[HP] The Order of the Phoenix Family

He asked Fudge to come to the paper, really for the crossword puzzle.

Well, and to see the shocked expression of the Minister of Magic.That funny dumpy, well-dressed guy, condescendingly inspecting the cell in Azkaban with the newspaper in his hand like it was some sort of breakfast event.In order to receive the minister, all the dementors in Azkaban were withdrawn far away. It was rare to relax, and Sirius' nerve in charge of pranks was loosened.

...so he reaped the consequences.

While scolding himself for being cheap, Sirius stretched his body again and touched the ball of paper.He'd just balled it up for the fifth time, and now he's unrolling it for the fifth time, and there's still the picture, a bunch of redheads giggling at the camera; there's still Peter, sprawling over Ron Weasley's shoulders .He poked his finger at the photo, and the camera zoomed in, not close enough to observe a mouse, but close enough for Sirius to recognize an old friend.

This is not Peter.It's just a mouse that just happens to look like Peter's Animagi.However, Peter's Animaji image is not some rare breed of rat, otherwise he would have been recognized when gathering information for the Order of the Phoenix (and Voldemort).Peter became an ordinary gutter-crawling mouse, not much different from all the mice in the world.This is not Peter.

But it is missing a toe, the front foot, if it is human, it should be an index finger.The finger fell at his feet.And the color of the hair, the shape, the way it lay on the boy's shoulders.He won't admit it.

Ron and Harry are in the same grade in the same school, and are rumored to be good friends.They must have lived in the same dormitory, the traitor who had betrayed James, slept next to Harry, and knew everything about Harry.

But so what?He wouldn't hurt Harry, he had no reason to.Wormtail is a coward, he wouldn't even bat an eye when he betrayed Harry to Voldemort, but now there is no Voldemort, he is eating and drinking in front of his mouse, what reason does he have to harm Harry and drive himself into corners again ?What good would that do him?

Admit it.

Sirius stared at the newspaper, as if trying to burn a hole in it with his mind.

You're stuck here because you've finally pinpointed where Wormtail is, and you're thinking you know where he is, and if someone can catch him, then—then—

You are free.

Sirius crumpled up the newspaper for the sixth time. He wanted to throw it outside the cell, but it bounced off the bars and fell to the corner.A silent, obtrusive reminder.

To this day, what freedom do you expect?

What is freedom?Sunshine, flying motorcycles, laughter, everywhere in the world, into anyone's life.Freedom is the world that has already gone outside, no one remembers you, no one trusts you.

No one is waiting for you anymore.

He curled up on the bed, and the dementors returned, along with his tremors.It didn't matter, superfluous thoughts would be sucked out of his mind soon, leaving only coldness and despair, and a little hope for the dawn.The lucky ones will die soon after being imprisoned in Azkaban, but those who survived for half a year, like him, probably won't die.They can't die, but they can't continue to be humans. People will stand up from the mud, change clothes and take a bath; while they soak in the mud, they also find some weird fun.

The paper had a crossword puzzle, a picture of Peter, and the date.Sirius had been in prison for 12 years, and there was nothing he couldn't handle in Azkaban.He could turn into a dog to get through the worst nights, bribe the guards to get him booze and cigarettes, and keep the new kid's ass from the cell bosses.He has a reputation for killing people like hemp, and not many people in this place will provoke him.

And to the outside?He is nothing outside, he is not a murderer anymore, he is just a middle-aged man who has accomplished nothing, dragging his battered body full of holes, and has no relatives.It's pointless, leaving Azkaban is nothing more than changing to a bigger prison without dementors - fighting dementors can make his life less boring anyway.As an innocent person here, he can be proud of his sanity, that he is not a scum like the people around him, but there are innocent people everywhere outside, there is never a shortage of innocent people in the world, and he is a sinner among them, is a piece of crap.What was the point of his sanity if he no longer had to struggle to keep it?

Come on, he thought.Take away these goddamn thoughts, take away hope, hope is the most fucking useless and most fucking hurtful.Had he no hope?Didn't he ever believe that anyone would trust him?Didn't it occur to him that anyone would think Sirius Black wasn't a Death Eater, cover his case, or at least meet him?Hadn't he figured out how to get rid of such a person because he wanted to stay and atone for James?

The ridiculous thing is that he typed at least three kinds of belly drafts, and they all rotted in his stomach.Nobody showed up, not a single one.Sirius didn't expect to overturn the case. He knew what ironclad evidence was. He just thought that some people might feel something was wrong.Perhaps one of those companions he had been with in life and death, among the ancestors he followed, took the trouble to understand him.

No.The only person who would do that for him was Jaime, and Jaime was dead.

Why the fuck is he still alive?

The dementor stopped in front of his cell, the chill piercing his bones, and Sirius gradually couldn't breathe, but he wouldn't turn into a dog.If he was going to die because of it, so be it.Nobody needs you.No one trusts you.No one is waiting for you.James is dead.died.died.

You know what he died of.

Sirius snapped his eyes open, and he saw the blurred shadow of the dementor in the darkness, with its rotting hand reaching through the bars.He really wanted to go there and let it suck his soul out, and without the soul, without the stubborn fire burning in his brain, he wouldn't have to think about anything.But now someone had fueled and poured oil on that kindling, and it was so hot that he backed away and breathed in the frozen air.

No one can kill his friend without paying a price.Voldemort was dead, he rotted in Azkaban, and Peter got away with it, and that would never be tolerated.He's going to find Peter, kill Peter, that's what he's going to do.He wants to drag James' murderer to hell, and he will never be reborn forever.

Then maybe, he'll take a look at James' son.The kid was probably very similar to him.

Sirius picked up the roll of newspaper, flattened it for the sixth time, folded it neatly, and put it in his arms.

The dementor swayed in bewilderment, unable to find its emotionally emanating victim.A large dog appeared in the cell and lay down slowly, gathering strength.

It was thin, so thin that it could slip through the cracks in the bars.

(End of the article)