Women's clothing giants are all in love

Xie Zhu fell into a warm embrace.

Qi Lan hugged him so tightly that it was painful.

But this kind of pain gave Xie Zhu the real feeling that he was still alive, and he felt very comfortable.

He closed his eyes, and for a moment he wanted to just fall asleep like this.

But not yet.

He tried his best to hold his eyelids, and murmured: "...I'm going to the hospital."

Qi Lan's voice was hoarse to the extreme: "I'll take you there."

"...No need to be so troublesome." Xie Zhu said in a low voice.

Qi Lan asked back: "How can you run out by yourself in this state?"

"..." Xie Zhu lowered his eyes, "It's impossible to have someone by my side every time I get sick. I always have to learn to deal with these problems by myself."

There are still decades to come in his life.

As soon as these words came out, Qi Lan felt that his heart was about to be crushed.

He hugged Xie Zhu even tighter, so tight that Xie Zhu could clearly feel the fluctuations in his heart.

"From now on, I will always be by your side," Qi Lan said slowly and hoarsely, "I will not leave you alone."

When the words fell to the ground, Xie Zhu suddenly opened his eyes wide.

His forehead was pressed against Qi Lan's shoulder, and for a few seconds without a sound, water filled his eye sockets.

He murmured, "Qi Lan, what are you talking about?"

"Don't you understand?" Qi Lan lowered her head and whispered in his ear, "Little Zhuzi, you don't have a boyfriend yet, do you?"

Xie Zhu trembled all over.

His mind is completely clear.

He raised his head and looked at Qi Lan with his eyes wide open, but the light of the water blurred his vision.

There was no sign of joking on Qi Lan's face.

This person who is always fooling around, at this moment, with his most solemn face and tone, said to him: "I originally wanted to ask you out today, just to talk about this matter."

"I like you—I'm serious, little bamboo, I think I should have been secretly in love with you for a long time, but I haven't realized it myself."

"In the past six years, I have been thinking about why you disappeared without saying a word. I couldn't just accept the result like this," Qi Lan said in a low voice, "You know, on May [-]st in the sophomore year, and During the winter vacation that year, I came to see you."

Xie Zhu was stunned for a moment, and then his face revealed astonishment.

"But those two times, I waited downstairs for a whole day without waiting for you and your parents to come back." Qi Lan pulled the corners of his lips, "It's ridiculous, I always think it's very rude to go directly to the door." Abrupt, I hesitated for a long time to choose these two days, but I didn't meet you once, I thought you had moved a long time ago."

Xie Zhu's tears fell down.

He bowed his head.

After a while, I choked up and said: "...I didn't go home on May [-]st in my sophomore year, and my parents went to my school to find me. In the winter vacation of my junior year, they..."

Qi Lan held his hand tightly and coaxed in a low voice: "Don't say it now, tell me when you can, okay?"

Xie Zhu's mind started to dizzy again.

He sniffed and nodded dully.

But Qi Lan was silent for a few seconds, and finally said that sentence: "Little Zhuzi, I like you, if you want, I want to be your boyfriend."

"Of course, it doesn't matter if you don't want to," he said softly, "It's also okay to stay by your side as a friend."

"Even if we are friends, I would like to stay with you for the rest of my life."

Qi Lan who said so, paused, showing embarrassment and eagerness that he had never had before.

He looked away, and added embarrassingly: "...But I still hope to be your boyfriend."

"I want to be with you every day." Qi Lan turned her eyes, stared at him, and said softly, "Being your boyfriend and your family."

Xie Zhu stayed for a long time.

He felt that he must still be dreaming, otherwise how could such a good thing happen.

He had been secretly in love with Qi Lan for so long, how could he come to confess his love to him?

But his aching body told him everything was real.

The soreness inside told him it was all real.

Qi Lan held his hand tightly and told him that everything was true.

Just now, he received a confession from Qi Lan.

Xie Zhu's mind went blank.

After a while, Qi Lan couldn't hold back, and lowered his head to look at him.

He couldn't see Xie Zhu's expression.

But he could see that drops of water were falling down like this.

With his head down, Xie Zhu murmured in a hoarse voice: "... If you eat too much candy, you won't be able to suffer anymore..."

"...Qi Lan, before you feed me sugar, you must think clearly..."

