Thoughts

The acquaintance with the boys is not very special, it's just that they happened to participate in the same activity and were assigned to the same group.Although I was not used to cooperating with strangers at the beginning, the lively factor in my personality quickly became active, chatting, gossiping about the people around me, and occasionally playing pranks.Both of them are extroverts, and they quickly became acquainted.Even so, the two were just ordinary friends, and the relationship became better after that incident.

Song Yijiu has a boyfriend, they are not in the same school, they are in a long-distance relationship.The boyfriend is in N City, which is thousands of miles away from C City. The love between Song Yijiu and her boyfriend is maintained through unstable radio waves across thousands of miles.Nevertheless, the relationship between the two is still gluey.During festivals, her boyfriend will call to congratulate her, and order gifts for Song Yijiu from afar, such as cakes, flowers, gloves, plush toys, snacks, necklaces, etc.During long holidays, her boyfriend will come to her to travel with her.People around are very envious and often say to her: "Yijiu, your boyfriend treats you so well." Song Yijiu feels that she is the happiest person in the world.Shen Duanrui once said to her who was smiling brightly because of the gift: "It's a silly smile." But then added: "However, happiness is very good."

One Christmas, because there were no classes near the end of the term, and there were four days of free time, Song Yijiu planned to go to N City to find her boyfriend, and wanted to give him a surprise.Recently, because he is busy, the contact between the two has been reduced a lot.Thinking that it was always my boyfriend who came to me across thousands of mountains and rivers, and I didn't seem to do anything for him, I can finally do something this time.With such thoughts in mind, Song Yijiu happily booked a ticket to N City, imagining her boyfriend's surprised expression when he saw her, and he was in a good mood unconsciously.After class the first day, Song Yijiu got on the train to N City.The wilderness is very quiet at night, and countless stars are twinkling in the sky, illuminating the windows of the train.Lying on the seat, Song Yijiu looked at the sky full of stars, his boyfriend's gentle smile appeared in his mind, and he fell asleep sweetly.

The next night the train finally arrived in City N, Song Yijiu took a taxi with his bag on his back and headed to her boyfriend's school.I specially bought a cake from the cake shop outside the school, packed it well and carried it carefully.Then based on his memory, he found the location of his dormitory that his boyfriend had mentioned, and Song Yijiu called him while standing downstairs.

"Hello, dear, happy Christmas Eve!"

"Happy Christmas Eve! I'm sorry, I've been too busy to call you recently." A boy's gentle voice came from the other end of the phone.

"It's all right! What are you doing now?"

"I'm working on my thesis in the dormitory. Also, I miss you. It would be great if you were by my side. I will finish my thesis with full energy."

"Hee hee, really? Then let me come and see you, okay?" Song Yijiu blinked mischievously, a little cunningly trying to pull off a prank.

"Really. If you want to come, I will run to pick you up right away."

"Haha, then you..." Come downstairs.

Before he finished speaking, Song Yijiu suddenly lost his words.On the boulevard not far from the dormitory, the boy who was supposed to be writing a thesis in the dormitory was talking on his mobile phone. It seemed that the other party hadn't spoken, so he picked up the phone and looked.The faint light shone on his face, revealing the boy's gentle eyebrows.A girl suddenly approached from behind and covered his eyes.The boy took off her hand, put it to his mouth and let out a breath, warming the girl's hand.The girl put her arm around the boy's wrist, showing intimacy.The boy looked at the girl dotingly, reached out and stroked the girl's head, and put the phone back to his ear.

"Yijiu, what were you trying to say just now?"

Only then did Song Yijiu come back to his senses, holding the phone tightly with his cold hands, trying to suppress the turbulent emotions in his heart, and said in a very ordinary voice: "It's nothing, I want to say, then you can write your thesis, I won't bother you You, that's it, goodbye." After finishing speaking, he hung up the phone.

Song Yijiu watched the boy look at the phone, then put the phone in his pocket, smiled and walked forward holding the girl's hand, and disappeared at the end of the dark avenue.

Clenching the cake box in his hand, gritting his teeth to prevent the unknown liquid from falling from his eyes, Song Yijiu turned and left without stopping.She bought a ticket for the return journey, and sat on the train blankly with her schoolbag and cake box in her arms, looking out the window at the scenery she admired just yesterday.Her eyes were astringent and her heart was bitter, but her expression was very calm, with no waves visible.

