round spring

Goodbye, brother Chun, still with my flustered heartbeat.

——An Yuan's Diary

The SARS summer ended, and there were less and less news on TV, but after that, the text messages between An Yuan and Shen Xingchun never stopped, but they didn't reply to Shen Xingchun's text message asking him to go back during the Chinese New Year.

An Yuan only sent Shen Xingchun "good night" when he woke up the next day, and Shen Xingchun quickly replied "good morning". One of them was in the daytime, the other was in the night, so one good morning, one good night, This is also their most common dialogue.

Text messages are sent from summer to autumn, and then to winter, and the whole year is almost over.

Shen Xingchun never asked An Yuan again if he would go back during the Chinese New Year, that text message seemed to never exist.

But during the day and at night, when the two of them lay on the bed and looked up the previous text message with their mobile phones, the text message was indeed in each other's mobile phones.

Shen Xingchun called An Yuan at Christmas time. An Yuan was attending the Christmas ball with his classmates. He kept his cell phone in his bag, and he didn't hear it after it rang twice. It was the classmate next to him who reminded him that the phone rang.

When An Yuan took out the phone, the ringtone had already been cut off, and when she saw the two missed calls from Shen Xingchun, she stared at the phone with staring eyes for a long time without returning to her senses.

When the ringtone rang again, An Yuan pressed the answer button all at once, and put the phone next to her ear, which felt a little cold against her ear.

"Xiao Yuaner?" Shen Xingchun on the phone spoke first.

An Yuan could hear that Shen Xingchun should be walking, and his breathing was not steady when he was speaking, and just hearing the sound of footsteps, he guessed that he should be going up the stairs.

This was the first phone call between the two in four years. Although they had been texting constantly before this phone call, the feeling of hearing the voice was different from reading the text. An Yuan pressed the phone closer to her ear, as if like this The sound will be closer, and closer, until it can poke as close as the chest.

The laboratory Shen Xingchun was going to was on the fourth floor. He walked up to the third floor with the phone in his hand and turned a corner. He walked along the corridor for a while, and when he opened a door to enter, he found that he didn't know the students inside. My first reaction was not that I went wrong, I thought that other students went wrong, until a boy who knew him in the laboratory opened his mouth, called him "senior", and asked him: "Senior, why don't you come to us?" The laboratory, are you looking for someone?"

Holding the phone, Shen Xingchun took two steps back, raised his head and glanced at the door plate, only to realize that he had gone wrong, then nodded slightly to the student who was talking to him just now, and then closed the other door again.

Shen Xingchun didn't hear An Yuan's voice, so he called him again on the phone, "Xiao Yuaner?"

It's not that An Yuan didn't respond, he opened his mouth twice and made two very small sounds, like the grunting sounds from the throat of a small animal, so thin and light that Shen Xingchun didn't hear them.

An Yuan raised his hand and squeezed the Adam's apple in front of his neck, and tried to open his mouth again, this time there was a voice, "Brother Chun?"

"It's me," Shen Xingchun said, "Are you busy now?"

"At the Yule Ball with my classmates."

The music in the hall was too loud, An Yuan quickly went out with her mobile phone, found a quiet corner in the yard and sat on the steps, concentrating on calling Shen Xingchun, beside a beautifully decorated Christmas tree.

"Did I bother you?" Shen Xingchun heard the sound of music over there when An Yuan was answering the phone, as well as the sound of noisy talking.

He didn't wait for An Yuan to answer, and continued on his own: "I just went to the wrong lab. My lab is on the fourth floor. I went to the third floor. When I opened the door and went in, there were four students in one lab. Turning around and looking at me, my first reaction was that the other four people had gone wrong..."

Shen Xingchun talked for a long time by himself, while An Yuan sat on the steps and listened so carefully, for fear of missing a word.

Shen Xingchun's tone and voice were still the same as before, as if the blank time of nearly four years in between had disappeared. The strangeness and restraint that An Yuan was afraid of at first were lost by Shen Xingchun's two words, as if they were still talking to each other. The same as before, they are good brothers in the eyes of others.

But An Yuan knew in his heart that even without these four years, the relationship between him and Shen Xingchun would have changed a long time ago, and they were not good friends at all.

An Yuan thought a lot, but was still laughed at by Shen Xingchun, and said, "Brother Chun, when did you react so slowly?"

Shen Xingchun smiled and said, "It's the first time."

