Please don't be so hard on me!

The driver had already driven the Maybach away, and Luo Minghan carried Miao Cun into the back seat of the Land Rover.

The underground parking lot wrapped the silence around the car, and Miao Cun heard Luo Minghan mocking himself hoarsely: "Did I screw up again?"

Miao Cun didn't speak.

Guan Yingtao called to ask about the situation: "Are you okay?"

"fine."

"Miao Miao drank too much, it will be fine when he wakes up." Guan Yingtao comforted him, "I'll keep the ring for you first."

"Throw it away." Luo Minghan said lightly.

Miao Cun's eyeballs trembled slightly, then he raised his eyes and looked at Luo Minghan's face.

"Huh?" Guan Yingtao was dumbfounded, "...the proposal ring...are you willing to throw it away?"

Because the environment over there was extremely noisy, even his voice was raised a lot, and Miao Cun could hear his words clearly.

Luo Minghan ignored his obviously retarded question and hung up the phone.

Miao Cun's gaze stayed on Luo Minghan's face in a daze, as if he wanted to say something, but he couldn't speak.On the contrary, Luo Minghan was gentle from beginning to end, "Did you hear that? Don't take it seriously, he won't really throw it away, if he really throws it away, at worst, buy a new one." There was just detectable loneliness in his smile, "This I bought the ring for my birthday, and you ended up in France."

Miao Cun's lips parted, and before speaking, Luo Minghan gave a soft "shh", "I know what you're going to say," hooked his lower lip lightly, "You want to say, let's break up, don't you? "

The heartbeat gradually fell back to normal speed, and the blood in the blood vessels was no longer rushing so recklessly. Miao Cun took a light breath, and asked softly following his words: "Are you okay?"

The already quiet space fell into a deeper silence.

The fingertips that were numb due to the throbbing pain of the heart could not be clenched at all. Luo Minghan could only curl his fingers, but his face remained calm: "Miao Cun, I love and care about you, don't you really care about it at all?" Can't see it, don't you care at all?"

"I see," Miao Cun closed his eyes, put his knees into his arms, and pressed his face gently, "I care."

"Since you care, why can't you promise me? As I said, long-distance and cross-border relationships are nothing to me. As long as you want, I can accompany you wherever you want."

"Brother Luo, do you think I'm Xi Xiaohan?" Miao Cun pulled the corner of his lips, "You don't need to scare me like this. When the time comes, I will leave by myself."

Luo Minghan felt so absurd for a moment that he was speechless. He gritted his teeth, but smiled blankly: "Do you think that all I did today was to force you to leave?"

"I don't know," Miao Cun looked at him with clear eyes like glass, "I just think that you don't really want to do this. Brother Luo,...you always use marriage proposals as a means."

Luo Minghan was stunned, and Miao Cun smiled obediently: "Look, I'm not that stupid."

·

In the end, Miao Cun never saw what the proposal ring looked like, a quick glance at the banquet was all it took.Packing his luggage was always busy and stopped. When he stopped, he would unconsciously think about that ring, wondering if Guan Yingtao had really thrown it away.Luo Minghan went on a business trip for three days, and when he came back, he always felt that the room was quite empty.

He thought it was his illusion, but in the cloakroom, the white T-shirt and sweater that belonged to the boy disappeared, leaving only the high-end suit standing empty on the side.

"It's the end of the semester, and the review meeting is late, and I often have to stay up late to do the project design..." Miao Cun lowered his head, and put a few grains of white rice into his mouth with the tip of his chopsticks. It will be more convenient."

Luo Minghan calmly took a deep breath, instead of questioning, he curled his lips and said casually, "Recently, I've been thinking about the child I saved all of a sudden."

Miao Cun stopped chewing, his chopsticks did not move, and his eyes froze for a moment, like a small animal caught in a turmoil.

"Do you think he will still remember that one spring, he had frostbite on his hands, and he couldn't draw well no matter what, I took him out..."

Go out and watch the spring floods on the canal.

Miao Cun answered softly in his heart.

Seeing the melting of ice and snow, the ice sheets roared and cracked, rushing westward in the sun, and the fishing freight ships whistled, and under the solid ice, the green nets were put away and they were running wildly. A winter river fish.Those fish were placed side by side in such a world of ice and snow on the pier, and they were sold at unbelievable prices. Those who watched the excitement put their hands in the sleeves of their cotton jackets, and Miao Cun followed their example.But he was too small. After doing this, he squatted down again, like a quail.

