Please don't be so hard on me!

"Sir..." Aunt Qian looked at Luo Minghan tremblingly, "This painting...do you want to get rid of it?"

Luo Minghan didn't seem to hear her words. His warm fingers rubbed the painting bit by bit. The paint was already dry, and the last layer of color was needed, but he lost Miao Cun, so it could only be a semi-finished product after all. .

He knew that this was the scene when he went to pick up Miao Cun at school during the first snowfall in the painting.Probably thinking that painting a car would destroy the beauty, Miao Cun only painted him alone, with strong colors but cold and lonely.

Luo Minghan stared at it for a long time, the white cloth in his hand shook off, and he gently covered the painting again.

When Xi Xiaohan left, he left his last words: "You'd better love him so much that life would be worse than death."

He was proud to the bottom of his bones, even though he knew that his love for many years was nothing but a piece of chicken feathers, he still left gracefully with his back straightened, and in the end he had to mock Luo Minghan like this, as if it was some kind of curse.

Luo Minghan sat down on the sofa and lit a cigarette slowly.The smoke blurred his face, and Aunt Qian only heard him order: "Clean up the rubbish left by Xi Xiaohan."

Aunt Qian lowered her eyebrows and said, "Yes."

"Do you want to work at Xi's house more?" Luo Minghan seemed to be thinking about it.

"No, no! No, there is absolutely no such thing!" Aunt Qian was so frightened that her legs limp, and her voice sounded like she was in a panic.

Mr. Luo is a good customer, he gives generously, and is quick to take leave. There are always generous red envelopes during New Years and holidays. Aunt Qian’s daughter-in-law has just had a reincarnation. The [-] a month confinement center can't afford to live in it, and imported milk powder can't afford it.

"I, I was just confused for a while, thinking about Han—Mr. Xi has been with you for so many years, and he always asks me about your recent situation..."

Luo Minghan lowered his eyes and dusted off his cigarette, and said indifferently, "Take good care of Miaomiao from now on."

"That's for sure!" Aunt Qian replied firmly, but hesitated in the next second.

Luo Minghan showed a rare expression that could barely be called a "smile" this night, "Do you want to ask if Miaomiao and I are over, and how can you take care of me?"

"No, no, no," Aunt Qian didn't dare to vent her anger, she only dared to stare at the toe of her shoes, "It's normal to fall in love with each other! Mr. Miao Miao will be back soon!"

These words pleased her employer very much. The employer propped his chin and smiled slightly: "You are right, he will indeed be back soon."

He spoke very firmly, but his tone was empty, like a hypochondriac.

Aunt Qian's heart couldn't stand his creepy behavior, and she had a terrible nightmare at night.

Little did she know, her employer wasn't sleeping well either.

Mentally powerful like Luo Minghan, he had a weird dream at night.

Dreamed that Miao Cun asked him, "Didn't you have a relationship with Luo Luo long ago? Could it be that if I asked you, would you tell the truth? Since you can't tell the truth, why should I ask? "

I dreamed that he was choking his neck, scolding him for shamelessly stripping off his clothes and running to be a slut in front of others. The next second, Miao Cun's tears rolled down his eyes, and he looked at him calmly with tears, saying , "Brother Luo, you are so boring."

Luo Minghan couldn't bear the tears, and woke up from the dream with a suffocation.The feeling of heart palpitations was so vivid, he clutched his heart, his eyes were out of focus for a few seconds, he only felt the pain in his heart.This time the pain was not for himself, but for Miao Cun's tears.

He paints for him, and he replies with a slut and endless doubts.

·

Because the remittance of 20 yuan has not been received for a long time, even during the final exam, Miao Cun took time to go home.

He had just finished a test, and then took the bus across three urban districts to go home, and it was already dinner time.

This year's New Year's Eve is late, and it's only in late February. After the high school exams, the sophomores and seniors were dragged back to make up for a week of classes. Miao Cong complained at the dinner table that there was something wrong with the school's academic affairs office. Unexpectedly, he saw Miao Cun appeared, with a habitual yin and yang aura on his face.

Li Liping knew the purpose of his visit, and when she saw him, she was like a mouse seeing a cat, and took the bowls and chopsticks awkwardly: "Why did Cuncun come back? Have you finished the exam?"

