Don't be sad behind my back

——Transfer——

Wen Shan sat on the side of the bed in pain, while Han Yi stood aside, sometimes knelt on one knee to wipe Wen Shan's tears, sometimes patted Wen Shan's shoulder, and then remained silent, as if indifferent.

"I haven't had a good day since I married into this family." Wen Shan choked up and said, "I get up early and work late every day, and when I get home, I have to wash and cook. Why should he live so comfortably, I will work hard to make money."

Speaking of this, Wen Shan couldn't help crying again, and her speech became intermittent due to sobbing: "He bullied me with the old lady, and I listened to them every day like a fool. When I got married, the bride price was one thousand, and one The monthly expenses are not enough, the married old lady asked for the money back, and lied to me that she was sick and needed to buy medicine, and she had no money, but in fact she was not sick at all, you didn’t see her cunning after getting the money Greedy eyes, I later realized that the old lady was just trying to do nothing.

After I got married, I thought, I can't let my children live in such a small house, so I bought a house with a loan and let my children live in a new home.result……"

Wen Shan was already crying bitterly at this time: "In the end, I paid off the mortgage for 15 years by myself, and Han Teng and the old lady just waited to enjoy the cool and enjoy the blessings. I was wronged, why didn't they do anything, Han Teng said that this is what I want to buy For the house, I will pay the mortgage. If he doesn't mention it, it won't count.

In the end, the names of me and Han Teng were written on this house, and the old lady also moved in, and even sold the original house, saying that she had no place to live so she could only live here. "

Wen Shan couldn't cry, the grievance and pain of more than ten years finally vented out.

"Han Yi, just a few days after giving birth to you, Han Teng beat you and wanted to sell you, mother can do nothing but blame herself and hate herself.

Once you cried at night, you were only two months old, and Han Teng came back from drinking and pointed at you with a kitchen knife to tell you to shut up, or he would cut you off. , he chopped me first, and the kitchen knife cut a big gash in my hand, and the blood flowed out. Han Teng was afraid and threw the knife away.

Later, that lunatic Han Teng beat you with a broom. Mom tried to stop her but couldn’t. You were beaten almost every day after only two or three months. The shadow left behind, when you were a child, you would be beaten when you cried, and you bit your lips to hold back your voice, so that your own mouth bleeds. Sometimes my mother can’t feel your presence at home because it’s too quiet.

But my mother was also beaten. Han Teng beat me as soon as he was instigated by the old lady. Once I called the police. The next day Han Teng went to my shop and smashed the shop. He beat me and scolded me in front of others. I took out the money from the cash register and tore it all up. I glued the banknotes together one by one that night.

That is the source of income for this family. How can you smash it and tear it up.I worked hard, didn't care about anything, and even ignored my son. I have been trying to influence Han Teng for so many years, and I still have feelings for him. I think that one day Han Teng will see how much I have paid, but it has been more than ten years. , I have persisted for more than ten years. This month, I thought that my efforts had finally paid off, but the result has not changed at all. He can say no to this restaurant, no to it, no to it, just turn around and eat and drink, that’s all It doesn't matter, what is this family to him, and what is I to him, even if he is an outsider, this is not the case.I was wrong just now, I shouldn't have hesitated, I shouldn't have been lucky, I should have left, I should have left a long time ago..."

Wen Shan is also a mother, and she used to love her children very much, but this love has long been consumed by the broken marriage.

She was running around all day, focusing on work and family, but Han Yi was missed.In the past, when Han Teng was violent at home, Wen Shan also felt sorry for Han Yi. Slowly, Wen Shan's thoughts developed to influence Han Teng, and she had to pay more for Han Teng to change.

For Wen Shan, Han Yi's suffering changed from a heart-piercing pain to a momentary slight stimulation. She was already numb, exhausted, gradually losing herself, gradually going to extremes, and had no time to care about Han Yi's growth. Work and family, these pains will disappear, and the so-called family is not a harmonious and happy family of three, but the devastated marriage of Wen Shan and Han Teng.

Han Yi's existence only stimulated Wen Shan to try his best to influence Han Teng.

The whole house was plunged into darkness and silence, only a faint yellow light leaked from the crack of a door, falling weakly on the floor, slightly elongated.

In the room, Wen Shan tried her best to control her emotions, pressed the corners of her eyes with a tissue, and then said: "Han Yi, you never had a birthday before you were six years old. You didn't even know your own birthday at that time, and you didn't even ask. You don't care if your mother wants to give you a birthday, you don't want it, you said you don't want to celebrate your birthday, your birth is not worth celebrating, my mother was heartbroken at the time, and later prepared a birthday cake for your sixth birthday, But I didn’t tell you that it’s your birthday. You asked your mother why the cake had candles on it. After your mother told you it was a birthday cake, you didn’t eat a bite. Later, Han Teng scolded me when he saw the cake when he came home. Money, the cake is eaten, I told him today is your son’s birthday, your son has never had a birthday, what’s wrong with buying a cake, he has never eaten a birthday cake. But Han Teng still threw the cake away, scolding I'm going to beat you again when I'm done wasting."