"Do you know that you look like a quail yourself?"

The little quail lowered its head and pondered for a while, then became depressed, "But I'm cold."

Brother Luo took his hand and put it into his big palm.His palms are really warm. When he pressed his fingers hard, the little quail frowned and "hissed", "You squeezed my hemorrhoids."

"……frostbite."

"..."

"You are so stupid, are you really a genius?"

This was probably a death sentence, and the little quail looked up at him blankly and helplessly, with a hurt expression.

"Well you are."

Later, Miao Cun went there again by himself, and when he came back, he painted a painting called "Spring Flood", which made him enter the Academy of Fine Arts.

"Will you remember?" Luo Minghan asked again.

"I'll remember."

"He ate three bunches of candied haws that day, and I gave him a pair of gloves when he returned."

"It's worn by girls."

The yellow and white checkered ones, as well as the bowknots, have a certain rural style, which made Miao Cun deeply suspicious of Luo Yuanhe's aesthetics.

Luo Minghan looked at him meaningfully, across a narrow dining table, "How do you know?"

Miao Cun lowered his eyes, his crow-black eyelashes were drawn away from his panic: "It's just guessing, you can't do anything good anyway."

Luo Minghan laughed, "If he knows that Luo Yuanhe and I are actually two people, tell me, will he like Luo Yuanhe more, or me?"

"like it all."

Luo Minghan's eyes became more gentle: "Are you too greedy?"

"Three people can play together and become good friends."

"Then if Luo Yuanhe and I got into a fight because of jealousy over him, whose side would he be on?"

"Teacher Luo."

Luo Minghan was silent for a long time, and asked, "Why?"

"Because you look more powerful, Teacher Luo should not be able to beat you."

This question is boring, and the answer is naturally casual, but Luo Minghan took it seriously, and his heart ached unreasonably, "Why? Just because I look better than Luo Yuanhe, so I can only abandon me, leave me alone, yes ?"

After a few more days, the house was even emptier, and even the paint was removed.Miao Cun is a person who paints wherever he lives. His paints and brushes have been taken away, which means that he will not come back to live again.He asked for leave on purpose that day, and came to pack the last things in the afternoon.

When the brush was rolled up, there was a movement in the hallway, and I thought it was Uncle Ze who came to do the cleaning.He went out and saw Luo Minghan standing at the entrance, dusty.

Both of them were stunned, as if they broke through an unbearable scene, but they clearly wanted to maintain their dignity, so after this break-up, there was only silence and embarrassment.

Luo Minghan has been very busy recently, and the partner made a mistake, which directly affected the current project, so that even someone of his level had to come out to clean up the mess.He was in a hurry every day, so he didn't have time to pay attention to some details. He forced himself to look around the house, only to realize in a daze that the aura called Miao Cun in this house was very small.

As long as he leaves today, there will be no reason for him to set foot here again in the future.

"Say hello to Matt for me," he said nonchalantly.

It took two seconds for Miao Cun to wake up as if he had just woken up from a dream, and he nodded curtly: "Okay."

"I send you?"

"No need," Miao Cun indicated that there were not many things, "I came here by bicycle."

He watched Miao Cun return to the studio and repack some bits and pieces.Miao Cun turned his back to him, probably feeling too quiet, and asked, "Why did you come back suddenly?"

It was also difficult for Luo Minghan to speak clearly. "When I left the conference room, I looked back at the painting you drew by accident, and suddenly I missed you very much." After a pause, "I think it was this time last year, and I just met you."

Then Miao Cun thought of more, thinking of Luo Minghan's relentless pursuit of him, thinking of how he coaxed and tricked him to go to the office to paint, and when he painted late at night every day, the senior partner's office was always busy. It's so late.Thinking of the dark gray sheets and woody fragrance in his lounge, when he came back from a business trip that day, instead of going home, he came to the lounge and bullied him to do evil.

It was unavoidable to think of Luo Minghan appearing down and out in the small village of Xishuangbanna, looking deeply tortured, he couldn't help but smile slightly with the corners of his lips curled up, and he even slowed down to tidy up.In the dim canteen, the breathless kiss was suppressed, and the sentence "You really don't miss me at all" was said through gritted teeth. In fact, it was thinking.

After tidying up his things, Miao Cun stuffed them into his schoolbag, turned around and smiled, and said in a soft and upbeat tone, "I'm leaving."

