Looking back and smiling

Chapter 1 Seventeen: The Red Rose and the White Rose

There are many rains in the Qingming season, and pedestrians on the road want to break their souls.

In Qingming, there is always light rain.

Holding a black umbrella, Li Xiao slowly walked towards the depths of the cemetery holding a bouquet of lilies.

There are many grave-sweeping people in the cold food yearning, with memories and nostalgia, and sometimes, it is also a habit to send prayers to relatives who have passed away.

In the deep northwest corner of the cemetery, there is no human habitation. The moss on the bluestone slab is thicker than the last time I came, and there are some weeds growing around it. The strong fragrance of grass makes this desolate place a little bit of life.

This row of tombs is all empty. Walking down this row of empty tombs, there is a lonely tomb. The photo on the lonely tombstone has faded from the color of the past and has become blurred, but the face of the owner of the tomb can be vaguely seen , a pair of beautiful peach eyes, a beautiful curly hair, with inherent nobility and glamor.

Li Xiao walked to the tomb, he saw a bouquet of white roses in front of the tomb, he didn't pay much attention to it, thinking it was An Ziyu who came to visit the tomb first and left it behind.He gently placed the lily in his hand beside the tomb, and tidied up the weeds on both sides.

"You're here." Li Xiaogang finished pulling out the weeds, when he heard a voice behind him, he turned his head and saw An Ziyu holding a black umbrella and holding a bunch of evergreen bamboos in his arms.

"Before I knew it, it's been seven years." An Ziyu put the evergreen bamboo in his arms next to the white rose, "Every Qingming, coming here has become a habit from remembrance... this?" An Ziyu just said After finishing, I saw a bouquet of lilies beside the bouquet of white roses.

Li Xiao said: "Someone should have been here before." Judging from An Ziyu's reaction, he knew that he did not buy the white rose. There were only a few raindrops on the petals of the white rose. The person who gave the flower should have come this morning. of.

"People? Who else but us?" An Ziyu just picked up the bouquet of white roses when a card fell from it.Li Xiao picked up the card, and there was a sentence written on it——

Leisan, Saxi ignored her.

Both Li Xiao and An Ziyu understood that it was a homonym in Japanese, meaning: Sister, long time no see.

An Ziyu's eyes suddenly widened, and Li Xiao's hand holding the card trembled slightly.

An Ziyu put down the white rose, turned to look at Li Xiao, and said, "He's back." He didn't ask him, it was just a statement.

Li Xiao stared blankly at the white rose in front of the tomb, the petals were covered with rain and dew, after a long time, this will also become the bright moonlight in front of the window.

At least, this white rose is the bright moonlight in Li Xiao's heart that can no longer be touched.

Seeing that Li Xiao was silent, An Ziyu didn't speak either. The man in front of him was already 41 years old. During the eight years since he left, he had never married a wife.In the first year, he took care of Yang Nisha in the hospital. During the seven years after Yang Nisha passed away, he rented a small shop near the back door of C University to sell dumplings. Samoyed and a turtle.

Sloppy, with messy hair and an unshaven face, he looks like a man in his 50s.Only every Qingming Festival, he would clean up the ones he picked up a little bit, and go to the flower shop next to C University to buy a bunch of flowers and come here.

It's just that the ones I picked up are cleaner, which can't hide the vicissitudes left by the years.The originally handsome and bright face became indifferent, and gradually, the indifference was gone, there was no expression, and there would be no more expression.I even forgot how to laugh and how to cry.

Li Xiao stood quietly in front of the tomb.

Rain stopped.

An Ziyu put away the umbrella, seeing that Li Xiao still didn't respond, sighed, turned around and left slowly.

When he walked out of the gate of the cemetery, a man in a white shirt passed him by. He was too familiar with the figure of that man, and he still had that feeling...

An Ziyu turned her head suddenly, but saw many people in the cemetery holding bouquets of flowers and paper money with incense sticks, but the man was nowhere to be seen.

"Hehehe..." He thought of something, suddenly laughed, and did not look for the figure of the man in white.

In the past eight years, An Ziyu's style remained the same, and he inherited the position of the Patriarch of the Yue Opera An Family.This low-browed smile, regarded as Qingcheng, made many passers-by bewildered by that smile.He didn't pay attention to these, and he took a taxi and left the cemetery.

Li Xiao was still standing in front of the tomb, the rain had stopped, and he was still holding the black umbrella in his hand.

The footsteps of stepping on the bluestone slab came from far to near, and the footsteps were very light. If it wasn't for stepping on the puddles on the bluestone slab, it would be almost inaudible.

Feeling that the footsteps stopped beside him, Li Xiao slowly turned his head and looked at the person who walked over.

"Li Xiao, long time no see." The voice is still so gorgeous, but it is less immature than before, more mature and sexy, and seems to have a little smile and disdain.

