What Do I Want to Do with This Magnificent Beauty?

Choose concubine?Don't say it, this description is cheap, but it's a bit like it.

Especially since Zhang Yue's words came from Zhang Yue's mouth, it made people capture a lot of emotions. This is obviously a vengeance.

[Hahahahaha this is a very Zhang Yue, Zhang Yue: Finally it's my turn]

[Don't tell me if you see it through, if you say it this way, wouldn't it be embarrassing for the paired guests? 】

[I laughed to death, Zhang Yue's mouth is too much, but there seems to be nothing wrong with these words, really like choosing a concubine. 】

[Why am I looking forward to it even more, who will be in the middle palace in the end]

……

"Old Zhang, are you making arrangements for others on Weibo again?" Xiao Xiaowei, the drummer of the Guanshan Band, poked his head over, "You don't even arrange the songs anymore, how much do you hate it?"

Bassist Xie Qing heard it, and said, "Who did the choreography, isn't it Jesse?"

Zhang Yue said with a dark face: "Do any of you hate me so much? Do you want me to find a video to see how happy you were smiling at that time?"

Xiao Xiaowei: "Don't blame me hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

Zhang Yue: "..."

The three of them, plus the guitarist Zhou Dong, were all roommates in a dormitory of the Conservatory of Music. Later, they debuted as a group, and they were used to hurting each other.Especially if you have the opportunity to laugh at Zhang Yue, you must spare no effort.

After a while, Xie Qing also found Zhang Yue's Weibo, and kept tsk-tsk, "Although there are only a few numbers, it fully reveals Lao Zhang's resentment, resentment, and venting..."

His eloquent reflections are interrupted by the guitarist and manager.

Zhou Dong and their manager walked in while talking, "Here, let's see if Zhang Yue agrees or not."

The manager sneered, "Why, if the person he scolded is here, he won't be on the show. How many other shows in China can he be on?"

Everyone: "Hahahahahahahahaha!!"

Zhang Yuehun didn't care, and asked, "What program?"

They are still at the tail end of the new album promotion period, appearing on shows everywhere to show their faces.

The agent said: "Considering the hard work of everyone, I have accepted a slower-paced program for you. Do you know "Returning to the Garden and Living in the Field"? Xia Yiwei's son is also here, and you have made an internal appointment. You will share a room with him during one trip."

Zhang Yue: "........."

Suddenly, the world fell silent.

Xiao Xiaowei and Xie Qing were stunned for a full three seconds, and then burst into a burst of shocking laughter, which almost knocked off the roof of the practice room.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I owe you!

The manager and Zhou Dong looked confused, shouldn't they?

Just like what the agent said, Zhang Yue has offended many people. As for laughing like that?

Xiao Xiaowei struggled and said: "Go and see his Weibo hahahahahaha!!"

The two looked at each other, and opened Zhang Yue's Weibo at the same time.

To be honest, the agent rarely reads Zhang Yue's Weibo, and every time she does, her blood pressure rises, and she can't stand it.But after watching it this time, she laughed until she knelt on the ground.

Zhang Yue looked at the people who were laughing all over the place, and stood up angrily, "I won't go! I don't agree!"

The other three band members said in unison: "I agree!"

Zhang Yue: "..."

The agent wiped away the tears from his laughter, "I've almost finished the conversation. It's agreed. I'll get you all the equipment you want, and I don't care how much you owe me. But the show I let you on, You gotta go too. It's all for publicity."

Zhang Yue's face turned green.

The manager combined toughness with softness, and changed his tone to persuade: "The people on Strawberry TV are not strict with their mouths. If it gets out, what do you think others think? You are afraid of Jesse, so you dare not be in the same frame with him?"

"Stop changing concepts..." Zhang Yue gritted his teeth with hatred, but still compromised, "I'll go!"

I go.A pun.

……

After Qi Shejiang, "Returning to the Garden and Living in the Fields" revealed the guest speakers again, the four members of the Guanshan Band.

[Again, WHO? ? ? 】

[I laughed so fucking loudly that I found Zhang Yue!Well done the show crew! 】

[Has Zhang Yue been threatened by his manager with a knife to appear on the show again? He also said a few days ago that Qi Shejiang was choosing a concubine]

[Yes, yes, I immediately thought of what he said, why did the slap in the face come so quickly?Will Zhang Yue dare to hate Qi Shejiang in the future? 】

[So Qishejiang is Zhang Yorke?Come down to vent your anger on everyone? 】

[emmmm Qishejiang and Zhang Yueyao are not in the same group, I'll chop off my head for you to eat as strawberries]

【Zhang Yue: I scold myself】

[Warm congratulations to Zhang Yue, the lead singer of Guanshan Band, who was selected by Queping! 】

【Hello Concubine Zhang】

[Let's Zhang fei, he's a black face all day long. 】

On the day when the recording of "Returning to the Garden" started, Li Jing sent his assistant to send Qishejiang there, and he himself had no time. Xia Yiwei's concert tour was still going on, and they were all busy.