He brushed past Luo Minghan, holding his breath.Luo Minghan suddenly felt a wave of panic, and before he could react consciously, he had already hugged Miao Cun tightly into his arms, his arms folded and tightened.

"I didn't promise you to break up, you know it." The fundus of his eyes was stained red, and his breathing gradually became anxious.

"I know."

"For you, I'm just a dispensable thing, a piece of garbage that can be thrown away,... Tell me, right?"

Miao Cun was silent for a moment, and the answer was unbelievably sober: "So it was, but now it's not."

Luo Minghan laughed dumbly. He really wanted to ask Miao Cun if it was because he knew that he had rescued him and accompanied him when he was a child, so he reluctantly changed from "yes" to "no". What about the relationship?If he hadn't rescued him, if he hadn't taken him to see ice platoons and spring floods, if he hadn't given him yellow gloves and candied haws, wouldn't it be—Luo Minghan, a person, wouldn't be worthy of his nostalgia?

Could it be that Luo Minghan is a worthless person, and only the afterglow of past memories has given him such a pitiful corner in his heart?

"I don't believe it." Luo Minghan clasped his wrist, on which was the bracelet he gave him, engraved with the three letters LMH.His fingers slid down, and he forcibly formed a gesture of interlocking fingers with Miao Cun, "You love me, but you don't know it."

……Love?

Miao Cun was at a loss for this sentence, this word is too heavy, how could he put it on Luo Minghan?If love in everyone is like a mining game, then others are a mine of gold coins and diamonds that are constantly being dug out, but he is so barren, bare leaden gray, and it will take a long time to dig until Only a pitiful bit of love can be saved in the heart of the earth that will sting.

All that love has been given to Luo Yuanhe.

"I do not……"

The complete words were not uttered because Luo Minghan did not allow it.His right hand tightly covered Miao Cun's mouth, but the other hand tightly intertwined his fingers, "I don't believe it."

·

Although the change from cohabitation to separation, Luo Minghan seems to have gotten used to running to the university town every day, running from the jump to Miao Cunren's villa, it's just a few extra kilometers, it doesn't matter.Miao Cun was busy with his final work, and when he came back late, he would meet Luo Minghan sitting in the living room waiting for him, while he was handling some business work.

There is nothing to talk about, and most of them revolve around his studying abroad, asking if there is any problem with the visa, asking about the scholarship, asking if the living expenses are enough, and will share some social experiences and thoughts about studying in France with him.Chatted like this for ten, twenty or ten minutes, then got up and said goodbye.Miao Cun sent him to the door, and he always hugged and kissed him at the door.

Luo Minghan kissed him, from light to deep, until his tongue hurt from sucking.His fingers rubbed the bracelet on his left wrist habitually, and then interlocked with Miao Cun's fingers.

On Friday, I went to the studio in the old campus with Xie Shanhan to help him.Passing by the open-air awning of the coffee shop, Xie Shanhan narrowed his eyes, "Your boyfriend."

Miao Cun looked over subconsciously, and sure enough, he saw Luo Minghan drinking coffee with a boy dressed as a student. The two sat opposite each other, and the atmosphere was relaxed.

It's hard to put into words what I felt in that moment. Thinking of that night, when the male publicist sent him home, there was a dull pain in my heart slowly, but Luo Minghan would force him to explain, and he would touch him soberly in the middle of the night. , Hold him to sleep.

Miao Cun smiled: "It's almost broken up."

Xie Shanhan's eyes are dark gray, as sharp as an eagle under a high mountain.He stared at Miao Cun like this for a while, "Don't pretend you're not sad."

"It's really not sad." Miao Cun thanked him for his kindness, but he couldn't tell him that the obvious sadness was substituted on Luo Yuanhe. If it was Luo Minghan, then it would be fine.

·

"It's possible, but I don't understand," Luo Luo asked again, "Are you sure you really want to do this?"

He looked at Luo Minghan who was sitting opposite him, he was very strange, as if wrapped in a layer of thick black fog, he became deep and cold and unfathomable.The sunshine at the end of May was not enough to warm him. Seeing Luo Minghan like this, Luo Luo almost shuddered in his heart.

"determine."

"Aren't you afraid that he really misunderstood and won't be able to explain clearly in the future?"

"I have a lifetime to explain to him."

Lolo closed his mouth.

Luo Minghan smiled indifferently, "Do you think you don't believe it?"

"No."

Luo Luo thought, I dare not believe it.

