[HP] The Order of the Phoenix Family

"It's a dog, you're fucking kidding me." Sirius said, and Professor McGonagall gave him a look of extreme disapproval.

"Sorry, Professor." Sirius resumed, "but when I agreed to join the Order of the Phoenix again, I didn't realize that I was going to join the zoo of the same name."

Four curious and trembling children huddled beside him, and in the surrounding living room, a rabbit was rubbing against a wolf, a pair of chickens were running and jumping, two monkeys climbed up the chandelier, and a wild boar was walking back and forth under the trash can. , a lynx builds its hunting territory out of chairs and torn rugs.The golden and red phoenix flew in a circle, and precisely stopped on the forearm of the homeowner when he waved his arm in collapse and gestured at this absurd scene. Sirius froze, and found it in disbelief that it was using itself as a perch, and stood up and combed. feather.Harry watched in awe as Ron and Hermione took a small breath.

"...sir." He stared at the big bird, "I bet you can change back to human form by yourself."

"Then I suggest you don't bet too much." McGonagall said, handing him a box, "I'm not sure how much human consciousness they still have, it's better to treat them as animals worthy of respect. Make sure the animals don't slip away Come into the conference room, and I'll study the remnants of George and Fred's new invention down below. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to work on minors."

"Thank goodness?" Sirius repeated. "I'm babysiting four kids and a bunch of animals now! There's no such torture in Azkaban!"

"Then imagine a gun that can turn minors into animals explodes in the Gryffindor common room." McGonagall's tone was stern, but Sirius dared to say that the corners of her mouth were raised, "I'm sorry to say that, Sirius, but you're better than me."

"We're not kids anymore, we can help!" Ginny protested, "You were still feeding Buckbeak when Hermione informed Professor McGonagall!"

"Thank you for reminding me that there is another animal in this room, oh no, wait, I remembered, there are still Crookshanks and three owls living upstairs." Sirius said dryly, "I'll be there I stayed in the attic for half an hour, and when I came back, I had to face this, and feeding Buckbeak was the thing I regretted the most this month."

The phoenix chirped twice, shaking its luxurious tail feathers, which made Sirius want to pluck two tail hairs to make a wand.He had one arm occupied, so he could only hold the box with one hand and hand it to Harry, so that the godson could reveal what ghosts and ghosts it contained.

"I think it's Severus," said McGonagall, as Harry lifted the lid to reveal what was inside - a hedgehog.

"Snape?" Ron and Harry exclaimed at the same time, and the hedgehog slid to the corner of the box because of Sirius's crooked hold, curled up, exploded with spines, and turned into an angry and thorny ball.

"Oh, this..." Hermione hesitated.

"It's so cute." Ginny's expression ranged between fondness and fright.

"I guess I should laugh about it, but I'll save it for later." Sirius handed the hedgehog box to the girls. "Now, try to survive."

The wild boar has already pierced a hole in the trash can, knocked off the fruit plate on the coffee table and started eating apples.Sirius slacked off, snatched the rabbit, pulled the long-eared creature out and stuffed it into Ron's arms, and then placed a transparent barrier between the two chickens that were getting closer, making them cluck and cluck.The chandelier rattled and crumbled, and he cast a strengthening spell on the thing, lengthening the metal branches to give the monkeys more room.

"Uh, uh, I mean, we need to figure out who that is, right?" said Ron unashamedly. "The monkeys must be George and Fred, and the two... chickens, well, it's Daddy and Mother?"

He paused in shock at his own words, and Harry continued, "That wolf is Remus, we've seen it."

Hermione nodded in agreement, and said, "The lynx is missing a leg, and with all the scars, it must be Mad-Eye."

"I think the rabbit is Tonks," said Ginny. "It's a bit pink and likes wolves so much."

"The wild boar is Kingsley." Ron grabbed the rabbit and took half a step back in fear when the wild boar turned to this side.

Mag sealed the portrait at the door in time, and Sirius chanted a multiplication spell on the fruit in front of the wild boar, and it groaned and ate again.

"Bill said he's on leave and will be here soon," she said, and Sirius nodded.

"Okay, assignment," he said, "while Minerva worked out how to turn them back, Ron was in charge of the chickens—"

"What???" Ron yelled, "You can't ask me to stay with parents like that! I'm going to have a heart attack!"

"—be careful not to let them get too close, I don't want to fucking think about what to do with Molly's eggs in this situation." Sirius didn't seem to hear, "It's the easiest job, boy. "

Ron's mouth was open enough to fit a whole egg, and the phrase "Molly's eggs" made him unable to complete sentences for a while, and the other children were not much better.