Qi Lan was startled for a moment, then his heart trembled, and his Adam's apple rolled.

With all kinds of complicated emotions in his chest, he stretched out his hand, raised Xie Zhu's face, and asked, "Little Zhuzi, to you, am I sugar?"

Xie Zhu's tears kept falling.

He choked, and nodded slightly.

Qi Lan touched the corners of her lips and finally smiled.

He pressed Xie Zhu's forehead, and said softly: "So it is like this, so I am your sugar."

"Then you can rest assured that you will eat for the rest of your life, because I won't let you suffer any more," Qi Lan said with a low voice with a smile, "You have to be careful, don't accidentally get tooth decayed by me."

Xie Zhu hiccupped from crying.

He finally had the strength to curse while crying and laughing: "Qi Lan, you still have to be shameless."

It was raining lightly again.

The bicycle parked by Qi Lan downstairs in the unit was finally covered with rainwater.

Qi Lan temporarily moved the bicycle into the unit building, then held an umbrella, embraced Xie Zhu who had changed, and walked out of the side door with flushed cheeks, and boarded the taxi that came to pick them up.

On the way to the hospital, Xie Zhu was drowsy, clutching his stomach several times, showing a distressed expression.

Seeing this, Qi Lan frowned tightly, hugged him, and rubbed him gently.

Xie Zhu leaned on his shoulder, this intimate posture made him a little embarrassed, but the warmth of this snuggling gave him a great sense of security.

This sense of security soaked into his whole body, and the pain and discomfort that invaded him faded away a lot.

Xie Zhu felt that Qi Lan was probably not only his sugar, but also his medicine.

But this kind of words, he decided to wait for him to feel better, and then find a chance to tell Qi Lan quietly.

Entering the emergency room of the hospital, under Qi Lan's rush, Xie Zhu quickly put on salt water.

Xie Zhu hadn't eaten all day, and it's not good to drink salt water on an empty stomach. Even if he might still vomit, he had to eat some.

So when Xie Zhu sat down in the infusion area, Qi Lan immediately went outside to buy porridge and came back.

It was already past six o'clock when the busy work was completed.

Qi Lan threw away the trash, walked back and put his hand on Xie Zhu's forehead, asking him, "Do you feel better?"

Xie Zhu nodded, watching Qi Lan sit down next to him again.

Still feel incredible.

His daze-like gaze made Qi Lan laugh. He pinched Xie Zhu's cheek, and asked with a smile, "Haven't you recovered yet? Why, the first day of dating?"

"..." Xie Zhu whispered, "It's the first day."

Qi Lan was taken aback: "Have you never been in a relationship before?"

Xie Zhu blushed, and said awkwardly: "...I've always only liked you, who should I talk to?"

Qi Lan: "..."

He was a little taken aback, and then he raised his hand to cover his lips. He didn't know whether it was disbelief or excitement, and his ears turned red.

He turned his gaze, then turned back, coughed lightly, and asked pretending to be calm: "... also since high school?"

Xie Zhu was extremely embarrassed by him, but Qi Lan even confessed to him on his own initiative, and he had no reason to hide it by himself.

Xie Zhu looked to the other side, and whispered: "...let's start from the second year of high school."

It's so early!

Qi Lan almost choked out.

But soon, he quickly said vaguely again: "...I am similar."

Thinking about it carefully, when he was in the second year of high school, he would feel upset when he saw Xie Zhu getting close to other people.

...No matter how you think about it, you are jealous.

One of the two looked to the left and the other to the right, their ears were blushing, and the charming atmosphere was constantly fermenting.

Xie Zhu felt that his head was dizzy and his heart was beating fast. This must have been caused by Qi Lantian's dizziness, not by being burned.

He pursed his lips, turned his head back quietly, and asked tentatively: "Then you said in the group just this afternoon that you have someone you like..."

"Of course it's you!" Qi Lan immediately turned around and clarified himself. After finishing speaking, he came back to his senses and coughed again, "So you saw it?"

Xie Zhu nodded with a blushing face.

Seeing his appearance, Qi Lan also became more embarrassed.

The two blushed one by one, and fidgeted by one.

If it wasn't for the fear of strange stares from others, Qi Lan would have wanted to take off his clothes to cool off.

This sweet and embarrassing atmosphere lasted for a while, and Xie Zhu took the lead in laughing softly.

