The past ignites old dreams

Shandong, which is near the sea, has already shown signs of warm spring.

One spring snow and one sunny day, the yellow plum blossoms in Qinghe Mansion are in full bloom, and the heart-warming fragrance permeates the air, which is warm, refreshing and pleasant.

But some people just can't be happy.

Since the two big family members left, Qinghe Mansion has become much deserted.After the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, Cui Mo hurried back to Beijing to control the situation.Only Cui Xuan, the youngest son of the Cui family, was left to preside over the affairs.

Qiao Ran wanted to see Cui Xuan several times but couldn't see him, and today he was rejected again, so angry that he jumped.

I heard that Cui Xuan was going to go on a long trip later, and he didn't know where to check the accounts. Qiao Ran ran to the racecourse early, pulled a maroon BMW from the Western Regions, and rode to the gate of the mansion, kowtow melon seeds and waited. .

Not long after, a lot of people came out.

Cui Xuan was walking in the middle, and when he heard the guard's report, he glanced at Qiao Ran and said calmly, "Let him go."

The horse team was ready to go, and Qiao Ran followed without hesitation.

After a while, Xiaohu chased after him, "My ancestor, please calm down for a while, Miss Lu—oh no, the second lady specially sent me to tell you to go back."

"Xiaohu, you came just in time, give me the money! Hurry up, I forgot to bring money when I came out."

Little Tiger: "..."

"Hurry up!" Qiao Ran held the horse's belly, pulled the reins, and turned around to snatch the money bag from Xiaohu's waist.

Xiaohu had no choice but to take down the money bag and give it to Qiao Ran, "There are only some coins, which are all my own money. You must remember to return it to me, my lord."

"Okay, okay, you can ask Cui Yan directly." Qiao Ran sent Xiaohu away, and rode to the front again.

Xiaohu sighed, Qiao Ran didn't go back, how dare he go back by himself, so he had to follow Qiao Ran closely.

Soon out of the city gate.

Just as Qiao Ran finished cracking the melon seeds, the team slowed down and stopped at the side of the official road after a while.

Cui Xuan got out of the carriage, and he called An Yu close to him, "Cui Can, go and call him over."

"Third Young Master, aren't you—"

Cui Xuan put his hands in his sleeves, looking extremely helpless, if there was anyone he didn't want to meet in this world, it would be Qiao Ran.

It was not the first time Qiao Ran saw Cui Xuan, he was not surprised to see Cui Xuan's face at all, "Boy, you are finally going to see me."

"Do you think it's meaningful for us to meet?" Cui Xuan retreated from the crowd, leaving only him and Qiao Ran in an open space, "Second brother told me before leaving that you are not allowed to step out of Qinghe. I don't want him to worry about you. "

Qiao Ran didn't know what to say, she stared at Cui Xuan's handsome face with baby fat, and said inexplicably, "Was Cui Yan also so fleshy and cute when he was a child?"

"I don't know. He's my age. How old am I?"

Speaking of age, Qiao Ran was alerted, he snorted, "How old are you?! When I knew you, you were already this old."

"When I first came here, I couldn't adapt in every possible way. I felt hopeless for the rest of my life." Cui Xuan sighed, "But everyone in this family treats me very well. I can't choose my birth or rebirth, but I am happy. I can choose whether to live each day happily or sadly."

"Then why don't you want to see me?"

"I know what you want to ask me, but I can't answer it." Cui Xuan said.

"I just need you to tell me if you have the answer." Qiao Ran looked serious and cautious.He took out the red ribbon he was carrying, "Look, it came back to me. Do you remember? When I was young, my dad ran to Tai'an to collect calligraphy and paintings, and took me to Mount Tai to play, just in front of Bixia Temple. I wrote this sentence crookedly, and Qiao Xiaoran came here for a visit. You are standing behind me, and you think my handwriting is ugly! Have you forgotten? At that time, you were as old as you are now, wearing an ancient costume, and I I thought you were a Taoist priest in the Bixia Temple! You guys already knew everything, but you just hid yourself as if nothing happened."

Cui Xuan shook his head, "I know a little about the destiny, and I also know that the secrets of the heavens should not be leaked, not to mention that I clearly reminded you at that time not to hang the red ribbon on it. It is a thousand-year-old wishing tree. You threw it right away, so what can I do? Fate is something that you and I can’t control. You are looking for a way back, and I only ask you. If there is a way back, you really can give up the person in your heart. ?”