Miao Cun pulled out his chair and sat down, "Not yet, Miao Cong has finished the exam." He cared for Miao Cong kindly, "Did you do well in the exam? How many subjects did you pass? It won't be like last semester, only Chinese is passed. ?”

Miao Cong just felt ashamed, and Li Liping was simply hurt by being poked, and gritted her teeth to celebrate the funeral, "I passed three exams, we are Cong Cong..."

Miao Cun put the tip of his chopsticks on his palm, took her words, and said leisurely, "It's smart."

Miao Cong: "..."

His half-brother was getting harder and harder to bully.

When I came back from Banna as a child, the intervention and treatment for autism had just achieved results. Visiting relatives during the Chinese New Year and watching Miao Cun's shyness under the eyes of all kinds became Miao Cong's most enjoyable repertoire.He has never been with Miao Cun in school, but the surname Miao is rare, and they are all drawn from one area. There are always children who say that the little monster is his brother. In order to resolutely draw the line, Miao Cong takes the lead in finding He was either tearing up his homework or putting paint on his school uniform, and let him be criticized by the notice.

It’s not like he never played with fire. That year when Miao Cun was nine years old, Miao Cong pushed him into the school’s ornamental pond. He was malnourished and developed late, and his fart was bigger and he was drowned directly on the top of his head. Later, a high school student jumped Go down and save him.

After that time, Miao Cun suddenly changed his personality and almost made Miao Cong a fool. Li Liping cried and threatened to send him to the juvenile detention center.The doctor is not surprised, the child fights, don't be on the top line, not to mention he has autism, autism is easy to be like this, it is not serious or emotional, don't worry about it.

Li Liping gritted her teeth, and when she led Miao Cong back, who had a bandaged forehead, she saw Miao Cun sitting on the bench at the entrance of the alley with his head in his hands, staring at them expressionlessly.

That was the first time she realized the exact meaning of the line "social communication disorder, emotional expression disorder, emotional communication disorder" in the case book.This is a monster that does not seek comfort when hurt, but does not blink when it hurts others.She suddenly realized with fear that even if Miao Cunzhen beat Miao Cong to death today, there would be no emotion in his eyes.

Since then, her and Miao Cong's policy towards Miao Cun has changed from abuse to indifference and avoidance, and all dislike and bullying have changed to silent stabbing through cotton.

In fact, Li Liping privately thinks that Miao Cunming is quite good.

Not all children with autism will be geniuses, but Miao Cun happens to be one.However, as he grew older, the spiritual heritage left to him by his biological mother in just a few years burst out with unprecedented strength, and Miao Cun became more and more normal, except that he was still emotionally indifferent, Apart from his lack of empathy, he looked like a normal person.

Miao Cun has never been used to Li Liping's taste, so he stopped moving his chopsticks after a few mouthfuls, and went straight to the point: "The 20 can be returned to me now."

What should come is still coming.Li Liping's heart skipped a beat, she exchanged glances with Miao Jiancheng, and smiled without embarrassment: "The bank hasn't lifted the freeze yet."

"impossible."

Miao Cong joined in the fun and asked, "Mom, what is 20?"

Before the exam, the school was closed and managed, and they were not allowed to go home on weekends. Miao Cong didn't even know that Miao Cun had already gone to France.Listening to Li Liping's simple words at this moment, the expression on her face was distorted with envy.

In the blink of an eye, he understood one thing.Why is his brother getting harder to bully?Because he is getting richer and richer.Since he entered the Academy of Fine Arts, he had an income and money, and every time he came home, he became more and more confident and straight.On the other hand, Li Liping and Miao Jiancheng, the dying fruit shop's revenue is bleak, and they are getting older, and they are beginning to shrink back, and even feel afraid of Miao Cun.

It turned out that it was money that made his brother not easy to bully.

"Why is it impossible? That's how the bank stipulates. What can I do?" Li Liping picked and picked from the plate, shaking her chopsticks twice. "You mean to let auntie rob the bank?"

Miao Cun ignored him, and the bank's customer service call was played on his mobile phone. He answered the customer manager, the card number and the name of the head of the account, and asked why the money hadn't been unfrozen.

Miao Jiancheng's eyes were about to pop out. He didn't know how Miao Cun could remember his card number and ID number clearly.