They all felt that this was not the first time Qishejiang had recorded a variety show.

Of course, for Qishejiang, who had no practical experience, fortunately, he also had a meeting with the program team before the recording, and he almost understood.

From the moment of departure, there is a camera to take pictures with you.Qishejiang already knew the other guests who participated in the recording. In addition to him and the Guanshan band, there were six other people who would reorganize into three groups. A total of four groups lived in different houses in the same village.

In principle, a five-day trip will be cut into three periods.

After arriving at the village where they will live in the next five days, they first go to the village chief's house, draw lots under the auspices of the director, and choose the place where they will live and the companions they will live with.

Qishejiang had been hinted by Li Jing before that it was most likely the Guanshan Band, so he was not surprised when he saw the result.

In other groups, there are male and female pairs, those who are responsible for producing pink, and friends who are paired with each other, and the friendship is long live... Their group is probably the same as the Encounter Road.

After selecting the candidates, the director asked, "Do you have any thoughts about the candidates who will be your companions in the future?"

Qishejiang joked: "If there are not enough rooms, can Zhang Yue not be allowed to sleep?"

Director: "Pfft."

The joke was so big, how could Qishejiang not know, Li Jing even told him with a smile.Even he felt that Zhang Yue was miserable.

The director felt that he was quite satisfied with this answer, otherwise what would they invite these two groups of people to do.The lottery is just a cutscene, and even the audience knows that the show has a script.

Before the members of the Guanshan band came, Qishejiang went to the place where they were going to live. He thought the place was okay, it was a green brick house, and he heard that some guests had to live in tree houses.

The residents of this village lived scattered in a crescent shape, and Qishejiang's residence was at the corner, surrounded by fields.Looking at the inside of the house, anyway, for Qishejiang, the facilities were very good, with water, electricity, firewood and cooking pots.

It's just that there are only two beds. Some people may have to sleep on the sofa.

The place wasn't actually dirty, but Qishejiang remembered Li Jing's order to be diligent, so he cleaned it again. From the perspective of the mirror director and photographer, it had another meaning: spoiled and raised Children, after all, they are not satisfied with the environment, and if they think it is not clean enough, they clean it up by themselves.

After Qishejiang finished cleaning, he lay down on the table and took a nap.

The sunlight outside the house shone on his face, his eyelashes cast long shadows, and fine dust floated in the air.The photographer quickly took the opportunity to take pictures of his sleeping face from various angles.

At this time, there was a loud commotion outside the house, and Qishejiang woke up in a daze, and got up from the table. It happened that the four members of the Guanshan Band stepped in, facing each other.

There was a moment of silence.

Xiao Xiaowei was the first to speak, breaking the embarrassment, "Hello, you're here first."

Qishejiang also smiled back, "Hello. I'll be here early."

Zhou Dong and Xie Qing also exchanged pleasantries with Qishejiang, but Zhang Yue sat on the sofa without saying a word.

This sofa is half-new and not old, and it was not particularly spacious, but when he sat on it, it seemed to suddenly become shorter.

Qishejiang said slowly: "Well, this sofa..."

Zhang Yue, who had been silent all this time, suddenly raised his head very sensitively, "Why?"

Qishejiang looked innocent: "I just want to tell you that there are two beds and one sofa. Some people may have to sleep on the sofa. You are all in one group, sharing the same bed together. I'll sleep on the sofa."

Zhang Yue: "..."

Zhang Yue resentfully said: "...No, I'll sleep here."

Qishejiang said in surprise, "You're so tall, can you sleep well?"

"Of course I can't sleep, so don't be too polite, old Zhang. Don't argue, I'm the shortest, so I'll sleep here." Zhou Dong pushed Zhang Yue away, and started to push the sofa to the wall to "make the bed" .

At critical times, my brothers are still reliable.

Just as Zhang Yue was about to speak, Xiao Xiaowei and Xie Qing jumped up and hugged each other tightly, cheek to cheek and said in unison: "We sleep together!"

Zhang Yue: "..."

……

Probably from the program team to the team members, everyone is determined to let Zhang Yue succeed in choosing a concubine and realize the flag he set...