After Shen Xingchun finished speaking, An Yuan had nothing to say again. Shen Xingchun took the phone away and looked at the time. He was going to be busy soon, and he couldn't gossip. Come back for Chinese New Year?"

An Yuan held the mobile phone in one hand, and propped the other hand by his side. His palms were resting on the marble countertop. His fingertips were numb from the cold. He hadn't figured out how to answer. A classmate came out to look for him. He didn't speak, just sat on the steps, didn't notice that he was on the phone, dragged him in and danced, and hung up the phone just so carelessly.

Shen Xingchun heard someone else's voice from An Yuan's side, and thought that An Yuan could say a few more words, but An Yuan hung up the phone after a few seconds.

A phone call ended endlessly, Shen Xingchun stood at the stairs, stared at the phone that had been hung up for a long time, and finally put the phone in his pocket and entered the laboratory.

Shen Xingchun kept busy for a long time, until he returned home from the winter vacation. Although he and An Yuan had text messages every day, the two of them never called again.

An Yuan returned to the country with his parents in the middle of the twelfth lunar month. They went back to Guangzhou first. An Yuan bought a plane ticket and left the next day. Before leaving, he said that he would come back after celebrating the new year at his grandma’s house. An Guoqing originally wanted to go back with him. , but because Guangzhou still has something to deal with, I didn't go with An Yuan, and said that I would go to see it a few days later.

Four full years have passed since the winter he left that year.

Shen Xingchun sent a text message and a phone call, told him to go back twice in total, An Yuan's heart has been hanging in the air for more than half a year, going up and down for a while, just tossing him up and down.

Although An Yuan had been wrestling with him for a year, four years to be precise, the night before he left and Shen Xingchun was almost torn apart, and the diary he deliberately left for Shen Xingchun later.

But An Yuan knew very well in his heart that no matter how contradictory he was in his heart, he couldn't refuse Shen Xingchun. When Shen Xingchun asked him to go back for the first time in the text message, he knew that he would definitely go back.

Before An Yuan came back, she didn't tell her grandma, and she didn't ask An Guoqing to tell her in advance. When she entered the house with her bag, Shen Xingchun was bending over and sticking to the crack of the cabinet looking for something. Next to him was bending over, and another Just arrived at his thigh-high little girl.

The little girl is Shen Qiu, three and a half years old, and now the whole family's favorite.

There were already three children in the family. Before Zhao Lihong gave birth to Shen Qiu, the whole family was looking forward to having a little girl. In the end, she really was a little girl. Grandpa Shen and Grandma Shen were so spoiled that they had to bring her back every Chinese New Year.

Shen Xingchun looked into the closet for a long time and couldn't see anything. He opened the side of the big closet with one hand, and took a flashlight from the side. After opening it, he shone in the crack and said, "Xiaoqiu, don't you see it next time?" With my brother's consent, I can't rummage through my bag, and now my things are gone."

Shen Qiu also realized his mistake, and followed Shen Xingchun with his head down, looking inside vigorously. His chubby little hands rummaged from here to there, with a guilty expression on his face, "I'm sorry, Brother Chun, I didn't do it on purpose. Lost."

One big and one small bent down to search carefully, but they didn't notice that someone came in behind them, until An Yuan put the things in his hand on the ground, picked up Shen Qiu from the side, and bent down together to look around. Then he opened his mouth: "What's missing? I'll help you find it."

Shen Qiu was suddenly picked up by someone, and said "ah", the child's voice was high-pitched, and the voice of "ah" was loud, the round eyes stared wide open, staring at An Yuan.

Shen Qiu hadn't seen An Yuan before, but he could often see An Yuan on his grandma's mobile phone. Grandma told her that it was Xiao Yuan'er brother.

Shen Qiu met An Yuan's eyes, An Yuan raised his hand to touch her chubby face, and said with a smile: "Xiao Qiu, call me brother."

The little girl laughed all of a sudden, she didn't recognize her life at all, and called out in a childish voice: "It's Brother Xiaoyuan, Grandma has told me many times before that I should call someone when I see you." .”

"So cute." An Yuan smiled and touched the braid on top of Shen Qiu's head.

Shen Qiu didn't let An Yuan hold her for a long time, and got off An Yuan's body with a flutter of legs, "Brother Xiaoyuan, I lost Brother Chun's pen, can you help find it together? Brother Chun said that pen is very It's important, but I forgot where to throw it again."

