Please don't be so hard on me!

"In his current situation, I don't recommend doing intervention at home, especially if you don't have any experience." Dr. Yu smiled during the phone call, "Take care of autism is very troublesome. , how many families and parents have been dragged to exhaustion and collapse, not to mention that you are still taking medicine, as your friend, I must remind you that staying with him for a long time is not conducive to your own recovery at all."

"He doesn't want to go to the hospital." Luo Minghan repeated again.

"Although I'm not a psychiatrist, I consulted several experts in the morning. According to you, he didn't receive formal intervention when he was a child. He got better with his mother's company, so the hidden danger has always been All in, or rather, he never really healed. Once he was severely stimulated, the string in his brain would--pop--you know, the human consciousness is strong and fragile, and a string can maintain He maintains a peaceful life like a normal person, and all his peace can be destroyed in an instant."

Luo Minghan recalled that night when he went to the police station to pick up Miao Cun.How similar he was at that time to now, he was unresponsive, he couldn't see others, and his eyes were cold like a child standing on another planet.

"Once severely stimulated."

No one knows better than Luo Minghan what the stimulation Miao Cun received, who it came from, and who is the real instigator and culprit——

It was Luo Minghan.

"So he doesn't want to go to the hospital. It may be because of some experiences in his childhood. For example, let me use an analogy. The behavior teacher for autism has very high requirements. It is required to understand not only psychology, educational psychology, but also psychiatry. , brain science, even now, the behavior correction schools for autism are still very mixed, let alone more than ten or twenty years ago? Maybe his mother encountered some liars during the intervention process with him, or backward, The extreme correction method left him with a bad and painful impression." Dr. Yu sipped his saliva, "That's why he rejected the hospital very much, thinking that he might not be able to hold on, and would rather go to a small mountain village to treat himself. Healing, and I don’t want to believe in modern medicine.”

Having said that, he smiled and shook his head: "He is really amazing, a star child with strong willpower and spiritual power."

Star Child, the name people give to autistic and autistic patients.

"Speaking of which, if you don't believe in medical science yourself, wouldn't you be a little anti-intellectual?" Dr. Yu teased.

He is always sloppy, he doesn't bother to frown on big things, Luo Minghan lowered his head and dusted off the cigarette, "I want to bring him back for treatment, I don't worry about the hospitals in Xishuangbanna or Kunming."

"Of course, the top medical resources in the country are here, and you are not short of money, so it's good to be able to bring them back," Dr. Yu reminded kindly, "But if he resists and doesn't remember you, you may You can’t take him away, and besides, his condition is basically not suitable for flying, so how do you bring him back?”

Luo Minghan pondered, "If he wants, I can drive him."

Dr. Yu wowed silently, "More than 3000 kilometers, spanning the whole of China vertically, Luo Minghan, you amazed me this time."

Luo Minghan took a deep breath of his cigarette, and smiled awkwardly.

"I met Xi Xiaohan a few days ago. He accompanied his mother to come here for a physical examination and chatted for a while." Doctor Yu held a water glass, "He asked me if you were crazy, I didn't say, You made a lot of noise this time, there are all kinds of things in the circle, hell, you are not really robbing someone with your brother, are you?"

"He already knew." This is a declarative sentence.

Dr. Yu scratched his eyebrows: "Indeed, I think he is quite proud."

"He also passed the news." This is also a declarative sentence.

"Uh..." As a mutual friend of both sides, Dr. Yu was a bit difficult to deal with.

"It's okay, tell him for me, thank him for his reminder and concern, I really love Miao Cun."

Dr. Yu gasped silently: "Forget it, I won't stimulate him for you."

After lazily comforting him and explaining a few words, the two hung up the phone respectively.Luo Minghan smoked the remaining half of his cigarette with his mobile phone, dialed the familiar overseas number again, followed by WeChat, and finally a private message on social networks. Today, it is no surprise that he received a series of busy messages——Luo Yuanhe still has no news.

After the wind blew away the smell of smoke from his body, he returned to Miao Cun's side.

While painting, Miao Cun looks the same as before.He is painting landscapes, using bold and strong colors, and his brushstrokes are still calm and delicate as before, but what he paints is not the scene in front of him.

Luo Minghan sat with him. After a while, the company's conference call came in. He put on the Bluetooth headset and listened to the project manager's report. Wall Street fund representatives were also there, so this was a purely English meeting.He was engrossed in listening, and suddenly his face was poked by something cool.

Luo Minghan pressed the headset, saw Miao Cun looking at him, and quickly asked, "What's wrong?"