When he smiled, Qi Lan froze.

He thought Xie Zhu was making fun of his rhetoric in the group, and said angrily, "What are you laughing at?"

Xie Zhu couldn't stop laughing: "Laughing, I saw your words just now, and felt so sad that I was about to die, but the person you mentioned turned out to be me..."

As soon as Xie Zhu said this, Qi Lan paused.

He looked at Xie Zhu silently.

He couldn't imagine how Xie Zhu said these words with a smile.

If the two of them switched positions, it would be difficult for him to laugh even if he wasn't seriously angry at this time.

Qi Lan slowly tightened her hands and said in a hoarse voice, "You—"

Xie Zhu bent his lips, and said in a warm voice: "It's okay, after all, I'm not secretly in love with you for a day or two...Actually, you should have already guessed why I didn't contact you after I changed my phone number, right?"

Xie Zhu lowered his head and fiddled with the hem of his clothes, softly stating what happened to him during that period of time, and all his psychological changes.

"...In high school, after I just found out that I liked you, I was panicked for a while. I didn't dare to tell anyone, and I felt very confused. You should remember that I kept avoiding you during that time. " Xie Zhu looked at Qi Lan and asked with a smile.

"...Hmm." Qi Lan replied in a low voice with complicated emotions.

"Later, it was Mr. Zhang who first discovered that something was wrong with me. Well, how should I put it, it took me a lot of time to learn to talk to Mr. Zhang, but Mr. Zhang's enlightenment made me a lot better. I accepted that I like you. , or I like men."

Xie Zhu lowered his head and smiled and said: "And at that time, didn't everyone in the class know that your parents forbade you to fall in love early, and you yourself said that you were not interested in dating, so at that time I could safely fall in love with you, don't worry One day you will suddenly be with a girl. The next two years... I actually had a good time."

He raised his head and said with a slight smile to Qi Lan: "Really, I always thought that I could be in the same class as you and know you. It's really great."

Qi Lan stared at him, and said in a hoarse voice: "I always thought you should be annoying me, I always make you angry."

"Those are not really angry." Xie Zhu laughed, paused, and whispered embarrassedly, "Actually, I am very happy when I am with you."

He turned his head, pursed his lips, and said slowly: "But didn't our university go to a different city?"

Qi Lan was silent.

After a moment of silence, he stretched out his hand to stroke his hair, and said in a low voice, "...I didn't think about it that much at that time."

"I know, me too," Xie Zhu smiled wryly, "I didn't realize until it was summer vacation..."

Their three years of high school were completely over.

All the students in the class will go to different futures, and so will the two of them.

There is no need to go to the alma mater of high school every day, there is no need to be bound by endless homework every day, and there are no so-called second classrooms and summer practice.

Between them, what is left?

What Xie Zhu left for Qi Lanyu was an unspeakable love.

And what about Qi Lan to him?

Every time Xie Zhu thought about it, it was difficult for Xie Zhu to make that call.

He didn't know what excuse he was looking for to see Qi Lan.

At this moment, Qi Lan fell silent after listening to Xie Zhu's words.

Why wasn't he like that during the summer vacation?

So in that long hot summer day, the two of them passed away in the midst of the cicadas singing, in the secret distress and hesitation.

Xie Zhu continued to talk.

After the results of the college entrance examination came out, the news that a certain boy in another class was gay quickly spread throughout the grade.

While Xie Zhu was panicking, he accidentally heard that the school belle wanted to confess to Qi Lan.

Qi Lan was stunned when he heard this: "Why didn't I know when it happened?"

Xie Zhu was also stunned: "Ah, at that time everyone was talking in private..."

Qi Lan's face was not very good-looking: "He Tingyu came to see me, but she came to ask me for Lao Zhao's contact information, and the two of them are still talking—"

Speaking of this, Qi Lan also realized the problem, and cursed in a low voice: "...You all don't know, the two of them went abroad together when they were studying 2+2 in college."

Xie Zhu was a little shocked, He Tingyu is the school belle, and Lao Zhao is one of Qi Lan's good brothers, he didn't expect these two people to be—

After silently digesting this piece of gossip, Xie Zhu looked at Qi Lan's annoyed look, pursed his lips and smiled helplessly.