He thought he still remembered the man's appearance, but when he saw him, he found that he had forgotten what he looked like, or the man in front of him was not the man he remembered.

In my memory, that child always likes to smile heartlessly, his eyes reflect when he sees delicious food, and the money in the bag will never allow anyone to make decisions. .Now, the man in front of him is also smiling, with a slight smile on his face, but no smile in his eyes, looking at everything in this world with cold eyes.

And in the past eight years, he has grown older, but he has become more and more beautiful.The facial features have been opened, and they are more delicate and beautiful. The pupils are cut by autumn water, and the teeth are bright, but it looks like a person walking out of a painting.

Seeing that Li Xiao didn't say anything, Yang Zhou smiled and called out, "Daddy."

Li Xiao was stunned, and then he realized that it was not that he had forgotten his appearance, but that he was a stranger when he met him, and he was just a stranger in his eyes, just like he called his name just now .

"Long time no see." After a while, Li Xiaocai replied.

The breeze blows slowly, blowing the bouquet of flowers in front of the tomb. The small raindrops on the petals tremble slightly, and the adjacent drops come together to form a drop of water, which slowly slides down along the petals. On the platform in front of the tomb.

They haven't seen each other for eight years, maybe when they parted they thought they would never see each other again in this life, so neither of them knew what to say.

After a while, Li Xiao asked, "How do you know this place?"

No one knew about Yang Nisha's death except him and An Ziyu, and no one knew that she was buried here.Yangzhou was the first to visit the tomb this morning, and seeing An Ziyu's reaction to the bouquet of white roses later, it didn't seem like he told Yangzhou.

Yangzhou looked at Li Xiao, although there was still a little smile on his face, but there was no smile in his eyes, and he said calmly, "Guess."

"Guess what?"

Yangzhou knelt down, tidied up the bouquet of flowers in front of the grave, and said, "I seem to have guessed some things you lied to me." Yangzhou said it easily, but Li Xiao felt nervous, opened his mouth, and found that he didn't know anything at all. know how to explain.

While arranging the bouquet, Yangzhou said lightly, "That's fine."

"Zhouzhou..." Li Xiao's voice trembled.It's been eight years since he called out this name for the first time, but he found that the two words became strange.

Yangzhou said: "Sister's favorite flower is roses."

Li Xiao didn't know what kind of flowers Yang Nisha liked. In fact, he didn't know her at all. During the year of taking care of her in the hospital, she sometimes acted purely like a child, sometimes like a scheming conspirator, and sometimes She was dumbfounded again.

But...she was poor.

A poor man.

Yang Zhou gently tidied up the bouquet of roses, and suddenly felt pain in his fingertips, and saw that the fingertips of his index finger were stabbed by rose thorns.

Li Xiao took out a tissue from his bag and handed it to him.

Yang Zhou didn't take the tissue, but squeezed out the blood from his fingertips.

Li Xiao looked at the tip of his stabbed index finger, a drop of blood dripped on the petals of the white rose, melted with the original raindrops, and spread out, like a delicate cinnabar mole on a woman's heart.

Yang Zhou said, "A drop of cinnabar mole is also a touch of mosquito blood."

Li Xiao didn't understand what Yang Zhou was talking about.

Yang Zhou smiled, put his index finger in his mouth and took a sip, a faint sweet smell spread out of his mouth.

"Red roses and white roses." Yangzhou explained.

Only then did Li Xiao realize that the cinnabar mole and mosquito blood referred to the red rose in Zhang Ailing's novel "Red Rose and White Rose".

He seemed to know what Yangzhou was going to say.

"Marry a red rose, and over time, the red one will become a smear of mosquito blood on the wall, but the white one will still be the moonlight in front of the bed. Marry a white rose, and the white one will become a grain of rice on your clothes, while the red one will become a grain of rice on your clothes." The cinnabar mole on my heart." After Yang Zhou finished speaking, he smiled and turned to Li Xiao. "Daddy, do you still like me?"

Li Xiao was taken aback, he didn't need to think about this question at all, he undoubtedly liked him, he had always liked him.But he knew that he had let go once, and this love no longer belonged to him.Even now, he doesn't regret letting go eight years ago, because it was atonement for everything he had done.

Do you still like me?

These few words made Li Xiao seem to see hope. He originally thought that he would never see each other again in this life, but he came back, he finally came back.

It was hard to hide the joy in his eyes, and he became a little embarrassed.He found that he was old, so would he be unworthy of him, maybe he was still a handsome guy.When he went back, he had to shave his beard clean first, and then comb his hair. This messy hairstyle made him look like a middle-aged uncle who was over half a century old, and he was finally shopping for some nice clothes.

Seeing the happiness on Li Xiao's face, Yang Zhou lowered his eyes slightly, looked at the white rose in front of the tomb, and asked without any tone: "You like it, right?"

Li Xiao nodded.