It's not that I haven't worried about long-distance love, but every time I hear his promise to me and everything he has done for myself, my heart naturally believes that this love can last forever.It's not that I didn't notice his indifference, but I kept telling myself that I should trust him and not casually suspect.Even if he finally decides to separate, he will be the first to tell himself, because he will not lie to himself.However, all the trust and all the psychological construction were shattered when seeing boys and girls holding hands and smiling at each other.Since you don't like it anymore and want to separate, why lie to yourself?

At ten o'clock in the evening on the third day of the trip, Song Yijiu returned to City C. Unlike the previous excitement and joy, she came back full of grievances and sadness.Walking out of the station, I wanted to pay for the car and go back, but found that I couldn't find my wallet anyway. After thinking about it, it might have been stolen.Song Yijiu fell weakly on the steps by the side of the street, the cold wind kept hitting her face and pouring into her clothes, she was shivering from the cold.Seeing the lights and festoons all over the street, the festive atmosphere is festive, and couples embracing each other can be seen from time to time, and the patience in my heart is about to reach its limit.

"I finally understand / The love I want / Can't be in the future without you / There is no new love to let me go / Your old love / I finally understand / Will retreat and fail / Give you to him because I love it too much / I should get used to it / turned sideways and threw you away..."

The cell phone rang suddenly, Song Yijiu answered it, and Shen Duanrui's smiling voice came from the other end of the phone: "Hi, I'm here to annoy you! Meet your boyfriend? Did you have a good time today? Oh, it must be La! That’s great! I’m so bored as a loner. Will your boyfriend be angry if I call you? Haha! Tell him not to worry, I have no extravagant thoughts. Ah, yes, when I come back Bring me a special product, I haven't been to N City yet... Hey, why don't you talk?"

"I..." Song Yijiu tried his best to suppress himself from crying, but he couldn't continue after saying a word.

Shen Duanrui on the other end of the phone seemed to be aware of her abnormality, and became serious: "What's wrong?"

Song Yijiu took a deep breath, wiped his eyes, and held the phone tightly: "I... the station... I lost my wallet... I can't come back..."

"What about your boyfriend? You asked him to help..." Shen Duanrui paused, "You mean you've come back, at the station in City C, but you lost your wallet and can't come back?"

"...Mmm." Song Yijiu sniffed and responded in a low voice.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few seconds, and then I heard the sound of cloth rubbing: "You wait for me in a safer place, I'll pick you up, and I'll call you when I arrive."

Song Yijiu listened to what he said, walked back to the station, and found a brighter place with more people to sit at the entrance of the station.

It was already 11:30 when Shen Duanrui found her, and there were hardly any pedestrians on the road. Song Yijiu sat alone on the steps in front of the station with a bag on his back, holding a cake box in one hand.

"Song Yijiu."

Hearing someone calling him, Song Yijiu raised his head, and saw Shen Duanrui standing in front of him, breathing heavily, with the street lamp behind him dyeing his hair orange.

"Let's go back."

"Ah."

Song Yijiu wanted to stand up, but found that because he had kept one position for too long, his legs were numb and he couldn't move.

"Are your legs numb?"

Song Yijiu nodded, and then saw Shen Duanrui walking to his side and embracing her shoulders, slowly helping her up, supporting her to stand where she was for a while, before the numbness gradually subsided.

"Can I go now?"

"Okay."

Shen Duanrui took Song Yijiu's bag and the cake box in his hand, and walked beside her, holding her hand in case she hadn't fully recovered from the fall.

Song Yijiu wanted to go back to her home, but compared to Shen Duanrui's home, her home was too far away from the station.It's so late now, Shen Duanrui sees that she doesn't look okay, so he proposes to go to his house.

"Don't worry, I promise that I have absolutely no extravagant thoughts and will not do anything to you." Shen Duanrui swore with his right hand and looked at her seriously.

Song Yijiu was amused by him: "Generally, people who say such things should be worthy of vigilance."

"I'm telling the truth! I'm a very upright and kind person!"

"Yeah." Song Yijiu nodded perfunctorily, causing Shen Duanrui's dissatisfaction again.

