you go away or not

"Xiao Mo come home with me, go back to our home."

The gentle voice gnawed at the remaining resistance, Chen Mo almost agreed, but the word "good" slipped to his lips and turned around, and the thorn in his heart ached terribly at this moment , his brain was stung by the love words, and Chen Mo woke up from Xu Suze's gentle offensive.

Pushed away suddenly, before Xu Suze could react, his body fell to the ground, bursts of dull pain spread from everywhere, he stared blankly and grinned.In his peripheral vision, Chen Mo stumbled up from the ground and ran into the house as if escaping. The figure was quite embarrassed, like a cat driven into a desperate situation, in the midst of a big loss.

Seeing Chen Mo's flustered appearance, Xu Suze realized that he was too impulsive. He was so busy expressing his feelings that he forgot to untie Chen Mo's knots first. The sweet words just now must have messed up Chen Mo's mood and drove him to a dead end. inside.If you don't speak clearly, this person doesn't know what to think about.

Immediately getting up from the ground, Xu Suze hurriedly slammed the door behind him, and chased into the room. Just as he walked in, he didn't see anything clearly, when a pillow hit him head-on, hitting him hard on the face.This hit was extremely hard, but it really didn't hurt at all, no matter how hard you smashed a soft pillow, it was nothing more than that.

Xu Suze caught the falling pillow, embarrassed and helpless, he was about to explain but was shut up when Chen Mo scolded him.After Chen Mo yelled, he stared at Xu Suze with red eyes, obviously looking like he was about to cry, but he was gnashing his teeth as if he was about to pounce on someone.

"Xiao Mo, I..."

"Shut up for me first!" Chen Mo yelled and turned his back, his voice was crying, as if he was about to cry out.Xu Suze was worried that he wanted to get closer, and just after taking a step, he was stopped by Chen Mo, "Don't come close to me! I have something to tell you, just stand still."

I don't know how much Chen Mo suppressed himself, his voice became distorted and blurred.Xu Suze didn't dare to force him anymore, and stood there without moving. He was afraid of seeing Chen Mo collapse. Every time he saw it, he would feel as if his heart had been thrown into a meat grinder, and he was in great pain. .

"How cruel are you to make such a decision and treat me like this?"

"I am indeed not a girl, and I don't want to be treated as a girl, and I never expected to be treated so tenderly. But! Can't you let me mess around once? When have I messed around in all these years? Just this one time you don't let!"

"Let me hide for two days, let me play childish hide-and-seek with you, and then beg me to go back in a low voice. I will forgive you soon. I just want to do this. After all, I am so shameless. I feel ashamed to be played with by your family...but what have you done, what have you done!"

It's not hoarse, it's just a complaint, a complaint that suppresses the voice and emotions, but it's no more painful than that hoarse cry.

"I've already killed your father. I've been trying to make up for it all these years. I finally felt like I was going to get even. You did this kind of thing again. Why did you leave the Xu family? When will I want you and your mother?" Cut off the relationship? Xu Suze! Your self-righteousness will drive me crazy. "

During Xu Suze's summer vacation when he was admitted to university, their relationship was exposed for the first time. Xu Mian sent a private detective to investigate his son, and immediately found out about Chen Mo's existence.Xu Mian's heart had always been bad, and it was in a period of deterioration at that time, and he collapsed immediately after hearing the news. Fortunately, the attending doctor was by his side and rescued him in time.

After that, Chen Mo didn't see Xu Suze again for a month. Xu Mian was seriously ill, and Xu Suze had to take over all the work of his father, but they still kept in touch until the day Xu Mian passed away.After that, Chen Mo lost contact with Xu Suze completely. Chen Mo only knew that Xu Mian was dead, but nothing else.Amidst the self-blame and guilt, he gradually became thin and emaciated.His parents didn't know what was going on at all, and only thought that his son was under too much pressure in the third year of high school, so they took more care of him.

After half a month, when Xu Suze saw Chen Mo again, he could barely recognize him.Even he, who lost his father, and who has been busy for half a month to succeed him, is not as haggard as Chen Molai.The person who appeared in front of him had high cheekbones, fleshless cheeks, and deep-set eyes. He was neither human nor ghost, and Xu Suze almost shed tears in fright.

Those who don't know will definitely think that Chen Mo is the one whose father died.

Xu Mian's death was not an accident, his heart couldn't bear it long ago, and it was only supported by medicine before.Therefore, Xu Suze didn't feel much pain about his father's death. He was already mentally prepared, and it wouldn't be so difficult to accept it.People are born, aged, sick and die, Xu Suze has always understood this very clearly.What he didn't expect was that Chen Mo would blame himself so much, otherwise he wouldn't have stopped contacting him for half a month.Xu Suze spent eight hours comforting Chen Mo that day, telling Chen Mo the story over and over again, just to let him stop thinking about it. This matter really has nothing to do with him.

"Back then you said it wasn't my fault. You obviously lost your father. Because I lost my father, you didn't blame me or even vent your anger. You just comforted me like that."

"Now it's like this again!"

"What do you want me to do, how do you want me to face you? How will Chen Mo, who made you lose everything, be with you again?"

Gu Xiexi once said that Chen Mo is a very thoughtful person, and he is better at hiding than Luo Xiyu.Under Xu Suze's comfort back then, he was indeed healed, at least on the surface he returned to his previous appearance.But in these years, he has never really lived a day of comfort.

Just like the incident of being almost violated in junior high school, he hid it in his heart year after year, until he met Xu Suze before he was completely freed.As for Xu Mian's death, he couldn't get out of it.In the eyes of others, the most momentary guilt is a knot in his body, which cannot be untied no matter what.

Later, Xu Suze went to the United States, and after a while he was admitted to university. In that year, he did not discuss with anyone. He had a showdown with his parents, saying that he was gay, and then moved out, breaking ties with his family.He was alone at that time, and no one knew how he got here.

That was his self-punishment.

"Why do you think I have to endure her insults? Because she is your mother, I endured it for so long, but I just don't want things to develop to this point. And you wasted all my painstaking efforts and pushed everything I did into the sea, and pushed me, who just finally felt that I could be close to you, into the abyss."

"Xu Suze, you are too cruel."

[Xiao Mo Mo is such a tangled child, I hope you don't think he is hypocritical and coy, he is my son (╯﹏╰)]

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