"Anyway... it's the sum of various factors," Xie Zhu said with his head down, "I dare not confess to you, nor can I watch you fall in love with other people. I'm better able to deal with this kind of thing."

Qi Lan moved and looked at him silently.

"But I haven't made much progress at all...Even now, I'm still prone to thinking wildly about your affairs, I..."

The hand that he had been silently clutching at the hem of his clothes was being held.

Xie Zhu raised his head.

Qi Lan smiled and asked softly, "Little Pig, how much do you like me?"

For a moment, Xie Zhu trembled, feeling that he was hit again.

This man never hurt him.

Because of his timidity, he flinched again and again, but facing the long distance between them, the man walked over alone without hesitation, walked up to him, and held the His face told him gently that it was okay, he understood.

But how can there be any reason in this world for people to pay unilaterally?

Xie Zhu couldn't help himself for a while.

He choked up again.

Qi Lan was taken aback, and quickly wiped away his tears, but couldn't help but smile bitterly: "Why are you crying like this again?"

"I'm sorry," Xie Zhu said frankly with tears in his eyes, "I really like you, I really like you, Qi Lan."

This straightforward confession made Qi Lan's heart almost stop beating.

His Adam's apple rolled, and he could hardly describe his mood.

Seeing that Xie Zhu's tears couldn't be wiped away, falling down as if he didn't want money, he could only hug Xie Zhu and murmured: "Little pig, do you know what I treat you?"

Hold it in your hand for fear of falling, hold it in your mouth for fear of melting.

Qi Lan can say without hesitation that he really treats Xie Zhu like a baby.

Follow him, pamper him, guard him.

Although he accidentally lost Xie Zhu during the six years, his mood never changed.

and so--

"Don't cry, okay?" He stroked Xie Zhu's head once and for all, and said with a helpless smile, "Although it may sound a little nasty, I really feel distressed."

Xie Zhu wrinkled Qi Lan's clothes.

He closed his eyes, sniffed, and nodded heavily.

……

It was raining non-stop outside.

As the night grew darker, there were fewer and fewer people in the infusion room.

Only in the corner, two boys cuddled together, whispering softly.

"...When I was a sophomore, my parents found out that I liked men. That day I went to a gay bar with my friends, and I tried wearing women's clothing for the first time."

"...You still dare to go gay alone." Qi Lan's tone was a little sour.

"I said I went with my friends."

"How dare you go gay with other men." Qi Lan gritted his teeth.

Xie Zhu laughed, and rubbed his shoulder: "Don't be so jealous."

"That person even asked you to wear women's clothes." Qi Lan looked unwilling.

"I wanted to try it myself," Xie Zhu said after a pause, "... At that time, I might have thought that it would be fine if I were a girl, and if I were a girl, I would..."

Xie Zhu didn't continue.

Qi Lan glanced at him and said, "Little Pig, let me declare in advance that I really want to see you in women's clothing, but this definitely doesn't mean to treat you as a girl. It should be said that you are a boy, and wearing women's clothing will make you more attractive." I'm excited-"

Xie Zhu was taken aback by what he said, and when he came back to his senses, he blushed, bent his elbow embarrassingly and poked him, then glanced around, signaling him not to speak such shameful words so loudly.

Qi Lan rubbed her waist, but there was no pain on her face, instead she smiled shamelessly.

He touched Xie Zhu's head, and asked again: "...What happened next?"

"... Then I quarreled with my parents." Xie Zhu leaned on the back of the chair and murmured, "It took quite a while, half a year, and then we made up."

"I don't know if anyone will believe what I said, but I never resented them because of the half-year quarrel." Xie Zhu raised his head and looked at the ceiling of the hospital in a daze, "I can't help it, I like men. It took me a long time to accept it, let alone my parents, so I am very happy that they finally chose to understand me."

"I think I have the best parents in the world. I don't know if I will really fall in love with a man in the future, because I always like you. I can't be with you. I may regret it when I grow old. , but as long as I can live a good life with my parents, I think my life will be complete."

Speaking of this, Xie Zhu was silent for a long time.

Qi Lan didn't disturb him, but just stared at him for a long time.

Until Xie Zhu moved.

He turned around, laughing as sadly as crying: "But life has all kinds of accidents."

"It was a car accident. The driver who caused the accident was neither drunk driving nor taking revenge on the society, but had a heart attack. There was no heart problem detected in the past medical examination, but the accident just happened suddenly."

