atypical romanticism

The city was wrapped in a gray mist, and at the breakfast stalls on Central Street, sporadic conversations and the rustling of sweeping the floor together played the prelude to awakening the steel forest.

The sound of vehicles honking and the "tapping" of high-heeled shoes on the asphalt road blended together, spreading from Central Avenue to West Fifth Ring Road, and finally the voices of gossip with grandma poured into the dark and cramped old house. Yu's legs jerked, and he opened his eyes abruptly, waking up with her, accompanied by needle-like pain in her chest and unstoppable nausea in her stomach.

She struggled and fumbled wildly on the bedside table, and the bottles and jars that were not neatly arranged were even more distorted. In the chaos, those hands like "wind and clouds" finally found a plastic bag.

Zhou Yu tremblingly put the hood in the bag, and the sound made by the plastic bag was as noisy as ten thousand birds singing in her ears at the same time.

The needle-like pain subsided, and she pulled the bag off. The blue "Shanghua People's Hospital wishes you good health!" on the bag seemed to be a sarcasm.

Looking at that sentence, she felt unspeakably depressed.

Fortunately, the alarm clock rang and rescued her from the eye of the storm.

She sat at the head of the bed, like an unconscious stupor, letting the alarm clock make noise, and the breeze came in through the narrow slits, enveloping the sunlight and blowing the medical records scattered on the desk—Zhou Yu, female, 26 years old, manic-depressed Syndrome (Type II), three years.

The half-slanted sunlight filled the room, illuminating the originally dark room. Today is a fine day with clear skies and warm sunshine, but she feels bitingly cold.

In a daze, the phone screen lit up, and message notifications filled the entire room like a series of cannonballs.

——Mom: "Shanghua is going to cool down these days, remember to add clothes."

Design team Emily: "Xiao Zhou, help, the child can't draw~"

Dr. Li Zhi from the Psychiatry Department of Shanghua People's Hospital: "Xiao Zhou, remember to come to the hospital this afternoon."

Zhou Yu looked at these WeChat messages, the more he looked at them, the more aggrieved he became, and he waved them in the air—won’t he figure out a way if he can’t draw them?Is it useful to find me?

Am I blind?Can't I read the weather forecast?Why do you have to send me WeChat for such a trivial matter?

Will I die if I don't go to the hospital?

——It seems that he will really die.

In an instant, the sense of powerlessness that came from stepping on the waves crushed the unprovoked anger.

She was like a foam board thrown into the deep sea, mistakenly thinking that she had conquered the ocean and was complacent, but in the end she was entangled tightly by seaweed.

Zhou Yu could feel her vitality draining away, she desperately wanted to catch the draining power, but a voice whispered softly beside her ear: "Stop struggling, it's all futile."

Depression/depression is like a black dog hiding in an alley, always appearing suddenly when she doesn't expect it, and then relentlessly following her, unable to escape or shake off, in the end, she is blocked in a dead end, the black dog is wanton It devoured her vitality fiercely, suppressed her will, and finally took away her desire for life.

Everyone told her that it was better to be alive than dead, even if she became a waste who could do nothing but breathe, but living like this could be defined as "alive"?

If being able to breathe is "alive", then what is the difference between humans and animals.

Most people live half their lives without knowing what they like, but they can list what they don't like in one breath—she hates herself being entangled by a black dog.

Zhou Yu looked at the mobile phone she had thrown on the other side of the bed, the pride that remained in his heart made it a life-saving straw for granted.

——"I see, the temperature at home seems to be cooling down soon, you and my dad also remember to add clothes."

"Just saw it, don't worry, come on!"

"Thank you, Dr. Li, for your concern. I'm not feeling well today... No way," she deleted the typed words, "I can't post like this."

Cut it off for a long time, but still said the same thing as before: "Understood, thank you, Dr. Li."

