Forced to mark after inhibitor expires

Qingxi Hospital.

Everywhere is glaringly white, the air is filled with the smell of disinfectant, the wheels under the bed are making rumbling noises, several experts come out in turn to talk to Ji Yanli, and finally even the dean comes over, to the effect that Xie Anzhi is currently dying, Total organ failure, if you don’t save it, you can’t survive today. If you really want to rescue it at all costs, you can save it, but the hope of surviving after the rescue is very slim. She can’t last a week, and the extreme traumatic treatment may bring harm to the patient. pain.

Moreover, Xie Anzhi himself said that he didn't want to continue, didn't want to have surgery, and didn't want a ventilator.

She said, let me die like this.

"Now we are giving her morphine for pain relief, but she is still conscious." The doctor said, "You are the only adult immediate family member, and we respect your opinion."

Ji Yanli said, "I want to go see her."

He walked into the ward. On his birthday, Xie Anzhi was still talking and laughing at Yanyan. He was wearing bright red clothes, which made him look radiant. The score is because I can't hold on anymore.

Even if you don't remember anything, why are you still so stubborn.

Sitting in front of the bed, Ji Yanli held her hand. Xie Anzhi was so thin that he could feel the shape of every bone in his hand. A dose of morphine flowed weakly under the skin. The skin that was originally white as suet jade was covered with wrinkles and brown scars. The body became colder and colder as time went by. No matter how hard Ji Yanli tried to warm her hands, she couldn't lift them. Get a little angry.

The ECG on the ECG monitor was slow and feeble, with green ripples beating up and down, and every sound was frightening to be the last.

Xie Anzhi slowly opened his eyes and looked at him, his eyes were still clear: "Are you here?"

"Hmm..." Ji Yanli said softly, "The doctor said, you don't want to be treated anymore?"

"Forget it," Xie Anzhi's voice was very soft, "I already knew that such a day would come. Aren't I fine now? Why do I have to make people look like ghosts and get plugged into various machines?"

"but……"

"Zhishu originally said that people should live decently when they live and die decently. He also said that in the future, if he gets old and gets cancer and it can't be cured, don't treat him." Xie Anzhi said weakly. Smiled, "I've spent half my life treating this incurable disease. In this life, I can't just do one thing."

Ji Yanli's heart suddenly froze for a moment: "Have you remembered? Have you remembered everything?"

From the moment he came in, he felt that Xie Anzhi was different from usual. When she lost her memory, she was more innocent, straightforward, and childish. She would chat with the nurse about her children and husband every day, but she was actually always slightly melancholy, even though Even a smile makes people feel like swaying wormwood. The shadow behind Ji Zhishu's death is always hidden in her frown and smile, as if she has changed her into another person from the root.

"I remember a lot. Things that I couldn't remember before, those things that I didn't remember, I don't know why I forgot." Xie Anzhi said softly, "Isn't God very kind to me? He doesn't want me to have nothing. Go knowingly."

"You won't...you won't die," Ji Yanli touched her hand, as if trying to transfer the heat from his body to her, "Don't say that..."

"I've figured it out now..." Xie Anzhi's eyes were quiet and clear, "It doesn't matter if Fu Shixin is a good boy or not, it's right to know the book to save people, and the right thing is always worth it. I will always support him in his decision. , a thousand times over, he will still choose to save people, that's why I love him."

Ji Yanli's nasal cavity was sore, he was afraid of hearing Xie Anzhi confess his thoughts like this, as if he was going to confess something to him at the end, like some kind of black omen.

"I know, it's not Fu Shixin's fault, but..." Xie Anzhi hesitated for a long time, "But I don't forgive him, so it should be. He can be forgiven."

"Hmm..." Ji Yanli choked up, "Father would think so too."

Xie Anzhi laughed again: "After all, I am not as kind as he is."

"Do you want to drink water? Do you want something else?" Ji Yanli asked tremblingly. He didn't understand why Xie Anzhi was so calm and natural. She was lying thinly on the mattress, but she seemed to have seen It was a long time in the future, but he didn't, he couldn't see anything, he thought it was Xie Anzhi's hands shaking from the cold, only to find out later that it was his own hands shaking.

