[Cehua] The wind and rain are like dark

"The famine is still there, and the epidemic is coming again. The baby is so vulnerable that it seems that there is no hope. You have said that this body is a natural strategy, and you should use a spear in your hand to guard your home, country and society. Please take care of yourself and spread the news as soon as possible."

He Xiaoxiao put down his pen and leaned back.The light couldn't reach there, his face was hidden in the shadow, and his expression couldn't be seen clearly.The ink on the letterhead in front of him was still wet, and a piece of it was spilled drippingly.He pressed the paper with one hand, but his fingers slowly grabbed the paper that had just been filled with words, and the paper made the sound of tearing and shrinking in his hands.After a while, his fingers loosened, and the ball of paper fell down.After an unknown amount of time, he stretched out his hands again, unfolded the letter paper, and smoothed it carefully.

The plague spread faster than anyone expected.It turned out that only the battalion in the west discovered the plague, Zhou Shousong reacted quickly, and immediately separated everyone in the surrounding area.But this year's epidemic seems to be particularly serious. There is a lack of medicinal materials in the camp, and the military doctors are helpless.Although the patients have been separated, within a day, people from other places came to report, and each found a patient with the epidemic.In just two days, the epidemic has spread to many soldiers.Originally, there was no sound in the camp, but now it was terribly quiet. Those who had the disease were guarded, and those who did not get sick were partly because they were afraid of getting the disease, and the other part were because they really had no energy to move around. It was silent, as if dead.

Food has been completely cut off long ago, and even birds, gophers, grass roots and bark are no longer easy to get.Summer is obviously a lush season, but at this time the whole city is as desolate and chilling as if it is winter.Zhou Shousong once assured He Xiaoxiao that as long as there was food in the camp, he would not starve to death.But the current situation makes this promise difficult to fulfill.Since at the other end of the government office, a female family member committed suicide to feed the army, the practice of killing people to feed their families has been creeping up like a terrifying cold wind and rain, and everyone knows what kind of activities are going on in private in some places.Rumors are disturbing, but they are always hiding in the dark.He Xiaoxiao didn't dare to think about it, let alone explore it—at least he didn't see it with his own eyes.

He couldn't quite figure out what was the point of their persistence here.He knows all the truths, but under such circumstances, it seems that all the truths are illusory. In the face of hunger, disease, and death that is watching people all the time, no one can answer this question.The war horses in the camp were slaughtered as early as a few days after Li Jin and others left the city.These soldiers of Tiance Mansion had accompanied horses since they joined the army when they were young, and some of these war horses had made great military exploits like experienced generals, killing horses for food, which all Tiance soldiers could not bear to witness.But in the current situation, even human life cannot be saved, let alone war horses?The library in the government office has long since been wiped out due to hunger.All the official newspapers, documents and field books of household editions were eaten up.No one has thought about how they can survive when they don't even have tea paper to eat.

The Spike Army camp in the distance was silent, silently watching the fire from the other side of the dead city.He Xiaoxiao turned his face away, staring at the paintings spread out on the table.He didn't draw anything in the past few days, although there was still a voice in his heart telling him that the tragedy of this battle was enough to silence the annals of history, and he had a wonderful pen in his hand, so he should write everything down.But hunger and fear made him pick up the pen and put it down several times.He could feel the turmoil in the dead silence of the camp, fights and scolding were rare, but he no longer dared to openly spread the picture scroll on the table when someone came.Those hungry eyes, with a prying light, look for everything that might get in their belly.His paintings are nothing more than others. Although this one is not finished, he cherishes it very much and is afraid of being destroyed.

He has missed Li Jin and his younger brothers and sisters so many times that he seems to have lost the meaning of missing them any longer—he can't do anything, nothing.He Xiaoxiao turned his head and closed his eyes feebly.The plague is terrible, but no matter how terrible the plague is, it can't beat hunger.Stretching out his trembling hands, he carefully rolled up the long scroll and put it in a place out of sight on one side, and then he calmed down as if he was relieved.There are sporadic birds and gophers, and sometimes they are lucky and can get a few mouthfuls of food to satisfy their hunger, but most of the time, the feeling of hunger is like a fireball burning in the stomach.He didn't know how many moments that seemed like morning and night, he was drowsy because of hunger, but after lying down, he also tossed and turned because of hunger.This feeling is like a thread that is always hanging on the thoughts. Once it is relaxed, the thread will be deeply strangled, causing the wound to bleed gurglingly.This feeling made him desperate like never before—before Li Jin left the city, he knew what would happen in his heart, but he never expected that the hunger he had never experienced was so difficult.How many times in the unbearable hunger he stretched out his hand to unfold the scroll, intending to divert his mind, and how many times he put the scroll back into the invisible place.He didn't know how long he could hold on, the words he had made with Li Jin were as vague and distant as a dream many years ago.

