my zepple

思い出たちがふいに私を

chaos ni slap ん de ri

Memories inadvertently catch me inseparable

Ai Shi Te Ma Su Shang Mo Fu

i love you still deeply

+ + +

Tong Yu felt that Song Rou might be passing her temper.

In his impression, celebrities seem to be busy running announcements in various cities, but Song Rou seems to have a lot of time.He runs from the urban area to the studio every day, and every time he brings a little idea, squeezed out piece by piece like constipation.

Tong Yu had no choice but to tell Song Rou with a straight face that all his ideas, the concept of the song, the general style of the poster and the presentation effect, could be contacted with his studio online through his assistant, and the original painting would be sent to him when it was completed .

Song Rou answered everything Tong Yu said, but he would still come the next day as usual.

Asking is just worrying, Tong Yu is at the side to supervise the work when he is painting, and he can ask for any suggestions and requests at any time.

Tong Yu had no choice but to make an appointment with Song Rou for a fixed time every day, so that Song Rou would not be swaying in front of her when she was doing other work.

Even so, Tong Yu still felt annoyed, because when Song Rou was with him, they seldom talked about work.

At the beginning, I just sat in the studio and just watched him quietly without speaking. I sat there and watched him draw. He painted for hours, and Song Rou watched for hours without moving.

After that, I would ask him where he had been in the past few years, and later asked him what he had learned outside, and why he didn't come back to see him.

Tong Yu didn't know what to say, and he didn't know how to say it, so most of the time he just kept his head down and drew.

One night Song Rou shared a song with Tong Yu, the name of the song was "Acacia".This is a single he wrote at home during the 2020 epidemic, and it is included in the album of the same name.

After the album was released, it won the double crown of singles and albums on mainstream music platforms in 23 countries around the world, setting a new record for Song Rou to reach the top of the world's major digital platforms.

This time he plans to re-record Acacia as the theme song for the C City Station tour.One of Tong Yu's jobs is to design coupons and posters based on the concept of the song.

Tong Yu just got out of the shower, and while wiping his hair, he clicked on the MV to look for inspiration.

Before clicking on it, Tong Yu glanced at the comments, and roughly understood that it was edited from some empty camera clips that Song Rou took during the 2020 epidemic. Many fans laughed loudly in the comment area that he was making music with his heart and MV with his feet.

Most of the shots in the MV are about the huge acacia tree.The tree trunk, the hanging clusters of white flowers, the light and shadow leaking between the leaves, and the long shot of the sparkling lake under the tree.

Tong Yu recognized the locust tree and the lake, which were in the back mountain of No. [-] Middle School.

---

After returning from Phoenix, City C officially entered winter.

The winter in City C is not too cold, the lowest temperature is around zero degrees, and you can see one or two small snowfalls a year.

And Tongyu hates winter the most.The sun shines directly south of the equator, and the northern hemisphere has short days and long nights, and he hates long, cold nights because it makes him feel bad.

But he also hated spring, and he had to be very careful every spring.Because the air pressure is unstable in spring, it will lead to human neuroendocrine disorders such as serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine.

So spring always means repeated illness and skin allergies.

His favorite season is summer.

Although the summer in C City is hot every year, he likes to dress thinner and bask in the sun. In summer, he can even drink soda and Slurpee fearlessly and forget about stomach pains.

After the temperature dropped, the mood should also drop, and Tong Yu waited as it should.When the deep winter came, the new year passed, and everything began to recover, he realized belatedly that he had passed the difficult winter safely.

Back then, he always thought it was the reason olanzapine was finally starting to work.Because his doctor also told him that maybe the medicine this time is really symptomatic.

After all, that is the greatest antipsychotic drug in the world.

So many years later, Tong Yu still feels in a trance when he recalls it.He thought, if, he meant if: At that time, he didn't fall in love with Song Rou, and he could still be willing, just as a friend to absorb the pure heat in the other party's body.

Will his life be lighter from now on?

The first middle school in April has entered the flowering season, and the pear blossoms are translucent and white, sinking on the branches like new snow.The cherry blossoms are more fragile, and the cherry blossoms all over the campus are like fine snow floating in the mountain wind, forming a layer of pink and white fragrant snow outside the teaching building.

The flowering period of roses and roses in the flower garden is long enough, as if there are flowers blooming all year round except winter.

Only Sophora japonica blooms in the back mountain.

The back hill of No. [-] Middle School is not often visited by people, and some old family buildings are built in the back hill, but now the faculty and staff prefer commercial housing, and there are few people living in the family building.There are also small vegetable plots and nurseries opened by some schools, which are rarely taken care of and overgrown with weeds.