Han Yi finally made a move, he nodded silently, because Han Yi remembered.That day was my first birthday, the first time I saw a birthday cake with six candles, the cake was light blue, very similar to the color of the sky I like, the bottom of the cake was surrounded by white lace, and the top circle The cream flowers are also white, and there is a big red strawberry every few flowers, with white glaze on the side, and "happybirthday" written in light pink and white in the middle.

But this is also the first time that Han Yi hates his birthday so much.After Han Teng scolded Wen Shan, Xiao Han Yi listened to the approaching footsteps in the room, making a creepy and desperate sound like the scythe of death dragging on the ground, and he had nowhere to escape at this moment.

With a bang, the door was kicked open, hit the wall and bounced back, Han Teng rushed in and grabbed Xiao Han Yi's hair and dragged him from the bedroom to the living room, picked up the glass ashtray and threw it at Xiao Han Yi, Xiao Hanyi blocked it with his arm, the ash and cigarette butts scattered all over his body, and the ashtray hit his arm, leaving a bruise.

Han Teng was so angry that he bared his teeth and claws, the roots of his teeth were itchy, and he cursed bitterly, punching and kicking Han Yi with his hands and feet.

"You're so used to it! You want a cake for your birthday, who do you think you are? It's fucking awesome to have a birthday. If you're brave enough to ask for something, where did you learn it?!

explain! !Damn, you really know how to enjoy it. You can even eat cake on your birthday!

I am not as good at playing as you are on my birthday, did you learn the social tricks at the age of four or five? !Go out and brag!Eat you to death, your mother is a bitch, my mother, son of a bitch..."

Since then, I have never celebrated my birthday again, and I dare not do anything, let alone ask for anything. It seems that there is a tailor-made barbed wire tightly bound to my body. As long as I make any other movements, I will be recognized With crooked thoughts and rebellious thoughts, you will be beaten severely in the next second.

If you don't want to be beaten, you have to retract your limbs and curl up slowly, and the net is getting tighter and tighter.

Han Yi always wanted to forget that date, but because he often had to fill in forms and files in school, he had to remember it.

"It's fortunate that the old lady left. My life is finally easier. The old lady and her daughter owe money and have no capital. They treat me better and don't make things difficult for me. Han Teng has also changed a lot. Much more honest.

They know that they will have to rely on me in the future, Han Teng has no job and no pension insurance, and maybe he will have to clean up the old lady's mess in the future.

However, Han Yi, when I think about the relationship between husband and wife for more than ten years, I can't bear to leave Han Teng behind. Once divorced, he will definitely live on the streets if he doesn't find a job. How can he take him in with his virtue? In the past, he did some things, and this family also has his share, although there are very few... Han Yi, a family without a man really can't do it. "

Wen Shan's tone softened, as if hesitating, as if the complaints and dissatisfaction just now were just whining in a fit of anger, like a sneeze, fleeting.

"Han Yi, do you want to give Han Teng another chance?"

Han Yi's eyelashes trembled, his body tensed up unnaturally, he raised his lowered head after pauses like a puppet, and looked up at Wen Shan, his eyes were lifeless.

Han Yi doesn't understand why Wen Shan can still say such things until now, why Wen Shan can still give Han Teng a chance after being disappointed for so many years, isn't the chance given these years not enough?

Wen Shan has escaped from the emotional collapse, calmed down, and gradually stabilized. She looked at Han Yi with some timidity and helplessness, as if she was looking for a reason, an approval to support her to forgive Han Teng again, and grasp this situation again. marriage.

In fact, Wen Shan has made up her mind, but she is a little guilty and guilty. She is ashamed of herself who has been tortured and mistreated in the past, the tears shed due to grievances and disappointments, and so many years of youth.

The once innocent little girl who yearned for love ended up like this.But Wen Shan still has a glimmer of expectation and fantasy in her heart, and still has trust and hope in marriage and love.

She didn't want to give up, despite all the facts so far pointing to this path leading to the abyss.

Now she only needs someone to stand on her side and agree with her to support her. Even if 1 people object, she will have the courage to gamble again.

Han Yi understands that Wen Shan doesn't want to give up, and he doesn't want to pour cold water on Wen Shan even more than he has been tortured for so many years. This is not because Wen Shan is his mother or relative, but because Han Yi subconsciously ignores him. and whatever.

I don't know how many years ago, Han Yi was like an empty shell, and any external stimuli were blocked out, unable to pass through and reach his heart to cause any waves.

This has the advantage that I can never be influenced by my emotions, and I can avoid all possibilities of sadness. Although I may miss happiness, so many years of experience have told Han Yi that happiness will only double the pain and make it more unbearable. The gap in my heart makes me breathless.

Just like a drug addiction, once you become obsessed, you will never be able to quit in this life, because you have a heart addiction.