The phone became quiet again, Zhou Yu turned off the screen, and staggered into the living room. He wanted to pour himself a glass of water, but when his hand was about to touch the water glass, his vision went dark, and he hit the back of his head on the floor. There was a muffled sound.

She looked at the yellowed crystal chandelier on the ceiling, the crystal pendant reflected countless hers, each pale and hollow.

"That's all about The Walking Dead," she thought.

The crystal lamp in front of her eyes became more and more unpleasant, Zhou Yu struggled to get up, and there was a slow creaking sound from her back, she picked up the glass in hand and threw it towards the crystal lamp.

Naturally, the glass failed to shatter the lamp. Instead, it was martyred and shattered into glass shards.

Sunlight fell on the broken glass, and the golden wall was cut into sporadic fragments by mottled shadows.

Zhou Yu stared at them intently, and the busy sound of inferior chalk across the blackboard suddenly sounded in his ears.

Suddenly, the busy tone turned into a nightmare-like curse: "Who the hell do you think you are! You are as meddling as your mother!"

"Since we can't see us bullying him, then let's bully you." She couldn't see the speaker's face clearly, and could only vaguely confirm that she was a girl, "Take off her clothes and let us see, Yu Hong That old lady's daughter is not in vain."

"I can't see it, Xueba, it's quite predictable, just look at it and owe/fuck."

"Born scum!"

Inferior flashlights and harsh laughter surrounded her, Zhou Yu's body trembled uncontrollably, and with trembling hands he picked up the last glass on the coffee table and threw it at it.

"Broken Peace" crushed the nightmare, Zhou Yu huddled in the corner of the sofa, thin blood oozes from his bare toes, blood-colored roses fell on the white sofa, his weak voice became louder and louder: "Why don't you To/die?"

The moment his sight caught a glimpse of the broken glass, a gleam of light flashed in Zhou Yu's dark eyes.

Dark red drops of blood flowed down the lines on her arms, splashing dark red ripples, and the bloodstains were like vines, wrapping around her pale legs.

The smell of blood in the air seemed to mock silently.

Zhou Yu's eyes were covered with fog, he staggered up, picked up the piece of glass, and muttered to himself: "I'm not, I'm not..."

The warm water droplets were like a sudden autumn rain, drenching her thoroughly.

There were mottled bloodstains on the white nightdress, and the flesh of the wound was soaked in water and turned pale, like an out-of-date can lying in the slopping garbage dump, eaten by wild dogs beyond recognition.

Rancid, disgusting.

The moment his pale face sank into the water, the doorbell rang like a reminder.

With a jolt, she was mostly awake.

The grandma at the opposite door took the lead and scolded: "What are you doing, you little bastard!"

Zhou Yu, who was explained by someone outside the door, didn't hear clearly, but the spirit of going away for a long time slowly returned, and she tremblingly turned off the shower switch with her hand trembling with pain. She glanced at the blood that had been washed away, and smiled wryly—— Her No.30 triple suicide/suicide ended again with "Attempted".

When Zhou Yu came out of the bathroom and was leaning against the wall in a daze, there was another knock on the door.

She staggered to the door, leaned over the peephole and looked out—it was a strange woman who knocked on the door, to be precise, a strange woman with stunning looks.

The golden sunlight gently covered her, and a pair of eyes with a gentle smile looked at Zhou Yu.

Zhou Yu struggled for a while between pretending to be deaf and opening the door, and finally opened a crack in the door, stuck out half of his head, looked at her vigilantly, and asked, "May I ask, are you..."

Before she finished speaking, she stretched out a hand in front of her, and introduced herself generously: "Hello, my name is Xiang Sheng. I just moved here not long ago. I haven't come to say hello to my new neighbors. I'm here to make up for it today."

Zhou Yu's eyes fell on Xiang Sheng's hands. They were very beautiful hands, white and slender, with well-defined knuckles and neatly trimmed nails, in stark contrast to her scarred hands.

Zhou Yu frowned slightly, as if he had heard this name somewhere before.

