know that's not what I meant." Lin Hao turned around, scanned Shen Xingchun several times from head to toe, and said directly, "I'm not surprised to see you like this, you should have read the diary too." Right, you and Xiao Yuaner, what's the situation now? He didn't go with his mother because you rejected him, did he?"

"It's nothing." Shen Xingchun knocked on the edge of the kang with his heel, and said nothing else.

"No situation, what's the situation? No situation, what is your expression now?"

"What expression do I have?" Shen Xingchun smiled.

"What expression are you talking about?" Lin Hao pinched Shen Xingchun's chin and turned back and forth, "Look at your dissatisfied expression."

Shen Xingchun patted Lin Hao's hand away, scolded "Get out" with a smile, and said, "Didn't you say you want to put flowers? Where are the flowers?"

Lin Hao knew that since Shen Xingchun didn't say anything, he definitely wouldn't be able to ask, so he waved his hand, "I don't want to ask you, Muffy gourd, I used to think that it's wrong for men to like men, what's that called, but I think Seeing Xiao Yuan'er look at your eyes every time, sometimes it really hurts, if you two are really together, I think it's okay, it's fine..."

An Yuan didn't turn off the lights, and lay down after taking a bath. He didn't turn on the TV, the room was very quiet, the wind outside the window rustled the leaves, and occasionally the elegant fragrance of flowers came in from the open window. He smelled it, but he didn't know exactly what flower it was.

He lay with his eyes closed for more than an hour, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, and finally got up from the bed, opened his schoolbag and took out a notebook from it. The notebook was new, and he had bought it for homework during the winter vacation. Not used.

He sat at the desk, opened the notebook, held a pen and wrote his name vertically on the first page, and wrote three words next to the name——

Journal.

The tip of the pen landed on the upper right corner of the second page, writing down the year, month, and day——

On February 2000, 2, Friday, New Year's Eve, the weather was fine.

……

When the phone rang, An Yuan had just put down his pen, he looked up at the time, it was almost 11:30, the phone rang several times before he picked up the receiver, and said "Hello" to the receiver.

The background sound on the other end of the phone is a bit chaotic, there are firecrackers, footsteps, and TV. The Spring Festival Gala program is still going on. Occasionally, I can hear Xiaohua meow twice. Under the chaotic sound, there is a slightly low and hoarse voice The sound came from the receiver into An Yuan's ear, scratching his pinna, and then went deeper.

"Seventeen, happy birthday, Xiaoyuan."

It was Shen Xingchun, An Yuan knew it was him before he answered the phone, and replied softly: "Thank you, Brother Chun, Happy New Year, Brother Chun."

"Well," Shen Xingchun said in a low voice, "When did you arrive?"

"It's only at night."

"Just arrive."

After Shen Xingchun finished speaking, he was quiet for a while. An Yuan heard Shen Rui calling him to go out to set off the fireworks. Before Shen Xingchun could speak, he said, "Brother Chun, go to set off the fireworks first. I'm too tired on the road, so I'll go to bed first." .”

Shen Xingchun said something to Shen Rui, and then said "OK" to the phone.

A phone call lasted 3 minutes, without saying a word, and more silent time.

An Yuan hung up the phone and blinked out of the window, then turned his gaze back and looked at his new diary blankly. The notebook is very ordinary, and it costs two yuan a copy in the stationery store. Regular geometric pattern in black.

He sat on the chair for a while, finally closed the diary, went to bed and lay down, but still couldn't fall asleep.

The windows were left open all night, and the wind blew all night, so An Yuan didn't go downstairs for dinner the next morning.

At first, Jiang Lan thought that An Yuan was too tired, and wanted him to sleep more, but it was not until noon that An Yuan hadn't woken up. After Jiang Lan went upstairs, she realized that An Yuan's face was blushing abnormally. She reached out and touched it. His forehead was hot, his lips were dry and chapped, and he was muttering something open and closed.

Jiang Lan lowered her head and listened, only to hear that he had been subconsciously calling "Brother Chun".

An illness came suddenly but it was not unexpected. An Yuan stayed in the hospital for three days and lay down on the hospital bed in a daze for three days.

