The world doesn't fit me

Lu Chen saw real blood flowing like a river.

Everything around him was still at this moment, only the sound of his accelerated heartbeat remained in his ears, as if he was about to crush the entire atrium and rush out of his chest.

This long-lost feeling of heartbeat actually made Fu Yanchuan regain the memories of his school days long ago.

At that time, he was so easily tempted, and the other party's occasional actions could make him feel satisfied and sweet.

And it was even more so for Lu Chen now.

There was a layer of sweater on the back of his neck, but Fu Yanchuan seemed to feel the warmth of his opponent's arm.

"it is good."

His Adam's apple rolled, and he heard his voice slightly hoarse because of emotion.Fu Yanchuan wrapped his arms around Lu Chen's knees, and hugged him horizontally in front of the others.

Shen Yulou next to her was still loathing herself, and was so frightened by this sudden and unabashed hug from the princess that she lost her voice on the spot.

He twirled his tongue a few times in his mouth, suddenly remembered something and immediately stood up, took off his coat to cover Lu Chen.

After all, it is very cold outside, so a sweater is not enough.

Fu Yanchuan saw his actions in his eyes, without rejection or disgust, quietly said thank you after seeing him finish the action, and then walked out the door with the confused Lu Chen in his arms.

At that moment, Shen Yulou breathed a sigh of relief.

It turned out they were just brothers.

He thought that the person he liked turned into a sister in an instant, so it seemed too much to worry about.

Lu Chen was really light, and Fu Yanchuan felt that he could easily hold him in his arms without using much force.

I thought that Lu Chen would be surprised by his behavior just now, and he screamed and resisted and pushed away, but he was very obedient when he was drunk, hugging his neck without saying a word, and buried his head in his chest. He took a comfortable position and arched meekly.

It's just that a tall and long-legged man is hugged by another man, the princess, which is somewhat eye-catching.

The men who were about to become immortals in the private rooms that Fu Yanchuan saw before frightened off the cigarette butts, choked in his throat, and couldn't help coughing crazily.

A few people who were toasting had just touched their glasses, and they didn't stop to splash each other after seeing the two, and now they are hurriedly wiping the liquid from the neckline.

Fu Yanchuan ignored them, feeling a itch in his chest, and the person in his arms was saying something in Weng Sheng.But because the crowd was noisy and the voice was too low, he couldn't hear clearly.

So Fu Yanchuan stopped and lowered his head and asked, "What?"

Lu Chen slightly turned his head to reveal half of his eyes, and smiled brightly, "You smell so good."

After he finished speaking, he squinted his eyes and sniffed at Fu Yanchuan's chest, revealing only the silver-white earrings on his earlobe.

This kind of unconscious teasing made him suddenly want to put Lu Chen on the flower stand by the street and kiss him hard in front of passers-by.

But Fu Yanchuan didn't do that.

There was a soreness in his heart, all his thoughts were related to this person in his arms, but this person didn't know it.

The night was like ink, almost blending into Fu Yanchuan's gray coat.

He continued to walk forward, walked to the side of the car and carefully placed Lu Chen horizontally in the back seat, got into the driver's seat and drove to the rented house.

The shadows of the trees whirled, entangled with Fu Yanchuan's chaotic thoughts.

He slowed down the car and tried to drive as steadily as possible.

When he looked up in the rearview mirror, he accidentally caught a glimpse of the person behind him. Lu Chen curled up on the back seat, leaned sideways, and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead, trying to relieve his drowsiness.

Before, he just drank too much and vomited violently, but now that his stamina has picked up, and the car is shaking more or less, Lu Chen feels as if his head is about to be crushed severely, and his brains are twisted together uncontrollably.

Getting drunk is often just a moment of enjoyment, saying it is just to vent your sorrows, people always use rhetoric to cover up their cowardice.

After being drunk, I don't know that the sky is on the water, and the boat is full of dreams and the galaxy.

That is a glorified statement after all, the fact is that it will be a long time to fall into the torture of alcohol after that.

The dizziness made Lu Chen's consciousness begin to blur, his sanity finally faded, and the effects of alcohol began to occupy his entire brain.

He can finally stop caring what other people think, and all his outrageous behaviors can be attributed to alcohol.

In the silence, Fu Yanchuan heard the person behind him suddenly say: "I am 23 years old today."

The tone of that sentence was flat, but it was particularly abrupt in the silence.

Fu Yanchuan paused, regretting that he didn't know enough about Lu Chen: "Happy birthday."

As soon as the words fell, sobs came from the back seat, accompanied by soft sobs.