But Tong Yu often takes painting materials to sketch.

His favorite is a lake, he called that place Xingxinghai.

Because the mountain spring is clear, the water flow is slow, and the water surface is sparkling when it flows in and out.When the sun shines down, it is sparkling, and the surface of the lake is covered with fine golden starlight.

There are several acacia trees by the lake, with clusters of flowers overlapping and hanging from one to May, and the spikes pressing on the branches.

Tong Yu loves to smell the Sophora japonica flowers in late spring, and thinks it smells like wine, sweet and intoxicating.

When the sun is good and he doesn't want to go to class, Tong Yu likes to go there and lie down in the shade of the locust tree with his earphones plugged in, squinting at the sea of ​​stars.Sometimes he can sleep in the fragrance of Sophora japonica, which is his only pleasure in late spring.

Fortunately, the sun in City C was quite diligent at work at that time.

It's just that Song Rou spent less and less time in the studio at that time. Tong Yu knew that he was preparing to take the music art examination, and painting was always just one of his hobbies.

May No. 12 happened to be the sixth anniversary of the Wenchuan Earthquake. Every website I clicked on my phone was gray, and the sky above the city was also shrouded in gray. City C is not far from Wenchuan, and it was also a real disaster area back then.

This day is Tong Yu's birthday and also his mother's memorial day.

Tong Yu's family lived on the 23rd floor.When the earthquake struck, only his mother was at home. She jumped from the window on the 23rd floor and landed on the ground at the entrance of the apartment building in the community, turning into a puddle of mud.

But in fact, on the day of NO.2008 in May 12, very few houses in City C collapsed, especially the newly built commercial houses, which at most only shook a little bit.

She jumped from upstairs, not even because of the earthquake.

But Tong Yu knew that there would be such a day.Because his mom is just like him, she's crazy.

As long as Tong Yu can remember, she has often been sent to mental hospitals for compulsory treatment.It's just that she didn't suffer from this madness before she gave birth to Tong Yu.

Tong Yu's father is Tong Mian, and Tong Mian was on a business trip the day his mother turned into a puddle of mud.At that time, she was taking a nap, and the aunt who stayed at home to take care of her went out to the Hongqi Supermarket outside the community to pay the gas bill.

The earthquake occurred at 28:[-] pm.

The aunt who had paid the gas fee entered the gate of the community and hadn't walked to the unit building. She was dizzy and saw her fall heavily on the ground, turning into a bloody mess.

Mom is not bad to Tong Yu either.

She lives in the hospital most of the time.When I was at home, I was always moody, hysterical when I had a headache, I beat things, and my mouth was full of insults that couldn't stop.

When she was at home rarely, she would bake strawberry bread for him, sit on the sofa and call him over gently, asking him how he was doing at school and what friends he had made.

However, Tong Yu was a very weird child since he was a child, he didn't go out of the room, and he didn't like to talk to others.In the words of some grown-ups, he was an autistic child.

But then he hadn't lost his mind, and his head hadn't started hurting.

When Tong Mian rushed back, Tong Yu had already been taken to the funeral home for a long time.When Tong Yu saw the puddle of mud, he was relieved to see Tong Mian.

Tong Yu could see clearly.

However, I can still grit my teeth for 11 years in such a life, so I feel that I can even forgive him.

But in the middle of the night, Tong Yu heard faint crying in the living room at home. When he opened the door of his room, Tong Mian came over and hugged him.

He didn't understand again.Because Tong Mian never hugged him, most of the time he was preaching.

And Tong Yu is very dull, and rarely responds.

When he was 12 years old, he was also taken to the psychiatric department of the hospital. When the doctor made a diagnosis, Tong Yu didn't even dare to see whether Tong Mian's eyes were disappointed or numb.

He can't connect words into sentences and read normally, and when he bends over his desk, he feels his head is so heavy that his neck is about to be broken.Later, the whole world became as unreal as through a layer of frosted glass.

The doctor looked at him with compassionate eyes, and only said: "You have depersonalized, try taking sertraline. At the beginning, you always take sertraline, and the side effects are small."

One piece, two pieces, three or four pieces, one month, two months, three months, four months.At one point he was so stretched in the toilet that he couldn't stand up, but the situation didn't get any better.Later he even started having difficulty getting out of bed, peeing on the toilet, and insomnia all night long.

Then he tried escitalopram oxalate, then paroxetine, then venlafaxine.to no avail.

When he was 16, he finally turned cranky.

But he met olanzapine and Song Rou.

The lyrics before the chapter are quoted from Utada Hikaru's Manatsu の Tong り Rain