brother is stupid

Friend, Yizhi is only a friend like Liang Zhi, and it is also the first time he has made friends, so how could he still want to go to his friend.

Thinking about it this way, in high school, someone wanted to be friends with Yizhi, but that required wasting a lot of time on having fun, and he didn't like it.

I remember when I was in high school, I was always the top one or two in the school, with excellent grades, smart and flexible brain, envy and jealousy always lingering around me, many people gave snacks and treats to flatter me, just for a question, a An answer, fawning around thick-skinned.

"Student Yizhi, how did you solve the No.16 question?"

"What about question No.19?"

"I still don't understand the explanation of this sentence, can you explain it to me?"

A sense of superiority, released as the problem mounts.

"I've already said this question, and I don't want to repeat the same answer."

"If I continue to teach, it will not be of any use to you who have no IQ."

"During class, I put on makeup and dress up, but after class, I come to ask me questions. Is there an amusement park here? What are you thinking?"

The number of people crying in anger increased, and the people in the class became strange.

"That guy is conceited and poisonous, don't talk to him."

"Yesterday, Meiyu cried out of anger at him."

"He's very rude, don't play with him."

Conceit, contempt, ridicule, he has long been immune.

Bullying, someone once wanted to do that, but he got out of control with a vicious tone, and was caught by the teacher before he started, and nothing happened after that.

"I remembered something annoying."

Yizhi, who was lying on the bed, was talking to himself, and pulled the broken hair scattered on his forehead.

In the dark room, there is a hint of coolness, and there is also a slight breathing sound. The fool on the ground spread his limbs, immersed in sleep, sucking his fingers greedily, making a sound of baji baji, suddenly opened his eyes and sat up, The person on the bed was startled, cursed in a low voice, crazy.

The fool walked out of the room as if no one was there.

"To the restroom?"

Yizhi didn't bother to talk about it, closed his eyes and prepared to sleep, when a sharp voice came from the living room, something broke again?

He obviously didn't care about it, but sat up again, turned on the light in the living room, and the living room became bright instantly, and there was the sound of mice flipping through plastic bags in the kitchen.

He walked into the kitchen, saw the scene in front of him, opened his mouth wide and was stunned.

The idiot knelt on the ground and ate food from the trash can. His thin body showed baggy clothes. He looked pitifully like a stray dog ​​wandering in the trash, or a hungry ghost reincarnated chewing on the residue.

Yizhi had long since abandoned the pity that had fallen to the bottom of the valley, and started bubbling on the surface of the water to emerge, and he picked up the idiot.

"Don't eat it, spit it out."

Grabbing the idiot to the kitchen counter and slapping his back hard, the idiot didn't understand this principle, he pushed Yizhi away vigorously, continued to lie on the ground, Yizhi snatched the trash can quickly with his eyesight and hands.

"Hmm..." The people who were trying to snatch it wailed and howled, scrambling for the trash can. Yizhi could not hold back this irrational cow with all his strength, so he slapped the tall and thin man several times.

"Wow……"

The idiot yelled loudly, and after a while glared at Yizhi angrily, the mouth was dripping with soup mixed with saliva, "Haha...haha...uh..."

It was flushed from the neck, and there were obvious red marks on the face.

Yizhi reluctantly hid the trash can in the bathroom, the fool stared at Yizhi's behavior with tears in his eyes, until he closed the door, he threw himself on the ground as if the sky was falling, knocked on the floor, opened his mouth wide and cried out screaming with all his life, wrinkled Tears that could penetrate the floor flowed on Tight's face, and his shoulders shook with extreme aggrievedness.

Looking at the child cheating on the ground, Yizhi sneered slightly, opened the refrigerator, took an egg, sesame seeds, and ham sausage, and accompanied by the sound of wolf crying, Yizhi hummed happily and made fried rice.

The person who smelled the fragrance leaned behind Yizhi and swallowed his saliva. Just as he stretched his hand into the pot, he was slapped hard again, "Go wash your hands and clean your mouth... I don't need to squeeze the toothpaste for you."

Looking back, I saw the teary-eyed dog wagging its tail, and its silly eyes almost saw through the pot.

Kind of cute.

"Forget it, I'll take you to wash."

After taking the idiot to wash, Yizhi sat across from him, resting his chin on his hands and looking at the wolf-eating idiot, puffing his cheeks and pouring spoonfuls into his mouth. Before the rice could be chewed, he swallowed it in a panic, making a gurgling swallowing sound, 1 minute In no time, a large plate of fried rice was reduced by half in an instant.

