sanguine and depressive

The next morning, on the way to school, I turned to a convenience store and bought an iced Coke. When I got to school, I went to Wei Chengyu's class first.Tong Ming was reciting words on his seat, Wei Chengyu hadn't come yet, and there were two empty test papers on the table.

I put the iced Coke on it, and there is no silver 300 taels here: "His nose is broken, give him an ice pack."

Tong Ming nodded: "You just let it go."

At noon, I waited for 15 minutes as usual, and then went to Wei Chengyu to go to the cafeteria for lunch, and planned to take care of his injury by the way.

I went there on time, most of the people in the class were still sorting out test papers or taking off their glasses, but the seat next to Tong Ming was already empty.

The package is here, indicating that it is here.

I moved over and asked in a low voice, "Tong Ming, where's Wei Chengyu?"

Tong Ming touched his nose and said, "He... went to ask the math teacher a question, and told you not to wait for him, and leave after school."

This is the first time I have eaten in the cafeteria alone since I entered high school.I really practiced it, and found that it was not as difficult as I imagined. After lunch, I found a seat in the corner and sat down. No one paid attention to me at all. It was similar to eating boxed lunch alone in the last row of the classroom in junior high school.

Is Wei Chengyu going to study hard?I guess.Then why do you have to go to the teacher's office at this time? If the teacher doesn't want to eat, he must be short-hearted.

A few teachers came down the stairs in the distance, chatting and laughing, I glanced and saw Liu Yuhua.

Ah, the math teacher is here for dinner, so who is Wei Chengyu asking?

It took me two days to confirm that Wei Chengyu should be avoiding me consciously.Not at noon, not after school.And every time Tong Ming would touch his nose and tell me that Wei Chengyu had something to do and told me not to wait.

At night, I sat at my desk with a diary spread out, and wrote down today's date. The day after tomorrow is Friday, which is my birthday.

I wrote: "I didn't see you again today, I feel like you are hiding from me."

"You" is of course Wei Chengyu.I used the second person, very abnormal way of writing.Fortunately, Wei Chengyu doesn't know, writing it down means that I am narcissistic.

I wrote again: "It's because you still can't stand homosexuality."

When I wrote down the three characters of homosexuality, I stared for a long time, seeing that the three Chinese characters of Fangzheng were squeezed together, forming a bad meaning.The mood was unexpectedly calm, and it felt like it was destined, because it was not the first time.

After class the next day, Lu He asked me to go to her office once, just passing by Wei Chengyu's class.Although I was nervous about being called to the office, I would not let go of the precious peeping opportunity I had along the way.

I held the dictation book of the whole class and followed Lu He. Through the window, I saw Wei Chengyu sitting on the seat with his back to me, and Wang Xuebin was sitting in front of Tong Ming's seat, and he was listening to Wang Xuebin.

I turned my head and pretended not to see it, but I did.

Does Wei Chengyu like Wang Xuebin... Actually, I have thought about this possibility more than once.After all, as Wang Dong said a long time ago, they are a perfect match when standing together to host.

I thought about it all the way down, and it became more and more reasonable.They usually work together and study in the same class. Wang Xuebin has good grades and personality, and maybe he can teach Wei Chengyu some problems.

Then why distance yourself from me.

Mingming then said what’s wrong with me being gay, and said he treated me like a younger brother.I believe it all.

I'm not an ignorant person, or did I do something wrong.

I began to struggle to review everything, should I not pinch my lips, and should not pester him to the hospital.Or my two days of Coke was too obvious, let him see that I like him.I still have to push the time forward a little bit. I shouldn't rely on him when I shouldn't be studying agriculture, I shouldn't watch movies with him, I shouldn't, I shouldn't...

Only then did I realize that there were traces of all my actions, and all my words could make him suspicious.If he pays enough attention, then my bad intentions can be easily detected and exposed.

In fact, I shouldn't like him, but emotions are not completely controlled by reason.I am also very upset.

My nose was sore, I could only force myself to think of funny things, otherwise Lu He would be shocked when he turned his head.But after thinking for a long time, I didn't think it was funny, and I had already arrived at the office of the language group.

I put the dictation book on Lu He's desk.Lu He sat down and said "Ouch", and then asked, "How is it?"

"Huh?" I was confused, "What?"

Lu He said: "I see that you sit alone in the corner every day, and you don't have a deskmate. Are you used to it in the new semester?"

I stared at "Liu Zifan" in the first book of dozens of dictation books, but couldn't remember what this classmate looked like: "It's pretty good."

"I see that you got along well with Wei Chengyu in your freshman year of high school." Lu He said with a smile, "At that time, I felt that one of you was too quiet, and the other was too noisy. You wanted to neutralize it, and the effect was quite good. .”

She encouraged me: "Try to integrate more into the class. I think you are a kid who is serious about studying, and you don't mess around in love. Work hard for the mid-term exam next week."

"Okay, thank you teacher." I thanked Lu He, walked out of the office, and passed by Wei Chengyu's class and couldn't help but take another look.Wang Xuebin raised his gaze slightly, touched me and then gently passed me by.

At noon, I said to Tong Ming: "There is something wrong with our class, and I may not come to Wei Chengyu in the future." We didn't ask Wei Chengyu why he was hiding from me.I want to be a very discerning person.

On this day, the autumn wind blows the fallen leaves, and the avenue is golden.I walked home on dead leaves, and Auntie Jiang cooked meat and vegetables for me. After taking a bath, I wrote the date in the diary, but didn't write a word of the rest.Because there is nothing to write at all, if I leave a sentence: "You are still avoiding me today.", or "I didn't meet anyone today, I have nothing to write." It feels a little pitiful.

Tomorrow is my birthday.I remember when I was in elementary school, I unconsciously formed the habit of bringing cakes or small gifts to share with classmates on their birthdays.

Coincidentally, there was a girl in the class who had the same birthday as me.One week before my birthday, she asked me: "Cen Xiao, what are you going to bring to school for this birthday?" I pursed my lips and whispered, "I don't know."

"Oh," she said, "I'm bringing blue tins of cookies!"

After school, my mother came to pick me up from school with a bag of snacks in her hand. I asked, "Mom, did you get it from the supermarket?" Mom smiled and said yes.Every time there are just expired biscuits and candies on the shelves, my mother will secretly take them home for me to eat.

I asked: "Mom, can I share some snacks for everyone on my birthday? Yang Qian said that everyone has a can of blue can cookies, and she is the one who has the same birthday as me." At that time, I didn't know the meaning of expiration. You can eat it yourself, but you cannot entertain others.

Mom didn't speak for a long time.We passed by the small street next to the school. There were many boys buying game cards in the canteen, parents buying steamed buns for children in the dim sum shop, and girls picking mechanical pencils in the stationery shop.

Then my mother told me earnestly that I should not have the heart of comparison, and what happened to the birthday, but it was only one year older, and I was ashamed to hear it.

Finally, on my birthday, everyone is very happy, but it's not because of me.Under the command of the head teacher, we wished Yang Qian a happy birthday loudly.But I was also given a can of cookies, which couldn’t fit in my schoolbag, and I happily went home with it in my arms as a birthday present.But it was very rare for my mother to come back from night shift with a beautiful tin box, saying that it could be given away, and I never saw that box of biscuits again.

On my birthday last year, Wei Chengyu and I ate hot pot, drank milk tea, and wrote six papers.Although he didn't know it, I had the most wonderful birthday of my life.Alas, I thought there could be two more birthdays like this.

The author says:

Feel sour, Wei Chengyu is struggling to accept the fact that he has bad intentions towards his good friend