"That's because I am the cinnabar mole on your heart and the bright moonlight in front of the window to you now." Yangzhou said lightly. "After a long time, I will also turn into rice grains and mosquito blood."

"No." As soon as the words came out, Li Xiao suddenly found that his words were so feeble.It wasn't that he doubted his feelings for Yangzhou, but...he found that he couldn't face him at all.

What happened eight years ago is still vivid in his mind, he can't forget it, and he can't forget it either.

"If you lose it, you will find that it is the best. If you still have it, it will become tasteless." Yangzhou smiled wryly. "During that time in the United States, I discovered that it was not you who failed me, but I who failed you."

Li Xiao clenched the handle of the umbrella in his hand, he didn't know what Yangzhou's words meant.

Yangzhou didn't explain what he meant just now, but continued: "So, it's impossible for us. Why don't you just let me be your bright moonlight and cinnabar mole?" He didn't dare to look at Li Xiao, The hand that touched the bouquet was also trembling.

It rained all night, and after a while, the sun finally poked its head out from the clouds. The sun shone on the puddles on the bluestone slabs, reflecting colorful colors.

"I understand." After a long time, Li Xiao said slowly.

"sorry."

"Don't say these three words." Li Xiao smiled slightly, but his heart was extremely bitter.

"I'm sorry." Yang Zhou realized that these three words were all he could say.

"That's right." Li Xiao put away his umbrella, took out a USB flash drive from his bag and gave it to him. "Here's what you need."

Yangzhou took the USB flash drive and said sincerely, "Thank you."

These two words made Li Xiao feel an inexplicable pain in his heart, and he stabbed it like a needle.He knelt down and said to Yang Zhou: "I'm sorry, I should have said these three words eight years ago, maybe everything that happened later would not have happened."

"If everything is destined to be good, it can't be changed at all." Yangzhou looked at the blurred photo on the tombstone indifferently. "It's impossible to go back to the past, and it's no longer necessary to talk about it."

Li Xiao called softly: "Zhouzhou..."

Yangzhou got up, straightened his clothes, looked at the sun poking out of the sky, and there were a few orioles chirping softly in the forest. They were laughing and having no complicated thoughts. All that was left for them was joy and happiness.

Yang Zhou couldn't help laughing, and walked a few steps towards the other side of the path paved with bluestone slabs, without turning back, he said with a light smile, "Why don't we play a game, we all walk in opposite directions, if we can meet one day, we Just be together again?"

Li Xiao was slightly taken aback, and then said: "The earth is round." Li Xiao looked at Yang Zhou's back, and he found that he had lost weight, as if a gust of wind could blow him down. "I will definitely meet you, definitely!" His voice became a little choked, his eyes were sore, and he wanted to cry, but found that he couldn't cry at all.

"Okay, that's it." Yang Zhou didn't look back, and continued walking forward.

Looking at the gradually shrinking figure, Li Xiao suddenly said: "Baibai misses you very much, and so does the old man." He grasped the bluestone board with his ten fingers, his fingertips were already bleeding, but he didn't know it.

Because, the heart hurts more.

In the end, it was just moonlight, and it was just a cinnabar mole.

The figure that was drifting away didn't look back until it was out of sight, and didn't look back either.

left...

Maybe, only he himself knows that he didn't look back because he didn't dare to look back.

The one who let go was not Li Xiao, but himself.

When he was in the United States, he found a copy of Yang Nisha's medical records in the book.When I shared the room with Li Xiao, I lived in Yang Nisha's former house, so Yang Nisha should have left this medical record, but I took it away without noticing it when I packed my luggage.

That medical record said it was an early stage cancer.

Recalling what Yang Nisha said before, he seemed to understand a little bit, and a Chinese friend he met in the United States was an orphan before, and he was in an orphanage with Li Xiao, and he told himself that Li Xiao was Hengyu's adopted son.

So all this gradually became clear.If those things were not done by Yang Nisha, then she was taking the responsibility for someone else, and that person was undoubtedly Li Xiao.

Because she likes Li Xiao, Yang Nisha is afraid that she will be sad, and she is just a dying person.

In fact, if he had said it at the beginning, he would not have hated him, because he knew that man——Daddy really liked him.

I wish to have one heart and one mind, never leave each other...isn't it...

But he didn't say it.

He didn't say anything until he left China.

Yang Chengxian and Hengyu cooperated in the urban garden project. He asked domestic private investigators to investigate the relationship between the two, and found that they had a close relationship a long time ago, so...the truth of what happened back then is easy to guess.

only……

He didn't choose to come back, nor did he choose to go to Li Xiao to explain everything, but stayed in the United States alone.

But now, he intentionally waited for An Ziyu to appear in front of Li Xiao after he left, just to...Yangzhou looked at the USB flash drive in his hand.

He is familiar with Li Xiao, and he knows that Li Xiao will definitely keep some evidence from that year.

He smiled, just like the sunny day after the rain, his smile was like a flower.

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