"You think it's time to break up. There's no future at all, let alone a lifetime, don't you?"

Luo Luo was so nervous that she became stiff, swallowed and did not speak.

Luo Minghan didn't care about his answer, he smiled casually, and wiped out the cigarette butt in the deep ashtray, "He loves me very much, but he is still young and has been sick, so he doesn't know much about love."

Luo Luo stared at Luo Minghan in puzzlement and panic, seeing that the finger bone of him holding the cigarette butt turned white, his tall body slightly bent over, and said casually, coldly and firmly: "I just help him see his own body clearly. It's just my mind."

Luo Minghan asked him to pretend that he had a relationship with him, the more realistic the act, the better.He said it was the only way he could repay him, and it was written off from then on.There is nothing simpler than this, and Luo Luo can't think of a reason to refuse.What's more, he really wanted to see the person who made Luo Minghan lose his mind.

When Miao Cun helped Xie Shanhan move the plaster statue, Xie Shanhan sat on the high steps without moving, with one leg bent and resting on the other.

"Hi." Miao Cun was angry.

Xie Shanhan laughed, and lazily stood the little thing in his hand on the gray concrete steps, it was a little Miao Cun.

"coming."

Miao Cun pointed at that thing with disgust: "Don't think that you can get rid of me like this."

"Are you kidding, it's just an embryo."

The phone vibrated, Miao Cun took it out with his hands full of ashes and picked it up, it was Luo Minghan.He asked him to have dinner over there in the evening.

"Go?" Miao Cun asked Xie Shanhan.

"You are dating yourself, why ask me?"

"I do not know."

"Go if you want to see, don't go if you don't want to see."

"Isn't he drinking coffee with someone else, why did he invite me to dinner again at night?"

"Don't kill yourself," Xie Shanhan said casually, "There is no reason to cheat."

"It's just a cup of coffee, so it can't be considered cheating." Miao Cun asked.

Xie Shanhan looked at him a few times, and the corner of his lips curled up: "It really doesn't count, I think he should be reluctant." Then he rubbed Miao Cun's hair with a smile: "Otherwise, you can ask him yourself at night."

The work in the sculpture department was as dirty as that in the oil painting department. Because he was going to eat in the evening, Miao Cun could only leave early, and went home by bike to take a shower and change into clean clothes.When he reached the jump floor, Luo Minghan hadn't returned home yet.But Aunt Qian and Lao Yan were not there either, and it didn't look like someone was starting a fire.

There must be some delay.

Miao Cun waited on the sofa for a while, then called Luo Minghan, but no one answered.

It was still dark, so he might have come too early.

Staying up all night to paint the final project, it is easy to feel sleepy after taking a break.Miao slept on the sofa for a while, but he didn't know where to put the sofa blanket. His body was cold, so he went back to the bedroom in a daze, and lay down on the bed.It was Luo Minghan's breath, which strangely made him feel familiar and at ease.

When I woke up again, I was awakened by the lights and voices outside the bedroom door.

Is it Aunt Qian?Looking at the phone, it was almost seven o'clock.

There is a crystal chandelier hanging in the living room, the light is very bright, warm in color, as bright as a feast of flowing champagne.Miao Cun wiped the end of his eyes, the footsteps landing were light, and he walked outside.

The thin gray blanket was rolled to the ground by him and fell silently.

There were indeed people in the living room, but it wasn't Aunt Qian and the chef, Lao Yan.

"Luo——" the elder brother didn't say the word, Miao Cun was stunned, his lips were pursed, and he saw another stranger standing there.

I had coffee with him this afternoon.

When Luo Minghan saw him, he was stunned for a moment, and then asked a question that Miao Cun couldn't understand: "Why are you here?"

He frowned, as if Miao Cun was an unexpected visitor, and his arrival caused him a lot of trouble.

Miao Cun pursed his lips, without explaining that he invited him over for dinner.It was he himself who forgot.He is not wrong.

The expression disappeared from his face in an instant, and Miao Cun said bluntly, "I'm sorry to bother you."

"You are Miao Cun?" Luo Luo, who had been standing next to Luo Minghan, asked.

Miao Cun frowned: "Do I know you?"

The other party pulled the corners of his lips and smiled obediently, with a prickly dimple: "My name is Luo Luo."

Lo -

A stone tied his heart, and then fell straight down the cliff with his heart.

With a bang, a hollow echo came from the bottom of the black hole.