Miao Cun handed him a white long-handled brush: "Draw."

Point to a long light blue and white area in the picture.

On the phone, the fund representative asked a few questions, and the project manager responded, but the other party seemed dissatisfied, and asked instead: "What do you think of Eric? I want to hear your opinion."

Luo Minghan took the pen, "Policy risks, what Tina said is very comprehensive, according to the consumption data of the National Bureau of Statistics last quarter..." Miao Cun looked at him with a frown, and he rarely paused for two seconds. Before I knew why, I heard a boyish voice: "You are so stupid."

Participants:"…………"

Luo Minghan hurriedly cut the silence: "2 minutes."

He calmed down, held the paintbrush, and asked, "Shall I paint?"

Miao Cun nodded.

Luo Minghan coughed guiltily, glanced at the light blue paint stained on the brush, and tapped on the area of ​​the picture that he felt was relatively safe.

For those who have not been trained, once they pick up a paintbrush, not to mention the professional skills, the stability of the wrist alone will reveal the truth.

Luo Minghan looked at his shabby pen—coughed again, and obediently put down the pen.

Miao Cun tilted his head to look at the picture, his brows were deeply frowned, and he felt that he couldn't understand.

Luo Minghan had known for a long time that it was not easy to pretend to be Luo Yuanhe, so at this moment his heart beat wildly, for fear that Miao Cun would find out something.

Without saying a word, Miao Cun dipped the paint with a smaller brush, and dotted pale white with Luo Minghan's stroke.It was a color reminiscent of winter morning light.

Luo Minghan heaved a sigh of relief and returned to the meeting again.

He drove it for an hour, and Miao Cun was always quiet, neither noisy nor noisy.Some preschool children in the village, after listening to the gossip of the adults, knew that there was a "crazy" living here, and they came to watch the fun after lunch.Luo Minghan's ears were fluent in business English of Wall Street elites, and he picked up a stick to beat people. The urchins ran away screaming strangely. When he turned his head, he saw that free-range peacock put its sharp beak together. Come here, Luo Minghan: "Fuck!"

Miao Cuncun wrote, staring blankly and ignorantly, while looking at Luo Minghan, and at the same time looking at the peacock.

Luo Minghan cleared his throat.

He can't reveal his secrets, he is the one who has sharp-mouth phobia, not Luo Yuanhe, Luo Yuanhe is not afraid of peacocks.He swallowed a bit, feeling hot and hot all over his body, he unbuttoned a shirt button, stretched out his hand hesitantly,... and touched the peacock's head.

God!

"You don't come here."

"what?"

Miao Cun pointed to his eyes: "Your eyes are talking." Then he pointed to the peacock: "You are talking to it."

Luo Minghan: "..."

In the meeting: "Eric? Eric, are you still there? If there is no other opinion..."

Luo Minghan switched back to the microphone and said impatiently: "No objection, the meeting is adjourned!"

He took off the earphones, probably because the peacock didn't like him, so he poked his neck and lightly pecked his hand, and Miao Cun punched the peacock on the head with no expression on his face.

"hungry."

Only then did Luo Minghan realize that it was already twelve o'clock. My aunt went to town today and couldn't make it back at noon. She prepared meals for them in advance in the morning, as long as they steamed them over water.Luo Minghan was in the meeting and forgot about it.He walked towards the fence gate, and when he turned around, he found Miao Cun following him step by step.

Like at the police station at that time.

Luo Minghan stopped, and Miao Cun also stopped, always separated by two steps.

Luo Minghan put his hand on the fence gate, and Miao Cun's eyes fell on his hand.

"Are you leaving?" Miao Cun asked.

"When will you be back?" Miao Cun asked again.

"Will it come back?" he asked finally.

Luo Minghan's heart was sour, "You don't want me to go?"

Miao Cun looked into his eyes and nodded: "France is far away, I can't go there."

Luo Minghan was blinded by the wind, and a line of tears fell from his right eye socket, which was wiped away by him without changing his face. He strode back to Miao Cun and hugged him in his arms, but he didn't say a word.

He will find Luo Yuanhe back for Miao Cun, it's just a matter of time.When Luo Yuanhe returned to him, he let go.Must let go.You must let go quickly and never look back.

"Want to go out with me?"

Miao Cun hesitated, "No."

"I allow."

"Danger."

"I will protect you."

"I am dangerous." Miao Cun said word by word.

Luo Minghan squeezed his palm hard: "Miao Miao is not dangerous."