"Harry is in charge of the lynx. I think Alastor is taking good care of himself. You can bring him some meat later so that he won't hunt other animals."

"And what if Moody teaches—I mean, the lynx bites me?" Harry asked weakly.

"Scream loudly." Sirius patted his godson on the shoulder, "I will try my best to come over and save you."

Harry: "..."

"Ginny takes care of the hedgehogs and rabbits, and you take them to the master bedroom later, shut Tonks up, and God knows if Remus will find her delicious and eat her - forget that sentence. Well, the kitchen has lettuce and Carrots, I don’t know what hedgehogs eat, just let them stay in the box, and they shouldn’t starve to death in a while.”

"All kinds of beetles are basically fine..." Hermione gave the correct answer subconsciously, and then choked on the matter of "feeding Professor Snape to eat bugs", "...well, fruit is also fine."

Ginny happily took the rabbit from Ron and held it down to keep it from jumping towards the wolf.

"Hermione completes the fireproof spell here, and don't let Professor Dumbledore burn the house down." He continued, and Hermione nodded vigorously, obviously relieved, "Let the phoenix fly as he wants, and go after you're done." Give Ginny a helping hand, like catch some bugs for Snape, I don't think there's any shortage of bugs here."

Hermione didn't finish her nodding at once, almost hitting her neck.

"Bill the monkeys, he'd better hurry up."

Bill didn't seem to be able to protest, but Ron, who was staring at the pair of chickens in horror, would be more than happy to trade him.

"As for me, it's my responsibility not to be killed by wolves or burrowed by wild boars," he said at last. "Anyone want to change me?"

not at all.

Hermione thoughtfully carried the box and went upstairs with Ginny to settle the hedgehogs and rabbits, then went downstairs to bring up all the food that could be eaten by the animals in the refrigerator, and began to cast spells.During this period, Mag and Sirius turned all the furniture in the living room into the size of a palm, and then cast the No Trace Expansion Charm to make room barely enough to accommodate lynx, wild boar, and wolf at the same time.When Bill arrived, he readily accepted the task of guarding the monkeys, ordered an expedited banana delivery with Hedwig on the spot, and promised others that he would try his best to make Fred and George's last time as peaceful and pleasant as possible—because Molly would definitely be happy after recovering. will kill them.Sirius stopped him and added fifty pounds of nuts for the boar to the order.

Ron didn't dare to use spells, and dragged Harry timidly to grab the chicken for a long time, and finally caught one, but because Arthur's chicken pulled shit on his feet, the success fell short.In the end, Phoenix performed a precise dive, grabbed the chicken wings and threw them into the two cages made by Professor McGonagall.

"I'm sorry, Dad, Mom..." Ron murmured, "I'm going to let you out right away, I didn't mean to - oops!"

Molly pecked his finger hard.

"Kill me." Ron carefully avoided the angry chicken beak, and moved the chicken coop to the balcony without tears. "I'd rather fight the mysterious man, I mean it."

"It might help to give them names, not human terms," ​​suggested Sirius.

Although it is not known whether the animals have human consciousness, it is certain that they retain a part of human personality. For example, the Remus wolf has been quietly watching by the wall; the Kingsley pig is also very stable, even though it eats constantly , did not mean to punch holes in the wall or Sirius; Phoenix helped Harry roast the meat and feed it to the lynx, making people wonder what Dumbledore and Fox did when they were locked in the office; The Moody lynx is more troublesome. During the process of feeding Harry, everyone and every animal are startled.

Hermione reported that Snape the hedgehog didn't like fruit, so she and Ginny tried a dried beetle that no one would eat but would not be poisoned if eaten, and the hedgehog ate it very well. Incense, and hedgehog urine are the most stinky things they have ever smelled in their lives.

"Professor Snape will knock off the bottom of the Gryffindor hourglass when he transforms back." Hermione said sadly.

"Take some photos of him." Sirius swallowed back the rest of his laughter, and suggested, "Threate him to deduct too many points, and throw a large stack of photos with the words 'Professor Snape's inner beauty' from the tower window." .”

Professor McGonagall made tea, made some sandwiches out of the leftovers, and brought back word from Bill that the monkeys were very happy, but that one of the rooms would be unoccupied for a short time.According to the Transfiguration Professor's research, the effect of Weasley's new product is expected to be eliminated at night, and Ron suggests that they rehearse the twins' funeral first.

Before that, though, there was one problem to be solved: Crookshanks sauntered down the stairs with his tail cocked, jumped into his usual armchair, and ended up clawing at the territorial Moody lynx.

It's going to be a long day.