"Mr. Miao, your money was unfrozen on February 32th, and the system shows that you transferred it at [-]:[-] p.m. that day. Did you do it yourself?"

Miao Cun hung up the phone directly, Li Liping looked ugly, and kicked Miao Jiancheng under the table.

Miao Jiancheng snorted while drinking beer and eating meat, and said impatiently, "I've saved money! I'll give it to you when it's due next month!"

"Show me the buying record."

Crack, Miao Jiancheng patted down the chopsticks and glared: "When is it your turn to take care of your father's money?"

"It's my mother's money," Miao Cun remained unmoved, "If you feel at ease, you can keep it."

The living are afraid of the dead, especially the dead who owe a lot.

Miao Jiancheng and Yan'er were in love, but with Miao's diagnosis of autism when he was two years old, and the sky-high price of intervention therapy courses, the marriage that was already in danger broke down, and Miao Jian was obsessed with pink shampoo Li Liping, who was in the room, came and went again and again, and he directly fell in love with this "hair-washing" girl.

Yan'er had no money, and after struggling for a year and a half, she brought Miao Cun back to the countryside of Xishuangbanna. Relying on the tenacity and love of a mother, she learned and intervened for Miao Cun with infinite patience.She took Miao Cun to see the mountains and waters, the butterflies flying around the peacocks, and the elephants walking step by step on the field ridges. The words she often said were: "Cun Cun, can you see your mother?"

When I couldn't hold on and sometimes collapsed, I cried loudly at Miao Cun who was playing with butterflies by himself: "You can't see your mother at all? Is it true that you won't shed a tear even when your mother dies? "She hit Miao Cun, making her slap red, but Miao Cun couldn't cry, he only felt pain, but he didn't know how to say "pain".

When Miao Cun ignorantly put his little hand on her cheek for the first time, the woman from Xishuangbanna hugged his knee tightly and sat down on the ground crying.

Four years later, Yan'er passed away, leaving only eighty red ropes and a song without a name.The machismo and clanism in Miao Jiancheng's bones, as well as Yan'er's plea to him before his death, made him take Miao Cun back to his side again.

When she saw her last time, her cheeks were sunken and her face was haggard. She said, I don’t want to be reincarnated, I’m just a ghost. If you dare to give Miao Cun away and make him lack food and clothing, I will stand by your bedside and watch you every day.

So Miao Jiancheng was afraid of her, to the point of death.

"What do you charge? Who cares if you broke 20?" Miao Jiancheng was guilty but domineering, and took a picture of his phone to Miao Cun, "Look for yourself!"

Miao Cun pushed back: "Unlock."

Miao Jiancheng just wanted to enter the gesture password on the bank app interface, but when he thought that Miao Cun even remembered his ID number so well, he felt horrified, and turned his back covertly before entering it.Miao Cun glanced at Miao Cong, smiled and said nothing.

Indeed, the purchase record was found on the financial management interface.

"One month's interest is cheaper." Miao Cun nodded, "Yes."

"Don't charge me a lot of money here," Miao Jiancheng took back his phone, "Did your aunt and I ask you for money for helping you go abroad? You feel at ease and don't even say thank you."

Miao Cun's smile didn't reach his eyes: "What are you talking about, Dad, Auntie, we are all one family."

After agreeing to pay back the money next month, Miao Cun left.Miao Cong procrastinated with a bowl of rice, and when they left, he immediately grabbed Li Liping's arm: "Mom, mom, is he really so rich?"

Li Liping drew the tone and made sarcastic remarks: "That's the dead man's money left by his mother. What can I do? Ask your father. When the divorce was separated, it was agreed that no penny was left to that woman." ..."

Miao Jiancheng had nothing to do with her, and cleared his throat: "Don't pass the message to me, I don't know where she got so much money."

"Hmph, didn't you feel sorry for her and gave it to her, and tell me now that you don't know?" Li Liping's thin eyebrows were raised upright, "Congcong and I will follow you to eat bran swallowed vegetables, pity us Congcong wants to go to the American summer camp , Half of the class went, but he didn't go! It's better for you to hide 20 yuan with your ex-wife and son!"