He slowly took out a small stack of letter paper, which was the last few papers left.The door was bolted from the inside, so no one would come.The ink is almost exhausted, and even water seems not so easy to get.With his fingertips pacing back and forth on the edge of the paper, he picked up the pen and threw it out with a flick of his hand.Trembling fingers suddenly grabbed a piece of letter paper tightly, the paper made a tearing sound and was torn to pieces, He Xiaoxiao stuffed the crumpled paper into his mouth like crazy.He could no longer taste the bitter taste, the ball of paper blocked his throat dryly, but he swallowed it desperately.He felt a sharp pain across his throat and chest, causing him to lie on the table and cough again and again. Tears involuntarily choked out from the corners of his eyes, and then flowed uncontrollably.He heard some choking sounds, so far away, but it was obviously from himself.Trembling fingers reached for another pen, and dipped it in the dried ink a few times.

"Hunger for a long time, a piece of paper is also precious. The archives of the government library, except for the map, all household editions, official newspapers, and old books, are divided into tigers and wolves, which is like a drop in the bucket. In the past, I learned from In the Valley of Thousand Flowers, there is a taste of Wen Wen to convey the Tao, which made it known to the world and exposed it to the history. Xiao Ben also pretended to use the painting to imitate it, but he almost wanted to write, but the hand scroll was not unfolded, and he was already on fire. Woohoo! The city guards are lonely, the souls are withered, the danger is like the morning dew, if the king has to rush to help, don't delay, come back quickly! Come back quickly!"

He felt that his eyelids were heavy, and despite the feeling of hunger, it was still like a knife blade scraping his empty chest, but he was still so tired that he fell asleep, half dreaming and half awake, he seemed to hear a voice calling himself, or Li Jin’s name.

Li Jin sat down silently, at this moment, he could only be silent.Pei Zhilin didn't say a word, he thought about the few days that Li Jin had to live like years, but he still didn't intend to borrow troops.Li Jin saw Pei Zhilin sitting at the head, raising his hand to make a gesture of twirling his beard from time to time, but he felt that he couldn't bear it anymore, and he almost wanted to punch that sanctimonious face.He tried his best to hold back, Pei Zhilin seemed to be considering how to speak, and finally said: "Li Xiaowei..."

"If Mr. Pei is willing to send troops to help, General Zhou will definitely—"

"Captain Li, are you willing to stay here and be my right and left hand?"

"What?" Li Jin didn't hear clearly for a while, and repeated again in disbelief, "...what?"

"Would you like to stay here and be my right and left hand?" Pei Zhilin looked up at him, "Captain Li—Master Li."

Li Jin stared at him in a daze, but forgot to attack.Seeing the shocked look on his face, Pei Zhilin sighed again: "...Mr. Li. You are even more aware of the current situation than I am. The Spike Army is coming fiercely, and the court is moving west. You only see my soldiers here There are many generals, the city is high and the pool is deep, but I don’t know that if the rebel army arrives in the future, I will still be a lonely city here, with no help in all directions. I’m afraid I’m in danger.” He said, shaking his head again and again in Li Jin’s knife-like gaze, but his eyes were looking left and right, not looking at Li Jin himself, “Besides, even if I send reinforcements, it may not be in time... at the moment What happened here, you and I don't know. Captain Li—Mr. Li, I heard your name when I was in Chang'an, and now I see you, you are a brave man, and you act prudently. Instead of going back to Why don't you stay here in the city that is still in peril, and join me in rejecting the rebels. In the future, the mountains and rivers will be restored, and you can also show your merits to the court... At that time, your lord... Li's mansion suffered a catastrophe, and only Mr. Li Fuzuo continued , is still safe and sound, and your father is under the Nine Springs, and he certainly doesn't want to—"

Pei Zhilin didn't continue, because Li Jin had already stood up.He glanced at Pei Zhilin, then lowered his head and cupped his fists.

"Master Pei means that he doesn't want to send troops to rescue him."

Pei Zhilin was silent for a moment and said: "This matter is decided by many lieutenants and officials after discussion, and it is not up to me alone."

Li Jin nodded and took a step back.Pei Zhilin didn't notice that the hand he was holding on the waist knife was trembling slightly due to excessive force.Even if reinforcements are sent at this time, it may not be in time. He has the face to say such a thing, but he still has the face to say such a thing?If it weren't for these people's indecision that covered up their fear and indecision with day-to-day discussions, how could it be too late?Don't talk about whether the city can be defended right now, even if it has not been breached, I am afraid that the city will fall into a nose early.He didn't know if Zhou Shousong was still alive, and he didn't know if He Xiaoxiao was still alive.Waves of pain and anger surged up, making him tremble all over.Pei Zhilin kept calling him Mr. Li, talking about old things.It was like this at the beginning, in Chang'an, in the government and the opposition, my father participated in the three towns' festivals, and An Lushan formed a party for personal gain, stationed troops and stockpiled food, fearing that he would be disobedient and would be framed instead. to cover up his crimes.Pei Zhilin was also in the government and the opposition back then, he, and all the others were flattering and ingratiating, no one was willing to speak up for Li Cheng.But at first he could see clearly, the so-called people in the government and the opposition only want to protect themselves, who cares about the life and death of others?It's just that he never expected that until now, the old wounds would be uncovered by Pei Zhilin like a scar, turned over and showed him the rotten wounds, and persuaded him to abandon the city.That's it, after so many years, these people and these things have never changed in the slightest.The imperial court favored Anlu Mountain at the beginning, which caused great disaster today; today the city is isolated and helpless, but the capable people only want to cut off their tails to survive.They had that attitude when they faced An Lushan, which had not yet rebelled; now, they still have the same attitude when facing the iron heels of the rebels. They only care about themselves, but they refuse to extend a helping hand to others.