Lu Chen buried his head in the dark and quietly wiped away his tears, but the tears flowed out drop by drop, and he couldn't wipe them off.

He cried in despair, his shoulders couldn't stop shaking, and he made a hissing sound because he tried his best to suppress the desire to cry.

Fu Yanchuan's heart skipped a beat suddenly, and his chest was grabbed by Lu Chen's heartbroken crying.He parked the car to the side of the road and got out of the driver's seat with an ugly face.

Is it because no one remembers my birthday?

Fu Yanchuan thought.

Or is it because you are not with your parents after the Chinese New Year?

Is he under a lot of pressure recently?

What happened to him that I don't know about?

In the past few seconds, Fu Yanchuan had a lot of thoughts in his mind. He wanted to ask him a question, help him solve his difficulties, and make suggestions with him.

If you have something on your mind, just say it, he is willing to be Lu Chen's exclusive trash can, no matter how much it is.

There were so many things he wanted to ask himself, and even a little more greedy, he really wanted to know everything about Lu Chen.

The words were ready to come out, but Fu Yanchuan chose to stay silent with him, making Lu Chen cry happily for a while.

Lu Chen lay on his side and covered his wet eyes with his hands, while Fu Yanchuan sat on the side of his thighs, helped him smooth his hair, and carefully gathered the broken hair on his forehead that covered his eyes behind his ears.

The moment the other party's fingertips touched his own, tears began to flow out again like a flood gate being opened.

As if someone in the world finally understood him, Lu Chen's nose was sore, and the string he called strong was broken by reality. He suddenly felt so wronged, so wronged, and began to cry loudly.

The cry was a grief that Fu Yanchuan had never heard before. It was infinitely sad and sad, but there was nowhere to put it.

And at this moment, he had a way to vent—crying, so he used this primitive human physiological reaction to confide his heart to others like a scourge.

Fu Yanchuan was really distressed.

He had never seen the other party like this before, he just felt that Lu Chen's wanton crying was pulling his heart hard, his chest was throbbing, and he was indescribably depressed.

With endless wailing in his ears, Fu Yanchuan took out the paper from the car and gently wiped away his tears and snot.

Lu Chen leaned halfway, leaning his back against the car door, sobbing non-stop, and at the same time uttering a sentence intermittently: "I... I... killed them."

Sobbing and choking were mixed together, his throat was almost hoarse from crying, and his voice was harsh and dry.

Fu Yanchuan listened attentively, did not stop the movement of his hands, and even wiped away the tears on his cheeks with a paper.

It seemed that what Lu Chen said was just a harmless joke.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't take the other party's words seriously.

On the contrary, because the content was too shocking, Fu Yanchuan chose to reply with indifference, showing that he was indifferent, so that he had no grudges in his heart, and poured out all the things that were stuck in his chest.

"I... when I was born... I killed my mother."

The tears were almost dry, he calmed down, grabbed Fu Yanchuan's arm to support his body, "Do you know how small the probability of dying in childbirth was at that time? But my mother died after giving birth to me..."

Fu Yanchuan's expression froze. Their old Fu's family has been doctors for generations, and their mother is an obstetrics and gynecology nurse, so they not only know but also know very well.

Today, the mortality rate of dystocia is even less than [-]%, most of which are due to abnormal fetal deformities and other reasons, so babies are usually taken away.

But Lu Chen is now completely free of any defects. It can only be said that it is extremely unlucky for a pregnant woman to lose her life under such circumstances.

Lu Chen went on to say, "It's me who killed my mother. If it wasn't because of my birth, my mother wouldn't have died."

"Don't..."

"My dad must hate me to death, and I hate myself too."

He interrupted Fu Yanchuan, and he had the tendency to cry, "I look like my mother, and every time my father sees me, he will think of her. When I was young, I often saw him hiding in the room and crying secretly with a picture of my mother I feel really guilty for causing such a tall person to cry."

Lu Chen pressed his chest and said, "I thought it was over like this, and nothing worse would happen."

Fu Yanchuan's eyelids twitched, guessing that he would endure the pain and slowly uncover the scars on his body that had already clotted into scabs.

"At the age of four, the father of a child had a psychotic attack. He took a kitchen knife and went to the kindergarten to kill someone. My teacher was injured all over his body, blood was splashed everywhere, and the entire wall was stained red. I didn't dare to look at her, so I cried. I passed out, and then my dad took me to another school, and I never saw her again."

He seemed to be in the small classroom that was only a few dozen square meters 19 years ago.The cries of the children and the roars of the attackers were intertwined, and the teacher yelled frantically to run, protecting the group of children with his back.