Zhang Yue packed his luggage with a stinky face. He will sleep in the same bed with Qishejiang for five days.

When he went out, Qishejiang had already chatted with Xiao Xiaowei and the others.

In fact, everyone didn't have a deep hatred, and they had the right to entertain the audience. There's no need to take it seriously, let alone cooperate now.

Besides, when they came into contact with Qishejiang himself, the three of them felt that he was pretty good, and they didn't seem like people who held grudges - Zhang Yue was the first to pick things up.I don't know how such a person would almost have sex with Zhang Yue.

It was already close to lunch time, Zhou Dong and Xiao Xiaowei could cook, of course it was very simple, and they were already ready to take charge of the next kitchen work.To their surprise, although Qishejiang couldn't cook, he was able to make a good fire.

This point is really very important.

This is an old-fashioned stove. They said they couldn't use it. An old man came in with his hands behind his back and told them how to do it in a very strong dialect accent. Shejiang really started a fire.

At first they didn't think much of it, and when the food was ready, guests from other groups came over and said how they would start a fire when they saw their cooking smoke.

Only then did I realize that the other groups had struggled for a long time, and most of them failed, making them extremely embarrassed.

"Damn, buddy, you are a genius at making fire." The guests in other groups were all excited, "You must help me, I know your mother, you have to call me uncle."

Between the words, the seniority changed instantly.

Qi Shejiang, this cheap nephew, had no choice but to set fire to him. There were also some excellent cooks in his group, so he brought a dish of food when he came back.

If there was one, there would be two. At noon, Qishejiang went everywhere to make fires, and he ate in a hurry.

Qishejiang still thought in his heart, if a modern stove was used here, then he would be completely blind.

But he chose to use an earthen stove, and now he, who once knew nothing but lighting fires and boiling water, has become a kind of genius.

……

In the afternoon, it's time to work.

Several fields around the house were about to be harvested. Several people stood by the field, and Zhou Dong asked with his arms akimbo: "Why do we start now? Do you know how to do farm work?"

After a few seconds of enigmatic silence, an unexpected person spoke again. Qishejiang said, "I checked the information beforehand. Let's divide the work first, first cut the crops, and cut them off with a sickle. It's not very strong." Those who have more strength go to cut the grain. Those who are stronger can beat the grain and carry the bucket—hey, the bucket needs to be found so that the grain can be threshed.”

"Sounds a bit tired." Zhou Dong murmured.

Qishejiang thought about it and said, "Well, a handful of rice grains weighs at least twenty or thirty catties, and all the tassels must be beaten clean, and the interval between each beating must be even and rhythmic..."

The members of the Guanshan band heard him say that they had checked the information, and they looked sure, thinking that he got the program group information through his mother's relationship, thinking that he was so hardcore, and they all weighed their own strength.

Director Jing Jing's face turned pale. What is it all about? Qishejiang probably didn't check the information from 50 years ago? !

To put it in detail, the problem is that although this is the countryside, there has been an electric threshing machine since the electricity was turned on, okay?

It really makes these few people who face the loess and back to the sky from morning to night to do all manual autumn harvesting. After five days, this is the only job, and they don't want to do anything else.What else is their program called "Returning to the Garden and Living in the Field", and it should be renamed "I Love Farming".

Director He Jing hurriedly interjected: "Everyone, in fact, you can borrow agricultural machinery. There are pedal-type harvesters, electric ones, and all-in-one combine harvesters. You don't even need to pack them. But they are of different grades. There are also different prices for agricultural machinery rental."

The four members of the Guanshan Band let out an ooh, thinking that this is the rhythm of variety shows they are familiar with...

There is no money, and it is all turned over to the program group.Looking at each other, there are only a few routines, no matter whether he is earning, exchanging, crediting, or borrowing, the guests can rest assured.

So a group of five people went to find out where to borrow agricultural machinery.

Finally, under the guidance of the villagers, they arrived at the house of the old man who appointed them to make a fire.

As soon as they saw this, they howled. The old man spoke with an accent just now, and it was not easy to communicate at all.

"Master, we'll only borrow it for three days! I'll sell it later, and I'll return it to you!" Zhang Yue said loudly, almost jumping out every word, fearing that the old man might not be able to hear clearly.

The old man looked not very interested, and he was arranged at a glance, and said, "My TV is broken."

Everyone looked at each other, what do you mean, what is broken?

Qishejiang translated it: "The TV is broken."

Zhang Yue said immediately: "Who can repair the TV?"

No one would.