"Is it that delicious?"

Getting used to questions that no one answered, Yizhi looked at the famine man with a smile.

How hungry is it to find food in the garbage, and I actually cook for him in the middle of the night? It's guilt, it's a bit ridiculous.

However, was he like this when he was a child?

He fell to the ground and cried loudly when he was not given food. I don’t remember much, but I only remember that he always stood next to his vulgarly dressed mother, bowing his head timidly as if he had been wronged. When the mother was away, he would curl up in the corner , The gloomy and indifferent eyes are strange and distance.

Therefore, he also dislikes fools very much. Even if he hasn't seen him for 16 years, this dislike doesn't seem to have changed.

"Umm..." The person who was reluctantly licking the plate back and forth finally realized that the plate was empty, and let out a sad moan.

After a while, he threw a few grains of rice on the table into his mouth.

"There's more on the face, here." Yizhi pointed to his own face and said, the face covered with rice remained motionless, and tears gradually gathered in his eyes.

Yizhi hilariously snatched the plate, and after cleaning it, put the trash in the toilet at the door, helped the fool wash his face, and then turned off the light in the living room.

saturday morning

Six o'clock

in the room

Yizhi turned off the air conditioner and opened the window. The outside of the window was already dyed clearly by the morning sun. The warm and comfortable cool wind entered the room one after another. Gently stroking the curtains, Yizhi took a deep breath of fresh and clean air, soothing A lazy heart.

On Saturdays, he usually wakes up at nine o'clock, but today he set the alarm clock at six o'clock, and he is going on a "date". Although it started after 7 o'clock in the evening, thinking that Liang Zhi might confess his love, he had to make some preparations.

After kicking the man on the ground, the man murmured slightly but did not wake up.

I cooked porridge for two people, fried a few scallion pancakes, a stack of pickles, and took a few bites. I always felt that something was missing, was there a lack of salt?

The door opened, he turned his face, and saw the man standing by the door stupidly.

"Go wash up and come over for breakfast." Yizhi said, and went to the kitchen to bring a bowl of porridge and put it on the opposite table.

The man was still standing stupidly, swallowing his saliva.

"Why are you standing there stupidly, hurry up and wash up."

The man who was not thinking about the conversation didn't hear it at all, and stared at the table.

Yizhi thumped the table impatiently, and with the sound of a huge crack, the man regained his senses and went to wash up.

"idiot."

After the meal, standing in front of the mirror, Yizhi compared the two ties in his hand.

After putting on a brown tie, I buttoned up the front buttons, and looked at myself in the mirror carefully. It was too serious. After 10 minutes, I changed it to another color, red. This one was pressed in the box for more than a year. tie, never followed him out the door.

Changing to different colors over and over again, even those who are not too picky have become extra picky today, and only noticed the people behind after taking off their suits.

He patted the fool on the head lightly.

"Aren't you going to draw today?"

There was no response, and the fool lowered his head meekly.

Yizhi smiled, ignored it, sat in front of the computer, and typed a few words.

What should I wear on a date?

Casual wear, casual, casual.

Is that so?Can't wear a suit.

Yizhi opened the closet, and there were all brand-name suits in it, all of which were for work, and the casual wear was just ordinary short-sleeved cropped pants. On vacation, he usually worked at home and seldom went out, so he didn't buy any clothes.

Are you going to wear short-sleeved cropped pants?Going to a concert?no problem?

In fact, it is the first time for Yizhi to go on a "date". He has never dated a girl before, and of course it is also the first time with a man.

Although there were gatherings in the company before, he hated the environment with many people, drank and talked loudly, so he was busy and had something to do, so he shied away, and no one invited him over time.

Of course, it was also his first time to go to a concert.

It's not nervous, it's excited. It's been a year. Liang Zhi's eyes haven't changed but he's still a little gentle. This time he invited himself to the concert to confess his love to him. What will he do?

The long afternoon finally passed, and in the evening, Yizhi left half an hour late, on purpose, to make the person who had a crush on him wait for half an hour, which should be the right thing to do.

It was already 7 o'clock when we arrived at the gymnasium, Liang Zhi complained to those who were almost late.

Before the start of the concert, it was very quiet, and the silence was disturbed by the soft and clear voice of nature from a woman. The shock and appeal of the scene were incomparable. In the lively night, the light sticks swinging with the notes were like colorful dancers. Quietly listen to the graceful melody in the music.

