intellectual norms

Lin Zhihua was more drunk than Qiao Yu last night. When Qiao Yu arrived, he had just woken up and was yawning and washing up in his nightgown. When he opened the door with a toothbrush in his mouth, he was startled when he saw Qiao Yu.

This was the first time Qiao Yu came to him on his own initiative.

He hurriedly rinsed his mouth and washed his face. The person who was used to tidying himself up neatly didn't care about his appearance this time, with water still dripping from his hair and face, he hurried to the room to cling to Qiao Yu.

Qiao Yu pushed him away, went to the bathroom and took a clean towel and handed it over: "Wipe it, it's winter, be careful of catching a cold."

Lin Zhihua seemed to be still drunk, took the towel, arched his whole body on Qiao Yu's shoulders, and said vaguely: "You used to wipe it for me."

Qiao Yu showed no expression, and chose to ignore it directly. He walked to the single sofa in front of the window, moved the pile of debris, sat on it, and said simply and simply: "Wipe yourself, you are not a child anymore."

Lin Zhihua had no choice but to wrap his head and face with a towel and rub it violently a few times, as if venting, and then sat on the side of the bed with messy hair, and looked at Qiao Yu face to face, "Okay."

"It's getting late, let me order a meal for you first, and I'll eat in the room in a while, it's too late to go out to eat." Qiao Yu looked at the time and said.

Lin Zhihua grinned: "You can arrange it, don't worry, it won't delay your itinerary plan." After finishing speaking, he lazily got up to change clothes and pack his luggage.

The temperature of the central air conditioner in the room was very high. Qiao Yu took off his coat and put it aside, called the hotel to order a meal, and looked up to see Lin Zhihua stripped naked, looking for clothes in the closet.

Subconsciously, he looked away and looked down at the phone.

There is a carpet in the room, Lin Zhihua didn't even wear slippers, and only a pair of low-waisted black boxer briefs covered his round buttocks and tight waist.

Picking and picking in the closet for a long time, as if he didn't know what to wear, and then walked towards Qiao Yu with several hangers: "Which one do you think I should wear?"

Qiao Yu raised his eyelids slightly, and saw the two clean and slender legs standing in front of him from bottom to top. Lin Zhihua has always attached great importance to appearance and never neglected to exercise. His legs are long and straight, with well-proportioned and fit muscles , Qiao Yu glanced at the hangers and the hem of the clothes shaking in front of him with lowered eyes, and said, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter."

"There is a difference!" Lin Zhihua took out one of the shirts and pointed it in front of his eyes: "You bought this one for me, did you forget?"

Qiao Yu really couldn't stand him being so deliberately and unreasonably troublesome, so he snapped back and said, "Then this one will be fine."

The noisy person in front of him paused for a moment, threw the other clothes in his hand back, held the shirt close to Qiao Yu, and said provocatively, "What are you afraid of? You haven't seen me, why are you hiding now?" , dare not look at it?"

Qiao Yu kicked the phone back into his pocket, raised his head to meet Lin Zhihua's gaze, said calmly and indifferently, "I didn't dare, I just felt inappropriate, I respect you."

"Who wants your respect!" Before Qiao Yu could finish speaking, Lin Zhihua suddenly roared angrily, threw away the shirt in his hand, and just stood in front of Qiao Yu, leaning on the armrest of the sofa with both hands, looking down at him aggressively .

Qiao Yu looked at him calmly, seeing the anger in those eyes, Lin Zhihua's chest rose and fell, Qiao Yu gently pushed one of his arms away, bent down to pick up the shirt from the ground, and put it on the other person, The movements are slow and gentle.

In an instant, Lin Zhihua's scale-like emotions all over his body were calmed down a lot. Qiao Yu got up, pushed him to sit on the sofa, put on his shirt, buttoned the top two buttons, and turned around to bring him a matching suit. The thin woolen trousers, said: "This should be able to be set up."

"Hmm." Lin Zhihua softened his whole body with a smile on the corner of his mouth.

After he was fully dressed, Qiao Yu said, "Zhihua, I have something to tell you."

His expression was still calm, even gentle, but extremely serious, so serious that there was a trace of hardness coming out.

A strange feeling rose in Lin Zhihua's heart. He tried to smile easily, but found it was impossible. Ever since Qiao Yu said this, the room was gradually shrouded in a serious atmosphere. He couldn't break free and couldn't change it. As if being held down by a pair of invisible hands all over her body, she could only listen quietly.

"When we first broke up, I did try to start over with you." Qiao Yu opened his mouth slowly.

Lin Zhihua's heart throbbed for a while. Of course he remembered that one night two months after the breakup, Qiao Yu came to him with a haggard face and asked if he could start over. He would take care of the problems between them.