He unlocked the fence gate, took Miao Cun's hand and walked out.The grass on the ridge was so long, it was sun-tanned dark green, and Miao Cun's loosely rolled trouser legs brushed against each other, making a rustling sound.

In the kitchen, the lid of the large stove was lifted, and there were indeed sweet potatoes, vegetables and some meat in a drawer of steamers, and the rice was heated in the rice cooker.After all, my aunt's family has only been here, so there are no rich dishes, but the steamed and heated dishes do lack the taste.Luo Minghan opened the refrigerator to look at the leftovers, and then looked at the small melons, green and red peppers, white radishes, and some sweet potato leaves piled up in one corner.

"What do you want to eat?"

"ice cream."

"……That's not it."

"watermelon."

"Eat this after dinner."

Miao Cun bit his lip unhappily.

"never mind."

Luo Minghan turned around and went out, bolted the kitchen door, so that he would not have to worry about Miao Cun running around, and then unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt, rolled them up a few times, revealing his strong forearms with obvious veins.

"Why don't you wear that?"

"Which one?"

"Short sleeves."

Luo Minghan guessed that he might be referring to PoloT, all movements froze for a moment, and he whispered vaguely: "Wear it tomorrow."

Call my aunt later and ask her to bring some casual clothes back from the town, so I can make do with them first.

"This one looks good too," Miao Cun thought seriously, making a comparison: "It looks better."

"Then change it?" Luo Minghan held the heavy solid wooden pot lid and asked for his opinion.

Wearing a light blue shirt, he was refreshing and handsome, and with such a tall, broad-shouldered figure, he would be surrounded by crowds when he went to the small shop at the entrance of the village to buy a can of beer.Miao Cun pursed his lower lip: "No change."

Luo Minghan followed him and curled his lower lip, but the pain in his heart didn't go away, on the contrary, it became even more uncomfortable.Afraid that Miao Cun would see what was going on, he lowered his head and took out the plates one by one from the big iron pot, and with a wrong eye, he saw Miao Cun sitting on a small stool, obediently and consciously picking up fresh sweet potato leaves.

Smoke rises from the chimney, curling up in the cloudless sky.

Miao Cun's appetite was obviously stronger than last night, he ate half a bowl more of rice, wiped his mouth, and asked Luo Minghan for watermelon.There was a cut half of it in the refrigerator, Luo Minghan gave him a silver spoon and asked him to dig and eat it himself.Miao Cun ate the one in the melon, thinking about the one in the refrigerator, "Ice cream."

Luo Minghan could only delay the attack: "Let's eat at night."

Miao Cun remained expressionless, and refused to eat the melon: "I want it now."

"Not now." Luo Minghan opened the frozen layer and showed it to him.

"Go buy it."

Luo Minghan cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks, pretending not to hear.Miao Cun hugged the melon, like a jukebox: "I must eat ice cream, you can look for it, there must be some in the refrigerator, it is blueberry flavor, a small box, there is a small elephant on it, a small elephant, 60g ..."

People with autism only see what they want to get and what they want to achieve. Seriously, there are fixed procedures for daily and weekly itineraries, when to eat what, what time to watch TV and what to listen to As for the music, it's all about the same thing.Forcing their wishes—even outright irrational ones, or breaking their rules—could have drastic consequences.

Luo Minghan clutched the rag, leaned on the stove and took a deep breath, and when he raised his face again, he regained his patient and gentle smile: "Then let's go buy it now, shall we?"

Miao Cun: "Okay."

He has not been out of his aunt's yard or into the village for almost two months.

At noon, the village was soaked in laziness, so quiet that only cicadas were left. Under the huge and towering linden tree, two old yellow dogs were tired from playing, and they were taking a nap with their tails curled up.Miao Cun hugged the melon, and dug and ate it with a spoon while walking, with Luo Minghan guarding his side.

Before reaching the canteen at the entrance of the village, a child came over and made faces and shouted, "Oh oh oh! Crazy! Crazy!"

Miao Cun stopped.

Luo Minghan asked impatiently: "Whose child? Take it away!"

But there were no adults around.

The children were all playing in groups, one screaming, and the other screaming, one after another imitating the gossip they heard from adults: "Idiot! Fool! Murderer!"

Adults should be talking about "potential murderers", children are quite good at rounding up without authorization.

Miao Cun took two steps forward, "Miaomiao—" Luo Minghan's heart raised his throat, and he was caught off guard, "Kaji"—the watermelon rind that had been dug in half was thrown upside down on the child's shaved green skin. On the scalp, it dangled like a pot lid.

Luo Minghan: "..."