Suddenly, a silver light appeared, and the knife was cut from her shoulder, and blood blossomed, and the blood flowed profusely.

Lu Chen raised his head in a daze, the corners of his eyes were warm, and his vision was blurred by bright red. He saw the teacher's lips were pale, his forehead was dripping with cold sweat, and his shoulders were bleeding profusely. Dissuading: "Run...run."

She pushed Xiao Lu Chen away with all her strength.

It was cold again, she sprained her leg and fell towards the door frame.Her thigh was cut with a kitchen knife, her trousers were dyed red, blood gushed out, and every wound was shocking.

Lu Chen was still very young at the time. He covered his mouth and shed tears while running. He cried until he fainted. He fell headfirst into the flower pot at the gate of the kindergarten. After that, he lost consciousness.

"It was also from then on that I suffered from blood sickness."

"At the age of six, my deskmate was kidnapped by human traffickers on the way to school, and his lower body was cut off because of his excessive resistance. He was still so young at that time, and I really can't imagine what he would do in the future, whether he would be punished for this. Squeeze out school violence, and even have the idea of ​​committing suicide."

"When I was eight years old, Qingmei, who grew up with me, got leukemia. She went abroad with her parents for medical treatment. There is no news until now."

That day the girl laughed like silver bells and played without any complaints. Everything was the same as before, but before going home, she suddenly stopped at the door, looked at him with the most innocent expression and said, "Mom said, I have leukemia, she cried so sadly, but I don't know why, brother Chen, do you know what kind of disease it is?"

"It seems to be a very serious illness." Lu Chen didn't understand, but had a vague premonition.

"Is that so." She seemed to understand a little bit, but she was still not quite clear. "Dad told me that tomorrow I will go abroad for medical treatment. What do you think it looks like abroad? Will it be much more beautiful than here?"

The girl looked forward to it, and began to fantasize about her future life abroad.

Thinking of this, Lu Chen felt even more uncomfortable.From Qingmei, he saw the hope of infinite life brought to her by her ignorance in the face of death.She knows nothing, yet suffers from the traumas of life.

He Weng said: "I still don't know whether she is dead or alive."

"At the age of 12, the bus I took after school was overloaded in rainy days, and when it was turning sharply, the tires spun at too high speed and couldn't hold the ground, and directly hit the row of cement trucks in front of me.

The bus overturned, the glass was completely shattered, blood flowed like a river on the road, more than [-] people were injured, and five people died before being rescued. One of them was the driver. I just made a good relationship with him some time ago. A car accident is all gone. "

There was a "bang" in the glass, and the cracks covered the window like a meridian, breaking everyone's peace of mind.

Immediately, two rows of car windows exploded, glass shards mixed with rainwater smashed in, and the eyes of the person at the window were pierced instantly, screaming and covering their eyes, two bloodstains were drawn on his face.

The bus fell to the ground, the heavy rain washed away wantonly, and blood spread endlessly to both sides of the road.

The smell of blood and actinomycetes rushed to the tip of Lu Chen's nose, and the crowd pressed him in a mess. He couldn't help retching, and the scenery he saw immediately made him dizzy with stars.

Lu Chen saw real blood flowing like a river.

The people in the car were wailing, the siren of the police car was honking in the distance, and the heavy rain was pouring, and one after another fell on him continuously. He felt so painful on his body, as if what fell was not rain, but sharp blades.

The scene in front of him became more and more blurred, and Lu Chen finally closed his eyes helplessly, resigned himself to his fate and passed out.

"I have witnessed countless deaths from diseases, and almost no one around me has had a good end. Social news often reports accidents related to me, but every time I avoid the camera and refuse to be interviewed, I am afraid that no one will want to associate with me."

"When I entered junior high school, everything around me began to go smoothly. I was admitted to the best middle school in C City, won many competition awards, won scholarships, and was admitted to the high school headquarters in the second year of junior high school. My dad At that time, I also directly sat in the top position of the company.”

"Do you know how happy I was in the three years of junior high school? I feel that God finally saw my pain, and was finally willing to show mercy and give me a little good.

Happiness that is cheap in the eyes of others is extremely precious to me.I take care of them like treasures in my arms, and I am so afraid that they will leave. I don't want to experience the feeling of not being able to hold happiness anymore. "

Listening to his description, Fu Yanchuan had a premonition that something bad was about to happen.

Sure enough, the corners of Lu Chen's eyes flickered again, and two lines of tears fell down his flushed face: "But God doesn't care about me at all."