"That's right," Miao Cong was too annoyed to chime in, "You don't want to go to an American summer camp for only [-] yuan, and you don't even want to go to Thailand for winter vacation. Why can Miao Cun go to France?"

Turning his eyes, he realized that something was wrong: "He said he went there at the public expense of the school? It's fucking nonsense! This kind of project is uniformly issued with a visa, and it is impossible for him to provide a proof of property by himself. Dad, you are Played."

Miao Jiancheng was stunned.

"My brother is rich. Last time I went to him to stay overnight, he directly transferred me 1000 yuan to stay in a hotel. Don't look at him usually wearing broken canvas shoes, but he is really good at it. He must not be painting this semester." If you earn less, you will hide it yourself.”

The more Miao Jiancheng thought about it, the more wrong he became.He knows what Yan'er's situation is like in his hometown. Yan'er's sister is also living a normal life. Wasn't it because his aunt couldn't afford the chopsticks when she had to send Miao Cun back to the city?If there is really 20, it will be given to her younger sister directly, and let her take care of Miao Cun until she reaches adulthood, and it will be enough to support the poor.

The beer can slammed on the table and shook a lot, and Miao Jiancheng hung it down with a heavy face.

Miao Cong's eyes were top-notch, and when he saw this, he couldn't stop shouting: "Dad, he lied to you. I think his wings are stiff, and he dared to lie to you!"

Of course, Li Liping is not a fuel-efficient lamp: "This child!" said sadly, "How can I be so guarded against my parents? I gave birth to him, raised him, fed him, and clothed him. How old are you? You know you've made money." I hid myself, and I still want to carry the dead Yan'er out. If you are old in the future, wouldn't he put the urinal upside down on your head, and then kick you out? Birth grace, nourishment, nothing at all I'm not sorry for him..."

Miao Cong said sweetly: "Don't worry, Dad, Mom, I will take care of you. Although I may not earn as much as him in the future, I can't do that beastly thing."

Li Liping gently hugged him into her arms, smiled and patted his head, and the mother and son looked at Miao Jiancheng together.

·

"Boss," Lily handed a stack of information to Luo Minghan, "Why are you checking for autism? Are your relatives and children recruited?"

Luo Minghan didn't make a sound, turned his eyes down, and carefully read word by word in the column of symptoms.

"This disease, when I was a child, the most obvious manifestation was that I was late to speak, and I didn't like to speak. Many parents initially thought that it was simply a late learning to speak, or dumb, and they only started to worry when they found out that it was autism. There are many types of medicine. It's quite complicated. The most common concept we understand is emotional cognitive impairment. It is neither interested in expressing emotions, nor interested in perceiving emotions, nor interested in socializing. That's why it is called autism. Even the closest people can You can't get love, care, these things from them, because in their world, there is no sophistication."

Lily concluded, "If it is discovered and intervened early, it can be 'cured' and return to the track of normal people."

Luo Minghan, who hadn't made a sound for a long time, turned to the next page and asked, "What if it is cured? Will it be completely the same as a normal person, or what?"

"I don't know about this. I asked the doctor. Although some of them are cured and can socialize normally, they seem relatively indifferent and have no intention of falling in love or getting married. Some are completely cured and cry. Will love, will care, will be sad."

Lily smiled, remembering what touched her when she was looking for information: "Children with autism are very independent to a certain extent, and when they are hurt, other children will cry and fuss and want to be hugged, and they will not take the initiative to seek comfort. Yes. So as parents of autistic children, the pain is very conceivable. They can't find attachment or care for their children, as if they are like stones on the roadside to him. I saw a parent of a patient said in a mutual aid post that even if one day she was hit by a car and died in front of her child, her child would only chase the butterfly he wanted very much on the street."

Luo Minghan remained silent, and Lily asked curiously, "Are we going to invest in medical care in this area?"

Luo Minghan closed the folder, and waved his hand exhaustedly: "Go out."

After the assistant left, he lowered his head and lowered his eyes, and inserted his hands into his hair dejectedly.

Miao Cun was autistic when he was a child, which he knew a long time ago, but he never took it to heart.He thought that autism was not talking, withdrawn, not social, plus some stereotyped repetitive behaviors similar to dementia. He never thought that autism was a patient who completely closed himself in a small world.