During those three days, he kept dreaming. First, he dreamed about his own childhood. At that time, he was still very young and lived with his father.

The time in the dream was very chaotic, and the time stretched far away in a second, until he was 12 years old, the year he met Shen Xingchun for the first time.

In the dream, Shen Xingchun was 16 years old, with the brim of his hat crooked, with a wheat-colored face in the sun, and a clear voice, with rough fingertips pinching his face, calling him "a bear boy".

Shen Xingchun held his hand again and walked straight forward, the road seemed to have no end, they kept walking, the background color of the dream kept changing, it was red for a while, and white for a while.

The last scene in the dream was fixed on the morning when he was about to leave. He stood in the hut with his back to Shen Xingchun, packing his luggage little by little, folded a few clothes and put them in the schoolbag, and put a few books in the bag. At the bottom, he took out his diary.

An Yuan knew that Shen Xingchun was standing behind him, looking up at the dart board on the wall.

Shen Xingchun looked at the dart board and said, "Shall we leave today? The Chinese New Year is only a few days away, and the [-]th of the year is your birthday."

An Yuan turned her head and saw that Shen Xingchun was only wearing a sweater. Half of the teeth marks were exposed from the collar of the sweater on one side of the neck, and the other half was covered under the sweater. It was bitten by him. He knew that he had used a lot of strength and wanted to It took the same strength to eat Shen Xingchun.

An Yuan stared at the red tooth marks, mixed his diary among several books and notebooks, and placed them neatly on the folded clothes aside.

"After the new year, there will be more things. Jiang Lan also said that he will go to Guangzhou to get a branch office." An Yuan put his schoolbag on his back and added before going out: "Brother, the one that was folded on the kang A few clothes are too small, so I won’t take them with you. You can tidy them up for me later, and you can tidy up the books for me too.

……

An Yuan was discharged from the hospital and lay in bed for another seven days, as if he had lived through the past few years again. He couldn't eat for a few days when he was sick, and vomited whatever he ate. His face was as white as paper, and he lost a lot of weight visible to the naked eye. , his eyes kept floating.

Jiang Lan was very worried about him, but fortunately, after the tenth day of the lunar new year, Anyuan got better a little bit, she was able to eat, and her complexion improved a little.

Seeing that he was getting better, Jiang Lan discussed with An Yuan and hired an English teacher for him.

At first, Jiang Lan was afraid that An Yuan would not want to go to the Congress with her to reject the teacher, but An Yuan took classes very seriously every day. Apart from the eight-hour classes every day, she would also watch English movies and listen to various tapes in her room after that. .

Whenever he wants to learn something, he will get into it with all his heart. Except for making a few phone calls to his grandma, he spends the rest of his time studying.

Jiang Lan asked An Yuan what she thought at the beginning. If An Yuan wanted to stay in China to study, she could slowly transfer her career to China.

But An Yuan gave her a very casual answer, saying that he could be anywhere, and finally Jiang Lan took him to Washington.

(Small second update)

An Yuan came back once in the summer of the second year. Grandma heard that An Yuan had applied for a famous university and was admitted. She was so happy that she almost yelled at the gate of the courtyard with a loudspeaker. Even if An Yuan said the name of the school several times, she never pronounced it completely once when she said it herself. Either this word was missing or that word was missing.

"Our Xiaoyuan is really good." Grandma and grandpa repeated for a long time. From the time they received Anyuan at the entrance of the village, everyone on the road praised them, saying that their Xiaoyuan was very good.

Grandpa always echoed "It's amazing" next to him, and then smiled and said to grandma: "Look at you, you were like this when you were in college in the spring."

"You're not arrogant? Don't think I don't know you. My beard is blowing to the sky. I must be arrogant. Our two grandsons are so powerful." The grandma was so happy that she took An Yuan's arm and walked back , "Xiaoyuan'er finally came back, stay at home for a few more days, your brother hasn't had summer vacation yet, but it will be soon, wait for your brother to come back."

An Yuan quickly answered, "Grandma, I won't wait for Brother Chun to go on vacation. I won't be able to stay for a few days when I come back this time. I have to leave in a week at most. My mother is handling things at the Guangzhou branch. I have to go back to school with her in a few days."