An Yuan stood up straight, and then looked at Shen Xingchun.

Shen Xingchun leaned against the cabinet door with his back, and stood very straight. He was also looking back at An Yuan. He had been looking at him since he spoke to Shen Qiu. The flashlight in his hand was still on, and the light was facing him .

I haven't seen each other in four years, now face to face, An Yuan looks at the person who often appears in dreams, it feels different from text, photos, and listening to the voice on the phone.

Now they are only two steps apart, there is no time difference, there is no distinction between night and day, it is a distance where you can touch each other's chest and hear the sound of each other's breathing.

But in the end it's still different, four years, a long, long time.

Shen Xingchun spoke first: "I thought you wouldn't come back this year."

An Yuan just smiled, didn't speak, bent down and glanced at the ground and asked, "What kind of pen was lost? I'll help you find it."

Shen Qiu interjected from the side, "Brother Chun lost a black pen with words engraved on the case."

An Yuan knew almost immediately that the pen that Shen Xingchun was looking for was the one he gave him before. He had never seen Shen Xingchun use it before, so he thought Shen Xingchun didn't like it.

"Have you used it now?" An Yuan asked.

"It works, it's very useful." Shen Xingchun took the flashlight and turned around to go to the other side of the cabinet, took a photo in the gap, and sure enough, he saw the pen that fell inside, "I found it, it's inside."

Shen Xingchun squatted on the ground, holding the flashlight in one hand, stretched his arm into the crack and tried hard enough, but the pen fell too far, and he was still muttering in his heart, wondering how Shen Qiu dropped the pen in it.

An Yuan walked over, took the flashlight from Shen Xingchun's hand and held it up for him, stood beside him and bent over to look in, the pen was indeed dropped too far, he said: "Brother Chun, I'll tell you Move the cabinet, it's too far away, it's out of reach."

An Yuan bent down, and the collar of the windbreaker fell on Shen Xingchun's shoulders, which made the distance even closer.

Shen Xingchun smelled that the smell on An Yuan's body was different from before. An Yuan had always had the habit of rubbing body lotion before, but most of the ones she used were milk-scented. Now the smell carries the air-conditioning brought in from the outside, and the air-conditioning is the worst. The lower layer has a little milky fragrance, but it is very faint, so light that it can be easily ignored. If Shen Xingchun hadn't lived with An Yuan for so many years and was already familiar with that smell, otherwise he wouldn't be able to smell the milky fragrance. In addition to the milky aroma, there is more of a colder taste, like pine wood, or some kind of plant, and he can't tell what the specific smell is.

Seeing that Shen Xingchun was silent, An Yuan waved the flashlight in front of his eyes, "Brother Chun, what are you thinking?"

The beam of the flashlight was right in front of Shen Xingchun's eyes, and Shen Xingchun felt that his eyes suddenly became much brighter, looking at An Yuan's nose and ears were still red from freezing.

Shen Xingchun came back to his senses, stood up and clapped his hands and said, "I didn't think about anything, I have to move the cabinet."

When the pen was taken out, An Yuan opened the cap of the pen and took a look. From the tip of the pen, it could be seen that Shen Xingchun should use this pen often, and he capped the pen and returned it to Shen Xingchun.

Seeing that the pen was found, Shen Qiu clapped her little hands behind her, and An Yuan turned around to tease her.

An Yuan played with Shen Qiu for a few minutes. He took off his coat and put it on the chair next to him. He only wore a thin sweater underneath. He didn't see grandpa and grandma. He turned around and asked Shen Xingchun: "Grandpa and grandma?" Woolen cloth?"

"Going out, I'll be back later." Shen Xingchun glanced at the thin sweater on An Yuan's body, and then looked at the ground. The things on the ground were bought by An Yuan for his grandparents, and there were some gift boxes. His own bag was placed on the box. It was so small that it couldn't hold thick clothes like down jackets in it.

Shen Xingchun asked again: "Where's your clothes? You just came back in this light?"

An Yuan tugged at the collar of the sweater with his hands, and said nonchalantly: "I came back in a hurry. I took a taxi directly after getting off the plane. I didn't stop on the way, and I didn't have time to buy thick clothes."

Shen Xingchun turned around and found his own thick down jacket from the cabinet and threw it on the kang, "You can wear mine when you go out. Your windbreaker is fine to wear indoors, but it will freeze to death when you go out."