It was almost one o'clock in the morning when we arrived at Shen Duanrui's house.Shen Duanrui asked Song Yijiu to take a bath to warm up his body, while he went to the kitchen to fiddle with himself.

On the way, Shen Duanrui asked Song Yijiu if he had eaten, and Song Yijiu replied that he hadn't eaten since last night.

"Then why don't you eat cake?" He said and picked up the cake box in his hand, "Could it be empty?" He turned upside down, "There is something."

Song Yijiu looked at the cake box and said nothing.

Shen Duanrui knows that his craft is not very good, and he doesn't know how to make anything, but it is still possible to cook a bowl of noodles.When Song Yijiu came out of the bathroom, a bowl of hot noodles was placed on the table.

"Thank you."

"What are you being polite about, as long as you don't find it unpalatable."

Shen Duanrui sat down beside him and asked Song Yijiu, "Why did you come back so soon? Shouldn't you come back tomorrow? Is your boyfriend willing?"

Song Yijiu, who was eating noodles, paused with his chopsticks, and then moved again, but Song Yijiu buried his head even lower.

Shen Duanrui guessed that something unhappy happened, so he didn't ask any more questions.

"He has someone else."

When Shen Duanrui packed up the dishes and came out of the kitchen, Song Yijiu, who had been sitting on the sofa in silence, said.

Shen Duanrui went to sit beside her.

"I bought a cake and stood downstairs, trying to surprise him. He said he was writing a thesis in the dormitory, but I saw him outside, with a girl."

"What if you... misunderstand? They may be ordinary friends..."

"He held the girl's hand in front of him, breathed out to warm her, touched her head, and then walked away holding her hand, with a smile on his face and doting eyes in his eyes."

Shen Duanrui didn't know how to comfort him. Hearing this, it was obviously not a misunderstanding, it was the boy who had a new love.

"I also know that the relationship between the two of us will not last long, and I know that one day he or I will get tired of this kind of life, and then the two of us will separate, but I just think, if we can be together as much as we can, we can be together as much as possible. The warmer is the warmer, so even if I have doubts in my heart, I always tell myself in my heart to believe and persist. But... since he has others, why is he so perfunctory? Tell me directly No? Say 'I'm tired of this life', 'I'm in love with someone else', 'Let's break up' and I get it. I don't mean to be a stalker, I just... hope I like it People can clearly tell me his thoughts at the first time, instead of making me feel happy or sad because of his words or actions... full of joy, I traveled thousands of mountains and rivers to see him and others. I'm... I'm just..."

Song Yijiu clutched his clothes tightly with both hands, bit his lip, and kept his eyes open, not wanting to cry, but the tears kept falling from his eyes uncontrollably.Shen Duanrui looked at her red eyes, sighed softly, and hugged her in his arms: "If you want to cry, cry happily, let everything about him flow out of your heart through tears, and then have a good sleep. It's a new day, tomorrow, you will be happy Song Yijiu again."

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..."

The last string finally broke, and could no longer bear the pain and grievance in his heart, Song Yijiu grabbed Shen Duanrui's clothes, leaned against his chest and cried out, his voice was distressed, and his clothes were wet with tears.Shen Duanrui just hugged her quietly and gently patted her on the back to comfort her.

Thinking about it carefully, it was thanks to Shen Duanrui that Song Yijiu didn't turn himself into a ghost during that time.Finally, on the last day of that year, she peacefully broke up with her boyfriend and ended the relationship.Shen Duanrui has seen Song Yijiu's ugliest appearance, and he was with her when she was most vulnerable. Although he couldn't say anything useful, Song Yijiu knew that even if he was in the most helpless situation, he would definitely be by his side and tell her I am not alone.

In the evening, Shen Duanrui's fever finally subsided, and Song Yijiu made light porridge for him, and urged him to take the medicine before leaving.

"Have a good rest, cover the quilt at night, and I will come to see you tomorrow."

"As ordered."

After taking a bath, Shen Duanrui lay on the bed and couldn't fall asleep. He slept for too long in the afternoon, but now he is very awake.Wanting to call Mu Dongchen, he took out his phone and found out his number, but when it came time, he gave up again.

Don't know what to say.

Throwing the phone aside, Shen Duanrui turned sideways, staring at the light coming in from the gap in the curtains, in a daze, and fell asleep until the medicine took effect.