"What about Yihe?"

"She's on the way, slow down, hurry up." Ji Yanli said, "What else?"

"No more." Xie Anzhi closed his eyes and rested for a long time, and then said, "For so many years, I have been very sorry for not taking care of you and causing you a lot of trouble."

Ji Yanli's tears filled his eyes unconsciously, he tried his best not to shed tears: "Mom, what are you talking about?"

"You will have a good life in the future."

"Ah."

"Tell Yihe, she is too."

"Hmm..." Ji Yanli nodded with tears in his eyes, held her hand tightly against his forehead, and begged softly, "Stop talking, can you rest for a while, you wait for Yihe, you wait for her."

Xie Anzhi suddenly opened her eyes as if she had been frightened by something, and she grabbed Ji Yanli's hand with her last strength: "College entrance exam, are you taking the college entrance examination today?"

Ji Yanli's light-colored eyes were filled with tears. He paused for a long time, looked at her tenderly and said, "Mom, you remembered wrongly, it's not today."

"That's good...that's good," Xie Anzhi's face stretched, showing a reassuring smile, "I'm afraid that I will delay you when I die. You have to take the exam well, okay? From now on, you will be like your father..."

Xie Anzhi fell on the bed, the corners of his mouth were still raised, but tears rolled down from the corners of his eyes, soaking the pillow.

Her voice was low, as if she was talking to herself: "Yanli, I saw your father, and he is waving at me."

A soft sigh escaped from her lips and dissipated in the crackling rain outside the window.

"We really... haven't seen each other for a long time."

In a trance, it was still the scorching hot summer of that year. The crisp ringing of bicycle bells filled the road, and the lush green treetops swayed in the wind. The young Alpha was tall and long-legged, with one foot on the ground, holding a collection of poems and light yellow flowers in his hands. , with a light and gentle smile, calling her softly...

The electrocardiogram gradually became slow and weak, and the intervals between each beat became longer and longer. Xie Anzhi drooped his eyelashes as if he was in a deep sleep, and Ji Yanli called his mother softly, but she didn't respond.

The torrential rain outside the window was like a waterfall, and the thunderstorms in summer came so violently. The strong wind whipped up the rain curtain and slammed on the window, sending out low-pitched tremors.

The electrocardiogram finally turned into a monotonous "di--", tending to a straight line without any ups and downs.

"Mom—!!" A heart-piercing cry sounded from outside the door.

Ji Yanli's heart trembled violently, and the next moment Ji Yihe rushed in drenched, wrapped in the hot wind with the smell of earth, she rushed to the bed with a pale face, and pushed Xie Anzhi's hand: " Mom? Mom? Mom, wake up, look at me... Mom!"

Ji Yihe's cry echoed shrillly in the ward, Ji Yanli couldn't hear her crying like this, crying like his heart was about to break, he took one step back and walked out of the ward in a daze, the door closed behind him, He was empty-handed.

"Senior, senior?" Ren Jingqiu stood up from the bench, dripping wet all over.

"You, don't be too sad..." Ren Jingqiu stammered, "What are you going to do after that?"

"What time is it?" Ji Yanli asked.

"Uh, let me see," Ren Jingqiu frantically took out his phone, "It's almost ten o'clock, where are you going now? Senior? I'll see you off!"

"College entrance examination."

"What?" Ren Jingqiu almost bit his tongue, "But, but, senior, you won't be able to enter the examination room even if you go back now. You can only miss the Chinese test. Do you still want to continue the test?"

"Yeah." Ji Yanli heard himself say, "I'm going to finish the exam."

Ren Jingqiu sent Ji Yanli to the school gate, but Ji Yanli didn't have lunch, he just kept saying that he wanted Ren Jingqiu to go back to find Yihe, and Ren Jingqiu had no choice but to do so.