Wen Shan suddenly grabbed Han Yi's wrist, as if holding on to a life-saving rope, and looked at Han Yi pleadingly: "Han Yi, mom is sorry for making you suffer with mom..."

Han Yi's body felt a little unwell, first his wrists trembled, then his arms, and then his whole arm. The place where he was grabbed had the feeling of worms eating blood vessels, and there seemed to be worms crawling on his skin, that kind of clear foreign body The feeling of sticking to the skin made Han Yi's body tense, tiny beads of sweat oozed from his forehead, and cold sweat broke out from his back.

"Mom!" Han Yi seemed to be frightened by something, almost screamed, and suddenly withdrew his arm and took a few steps back. The wrist that Wen Shan grabbed just now was hidden behind Han Yi, his fingers trembled, and his whole arm trembled from time to time one time.

Wen Shan was taken aback, and just as she was about to get closer, Han Yi raised her hand to stop her.

"Son, what are you doing?"

"I'm fine..." Han Yi interrupted Wen Shan. He didn't want Wen Shan to continue asking, so he changed the subject: "You can make up your mind about your own affairs. Don't feel sorry for me."

After Han Yi finished speaking, he left the room.

Wen Shan looked down at Han Yi's hand that just touched her, sighed silently, and her thoughts flew back to the past.

Wen Shan couldn't remember at what age Xiao Han Yi started not to be touched by others. The first touch was the reaction just now. At first Wen Shan just thought that Xiao Han Yi was just angry with her and didn't take it seriously. In this way, it seems to be stimulated.

In the past, Wen Shan had always had one regret, that was, that she couldn't give little Han Yi a good hug. When she thought about it, little Han Yi had already become like this.

When Wen Shan realized it again, Han Yi had grown up and was silently getting further and further away from her, which gave Wen Shan a sense of crisis and a fluke mentality.

At this time, Wen Shan's mentality has undergone a huge change. She is afraid that if Han Teng does not repent and finally divorces, and she loses Han Yi, then her marriage will have nothing, and she will be helpless when she gets old. Unreliable.

But she was also glad that Han Yi didn't go astray, and he studied well, so far he seems to be obedient and honest, and he hasn't become like Han Teng.

So I have to control Han Yi immediately, but I don't know Han Yi too well, so I have to find a way to know everything about Han Yi, care for him, treat him well, and let him stay closer to me.

And Han Teng thinks so much that Han Yi is a boy who can pass on the family line and let the Han family blood continue, so Han Yi is also a tool that can make Han Teng settle down. He definitely doesn't want to end up with a wife and children. What's more, judging from the current situation, Han Yi will be more inclined to me, and no matter how stupid Han Teng is, he can tell it.

Han Yi arrived at the door, and it took him a long time to recover. He let out a breath slowly, feeling a little exhausted.

Cheng Xiao, I miss you.

This is all Han Yi's thoughts.

Missing is a deeper love than seeing each other.

Han Teng came back in the middle of the night, and finally lay on the sofa staggering. He was a little drunk and mumbling endlessly. Wen Shan didn't sleep well, so she was woken up soon, and got up and went to the living room.

Seeing Wen Shan coming, Han Teng grinned and called Wen Shan over.

"Xiaoshan, what a wonderful home! Hahaha! Me, Lao Wang and I, they said, my wife is getting better! My son is very, very good! They, everyone, are envious. Hahaha! "

Han Teng was emotional, waving his hands along, but his tongue was already inflexible due to drunkenness, and it was very difficult to speak.

Wen Shan didn't care about these, she almost shed tears with excitement.Every time Han Teng would brag at the wine table, and show off how envied he was when he got home.

"Yes, our family is doing well!"

"Okay, okay! Hahaha!"

"Keep your voice down, Han Yi is sleeping, and he has to get up early and go back to school tomorrow."

"Oh! Yes, yes, yes, Han, Han Yi is really, really good!"

Han Teng gave a thumbs up to the front, his voice lowered immediately, and he said cautiously: "Don't, don't make noise, Han Yi."

"Hey! Go to sleep now."

Wen Shan seems to have seen some hope, and has been very excited.

"Sleep, sleep!"

Inside the door, Han Yi curled up under the quilt, half of his face was buried in it, only his brows and eyes were exposed peacefully, and the moonlight falling on them looked softer and more relaxed.

In this chaotic and filthy world, it is still so clean and pure.For a moment, Han Yi was not like one of the many beings, he was like a little white fox descending to earth with aura, white and pure but ignorant, noble and glamorous from a distance, but lively and cute when approached.

He was lying on his side, with a mobile phone next to his face. Not long ago, the screen of the mobile phone just went black, and the last page was the chat interface of WeChat.

At the top of the chat box is the other party's note: Cheng Xiaoxiao.

Cheng Xiao said goodnight softly, as if he was afraid of waking up the people in the phone, he pressed the hang up button, and the screen of the phone showed, chat duration: 02:10, chat person: Han Xiaoyi.