[Exorcism] Broken Gears

Suddenly, the visit of two outsiders broke the peace of my whole world.

I always thought I was a vampire, but I was told that I was actually an "exorcist" and that the maid beside me was a "demon".

However, I will not leave with their so-called "companions".

So what if Aliarty is a demon?

She was the only one who was by my side the whole time.

We confessed everything to each other, and after resolving the misunderstanding, we decided to be together no matter what.

Even if you are against the earl of the millennium, against the sect, against the whole world...

It doesn't matter.

After hearing our decision, the red-haired boy was very surprised and tried to persuade me.

I don't want to hear anything, and I'm ready for the first battle.

Even if he can't defeat them, it would be considered a happy ending if he died here with Aliarty, right?

However, when he wanted to continue talking, he was stopped by the white-haired boy beside him.

His expression was very indifferent: "You can do whatever you want, but this will not lead to good results."

I do not believe.

I don't want to believe it.

As a result, Aliarty...

It blew up the next day.

......why?

Why is this so?

It's not easy for me to... get happiness.

Even if it's a fragile dream, please let it last a little longer, won't you?

Ah, why do I exist now?

It's just empty and living by instinct, it's nothing at all.

Might as well... die.

I don't want to miss a world without you.

Anyway, people like you will no longer appear in my life.

Aliarty...

I love you.

But you can't answer me anymore.

However, as soon as the white-haired boy who appeared opened his mouth, he immediately dispelled the idea of ​​committing suicide.

"Without you, no one can prove that she ever existed."

"Do you really want to die like this? Like this, disappearing from the world without a trace?"

Is it bad to do this?

So, what should we do?

What is the right choice to do? ! !

He hugged me before my body collapsed limply.

"Remember well..."

"Remember her, remember this sadness."

"And, take revenge on that person, on the count."

>>>>

Allen, who hugged Crowley tightly, half-closed his eyes, and the complicated expression disappeared in a blink of an eye.

It seems that this person.

Same as me, same as me before.

Put the meaning of all existence on one person.

However, it doesn't look like much.

Although what we long for are all to be loved and needed, the degrees are obviously different.

I can survive by using even a little bit of it--it doesn't matter whoever or what creature gives them.

I am very eager to be used, as if my heart is a little broken, right?

Because... At that time, even being used by my mother was a luxury.

In the extreme lack of love, the brain actually started to issue hypnotic commands by itself?

The spiritual will of human beings is really terrifying, even deceiving oneself can be so at ease.

In any case, relying on this seemingly strange instinct of desire, I survived without knowing it at the time.

However, what is false is always false.

The ridiculous ending of being killed by the mother is the evidence of irony.

Then, came the second world.

Disgusting ghetto, all a filthy look - otherwise it would be gone soon.

I, who have nothing to do, can only spend my days at a loss, enjoying killing people thoroughly.

Suddenly, the light of Mana shone into my life.

Since that day, the world has been completely different.

Don't wonder why, don't think about any doubts, and accept it easily from the bottom of your heart.

The meaning of existence quickly began to be reshaped.

want to......

be with him forever...

However, just as suddenly as Mana appeared, he left suddenly.

This warmth disappeared under the wheels.

But I can't go back to the self who was used to the darkness.

Fell into the cold black abyss.

It's like the whole world is falling apart.

Pain and uneasiness engulfed me, and I was so flustered that I wanted to die.

Knowing that crying and begging are completely useless, she completely abandoned reason.

In my heart, I kept screaming...

Who can come and save me.

However, even so, he still did not die.

The instinctive will to survive produced by long-term training is not allowed, whether it is physically or mentally.

Even though he understands that death is death, and that no matter how many things he does, it is futile, he still deceives himself and lives for Mana.

For Mana, we must live and move on.

For Mana, you must smile gently.

For Mana, you must wear a clown mask.

It's all about Mana...

It's all just reasons and excuses.

The idea of ​​survival is really scary, self-hypnosis or something, even the black can believe in the white in the heart.

Anyway, it will be more comfortable if you accept it, wouldn't it be good to accept it happily?

What a simple thing.

...It seems that those mentally retarded people who have been giggling all their lives are happier than anyone else.

I thought, in this way, I am afraid I will never be able to commit suicide.

Unless all the people who need my help disappear, all the companions who need my fighting together disappear, and all the demons who need my rescue disappear, then I may lose the belief in living.

People have to learn to be content.

So, being born as a monster-like exorcist is not something I can choose, but I still don't feel uncomfortable.

Until one day, dying in battle, I think, should also die without regret.

This life must be a very happy life.

>>>>

child holding a bunny doll

walk in the playground of dreams

Huge milky ferris wheel

colorful bright lights

mr fox in top hat

Puppets in colorful clothes

Clown with a smiling mask

appear one by one

surround yourself

under the rapid rhythm

light tap dance

Simultaneously

stretched out his hand

"Want to play together?"

little naive child

didn't think much about it

happily ran forward

just disappear with them

——"Allen, what song are you humming?"

- "It's nothing."

The author has something to say: Seeing that I have changed so many at once, I should leave a message... [Fuck], time is squeezed out!