The watermelon water dripped down, the child was stunned, his mouth shrunk, Luo Minghan saw that something was wrong, he pulled Miao Cun up and ran for a while.

Cries and the laughter of other children were left behind.

"Miao Cun, how old are you?" Luo Minghan stood still panting, and severely criticized him.

"100 is old."

Luo Minghan: "...two plus two equals how much?"

"Four."

"Are you kidding me?"

Miao Cun held his spoon in his mouth and stopped talking.

When we arrived at the canteen, there was a mahjong table under the awning.Seeing people coming, all four faces opened their mouths to look at the two of them.

"I want ice cream with a little elephant printed on it, blueberry flavor." After thinking about it, it's too bad, "Add another dozen Budweiser."

Aunt Xiang, the proprietress of the canteen, went in to bring beer, and Luo Minghan helped Miao Cun open the freezer: "Do you want to take a box?"

"No." Miao Cun just took one.

"Will you eat tomorrow?" Luo Minghan asked suspiciously.

"I'll buy it tomorrow."

Luo Minghan understands, on purpose, if he buys it every day, it means that he can go out every day, it's a good deal, it's like going to jail to let the wind go.Feeling sore and funny in his heart, it turned into unspeakable distress, he raised his hand and touched Miao Cun's face.

"It's been a long time since I saw Cuncun." The villagers were quite embarrassed, and they bit the bullet and exchanged greetings in a strange way.

"Has it been a few months? When was the last time I saw you?"

"In July, I'm here too, sitting for three hours, waiting for someone."

"Who are you waiting for?" Luo Minghan asked.

"Then we don't know." The villagers sneered, "I have been looking at the road into the village, no matter how hard Yujuan can't pull it back."

Yujuan is my aunt's name.

"Who was the guest at Yujuan's house last year?" The villagers raised their signs and urged, "Hey Yuxiang, are you alright? Grab a beer and slow down!"

Another person laughed: "The ones from last year and this year are all the ones in front of you!"

Everyone looked up at Luo Minghan and said with a smile, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Luo Minghan hooked his lips, and took the dozen of beer sealed with plastic film.

He thought, this is just a coincidence, how could Miao Cun remember to wait for him?He should have forgotten him long ago.

Back in the yard, the ice cream had just been dug to the bottom, Miao Cun wiped his hands casually, and was about to paint.

"Wait." Luo Minghan stopped him, took his hands, and reached under the water pipe.This is groundwater, the water flow is very thin, there is no switch and it flows all day long, my aunt was afraid of wasting it, so she got a yellow plastic basin to catch it.Luo Minghan dipped his hands into the water basin, the water was clear, and when the sun shone, it shook like the glass candy wrappers when he was a child.

"Wash your hands first after eating." Luo Minghan raised the tip of his palm, "You don't think it's sticky either."

"I know, I'm not a child."

"Then what are you?"

"A centenarian who doesn't pay attention to hygiene."

Luo Minghan was choked by him, and asked in a good voice: "Then who am I?"

"Brother Luo Yuanhe."

Miao Cun asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me? I can beat people."

"Because I love you."

"I don't understand love." Miao Cun took his hand out of his palm, wet: "It's finished."

"I'll understand later."

"I'm a little monster who doesn't know how to love. Whoever falls in love with me will be unlucky forever." Miao Cun said as if reciting.

These words sound familiar.Luo Minghan stared blankly, his fingertips were numb with pain: "Who told you?" He took Miao Cun's arm and gritted his teeth in a low voice: "Don't listen to his nonsense."

"I'm a little monster who doesn't know how to love. Whoever falls in love with me will be unlucky forever." Miao Cun said as if reciting.

"I'm a little monster who doesn't know how to love. Whoever falls in love with me will be unlucky forever." Miao Cun said as if reciting, and turned to walk towards the easel.The wind blew up his T-shirt, and the rabbit hopped twice, but it was not afraid of him.Miao Cun squatted down, touched the rabbit's head, and said to himself, "Soft is love."

He sat upright in front of the easel again, scraped off the half-dried paint from the paint tray, and started to color again.

Luo Minghan stood there looking at his back and the painting.

It was a landscape that Miao Cun started to paint a few days ago. There are rivers, ice, and faint mist. Light blue is the color of the northern winter morning.Luo Minghan was standing far away at the moment, watching Miao Cun paint a few black shadows by the river, like a few people with padded jacket sleeves, standing next to each other, panting, shrinking their necks, like quails.

He was stunned in disbelief—the canal in winter, the cracked ice row under the spring flood—that was the scenery in Miao Cun's heart.