Qiao Ran felt as if he had been hit in the head, and after being dazed for a while, his eyes became clear, "There is more than one person in my heart. You are content with the status quo because the Cui family treats you very well, so why didn't my parents treat me very well? I am missing It's been so long, they are only afraid that I will die, and there will be no bones left when I die, how sad it must be, as soon as I think of it..."

Qiao Ran swallowed tears, and was speechless for a while. He suppressed his emotions and spoke slowly, "I feel uncomfortable."

Seeing this scene, Cui Xuan sighed again, Yang Jingli's youth and maturity are due to the city mansion, Cui Xuan's maturity is due to his experience, he has seen a lot, and he has seen too many joys and sorrows.

"If you make up your mind, you will not change from the beginning." Cui Xuan paused, and said after a while, "Then you go and try it, just like hanging this belt back then, maybe your fate will turn around, maybe... maybe It's just another empty hope."

"But—" Cui Xuan changed his tone, frowning deeply, "Have you ever thought that even if there is such a road, you can't go back."

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

"Haven't you ever thought that in another world, you would have died a long time ago. Died in a plane crash."

In the last four words, Cui Xuan was almost decisive.

Qiao Ran's heart shook, and her eardrums swelled and buzzed, "Impossible, absolutely impossible."

"There is no absolute thing in the world. Isn't meeting you and me here the most powerful proof?"

"Can you explain it to me?"

"No." Cui Xuan turned around and wanted to get into the carriage.

Qiao Ran grabbed Cui Xuan, "Cui Xuan! You can't just leave like this!"

Cui Xuan pulled out his sleeves vigorously, took a few steps back, and quickly called his dark feather Cui Can, "Escort Mr. Qiao back to the city."

"I'm not going back!" Qiao Ran ran back and found his horse, "You're all talking about your gods, your fucking heads are flooding, and I just don't believe it. What kind of shit is not fate, what the hell!"

The little tiger wanted to pull the reins, but unfortunately he was not as tall as the horse's back. He jumped and said, "My lord, I beg you, let's go back!"

Qiao Ran lowered the whip that had already been raised, Cui Yan didn't want to go out of Qinghe by himself, it was just because he was afraid that something unexpected would happen to him.At this time, his life and death are uncertain, so will he still be his worry?

Seeing Qiao Ran's hesitation, Xiaohu heaved a sigh of relief, and tried to persuade him with good words, just repeating and repeating the words that Cui Yan had confessed before leaving.

Go back, or go back.The two roads turned out to be "going back".Qiao Ran looked towards Qinghe City, which was Cui Yan's home, and he looked in the opposite direction, heading all the way, it was Tai'an, on Mount Tai, there might be the last hope.

I have been here for so long, and I am not in a hurry to leave.

Qiao Ran sighed, feeling very uncomfortable in every possible way, indescribably sad, and a little angry.

Qiao Ran sat on the horse, hanging his head as if giving up everything else, Xiaohu finally got the reins, and pulled the tall horse towards Qinghe City.Qiao Ran looked at Xiaohu's appearance, then looked at himself, and suddenly smiled, isn't this the same as Zhu Bajie holding Tang Seng?Ha ha ha ha!

When Xiaohu heard that Qiao Ran was laughing and laughing, his feet were a little weak in fright. He didn't know Qiao Ran's "joy in bitterness". He was only worried that this ancestor would not "relapse". Don't poke him. This basket!

Cui Xuan and Qiao Ran were going in different directions. They were in a carriage and a horse respectively. When they met, Cui Xuan suddenly raised the dark green bird feather curtain and called Qiao Ran to stop.

"Third Young Master, what advice do you have?" Qiao Ran was upset when he saw that round face. He always pretended to be mysterious and nonsense about things that were obviously simple.

"Have you seen Xiao Hong?"

"What the hell?" It's not that Qiao Ran doesn't know Xiao Hong, whether it's related film and television works or literary works, he knows something about it, but Cui Xuan suddenly mentioned why this female writer is doing it. .

"I'm afraid we won't meet again from now on. I want to give you some good words from the book—" Cui Xuan looked at Qiao Ran with an indescribable gaze. How can I say that feeling? Anyway, in Qiao Ran's opinion, Just like the wind is blowing and the water is cold, it is ominous that the strong man will never return.