"Only a week?" Grandma said reluctantly.

"A week at most."

Grandma Shen still doesn't know what the two grandsons are at odds with each other. After listening to An Yuan's words, they still haven't reconciled. ?"

An Yuan shook her head, "I didn't say anything."

Although An Yuan didn't say anything, the people in Beijing knew it. It wasn't a few minutes later than grandma. It wasn't grandma who called Shen Xingchun first. It was Lin Hao who told Shen Xingchun that Lin Hao went to school in Shanghai. Dad called him and told him that his dad heard from Grandma Shen when he was on the road.

After going around like this, after passing several people's mouths, only An Yuan, the person concerned, did not speak.

Shen Xingchun was riding a bicycle on the side of the road when he received a call from Lin Hao. He was on his way to his tutoring class. After answering the call, he put one foot on the bicycle pedal and the other on the curb.

The noon sun was very poisonous, the sweat on the top of Shen Xingchun's head slid down his wheat-colored cheeks, and dark sweat stains had already stained his collar.

Lin Hao talked a lot on the phone, Shen Xingchun parked his bicycle to the side of the road, walked to a plane tree by the side of the road, bent over holding the phone with one hand, and resting the other on his knee.

It wasn't until Lin Hao finished speaking that Shen Xingchun stood up straight, leaning his back on the trunk of the sycamore tree, with the toes of his left foot stepping on the root of the tree, and raised his hand to fan his neck before speaking: "The school is very good, Xiaoyuan is here. It can't be any different."

"Oh," Lin Hao dragged his voice, laughing meanly, "That's not bad, but how can I listen, you are not very happy when you are a brother."

The sun shines on Shen Xingchun's angular and resolute side face from the gaps in the sycamore leaves. He thinks it's hot in summer, and his hair is shaved even shorter, sticking to his scalp. He raised his hand and touched the top of his head. Looking at the sun that was too bright above his head, he swallowed and said, "Happy, why are you unhappy? It's a good thing."

"It's a good thing," Lin Hao said, "However, Xiao Yuan'er has been saying that she wants to take the exam in your school, but now she doesn't follow her, so I thought you were in a bad mood."

Shen Xingchun didn't answer, Lin Hao asked him: "Dachun, are you in love now?"

"I don't have the leisure and time."

"Do you have no time, or don't you want to?" Lin Hao asked with a raised voice.

Shen Xingchun didn't respond, and asked again: "When did Xiao Yuan'er come back?"

"Just now, maybe half an hour ago, when my dad called me, he just came back from your house." Lin Hao always wanted to know what was going on in Shen Xingchun's mind, and he stopped talking when he seized the opportunity, "You want to know how Why don’t you call An Yuan yourself, don’t you have a PHS now? You can call him at any time and ask if you don’t know An Yuan’s phone number? If you don’t know, I know. I tell you."

"Lin Hao, you owe it every day." Shen Xingchun laughed and scolded him on the phone, stomped the tree trunk with his foot, and a few sycamore leaves fell leisurely on the top of his head and shoulders.

Shen Xingchun pushed aside the leaves with his hands, picked up the leaves that fell on his shoulders, twirled them on his fingers, and said to Lin Hao, "I won't tell you anymore, I'm dead, and there is still work to do."

"What are you doing?" Lin Hao asked.

"Tutor, I'm riding a bike on the road, and I still have half an hour to go, so I hung up." Shen Xingchun didn't wait for Lin Hao to speak again, and hung up the phone in a hurry.

After Shen Xingchun hung up the phone, he didn't leave in a hurry, and sat cross-legged on the ground, holding the phone in his hand and pressing it for a long time.

Of course he had An Yuan's phone. Jiang Lan bought An Yuan a mobile phone very early on, but he basically didn't use it much except for calling his grandparents.

Shen Xingchun's PHS was given to him by the student's parents after their child was admitted to university when he was a tutor. There were not many numbers stored in it. He never called An Yuan, only during the holidays and the other party's birthday. Time to send a few messages to each other.

There are only a few pieces of information, and the content is very concise. Just looking at the conversations, they don't look like brothers, family members, or friends. They don't seem like anything.

The first one was the summer a year ago, on Shen Xingchun's birthday.