sanguine and depressive

The mid-term exams came to an end, and my studies were a little busy in the second half of the semester, because Wei Chengyu joined the student union, and often reported to the Youth League Committee Office after lunch.But Lu He said that if his grades were so poor, he would go to the teacher of the Youth League Committee to remove him from his position. Only then did I know that Wei Chengyu was the bottom No.2 in the midterm exam of our class.By the way, the bottom No.1 is Wang Dong.

I was shocked by his strength. As his friend, I decided to use my subjective initiative to study a little harder, so that I can help him if he doesn't understand anything in the future.

But recently Wei Chengyu doesn't ask me to borrow money very much, which makes me a little uneasy.After all, my only advantage is that I am rich. If he doesn't need money, it will be difficult to find any reason why he would still be my friend.

However, our relationship can only be described in two words: getting better and better.We have gradually formed an assembly line project of "I work, and he learns from it", and we are in the same boat and make progress together in dictation, but we don't cheat in the exam.At the same time, in life, we are almost inseparable.Wei Chengyu will have lunch with me every day, and when we go home, occasionally, after my ingenious hint, he will go to buy coconut taro and drink with me.

The only thing I'm afraid of is that in junior high school, I was a homosexual who was shunned like a snake.Fortunately, in high school, I hadn't revealed my sexuality yet.

But danger always comes unknowingly.

In the blink of an eye, the final exam is approaching, and Wei Chengyu and I have been at the same table for so long.

During this period of time, because the weather was too cold, everyone basically stopped playing, and mostly discussed games instead.Recently, they are very enthusiastic about a MOBA game that has just been released on the mobile terminal.Today is Friday, and after school they are playing games together in the classroom.

I also quietly downloaded the game on my phone.But after my observation, only five people can play at a time, so at the moment I just hold the phone and watch Wei Chengyu sitting next to me seriously operate.The student on duty said to them impatiently, "I'm so bored, raise your feet."

I took the broom, swept the floor where Wei Chengyu and I sat, and returned the broom to the student on duty.

After 10 minutes they finally finished a game, and I saw the brilliant "victory" pop up at the end of the game.

Wang Dong sat back on the chair in the front row, with his arm resting on Wei Chengyu's desk and holding his mobile phone horizontally: "Fuck—it's cool, can I steal the crystal at the end?"

I don't understand the jargon, but they laugh and I laugh too, which makes me seem more gregarious.

Normally, I don’t have much communication with the male classmates raised by Wei Chengyu, but Wei Chengyu is my friend, and they are Wei Chengyu’s friends, so we can deduce that we are friends of friends, and I hope to have a better relationship with them.

And they are different from the boys in junior high school, they don't hate me, and they don't lock me in the equipment room.

It's a pity that life is always ups and downs, and I was slapped in the face just as I thought about it.

"Forrest Gump" said that life is a box of chocolates, you never ever know what you're going to get.

But I have to point out that under this statement, what he took out of the blind box was, at best, a bar of chocolate.

If you want me to say, life is a box of Bibi Weird Beans.

And I'm always the one who gets Vomit and EarWax.

They were taking a halftime break, each looking at their phones, when Wang Dong suddenly raised his phone excitedly and said loudly, "Oh fuck!!! Do you know that?"

what?I was shocked by the decibel, and curiously pricked up my ears and leaned over.

He said: "The guy in the third class next door is very short, and his classmates said that his QQ space is full of cosplay photos of women's clothes!"

do not know.

But looking at the expressions of several other people, it seems that they all have heard about it, including Wei Chengyu.

Wei Chengyu: "I know, what's wrong?"

Wang Dong: "He's gay—he likes men! Damn, he sent the bed photos to the class last night, and someone even saved them!"

With my hands on the stool, I couldn't help but buckle the rough wooden board on the back.After listening to just one sentence, I was a little dizzy.

Wang Dong probably felt that his eyes were hot and irritating, so he raised his phone and looked at it twice: "Damn—absolutely—" Then he turned the phone around and pointed it at everyone, "Men and men, look. "

I know I shouldn't watch it, and one more person watching it is one more harm to the person involved.

But I still watched it, wanting to see what my kind is like, after all, I haven't met in real life yet.

I felt a little ashamed, and looked away after one glance.

I saw a large expanse of snow-white complexion.

He has a very beautiful body.

We gossip about a gay guy in the class next door.

It's nothing to do with me, but I'm feeling a little nervous.Because I am very concerned about my friend - what will Wei Chengyu think about this matter?

What would he think of gay men?

There is a boy next to him with an inch head. I remember his name is Liu Fan.He scratched his hair and said, "Damn, it's disgusting."

I trembled guiltily.I comforted myself, it wasn't Wei Chengyu who said it, and it wasn't me who said it.

I despicably distinguished myself from this boy in the next class.Although I know well what is disgusting about him.

Wang Dong raised his chin, blinked slyly, and asked Wei Chengyu, "Hey, what do you say?"

I felt like I was sitting on pins and needles, not daring to look at Wei Chengyu's eyes and expression.My heart is going to jump out of its container, and I am accepting this verdict inexplicably.

The familiar pessimistic emotions surged in my heart again, and I seemed to have the answer to this verdict.

One second, two seconds, three seconds.I heard Wei Chengyu say: "How should I put it, I can't control it... But I don't seem to accept it well, maybe... just don't appear in front of me?"

Wang Dong laughed loudly: "Are you also homophobic? Me too hahaha, I can't accept it at all."

The tip of my tongue pressed tightly against my teeth, and the root of my tongue was actually bitter. I tasted it, and it tasted like a bean with a strange flavor.

Is it okay to be friends? It's not that I'm in love with you.I thought a little aggrieved.

Fortunately, no one was interested in my opinion, they chatted a few words and started playing games again.

I pretended to be calm, packed my Prada schoolbag, and carried it.I seem to have suddenly understood the taste of a heart like ashes. First, hope and happiness must be ignited, and then they must be extinguished forcefully. The ashes are blown away by the wind, forgetting the traces of possession.

Seeing that I was about to leave, Wei Chengyu took the time to raise his head: "Leave? Are you waiting for me?"

I whispered, "I won't wait any longer." I retreated so quickly that I was a little embarrassed.

I walked 50 meters on Xichuan Middle Road to the intersection, then turned left, then turned right... I walked into the community, and then walked into the house. My parents still didn’t come home. Aunt Jiang was watching TV on the sofa. The rain, the water seems to leak out of the screen.

I felt at a loss, so I could only hide in the bed after taking a shower, in a daze.

If I were a sensible person, then upon hearing Wei Chengyu's words, I should take the initiative to distance myself from him and fulfill my request not to appear in front of his eyes.

But I have already experienced the happiness of having friends. They can eat hot pot in the cafeteria together, drink coconut and taro with me, ask me what I want to eat before sharing snacks, and go home together after school.I can tell him any nonsense gossip, Wei Chengyu has great powers and can pick it up.

Then I remembered, turned on the phone, and deleted that game.

I comfort myself, it doesn't matter if I don't have friends, I still have money, I'marichman.

I feel powerless, life is the test of the torrent, and I am a stone that has been repeatedly washed away. Even if I want to be calm, to live and work in peace and contentment, to be secretive and low-key, God will pick me up alone and tell me you're special.

And I know that special translated into Chinese can be used as a derogatory term.

I am different.