·

After handing in the paper of the last theoretical class, it means that this semester is completely over.It’s almost spring in the south, but it’s still the coldest time here. It’s not raining, it’s only snowing, and the snow seeds are constantly floating. Some people have umbrellas, and some don’t. Miao Cun is the one without an umbrella.

He just put on the hood of the sweater, looked up at the gray-black sky, and walked into the snow.

When I was about to reach the bicycle shed, I received a call from a stranger.Aunt Qian gently probed over there: "Mr. Miao Miao, I am Aunt Qian, do you remember?"

"Did Luo Minghan ask you to find me?" Miao Cun asked lightly.

"No, no," Aunt Qian immediately denied, and at the same time glanced at the employer's face, swallowed, and asked cautiously: "You still have a painting left here, do you remember this?"

"remember."

"Because you broke up with Mr. Luo, that painting..."

"Don't throw it."

"Ah." Aunt Qian breathed a sigh of relief, and looked at Luo Minghan again.Finding that he seemed to have escaped from a state of unresolved tension, his eyes softened.

"I'll get it sometime when he's not around."

It was the first time he tried the cold and strong Russian style, and the replay afterward will have experience significance only after the painting is finished.When I started to write, I didn't have any particular inspiration to draw, but the scene of Luo Minghan outside the library of the vocational school flashed in my mind, which was very suitable.

I'm not sure whether it will be a successful work, so I never let Luo Minghan know, every time I take the time during the day to paint secretly, every stroke is dedicated.What he thought was that if the painting was successful, he would give it to Luo Minghan, and if the painting was destroyed, he would throw it away.

"Mr. Luo has a social event today. If you are free today, you can come and get it. Since you are not coming, the studio should be demolished...Mr. Luo said it is an eyesore." Aunt Qian lied embarrassingly.

The air was inexplicably colder, she turned her head to look, her hands trembling so much that she almost dropped her phone on the ground.

Luo Minghan was so anxious that he almost explained aloud, his expression was so ugly that he could barely hold back.Who the hell said it was an eyesore?

"Okay." Miao Cun glanced at his watch, "I'll come over now."

He is coming now?Luo Minghan looked up at the gloomy sky outside.The snow fell endlessly, and it was getting bigger and bigger.

"Come here by taxi," Aunt Qian received Luo Minghan's instructions, "I'm afraid that if Mr. Luo comes back early, I'll pay you the taxi fare."

Miao Cun smiled: "No need."

He rode his bicycle home in the snow, and the wind shaved his face sorely. When he got in the taxi, he was so warm that he dozed off.

Luo Minghan had been waiting outside very early.Afraid of revealing his secrets, he drove the car to the two neighboring buildings, keeping his eyes fixed on the main entrance of the villa.Seeing Miao Cun getting off the car with his schoolbag in his arms, his heart trembled like an electric shock.

In the dusk, in the wind and snow, Miao Cun is like a very faint shadow.

Originally, I had to wait 5 minutes before going up, so the scene was barely real.

But Luo Minghan never knew that he was also an impatient person. He was tortured by time, minute and second hands.

Otherwise, just 4 minutes.

After waiting for 2 minutes, the hands holding the steering wheel were like ants eating.

Otherwise, just 3 minutes.

At two minutes and 40 seconds, Luo Minghan pushed the car door desperately.

Miao Cun took off the white cloth, "Have Luo Minghan seen this painting?"

"No," Aunt Qian said naturally, "Sir, he seldom goes home these days, and he doesn't want to see things related to you. He seldom even comes into this studio."

Fart, sit here every night until the wee hours of the morning, if you come back from the entertainment until the wee hours of the morning, you have to sit here quietly for a while, as if there is some unique curative effect here.

This painting is large in size and wide, and the frame was stretched beforehand, and now the frame must be dismantled before it can be taken away.Miao Cun asked Aunt Qian to take the vise and pull out the nails one by one. When the fourth nail was pulled out, he seemed to have a premonition, paused, and turned his head to look back.

Luo Minghan stood at the door of the studio, covered in wind and snow.

Strange, very peaceful heart.Miao Cun could not feel the anger, or the ridicule of being deceived.He seemed to have known for a long time that this was a small, clumsy trick, and that Luo Minghan would appear so coincidentally.

But he still came.