"For this reason, I can't even resent that person."

"Then..." Xie Zhu fell into a trance again while talking, "then there is no after."

He was silent again for a long time.

"...It's not that I don't have friends. Although because of my sexual orientation and my own personality, I have very few real good friends, but those friends are very good to me. They have told me many times that any difficulties should be with me. They said, but..."

But some places are empty, that is, they are empty forever.

Wu Yang, Wen Liang, Song Sheng, they are all willing to extend their hands to him, but Xie Zhu can rely on them once, twice, three times, but he also asks himself in his heart, can he still rely on them for the rest of his life?

It is true that even if his parents are still alive, he does not mean to rely on the two elders to live.

The sense of dependence he craves cannot be replaced by anything, it is a spiritual dependence that is integrated into the flesh and blood.

No matter how far away he is from home or how late he comes home, there will always be someone waiting for him at home to welcome him.

It's home.

Friends are important, and so are family members.

But his family is gone forever.

When he realized this, when he had to face the empty house every day, Xie Zhu couldn't help but miss his parents day after day. He began to fantasize about death, and also began to fear death, and fell into a very contradictory situation. Also very twisted in the mud.

"...I used to think very spinelessly that instead of living like this, it would be better to be with my parents."

Noticing that Qi Lan's face became ugly and serious, Xie Zhu held his hand, smiled and said, "Don't use this kind of expression, I don't dare to die at all... You know why I dare not have a gastroscopy, Don't dare to take anesthetic?"

Xie Zhu just slowly talked about an incident that happened in elementary school.

"When I was in elementary school, we had a puppy in our school."

"I still remember that one day the puppy was sent to the pet hospital for neutering. It turned out to be such a simple minor operation, and the puppy failed to get off the operating table."

Xie Zhu lowered his eyes and said: "Later, the teachers said that the preoperative examination should have been done, the risk had not been screened out, and the puppy died due to anesthesia."

"It was an accident, and the school teachers had no experience in raising pets before, and it was only later that they realized that the pet hospital was not formal. This kind of small pet hospital must not be compared with our third-level hospitals that treat people, but I always Can't help but think..."

Xie Zhu seemed to be looking at the void: "I was thinking about that puppy, imagining that one day I would lie on the operating table and fall asleep as if I were dead at the moment of anesthesia... If I did not have the operation Taiwan, will it be like this, when no one knows, it will really die?"

"Who will be the first to receive the news? Who will handle the funeral for me? Probably Yangyang and the others, but even so, I feel like I'm bothering them." Xie Zhu thought about this question , even laughed out.

"Xie Zhu." Qi Lan called his name in a low voice.

"Life is so fragile." After a pause, Xie Zhu continued to mutter to himself, "After my parents passed away, I started to suffer from insomnia. I don't know if it's because I have been insomnia for too long, my body can't bear it, and my heart has become bad. .”

"A few times when my heart was beating fast and my body was covered in cold sweat, I felt as if I was about to die. Then I began to wonder, if I really died at home, would I not be released until my body rotted and stinks? Discover……"

"Xie Zhu!" Qi Lan turned his face away.

He seemed to be restraining his emotions, but his black eyes were full of waves.

Xie Zhu looked at him, his Adam's apple rolled, and his voice was dry: "Yangyang asked me if I would be lonely in a life like this, and I denied it."

"—but actually I lied."

Xie Zhu whispered: "Qi Lan, I'm so lonely."

Hearing these words, for an instant, something seemed to collapse completely in Qi Lan's eyes.

"When I quarreled with my parents before, I thought about whether I should try to move out. At that time, I thought it was okay to go out alone. Isn't everyone like this?"

Xie Zhu twitched the corners of his lips: "But now that I think about it, I'm so naive."

"At that time, it was because I knew very well in my heart that there would always be someone waiting for me at home, so I was so naive to think that living alone was no big deal."

"But actually, it's really sad to be alive alone."

Xie Zhu's voice dropped.

"I'm almost dying of grief."

He closed his eyes and lowered his head.

Qi Lan hugged him.

"There will be someone waiting for you at home in the future."

He touched Xie Zhu's head over and over again, and said in a hoarse voice.

"I'll be waiting for you at home."

The author has something to say:

Thank you for your Bawang tickets and nutrient solution!