He came to beg Pei Zhilin not to make trouble for no reason, to force him to ask, but because Pei Zhilin was clearly capable of protecting himself with his help. "Thank you Mr. Pei for your kindness," he heard his own voice, cold, desperate, but very steady, "Since Mr. Pei is unwilling to help, Li Jin has no choice but to leave."

He said and stepped back.Pei Zhilin seemed a little anxious or hesitant to speak, so he stood up and sent him outside.There were quite a few guards outside, as well as some officials, who seemed to be waiting to discuss matters with Pei Zhilin. Seeing them come out, all curious eyes immediately fell on them.Li Jin looked around for a while, and suddenly saw the group of brothers who followed him, standing not far away, looking at this side expectantly.

A sudden, unspeakable pain seized him.Li Jin blinked and looked up at the sky.It was already dark, but the outlines of the dark clouds in the sky could still be seen.The hot air blew quietly across his cheeks.

"Lieutenant Li, don't rush to leave, you might as well think about what you just said, if you change your mind..."

Li Jin shook his head and said: "Master Pei, I appreciate your kindness. There is no need to mention those old things. It is only my father's fault that he saw too much and too early. Ying! Li Jin originally thought that in this calamity, people's hearts would be turbulent, but he didn't expect that after so many years, people's hearts have not changed at all, and they are still as cold and thin as paper. Although my father died full of grievances, if he knew that there would be no change today. , probably rather that I was chasing rumors and speculating wildly, even if the Li family will never be rehabilitated!" He sneered for a while, then turned his head to stare at Pei Zhilin, "I still remember when I was a child, I read three hundred poems: 'The flower of sweet potato, Ye Qingqing, knowing that I have this, it is better to have no life'! Although Li Jin can't see the current situation in the city, I'm afraid it's just like this. Mr. Pei has a long-term vision and thinks a way out for Li Jin. Li Jin understands and is grateful It’s just that when Li Jin first entered the Tiance Mansion, he knew that he would benefit the country, and he didn’t want to be rich. My lord, don't blame Li Jin for disappointing your good intentions. My father once said to me, "Wen dies in remonstrance, and Wu dies in battle". My father has already died in direct remonstrance, so why not die in battle. It is also the saying, "Know that I have this , it is better to have no life'! The rebel army is now, the mountains and rivers are dying, if I drag myself out to survive, it is better to die!"

His words were full of sarcasm, with a gun and a club in his arms, but they were upright and loud, and Pei Zhilin was stunned by what he said.After Li Jin finished speaking, he clasped his fists to Pei Zhilin as a salute, then smiled slightly, and said: "Li Jin has been in the barracks for a long time, so it is inevitable that his words will be unpleasant. Mr. Pei is generous, don't argue with Li Jin."

Before Pei Zhilin could speak, Li Jin had already turned around and walked towards the gate of the camp.Dozens of Tiance soldiers who followed him also stepped forward immediately.It was already dark, and a torch was lit at the gate of the camp. The pungent smell of the burning fat drifted around with the hot wind, and the pulsating flames illuminated the profile of Li Jin's face carved like a knife.Li Jin walked forward with big strides, while reaching his back to take off the bow and arrow behind his back, his pace was still fast, fingering the tail feathers of the feather arrow, and loudly said: "Brother who followed me out of the encirclement, If anyone is willing to stay and serve in this city, he can stay! Those who are willing to follow, come back to the city with me!"

"Captain! What nonsense are you talking about?!"

"I was born as a strategist, why should I be afraid of death?!"

"Willing to follow to the death, never stealing life!"

These Tiance soldiers protested loudly with angry expressions, as if they felt that Li Jin's proposal was an insult to them.Li Jin nodded, let them follow behind him, and walked outside the camp gate.The people around whispered and stared at this group of strategists.When Li Jin walked to the gate of the camp, he suddenly stopped and turned around.The bow and arrow that he picked off while walking before had been stretched like a full moon in his hands at some point.Pei Zhilin in the distance didn't have time to react, he just felt a gust of wind passing over his head, and then there was a sound of an arrow piercing the wood, the crown of Pei Zhilin's head fell in response, and his hair fell down instantly.Everyone exclaimed and sighed, but they were all shocked and no one dared to move.

Li Jin lowered his hands to put away his bow and arrow, and sneered.

"If the lonely city can be defended in the future, Pei Zhilin, I swear to kill you."