But at that time, he refused, and he was decisive without leaving any room. Lin Zhihua remembered now that he just wanted to travel back in time and space to give himself two punches.

"In those two months, I thought a lot. About the problems between me and you, I probably thought more than the nine years we have been together. I remember everything you said. Thinking about it a little bit, I feel You are right."

"You said that I never seem to get angry, always restrained and calm, and suffocate you. Maybe it's my nature, or maybe it's my view of love, which leads me to use a way of getting along that I think is right, but makes you uncomfortable. , and the worst thing is that we have never seriously discussed this in such a long time, let it build up a little bit, and finally explode."

"Of course, the problems between us are far more than that. I'm not here today to find out how many problems there are between us, how many mistakes you made, how many mistakes I made, and what problems brought us to where we are now. , Everything in the past has passed, I came here to tell you what I think at this moment, now."

It was so hot in the room, but Lin Zhihua felt a little cold all over his body, like a chill rising from the bottom of his heart. Some words don't need to be said, the result can be predicted from the body language. Qiao Yu's attitude towards himself these days, Lin Zhihua no matter how No matter how confident he is, he is not a fool, he knows what Qiao Yu thinks.

It's just that he doesn't want to believe it, and he can't believe it.

But now it's time for the final showdown, and he suddenly regrets traveling all the way here, as if it wasn't until this moment that he really broke up.

Pain oozes from the cracks in the bones.

Qiao Yu continued: "Zhihua, do you remember when we first met? We were not lovers at that time, you were as eye-catching as if you were shining all over your body, you took the initiative to treat me well, and told me that I was in that strange place. How to deal with the environment, I was thinking at that time, this boy is so dazzling, how can he still treat me so well, you are active and kind, take me to find classrooms, find cafeterias, take me to see exhibitions outside, introduce me to various You, your teacher, your friend, let me quickly integrate into Columbia University and this strange city of New York, which I will never forget.”

Lin Zhihua didn't say anything, he remembered that his eyes were red.

"I admit that I was deeply attracted by you." Qiao Yu said, looking at the other party calmly and calmly, Lin Zhihua's eyes filled with tears.

"No matter what kind of result we have in the end, I don't regret being with you. Those nine years were very important nine years in my life. I feel very lucky to be with you. Not everything is Defined by results, even if we break up, those nine years are still good, are you right?"

Lin Zhihua's tears fell down, and he didn't bother to wipe them off.

Of course it was good, but it was so late when he realized this, everything that he couldn't wait to get rid of, only after he lost it completely did he see the true face clearly.

Warm and serene, it is a light to go home that is always lit in my heart.

But the light is now out.

Having said that, Qiao Yu's emotions also had ups and downs, and his eyes were slightly red. They looked at each other, the two people they knew, and now they are speechless.

The hotel doorbell suddenly rang a few times, and the food delivery came. Lin Zhihua's whole body remained motionless like a sculpture. Qiao Yu wiped his face and got up to open the door, and pushed the dining car in.

The food he ordered was rich, and Lin Zhihua loved it, but now he has no appetite at all. He looked at Qiao Yu: "You still have something to say, don't you, finish it."

"Zhihua, I may not be as calm and strong as you imagined. After breaking up, I persuaded myself to move forward, and it took a lot of effort not to miss the past. Maybe we have fallen into a habit of getting along too much in those years. mode, until after the breakup, I thought maybe breaking up was right, I tried to understand your feeling of wanting to take a breath, and tried to move myself forward, so I wanted to change the environment, and the decision to return to China was at that time set."

"You also know that I am not an impulsive person. I made such a big decision. The breakup with you may be part of the reason, but this is just an introduction, not the root cause. After I come back, I actually have no absolute idea about building a new life My self-confidence is more of letting nature take its course, but I gradually discovered that maybe because I am a person here after all, the longer I come back, the stronger the sense of fulfillment in my hometown, and at this time I realized that it is right to come back.”

Lin Zhihua looked at him, and finally opened his mouth: "You want to say that you already have a new life here, work, leadership, students, friends...including your lover?"

Qiao Yu looked at him for a long time, then nodded: "Yes."

Lin Zhihua closed his eyes, tears fell like waterfalls, completely out of control.

"Zhihua, in fact, when I knew you were coming, I thought about it a lot again, whether it was feelings or reality. I found that the biggest problem is not the conflicts and problems we had before, nor is it that if I talk to you again Reconciliation, the question of whether to go back to the United States, no matter how big or difficult the problem is, as long as the two people are still in love, everything can be resolved."

"There is only one problem between us."

Lin Zhihua was trembling all over, staring at Qiao Yu with red eyes, while Qiao Yu had a calm face, touched his lips, and said, "Zhihua, I don't love you anymore."