Cui Xuan went on to say that he had been deliberating over and over in his heart for a long time——

"I just want to live vigorously at this moment. It doesn't matter where I go or who I meet. The places I will go to are the hometowns I have never met; the people I will meet will become my friends. I can't Choose how to live and how to die, but I can choose how to love and how to live."

After these words, Cui Xuan really left.

The green hills are floating with clouds, the Liaohe River surrounds the city, and the horses are screaming and the birds are all gone.It seems that once this place is parted, it will become a lonely canopy that cannot be returned for thousands of miles, and the feeling of sadness arises spontaneously.

Qiao Ran was silent again.

The mountain haze exudes the moist atmosphere of the forest.The spring breeze in early February brings natural fresh air, but it still makes people chill.

Qiao Ran wore a white fox fur wind collar, shivering and shrinking her neck in the wind.The cold feeling penetrated from the back of the neck, along the spine, arousing goose bumps on the back.

"Little Tiger, get on your own horse, let's go back quickly." Qiao Ran grabbed the whip tightly.

Although Cui Xuan didn't give him a direct answer, Qiao Ran already knew several possibilities.

Staying, leaving, are all "going back".

Cui Xuan asked if his determination had never changed, but Qiao Ran avoided answering.Even he dared not ask himself this question.

The last night before Cui Yan left was spent with Qiao Ran. Before that, whenever he woke up, Cui Yan was never by his side. The other half of the bed was always empty, and the pillows were always cold. What Qiao Ran didn't expect was that on the sixteenth day of the first lunar month, the day Cui Yan left, he woke up and Cui Yan was still by his side. , "It's weird, what time is it and you're still here with me?!"

Cui Yan took his hand away, and smiled warmly for the first time, "I have never slept with you until dawn, and I am afraid that there will be no chance to replenish you in the future."

"What nonsense!" Qiao Ran was furious at the time, "I don't need your compensation, just tell me how you got out!"

Qiao Ran picked up Cui Yan and kicked it a few times to relieve her anger, "Get lost!"

Cui Yan grabbed Qiao Ran's ankle and covered his legs with a quilt, "Did you eat the guts of the ambitious leopard?"

"How?" Although Qiao Ran said so, she didn't move her hands and feet, and only urged Cui Yan to leave quickly.

Cui Yan asked him, "Aren't you going to send me off?"

"No." Qiao Ran turned his gaze away, staring at any item in the room, just ignoring Cui Yan, "You go, I won't send you off. If you come back, I will come even if there is a knife in the world." pick you up."

"Okay." Cui Yan nodded solemnly.

One of them "kills all crows in the three thousand worlds", and the other "has hated the king like Jiang Louyue".

Before leaving, they talked a lot without saying a word.

Qiao Ran thought about all the endings, but none of them were happy and satisfying.

He wants to keep Cui Yan, but he won't let himself really keep him, he wants to send him out of the city, but he won't let himself really send him off either.

There was a tight string in his heart, and he dared not relax.Once he relaxes, if he can go back to the "future", is he still determined to go back?

Cui Xuan refused to tell Qiao Ran some answers.And there were some answers that Qiao Ran didn't even dare to answer.

once having seen the best, the rest is not worthwhile looking.

In China in 2014, the sea is full of vicissitudes and the moon is a thousand years old, but there is no you, Cui Yan.

The author has something to say: 1. The wind is rustling and the water is cold: from "Historical Records: Biography of Assassins"

2. Crows Killed in Three Thousand Worlds: From the works of Shinsaku Takasugi.Shinsaku Takasugi was a famous politician and military strategist in the late Tokugawa period of Japan (the end of the Tokugawa shogunate in Japanese history).Kill all the crows in the three thousand worlds, and sleep with you until dawn" is a poem written by Takasugi Shinsaku to Katsura Kogoro, one of the three heroes of the Restoration. There are many interpretations of this sentence, whether it is the meaning or the corresponding Waka.

3. Hate the Lord is not like the Moon on the River: From Song Dynasty poet Lu Benzhong's "Picking Mulberry·Hate the Lord is not like the Moon on the River", the original text is "Hate the Lord is not like the Moon on the River, north and south, north and south, east and west, only with each other Parting. Hating the emperor is like the moon in a river, temporarily full but still bad, temporarily full but also bad, how long will we be reunited?"

4. Once the sea was too difficult to turn into water: "Five Poems of Lisi·Part [-]" by Tang Yuanzhen.