She stared at Xiang Sheng's face, but still couldn't figure out why, so she simply looked away, put her hands behind her back, and said coldly, "Zhou Yu."

No one likes to let others comment on their cowardice, Zhou Yu would rather let the visitor leave by being rude than admiring the complex expressions of others who are three-point shocked and seven-point contemptuous.

But Xiang Sheng seemed to be born with the ability not to be afraid of embarrassment. She took her hand back and handed over a gift box: "We will all be neighbors in the future, please give me your advice."

Zhou Yu was speechless, and slandered: This person is an old antique from that era, who in modern times still engage in such a thing?

Zhou Yu sized Xiang Sheng up and asked, "You were the one who smashed my door just now?"

"Yes," Xiang Sheng nodded and explained, "I rang the doorbell for a long time and no one answered, I thought something happened, if I got scared..."

Zhou Yu interrupted her impatiently, leaning against the door, and poorly imitated the hooligans who harass the good people: "You have delayed my work."

Xiang Sheng was taken aback: "Huh?"

She met Shang Xiangsheng's eyes, and her tone was a bit self-willed and indifferent: "You delayed me from playing chess with Hades, you know?"

Xiang Sheng couldn't hold back, and burst out laughing.

Zhou Yu's face was hot, but fortunately the sunset was gentle, and the orange sunset glow hid his blush.

"That's really embarrassing," Xiang Sheng laughed, "But, are you sure you want to play chess with Hades in wet clothes?"

In an instant, Zhou Yu's drowsy mind woke up.

Xiang Sheng saw the timing, and with a long leg, he instantly changed from a "layman" to a "guest in the house".

Zhou Yu subconsciously hid back, but was tripped by the disorderly placed shoes, the pain he imagined did not come——Xiang Sheng quickly fished her back.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Xiang Sheng put the gift box on the entrance on one side, and said, "Yan Wang is an elder after all, so please respect him."

Zhou Yu regained his senses, pushed her away abruptly, and Xiang Sheng's elbow hit the door behind him, and in an instant, he felt a tingling sensation on his head.

Xiang Sheng rubbed his arms, not knowing whether to laugh or cry: "Sister, I just helped you!"

Zhou Yu stared at Xiang Sheng, the clothes on his body were wet, like a wounded puppy, he clearly longed for someone to help him, but when someone approached, his first reaction was to be defensive and attack.

The two faced each other silently, but the shadows on the wall overlapped vaguely.

Xiang Sheng glanced at Zhou Yu's skinless knees, and unconsciously clenched the hem of his clothes with his hands. The silicone arms he used to practice needles in school appeared in his mind-the two were equally horrible.

Xiang Sheng nudged Nu Zhouyu's knee with his chin, trying to calm down his voice: "Does it hurt?"

Zhou Yu suddenly came back to her senses. Her first reaction was not to look at her knees, but to the mess in the living room. There were only two words in her mind - it's over.

Xiang Sheng laughed angrily at Zhou Yu's reaction: "Eldest sister, did you steal your leg from your enemy?"

The needle-like pain in her knee was transmitted to the brain nerves, and she realized that her nightdress had been rendered into an abstract painting.

Very well, from the moment she opened the door, she was indistinguishable from streaking.

Zhou Yu took a deep breath, suppressed the emotions that came up again, and said indifferently: "I think it looks pretty, red is auspicious."

Xiang Sheng snorted coldly: "Your outfit is indeed 'lucky' in the vegetable market."

Zhou Yu: "..."

Xiang Sheng sighed, and said softly, "Go to the hospital, I'll accompany you."

Zhou Yu frowned, suppressed the swear words in his heart, and squeezed out three words from between his teeth: "I have medicine."

Xiang Sheng is not a fool, he heard the subtext behind these three words - get lost.

Normal people usually leave sensibly at this time, but Xiang Sheng is the one who came. To some extent, she is not a normal person.