Zhou Dong said with a hippie smile: "Master, we also often go on TV, we'll just sing for you, and other guests will come later, let them act for you."

While speaking, he winked Zhang Yue's eyes, and the lead singer had to come to sing, "Sing louder."

The old man thought about it, and felt that the deal was okay, "Blow the suona."

musical instrument?

Zhang Yue sneered at his teammates: "Please, blow it louder."

Three people: "..."

They are in charge of musical instruments, but how can they know folk music!

Xiao Xiaowei suddenly thought of something, "Hey, Jesse, don't you know Sanxian? Suona is also a traditional musical instrument. This is actually your part, right?"

What's the reason for this? Qishejiang knows Sanxian, which is no match for Suona, but he knows a thing or two about Jinghu.

However, Qishejiang was not impatient at all, and squatted down to talk to the old man in dialect: "I don't know how to suona, can I sing "Judging Qingyang" for you?"

The old man's cloudy eyes lit up, "You can sing this? No one has sung it for many years!"

The others, including the photographer, were shocked. They didn't expect Qishejiang to have a face of mixed blood and speak in dialect.They could understand it before, which made them feel that their ears are amazing, so they can at all?

Thinking back carefully, could it be that Xia Yiwei's husband is from here?

Others didn't know, they were only surprised that Qishejiang knew the dialect, unlike the old man, they were surprised by the repertoire.

"Shen Qingyang" was originally a local folk song with a history of hundreds of years. It originated in a certain county in this province. Later, it was also sung in the capital, and the tune used was Tianjin tune.But it is not the kind that is particularly famous, and of course few people sing it now.

The old man was sung by the opera troupe who went to the countryside to sing. Later, there was no such activity, and the old man did not know how to search on the Internet, so he never heard it again.

Now that Qishejiang said he was going to sing, he was pleasantly surprised and puzzled, could he really sing?

Just rapped and sang, Qishejiang knocked something on the table as a board, and sang, "Something happened in Fuzhou City, and the county magistrate sat down to interrogate Qingyang. Why did Qingyang interrogate? Liu's daughter, Li Jialang, the two married Before they were married, she was destined to meet the King of Hades. There were four rooms in the east of the city. There was a carpenter named Li Xiang, who gave birth to a 17-year-old son. The girl at home..."

There are many songs in Tianjin tune, besides "Shen Qingyang", there are also "Sage Persuasion", "Admiralty", "Gao Lanxiang's Resurrection" and so on. , the whole article has 61 paragraphs, and one paragraph is a short section.It would take half an hour to finish singing, so Qishejiang picked up parts and sang for seven to eight minutes.

Taking care of the old man, Qishejiang deliberately used his Beijing opera skills to raise the tone, and his voice was exquisite and euphemistic, clear but not floating, which even made it sound a bit blurred about gender characteristics.

The old man was engrossed in listening, and Ben tilted his head to appreciate it. When Qishejiang finished, he clapped his hands vigorously a few times, stood up and said, "That's what it smells like! The young man sings well, really well!"

He was so emotional that he took out the key without any hassle, "Here you are, this harvester!"

Director Follow Mirror: "...Master, no, you can only borrow pedal-type ones. You can't borrow harvesters casually, and the asking price is higher."

The old man: "I'll borrow it myself! My son's family has it! No money!"

director:"……"

When the others saw it, they all turned aside Director Jingjing, "Hey, this is what the uncle wants to borrow from us, and you have no rules. You can conquer the uncle with your own skills!"

After arguing, director Xiang Jing was speechless. He couldn't explain it at all, so he had to let them take the key away.

Coming out of the old man's house, Zhou Dong asked the question in everyone's mind: "How can you speak the words here? Could this be your hometown?"

Qishejiang smiled, and learned Zhou Dong's hometown dialect. Zhou Dong's accent was actually not heavy, but he could tell where he was from. He spoke the serious Zhou Dong's hometown dialect, "I'm from the capital."

Zhou Dong opened his eyes wide, "You can do this too? That's quite authentic!"

Qishejiang said calmly: "We crosstalk artists say that we learn four subjects of singing and singing, and we learn all kinds of dialects. This is called 'poukou'. By changing the accent, we can better shape the characters. It's not just here, like Jin, Hebei, Jin and other local dialects must be learned.”

Everyone: "Say it again, what are you guys doing?"

Qishejiang didn't feel that what he said was wrong, so he looked at him blankly, "We are cross talk artists."

Everyone: "......... Poof."

Who said Qishejiang didn't have a sense of variety, isn't that humorous!