Yizhi looked at the woman on the stage, her voice was a little familiar, for a moment, it was like her mother's voice, when she was a child, she heard her mother sing a soothing song, under the sun, in the courtyard, a woman with long hair tied up casually, wearing Dressed in a floral dress, he hugged his brother and sat on the swing chair, humming that song.

The wind and rain always float into the heart of the world

The chicness of wandering is also hard to forget the absurd pain

memory always continues

hope i always remember

spirit in my life

thank you baby

you found me

make me ordinary

let me know how to cherish myself

At ten o'clock in the summer night, the concert is over, and the cars speeding on the road drive to the city, gradually hidden in the city dotted with colorful lights.

Randomly found a bar.

Soft and dim lights, gentle soft music, soft voices, sitting at the bar, two people holding wine bottles, clinking glasses, drinking, this kind of atmosphere reveals warmth.

"In a bad mood?" Liang Zhi clinked glasses with him and said.

"No, it was today's song that moved me a little bit." That's why at that moment, I remembered things I shouldn't think about, and I remembered people I shouldn't think about.

"Yeah, I just said you'll like it... especially the song "Lin Drenyu", it makes me want to cry." Liang Zhi said and pretended to wipe away his tears.

Yizhi smiled slightly, but drank the wine in the glass without answering.

"By the way, what happened to the woman who showed up to you last time?"

Yizhi asked Liang Zhi remindingly, will you not confess this time?Then I can only slap on the sidelines.

"Which one?" Liang Zhi asked with his face turning red instantly.

"How many more?"

Is this ordinary and slow man very popular?

"There are a few, um, and..."

"Anyway, you should push it all away." Yizhi said with certainty that a man who has been in love with him for more than a year and who is dating him will not easily agree to others.

Liang Zhi nodded, and for a while, no one spoke, and the atmosphere was broken by a faltering and low-key tone.

"Actually, there is one thing that bothers me..."

Yizhi clenched the wine bottle tightly, looked at his hand uncertainly, not sure if his voice trembled slightly, "What's the matter?"

"Yes, a boy confessed to me."

Yizhi stared at the speaker with wide eyes in shock.

Do you want to be passionate about your own attention?

Or test?

"Push it away too." He pretended to touch the wine bottle easily, and forced a smile.

"Of course, a man, it's so disgusting, and he said he likes it to me, I have goosebumps, and now I still feel uncomfortable, because I'm from the company, I can't talk nonsense..." Liang Zhi chattered non-stop, completely oblivious to Yizhi's dark complexion.

nausea?

Got goosebumps?

Uncomfortable?

The muscles in the face stiffened, just kidding.

"How can you be joking about this kind of thing? How can you say that I have encountered such unlucky things?"

Yizhi didn't get home until two o'clock in the morning, he fell on the sofa, pulled his tie, swayed to the kitchen, and got a few bottles of beer.

"He even kissed my face while I wasn't paying attention, it was so dirty."

"It's disgusting to think about it, pervert."

Liang Zhi, who was wiping his face, pierced Yizhi's heart with a disgusted expression, his throat was cut by the broken glass, and he lost his voice.

Up to now, I still feel that I heard it wrong, yes, Yizhi patted his head, it was definitely wrong, he took out his mobile phone and dialed Liang Zhi's number.

"Hey."

It's not hello, it's not this sentence, I was drunk just now, don't take what I said seriously...

"Yizhi, did you get home safely?" Liang Zhi's voice filled his ears like thunder.

Yizhi smashed the phone on the ground and smashed it to pieces. It was as if cold water had been poured on his whole body. From head to toe, every cell was shattered by needles, and a big stone was hung on his heart. It was so heavy, so heavy. Stuffy, a little out of breath, he touched his heart, always felt bleeding.

Something dripped on the floor, it wasn't blood, it was tears, it was tears, crying?

Impossible, he won't cry.

He wiped the tears from his face, crashed into the room, pulled up the man on the ground, and beat him down hard. In the dark room, there were only the sound of fists venting and the cry of a fool.

"Why cry, bastard, what's there to cry about, isn't he just a man? I'm so good, there are many people who like me..."

The hoarse and rough voice, the meteor-like fist, fell on the fool, and at the same time crushed his stubborn self-esteem.

Yizhi let go of his hands and leaned back against the bed. In the dark room, his hands covered his face, but he couldn't cover the tears that were falling down, and his trembling shoulders couldn't hide the pain in his heart.

He kicked the fool.

"Why are you crying? It's so noisy."

The idiot's cries gradually became weaker, but the man beside the bed suddenly burst into tears.

Be

Yizhi is the coward in this one-man show.

