he can't see our ears

From this deterioration, I can clearly see that the eldest brother's mood gradually began to change.He can no longer pretend to be calm like before.

Too.I imagined, what a horrible picture he looks at every day now, no matter it is true or not, no matter what the disease is, what he sees is real to him.

One afternoon, he said to me: "If you don't have anything to do, don't come here. It's so tiring. There is someone here to take care of me, so you don't have to worry."

I just wanted to tell him that I wasn't tired, but suddenly it occurred to me that he wasn't really afraid that I was tired...

It's because...he probably really doesn't want me to stay here.

He can't see my head, nor my skin.In his eyes, what am I sitting in front of the hospital bed?

I imagined what I looked like in his eyes: no head, flat shoulders, no skin all over the body, but wearing clothes, muscles and fat exposed on the exposed hands and legs, and I could talk to him and make utterances. His brother's voice...

I feel cold all over.If he really sees it, it will only be a hundred times more terrifying than I imagined.

I went back to my room in the small guest house, thinking about the past and the future.

It’s really hard to describe this feeling clearly. If you say it’s worry, I don’t know what to worry about; if you say it’s fear, I don’t know what I’m afraid of.

What's the worst possible outcome of this?I can't even imagine it.

I also worried about my elder brother once when I was a child.My eldest brother had a car accident in high school. He was riding a bicycle and was hit by a motorcycle and injured his leg.

He was hospitalized, I panicked, he was calmer than me.

He told me that the doctor treated him very well, he didn't feel any pain at all, and he was quite happy when he was hospitalized and could not go to school.

At that time, I was also very afraid. I was afraid that my elder brother would be crippled. I was afraid that he would stay like this for the rest of his life.

Thinking back now, what was the fear at that time?

It is not terrible for a person to get sick and get injured. What is terrible is that there is no way to find out where the sickness is, and you don't know what the consequences will be.

That night, I lay in bed and thought a lot.

I thought again of my eldest brother's father, my mother's ex-husband.The policewoman mentioned him to me before, and I didn't express my opinion. Now I suddenly realized that I really should find him, meet him, and let him come to the hospital.

why?It's not because I consider that he is also a relative of the elder brother, nor is it because I fantasize how much he can still love the elder brother, but because I suddenly realized that the current mental illness or brain disease of the elder brother may be caused by his father's family. genetic.

Didn't his father's hometown have a female relative who was mentally abnormal? This is not my nonsense, it is admitted by his family.

And his father himself.He has not been diagnosed, but according to the narratives of his mother and elder brother, isn't this person's various neurotic behaviors, paranoid personality, cranky thinking, etc., not also manifestations of mental problems?

If it is true that their family has any medical history, they should tell the hospital, maybe it will help to treat the disease.

Thinking of this, I immediately picked up my phone, checked the map, and checked how to buy a ticket.

The man's hometown is very close to City A, and I know the address because I keep some of my mother's personal belongings, and I look through them every year, and I saw that address in her notepad.The address is short and easy to remember.

But that was the address when he and his mother were first married, and he may have moved away long ago.

I decided not to think about it so much, and I will leave at dawn tomorrow, and I will look for it first.In case he really moves away, I will find a way to inquire nearby.

The next day I got up early and rushed to the long-distance station in City A.I won't go to the hospital today, it's useless for me to sit there anyway, and my eldest brother may not be willing to see me.

It took more than an hour to take the intercity bus, and I arrived at the destination county.

There are very few people in the county, and it is difficult to find someone to ask for directions.Thanks to the map on the mobile phone now, I can check a certain road and a certain courtyard, and I can find out how to get there immediately.

Although I remember the street name, I don't know how to find the specific door and number.At this time, I admire those who do express delivery and takeaway, how they can find every household accurately.

I plan to look for neighborhood committees, real estate and other institutions in this area first, and ask people.

The neighborhood committee is in a semi-underground office. There are two staff members in the room, one is a middle-aged elder sister and the other is younger.

I stated my identity and purpose of coming, and did not mention the specific symptoms of my eldest brother, but only said that he was very ill and wanted my father to see him.

The elder sister asked me a few questions and briefly verified my identity.A very complicated expression appeared on her face.Can't tell if it's regret or fear.

She asked the young employee to do something, but she sent him away.

After the young man left, the eldest sister told me that she actually knew the family of my mother's ex-husband, who sold their house a few years ago and moved away.

Sure enough, he moved away.I'm a little discouraged.The eldest sister hurriedly told me that it doesn't matter, she left their contact information, which was caught among her various items, and she had to look for it.

When she went to look through the drawers, I couldn't help asking: "Why did their family sell their house and move away? What happened?"

The eldest sister said: "You are really right."

She chatted with me on this topic.

More than ten years ago, my mother's ex-husband returned to his hometown.People in my hometown knew that he was divorced, so they obviously didn't want a son, and they didn't even visit him on a regular basis. This was completely against people's common sense.So people made malicious speculations, and many rumors spread, nothing more than that his wife might be sorry for him, his son might not be his, and so on.

When the eldest sister mentioned it, she used words such as "maliciousness" and "rumor". When she said this, it meant that there were people in the local area who knew that it was not true.So I was not angry when I heard it.

Later, rumors spread to the man's family.After the man heard this, he ran outside and grabbed people and asked, "Do you know where that thing came from? Do you know where my son was taken?"

At first people were puzzled, thinking that he was just angry when he heard the rumors, and his mind was confused.