Xiang Sheng sneered, squinted at her, and said, "If you tell me to get out, I'll get out, so wouldn't it be embarrassing for me?"

"what?"

Xiang Sheng glanced at the mess in the living room, annoyed and distressed, but still said in a serious manner: "Are you planning to use blood to sue Shanghua City for the inflated rent?"

Zhou Yu didn't reply, his expression was covered in shadows.

Xiang Sheng exhaled, and his tone softened: "Go to the hospital."

"I can..." Before Zhou Yu finished speaking, he was interrupted by Xiang Sheng cursing: "You can be a fart, I think you can kill yourself!"

The superficial peace that Zhou Yu managed to maintain collapsed in an instant, and he shouted: "Do I know you? I don't care whether you live or die! Who are you? Why do you care about me!"

Xiang Sheng was stunned - that's right, they are still strangers now.

She closed her eyes, and after coaxing herself, gently tugged Zhou Yu's wet nightgown, and said, "Zhou Yu, I don't have so much free time to give gifts to my neighbors."

Zhou Yu was taken aback, and looked at Xiang Sheng blankly, the golden sunlight hit her softly, her two straight and slender long legs overlapped casually, and her deer eyes were "sparkling".

"I'm not a bad person." Xiang Sheng looked at her and said word by word, "I'm here to save you."

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The author has something to say:

Finally finished the exam!It is now January 2022, 1. Although it did not catch up to 1:12, it should be regarded as the beginning of the new year. Therefore, the sweet essay writer Xiaodu is back with atypical romanticism at the beginning of the new year!

Some small beeps about atypical romanticism (hereafter referred to as little romance):

1. About why the plan was temporarily changed: the copywriting of Little Romance has actually been released for a long time. If I remember correctly, it was summer vacation. When Little Sunset was still serializing, I already had the prototype of this story in my mind. But it was not very concrete at that time, it was just a vague shadow. The reason why I made up my mind to write this story was in September (or October). Big rocks, breathless, so now, there is this story.

2. I don’t have a mental illness. The medical knowledge about bipolar disorder and subsequent medical knowledge in this article comes from Baidu Encyclopedia, literature, some from textbooks, and a part of internalization in daily study (only accounts for Xiaoxiaoxiaoxiaoxiao. .. part, I'm just a scum), if there is something wrong, please correct me!thank you all!

3. I am still a student at this stage, and I have no knowledge about the fashion industry. The part involved in the article comes from the universal Internet search. If there are professionals in the industry who have seen it, please correct me!grateful!

4. Most people have experienced very emo and depressive moments. What I want to say is, dear friends, these are normal emotions. Don’t give yourself too many negative hints. If you are sad, sleep or cry Going to the market or having a big meal is a very good way to resolve it. We must remember that in the long years we have passed, those things that were once as bad as the sky collapsed have become a thing of the past, and we are still We are that awesome little star!If you feel that your emotions are not just a simple emo, you must definitely see a doctor. There is nothing shameful about it. Seeing a doctor when you are sick is a normal person's thinking, just like taking medicine to cool down when you have a cold and fever. .

5. Bipolar disorder is simply mania and depression, which is very painful. It is also called genius disease (I personally don't like this nickname very much, although it has a little truth).I don’t know if any of the friends who read my article are experiencing or have experienced this kind of pain. I want to say that you have all worked hard, and it’s great to persevere until now!

6. I try to say as little as possible in this article to provide an immersive reading experience!

7. For the next book, I want to write "Her Little Star", a sweet article from a young crush to an acquaintance in the city~ Friends who are interested can click on the column and click a favorite. If you have enough collections, you can open it~~Thank you again for passing by One year of companionship, everything goes well. If it’s a little difficult, I wish you all the best. If it’s a little difficult to be happy every day, um, it’s okay to be unhappy~ As long as the heart is at ease, everything is fine!

8. Quiet Mimi asks: As of now, the articles I have written should not be regarded as abuse... right?