A year ago, when I couldn't find the material and criticized my colleagues angrily, when the anxious colleagues bit back, when fierce words were spoken wantonly, when everyone stood on the bridge to watch the show.

Only, he came out to mediate the atmosphere, that's when.

I fell in love with this man named Liang Zhi, but he was too timid to speak.

What if he dislikes himself as a man?

What if you are ridiculed by your colleagues after confessing?

What if Liang Zhi doesn't talk to him anymore?

He was afraid, worried, whether Liang Zhi would speak ill of him behind his back like others did, saying that he was incapable of being a human being, that he was vicious and had a poisonous mouth.

After the sharp words, the gentle Liang Zhi never once said bad things about him, he only said, Yi Zhi, his heart is not bad.

He was not mistaken, Liang Zhi is the person who understands him best in this world.

Yes, Liang Zhi understands him and knows that his nature is not bad, he likes this feeling very much.

So

Pretending to be affectionate, he thought that Liang Zhi also liked him, and hypnotized himself that his excellent self was more than enough for him. His arrogant self-esteem gradually became rampant, and he stubbornly believed that he was irreplaceable in Liang Zhi's heart.

So

That’s why I deliberately left my work until I was on vacation, so that I could see him more. When I heard that he was invited to the concert, I was so excited and proud. I kept pushing back and forth just to see how disappointed he was, so that I could reflect my own importance. .

So

After cheering and insomnia, I didn't fall asleep until the alarm clock was ringing. After dressing up carefully, I thought that this time, he would confess, thinking that the original him was just shy.

is it wrong?

So, is it wrong?

Should I honestly like it?Honest confession?

No, he said disgusting, he said disgusting.

Does he hate himself?

Yes.

Parents hated him

after school

classmate bullying

Yes, in fact, Yizhi is not as popular as imagined, and no one wants to be friends with him, so, in high school, only at the beginning, he was contacted, and it was less than a semester, and everyone avoided him.

It's not disdain, it's not that he doesn't care about the words behind him, he also hates himself like this, and wants to integrate into that environment well.

but

He was afraid that his classmates would look down on him, he was afraid that a stone would hit his head, he was afraid that he would be bruised all over his body by rumors, he was afraid that someone he knew would mention his stupid brother, and he was afraid that someone would say that his mother was a woman who was not even as good as sex... , lest someone mention that his father was a drunkard who drowned in water.

Afraid that someone would reveal that he was an abandoned waste product.

He is afraid of contact, and every time he comes into contact, he protects himself with sharp words like a hedgehog.

Gradually he hid his heart in the thorns.

Disdainful sarcastic remarks, regardless of slanderous words, just to prevent one's own feelings from flowing in, to cover the fragility with thorns, to protect the hedgehog in the heart with hard armor, to resist the dishonesty of the heart with spicy words, to resist the indifference that has long been of cowardice.

but

He still cried, crying for nothing, the hedgehog's skin was cut off, and the pain of tearing flesh and blood strangled the frailty.

27 years, the only expectation, the only friend, the only happiness, the only love.

Death

The wounded body by the word disgusting turned out to be self-indulgent, tragically performing this lonely dumb scene, chewing on this shame alone.

It turns out that being self-indulgent is so hurtful.

"If you don't like men, don't get so close. If you don't like men, don't do such misleading things. If you don't like them, don't follow me... It's like I'm secretly in love with you. What are you, worthy of me? Do that?"

He howled loudly, as bitterly as if he had been tricked.

The hot, moist touch slid across his mouth, and he pushed back to lick his dog in surprise.

"Pooh……"

He wiped his lips and kicked the people on the ground, "You're just a dog, don't get too carried away."

The dog yelled miserably, and sat opposite him, staring at the face of the first heavy rain.

"What are you looking at, do you look down on me? Do you think I am ashamed? Do you think I will not be liked by anyone? Tell you, there are many people who like me. As long as I give them money, everyone will like me, all..."

After choking, I couldn't cry, as if 27 years of life, 27 years of dark complaints accumulated in my heart, all vented out.

"Isn't it the same for mom? As long as you have money, you can sleep with others. As long as you have money, money, me, I won't be abandoned, and mom..."

He slapped himself hard, and said to himself nervously, "I don't need you, I... I don't want you first."

The hoarseness was covered by tears, and he threw himself on the bed, wrapping his sad body with a thin quilt.

In the dark room, there was no sobbing sound, the fool sat on the edge of the bed, looked at the back of the bed, stepped forward to stroke Yizhi's hair, silently looked at the person on the bed, until the curtain call at night.

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