Ji Yanli sat under the tree for a whole noon. It felt like it was only a blink of an eye. The school gates opened again. Candidates filed in with their IDs. He followed the flow of people into the classroom and finished the math test quietly. He didn't seem to think about anything. After leaving the examination room, the examinees around him yelled that the question was abnormal, crying and laughing, but it fell into his ears dimly, like meaningless noise coming from across the wall, high or low, loud or small .

He went back to the hospital by car, dealt with Xie Anzhi's funeral, put a shroud on the body and sent it to the funeral home, and brought Ji Yihe home to sleep after crying until he collapsed. He wanted to get up and make something for his sister, but when he walked to the door and heard Ji Yihe's suppressed crying, he gave up and went back to his room.

How to comfort her, Ji Yanli thought, he couldn't think of it, he thought about it all night, his mind was empty, almost numb, just like the night Ji Zhishu died, Ji Yihe knelt on the ground crying hoarsely, but he said nothing Can't tell.

He is such an incompetent brother.

When things come to an end, I only feel that the language is so feeble. He and Ji Yihe have briefly established some kind of emotional connection, even if they don't speak, they can know what the other person is thinking. Language and writing have been developed so far to express grief The most direct and powerful way is tears, as if a volley cut open the well-dressed shell of civilization and rationality, exposing the undisguised instinct inside.

Some things, in fact, have already predicted the results, predicted for many years, warned many times, and made sufficient psychological preparations. Even everything that happened today is not surprising to him. He just thinks it is a result that is destined to be accepted.

He thought he had accepted it.

But when it really happened, why is it still so sad, as if there was a big hole in the chest, all the emotions and thoughts leaked out from the middle, and the sore and muddy pain squeezed out of the body vigorously, accompanied by There was a tingling in the heart, as if that was where the emotions were really felt.

From time to time he felt that everything was like a dream, as if he just opened his eyes from a dream, thinking that Xie Anzhi was dead.

It wasn't until he saw the light paths cut by the window ribs on the ceiling that he realized that it was already dawn.

He was carrying a schoolbag and sitting on the bus, quietly, bumping and vibrating all the way. He leaned against the transparent car window, watching yesterday's dark clouds were broken by the golden sunlight, and the dust in the car rose up in the transparent and bright light path. ups and downs.

English in the morning and comprehensive in the afternoon.

When the closing bell rang, everyone put down their pens, and the invigilator quickly collected the papers. After the final count and inspection, he announced with a smile: "You can leave, congratulations."

The corridors are full of candidates sprinting out, no matter whether they got a good test or not, they all screamed deafeningly and hysterically, tearing up books, running wildly, all graduates outside the test room are jumping and hugging their friends or parents , venting its vigorous energy like a wild beast out of its cage.

The brilliant midsummer light fell on those flamboyant and rebellious teenagers.

Ji Yanli came out from the dark, only to feel that the surrounding sunlight was still dazzlingly bright, and it appeared to be a blur of whiteness. He was carrying an empty schoolbag, surrounded by piercing excitement and screams, silently passing through the surging crowd, wandering Go forward with your destination.

He walked for a long distance, and when he looked up, he saw Xi Ye standing in front of him.

Xi Ye stood in the shade of a tree, stepped on the curb, and stood with the parents who were waiting for the exam. He was dressed in black and trousers, but he stood out from the crowd, more conspicuous than anyone else.

With his pockets in his pockets, his eyebrows darkened, he looked at Ji Yanli motionlessly.

Across a narrow road, bicycles, motorbikes and pedestrians flowed between the two of them. The two looked at each other in the gap between the crowd. Ji Yanli's gaze was blank, without any surprises or accidents. The scenery that passed by.

Until Xi Ye came down, walked towards him step by step, walked very close to him, bowed his head and called him: "Ji Yanli."

Ji Yanli seemed to recognize him just now, he raised his head slowly, his long soft eyelashes drooping, and his voice was as soft as the wind.

He said, "Xi Ye, I don't have a mother anymore."

Xi Ye stretched out his hand and hugged him tightly, and the solid and warm darkness enveloped his eyes, like a solid city barrier, the curtain of the world fell, the noise and disturbance were isolated, and everything was settled.

Ji Yanli was bored for a long time, and finally grabbed his clothes and cried out loudly.