Soot, Moonlight, Vodka

Xia Zhifeng fiddled with the studio for a while before going to sleep.

Lying on the bed, he thought about what he had said during the day.

He was thinking about why he confessed his self-loathing to Chen Zhuo, he would not usually say such things, and it would seem hypocritical to say so.

If a person like him who is healthy, good-looking, and not short of money still loathes himself, then who is worse than him?

Xia Zhifeng felt that he was really not qualified to be miserable.

But when Chen Zhuo asked like that, Xia Zhifeng had an impulse to speak out.

When he was dating Chen Zhuo as Lu Xingze before, he never said this to Chen Zhuo.

Although they have been together for four years, Lu Xingze seldom tells Chen Zhuo about himself, and even if Chen Zhuo asks, he will be perfunctory.

He thought that some things would be kept in his heart for the rest of his life and taken to the grave, so he chose not to confess to Chen Zhuo from the very beginning.

Maybe there is a kind of inertia in the communication between people. It takes a lot of courage to change your impression in the other person's heart, and you often just think about it.

Changing Xia Zhifeng's identity now is a good time to make a change, so he told Chen Zhuo his true opinion of himself.

This move made him restless for a long time.

Letting another person know his own thoughts and essence is a very dangerous thing for Xia Zhifeng, like opening his own shell and extending the softest and most fragile tentacles to the other party.

What would Chen Zhuo think...?

Xia Zhifeng looked at Chen Zhuo who was sleeping beside him. Chen Zhuo closed his eyes, but he knew that Chen Zhuo was not asleep.

He is too familiar with the state of Chen Zhuo really falling asleep. He has hugged him to sleep countless times before.

"Chen Zhuo, are you asleep?" He asked.

"No."

"What are you thinking about?"

Chen Zhuo opened his eyes and looked at Xia Zhifeng's face, which was covered with a thin layer of moonlight, looking a bit sad, even a bit unlike Xia Zhifeng.

Like Lu Xingze.

"I'm thinking about the reason for your self-loathing." Chen Zhuo said.

"Are you curious about me? Curiosity is the beginning of love." Xia Zhifeng laughed.

Chen Zhuo didn't speak.

"If we're still together ten years later, I'll tell you the reason." Xia Zhifeng's tone was half true, half false.

"Ten years..." Chen Zhuo said silently: "It seems that I can't hear the answer."

"Ok?"

"If our relationship lasts for half a year, it will be a golden wedding." Chen Zhuo laughed at himself, "It won't last."

"It's too pessimistic."

Chen Zhuo stared at the moonlight on the curtain silently, as if the moonlight will disappear tonight, and he and Xia Zhifeng will also end one day.

Nothing will never end, nothing will never come again, and nothing will come back again.

Chen Zhuo and Lu Xingze are over, Xia Zhifeng is here, but Chen Zhuo and Lu Xingze will never be able to do it again.

what can i do to keep you

I give you skinny streets

hopeless sunset

wild moon

I offer you the sorrow of a man who looks long and long at the lonely moon

Chen Zhuo closed his eyes and silently recited Borges' poems.

He felt sorry for Xia Zhifeng.

He could only treat Xia Zhifeng as a sexual partner, and he got a little bit of comfort from Xia Zhifeng's face that resembled Lu Xingze.

He, too, had become hateful and abominable.

Chen Zhuo fell asleep with this thought in mind. In his dream, his tail ring was accidentally lost. He was so anxious to search everywhere, but he couldn't find it anywhere.

The world is like a huge maze, there is no one in this maze, only himself, he is looking for such a small silver ring in the huge maze.

After waking up from the dream, he looked at his hand for the first time. The ring was still on his hand, eternal like a star.

Chen Zhuo breathed a sigh of relief, put the back of his hand on his forehead, and lay on the bed for a while.

Xia Zhifeng woke up earlier than him that day, and brought him steamed buns and glutinous rice porridge with wolfberry from the breakfast shop downstairs.

They are all his favorite food, I don't know where Xia Zhifeng found out about them.

"Chen Zhuo, you can't be such a workaholic anymore." Xia Zhifeng tore the steamed buns.

"how?"

"I heard from the crew yesterday that there is something wrong with the equipment and we can't film for a week, and now it's the skiing season." Xia Zhifeng looked at him with a smile: "I have taken a fancy to a very nice resort with a good environment. The price is cheap..."

"You go, I will reimburse you when you come back." Chen Zhuo blew on the porridge in the spoon.

Xia Zhifeng sighed: "Why should I go by myself, to see their couple cuddling and skiing to show their affection?"

"You can go with friends."

"You have to know, even if I am your pet, pets still have the desire to play with their owners." Xia Zhifeng rested his head on his arm, looked sideways at Chen Zhuo, and acted like a baby with Lu Xingze's face.

Chen Zhuo was unmoved.

The next day, Chen Zhuo and Xia Zhifeng appeared at the airport together, and Xia Zhifeng was in a sunny mood.

Take advantage of this time to cultivate your relationship well.

The author has something to say:

Thank you readers for "the heart is like fire", irrigate nutrient solution X2~

If I act like a baby, will there be comments and favorites? QAQ喵~