Fool's Love

My mind is like a black and gloomy shadow that cannot hide under the white moonlight.

Masumi himself was completely unaware of these changes in my psychology, and he still freely communicated with me about painting problems.I started having stomach pains from time to time.

That feeling is close to the feeling of thinking about the meaning of life, death, and the outside of the universe when there is no one in the middle of the night, like being thrown into ice water suddenly, or in deep space, when the traction rope connecting yourself and the spaceship is broken ——

A sense of powerlessness caused by uncertainty surrounds me—and it all stems from my ignorance of Masumi's feelings.

How much sincerity is there in his smile?If yes, how many?

I can't escape my thoughts.When I start thinking about these things, even Masumi's smile seems to be a painful element.

These complicated thoughts finally affected me, and the intuitive performance is that my painting speed is obviously much slower.

When Miami came back from Tokyo and checked my manuscript as usual, she frowned unconsciously.

"The progress in the past two weeks seems to have slowed down a lot. If this continues, we won't be able to keep up with the summer exhibition."

What she said was true.There are only more than two months before the exhibition, and the time required for the final and post-stage typesetting is even more urgent.

And I'm not even halfway through the original draft of this manga.

This made me fall into a vicious circle: my mental state was not good, which greatly reduced my work efficiency;

Drawing too slowly and not being able to meet the deadlines made me feel stressed, further torturing my spirit.

Inadvertently, I attributed the source of all my suffering to Masumi.His tenderness and kindness made me angry.

At the same time, I clearly realized that my psychology is like a dark and gloomy shadow that cannot hide under the bright moonlight.

I was in a pretty bad state of mind during that time.Before going to bed, my mind is always churning with unpleasant memories.

One night, I suddenly remembered the experience of passing by the Gibbon Theater before, and turned over and sat up.

It was a comic group called "Wharf Salmon", and the group has been around for ten years.

The one who pretended to be stupid was a bald and shiny uncle, while the one who complained was an elite-looking man wearing glasses.

The basic skills of the two are very solid, and the pauses in their speech seem old-fashioned, which sounds very comfortable, but the subject matter of manga is usually very novel.

I flipped through their twitter, and happened to see that they were still performing at the last theater two weeks later.

I immediately regained my energy and planned to go to the theater to watch the comics to relax.

There is a saying that pain is not completely a side effect of creation, even the pain I am moaning for nothing now——

While the progress of "S?D?R", which I collaborated with Mikai, was stuck, I began to have my own story in my mind-a story about an idol and his fanatical fans.

On the other hand, Sasaki talked to me more often because of the previous department activities.

She was the kind of person who was slightly sullen with strangers, but open with acquaintances.

Sasaki works carefully and has a high enthusiasm for manga.If I was not drawing BL comics, I would say in my heart, "This kid, maybe I can call over to help post the outlets."

"I went to "Wanghexuan" to eat before, so it was your restaurant. "

I said yes, in a feeble voice.

I took a piece of paper out of my pocket and blew my nose.Histamine medications are effective for allergies, but they don't cure them and can cause drowsiness.

During department activity time, I dazedly drew something on paper.There are three big mountains on my head: studies, manga, and Masumi.When Sasaki spoke to me, I answered almost instinctively.

"I like the dumplings there. But the mapo tofu is a bit too spicy, although it's delicious. I ate it once and it was so spicy that I cried."

"That's my family's specialty. Sometimes my mother will try unmodified flavors—it's a bit difficult to adapt to Wanghexuan's taste, but I promise it's the original flavor."

The idea of ​​improving the taste came about because a young Chinese was hired in the store.

She came to Japan to study abroad as a part-time job.Once after closing time, she inadvertently talked about the difference in taste between China and Japan.She only thought it was a topic of leisure time, but my mother listened to it.

"Is Masumi's house near the store?"

"No. No, "nearby" should be considered.It takes almost half an hour to walk, but it is very fast by motorbike.Come out of the store, go right, go down the main road..."

I casually described the way of walking to Sasaki, and the way of life in my hand didn't stop.I am drawing an idol, the protagonist of the stories that come to my mind before going to bed during this time.

That was a woman who had been an idol. For a period of time before the story started, she had been troubled by the relationship between men and women.

"My house is near there. How can there be such a coincidence!"

After listening to my narration, Sasaki suddenly opened his eyes wide.

"is it?"

"Well. Although it's a few minutes away, it's roughly in that area."

she says.Fortunately, she didn't go further and say something like "I want to visit your house sometime", which would be very troublesome-I still have some reservations about letting girls into the room.

"Who are you drawing? It looks a bit like Masumi-san."

I was taken aback by Sasaki's words: "No, this is an original character. And I drew a woman." I quickly denied it. "Where does it look like?"

"The feeling of smiling." She replied, "Although the degree of similarity is not high from the face, it feels a bit similar."

Her words confused me.I think I didn't refer to the character of Masumi, and the resemblance to Masumi is probably just Sasaki's illusion.

Or maybe it was because I was thinking about Masumi unintentionally, and the characters in my writing took his shadow-I can't deny this possibility.

What is Masumi doing now?He was absent from this department activity because of extracurricular activities.In those days, my relationship with Masumi also became a little bit estranged.

I told him on LINE that things will be busy recently, this is not a lie, I am indeed rushing to write manuscripts day and night.

To a certain extent, I have adapted to living at a greater distance from Masumi.Maybe that's for the best.

-

-I want to climb Mt. Yanwei on the weekend afternoon.Do you want to go with Yamagishi?

-want;

After receiving the invitation from Masumi LINE, I immediately agreed to him.

I would like to state in advance that the reason why I agreed to his invitation is entirely because I have this idea myself. I feel that the pressure has been too much recently and I need to take time to relax.

It's definitely not inspired by the atmosphere in his words, and he agreed as soon as he became interested-it's definitely not like this.

Speaking of which, what should I wear?While humming a song, I used my hands to push aside all kinds of clothes hanging in the closet.shirt?Sportswear?It's better to dress better, that's a windbreaker.

Camel trench coat, white shirt – plus a brand new pair of black Skechers.Need to bring something extra?

Mobile phones, drinking water, tissues - these are the necessities.Maybe I should have band-aids and povidone iodine too—

When two people who are not good at sports get together, I really don't know what will happen.Of course, the most important thing is to have a good rest the night before to ensure sufficient vitality.