After a long time, he asked around every day, and people finally gradually understood his true meaning - he really thought that the son was not his, but it was not because he suspected his wife of betrayal, but because he felt that the son was not. His wife's is not theirs at all.

In his opinion, the children of their husband and wife were taken away and replaced with a strange child for him.He came back to his hometown to look for the child.

Although the old family loves to spread gossip, this kind of "gossip" is far beyond people's usual cognition, and people are confused and don't know what to say.

At the same time, the man not only goes out to harass the neighbors every day, but when he returns home, he always torments his parents.

He analyzes "why that child is not my son" and "what happened on the day of the full moon wine" to his parents every day.His parents didn't like to listen, so he forced them to tell them that the food was not delicious, and if others didn't listen, he would throw the dining table off in a hurry.

Day after day, his parents couldn't stand him anymore.One day he took his luggage and said he was going out. His parents were relieved, thinking that he had become normal and was going out to work.

That time he left for half a year as soon as he left, without making any phone calls.When he came back, he looked even more sluggish than ever, dispirited and clearly out of shape.

He brought back a lot of weird books, and used an old computer to surf the Internet every day, and went to various strange websites that he couldn't name. He locked himself in the house all the time, and never went out at all.

I heard that he had a good job before the divorce.He graduated from the same university as my mother. It is said that he was a top student when he was a student, and he can be regarded as a young talent after working.Who would have thought that he would become like this later?A lot of age, not going to work or part-time job, talking crazy when he speaks.

And all of this originated from the day when my eldest brother was full of moon wine, and from the short period of time when my eldest brother disappeared for a short time.

Now, listening to the stranger describe that situation... even though I have no feelings for him, I still feel unbearable.

The eldest sister also said one more thing.During a Spring Festival a few years ago, the man's family went back to the village to worship their ancestors.Relatives who didn't see each other very much got together, picked which pot was left open, and talked about his divorce.

The relatives are nothing more than persuading him to think about it. It’s okay not to have children. It just happens that he hasn’t burdened it yet. In the future, he can go on blind dates again. Age is not a problem.

While talking, maybe someone said something unpleasant, so the man got into an argument with someone on the spot, and even hurt a female relative who was younger than him.

I asked how it hurt her, and the eldest sister said, I heard that there was a riot first, and I was persuaded to leave. After everyone thought it was all right, the man suddenly found the female relative secretly and insisted on dragging her out of the house.

He dragged his female relative to the beach, shouting "you go and find me, you go and find me" while walking.

After the family found out, they hurriedly chased after it, so that no catastrophe occurred.The female relative's family quit on the spot, and asked the male family to take it to the doctor. If it was broken, they would have to pay for it.

During the medical treatment, the family said that their daughter was beaten on the head and was broken, and everyone was stupefied.

In fact, everyone in the village knew that this was not the case. The female relative had been insane since she was a child, and had some problems in mental development.But everyone was just watching the fun and wouldn't speak for that man.

Hearing this, I gradually realized that the reason why this person broke out suddenly was probably not because he heard bad words, but because he saw this female relative.

Crazy distant female relative... Isn't this the one who hugged the elder brother at the full moon wine?

The elder sister of the neighborhood committee didn't know about the Full Moon Wine, so I didn't say anything about it.

Anyway, I can't explain the ins and outs clearly, so let's listen to the elder sister later.

This man beat his relatives, so it is not impossible to solve it.The beating person and the person being beaten were of the same generation, and both of them were somewhat out of their minds, and relatives knew about it.

At this point, if their family is soft, pay some money, and let the most respected old man in the family smooth things over, they can pass.

But the state of this man is obviously not normal.His parents actively apologized, compensated and gave fruit, but he refused to cooperate, and no one could say anything.He didn't seem to understand good words at all, and he didn't have the patience to listen.

During the Spring Festival that year, he went to that relative's house many times to make trouble, and made trouble every day, trying to arrest that female relative.

Several times he fought with the other party's family members, both of them were injured, and the village had to dispatch a group of young people to fight again and again.

Things got more and more complicated, and the two families almost became a big enemy.His parents couldn't care less about continuing to pay New Year's greetings, so they hurried back to the city with him.

Then something even more unfortunate happened.

On the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, that crazy and silly female relative went out early in the morning, and never came back at night, just disappeared.

People in the village searched everywhere and called the police.Everyone suspected what the man had done, but his parents swore to the sky that it was definitely not the case. The whole family didn't go out on the fifteenth day of the first lunar month.

The police came to this community specifically, conducted an investigation, watched the surveillance, and the family did not lie.

About two months after the incident, someone found the mutilated body on the reef beach by the sea.It was the missing female relative.

In the past, people passed by the reef beach every day when they searched. At that time, no one saw the body of the female relative, nor did other nearby areas.

When she was discovered, her upper body was lying on the jagged rocks, drenched all over, with her head facing the village, as if she had just come up from the sea and wanted to continue to climb towards the village.

The elder sister of the neighborhood committee does not know the final conclusion of the case.All she knew was that the man and his parents had been investigated in detail and were not arrested in the end.He is legally innocent.

But his family is still having a hard time.All kinds of rumors were circulating in the county town and the villages below, telling the story of everything.Everyone in the family of the deceased was even more emotional, claiming that they wanted to fight into the city and make him pay in blood or something.

They did what they said, and they did come to the city to have several conflicts, each of which was resolved by calling the police.This time it is resolved, next time it will happen again.There is no way back to normal for the family.

In this way, his parents decided to quickly sell the house at a low price, and the family moved away as if fleeing for their lives.