It was that Lolo, Luo Minghan sent him back to school on a typhoon day, threw him in the teaching building and let the wind blow for 15 minutes.

It was Luo Luo, who Guan Yingtao said had sex with him, a mathematics student from the University of Science and Technology, who is very smart in mathematics. Although Luo Minghan denied their relationship, it seems that it doesn't matter whether he denies it or not.

Luo Luo dutifully played the role that Luo Minghan asked him to play, and meaningfully looked up and down Miao Cun: "I thought that a person who has talked with Luo Minghan for a year would look noble, and you seem to be nothing more than that."

Luo Minghan poured a glass of water by himself, leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, and watched Miao Cun's reaction calmly.

Miao Cun's expression was very cold, "I'm sorry, please step aside."

"Why did you leave in such a hurry?" Luo Luo stretched out an arm to stop him, glanced at the indifferent Luo Minghan, swallowed for a moment, and prodded him with deeper words: "You are not still waiting for Luo Minghan to get back together with you, are you? Run to his house, lie on his bed and wait for him? Why are you so cheap?"

"Luoluo." Luo Minghan called him, his tone was low, and his expression showed a trace of impatience.

How is Miao Cun?He didn't let Luo Luo say such nasty words... He almost wanted to rush over to grab Miao Cun and tell him that all of this was fake and staged.However, it is not yet time.He wanted to see Miao Cun's sincerity after his collapse.

His, his little liar is too good at disguising, too good at lying, and too stupid, if he is not forced to this point, he will not know that he loves him...he will not know that he actually loves him.

My heart was suffocated, and it seemed to be very difficult to breathe.Miao Cun took a breath, and then said calmly: "I have indeed broken up with him, and we will not get back together in the future, you can do whatever you want."

Luo Minghan stood up straight.

What the fuck is he talking about?When did they break up?Didn't you meet him the day before yesterday, and kiss him good night at his door the day before yesterday?What is "will not get back together in the future?" Who allowed him to make such a conclusion without authorization?Who...Luo Minghan clenched his water glass tightly, took a breath, his eyes were empty and blackened—who allowed him to sentence their relationship to death?

Only Luo Luo saw how pale his face was, and originally typed more vicious and vitriolic words, but he opened his lips and couldn't speak at all.

Miao Cun hastily hooked his lower lip and lowered his eyes: "...please step aside."

Luo Luo subconsciously took a step back to the side.Miao Cun passed him, the door was still closed, the draft was blowing past him, carrying the coolness of early summer night.

"Who allowed you to go?" Luo Minghan grabbed his arm, biting his back teeth tightly.

"If you don't leave, then what?" Miao Cun didn't understand him, and asked exhaustedly, "Brother Luo, why can't we be more decent?"

This sentence was already very sad, with an indistinct nasal sound, but Luo Minghan didn't hear it.

"Decent, what is decent?" Luo Minghan roughly dragged him back to the living room, "Tell me what is decent!" He panted anxiously, his throat was hard and hoarse: "You are the one who said lightly that we have broken up, and that we will not be together in the future." Is it decent to get back together again? Miao Cun, I don't want your dignity, I want you to care!"

Miao Cun's whole body was cold, with no expression on his face, his heart was so painful that his palms were numb, but the more it hurt, the more he couldn't react, he could only say coldly, "I don't care, I'm sorry."

"I don't care at all."

"Not at all."

Luo Minghan laughed incredulously, and looked at Miao Cun as if he was a stranger: "You are such a monster—"

"You are such a monster who doesn't understand human nature, doesn't understand love and has no heart. Your autism won't be cured at all, and it won't be cured in your mother's lifetime! Isn't it?!"

The light in front of him seemed to flicker, and Miao Cun had to blink hard to see Luo Minghan clearly and see his red eyes.

"What did you say?" Wei Yin was already trembling, but he squeezed his palm tightly, "You... have long known that I have autism?"

Luo Minghan already knew that he had autism...

"Otherwise, why do you think I have extra patience with you? It's because you have autism that I will never forget you! You,..." Luo Minghan panted heavily, his throat moved, and there was something in his brain. The voice was frantically telling him to stop, but he just stared at Miao Cun and said word by word: "I thought I could influence you, touch you, and see that you care about me and love me, I love you." Wrong—" He sneered like crazy: "I tell you today, you are not worthy of love at all, you will only spoil love forever, you are a monster who never understands love all your life—whoever you fall in love with , you are doomed to be unlucky forever!"