straight to heaven

I just hit it on the head.

Maybe my expression was too ferocious, and I was taken aback in horror. When everyone was booing and confessing, I dragged me who took a step and turned my head three times to the resident singing stage, and asked me to sing for the romantic scene.

Fortunately, as soon as the accompaniment of "Undercurrent" started, I saw Pei Yanlai from a distance—and then Sun Tingzhou—drinking a full cup of Chunsheng one after another.

I breathed a sigh of relief, the movement was a bit loud, and the microphones were all picked up.

This is the penalty for refusing to order.

Fortunately, the confession part could not go on.

Pei Yanlai raised her neck, her Adam's apple rolled, and her squinted eyes were cast a pool of shadows by eyelashes.The empty cup was casually placed by his side, and he tilted his head slightly. The dim light was not sympathetic, and I couldn't see his face clearly.

But the stimulation given by the alcohol obviously didn't make him happy, his back was still straight, stretched and good-looking.

His languid, careless look was the only one I had ever seen.

I have the joy of surviving the disaster in my heart, and the impulse that has been suppressed for too long is suddenly and without warning trying to break the egg at this moment.

just in case……

In case I fail to pass the exam in the capital and only rely on my mobile phone to contact me, there will be a lot of inconvenience in different places. Isn't it good to confess today?Even if rejected.

What if he accepts me?What if he doesn't say "no" to me?

As soon as the desire started, it spread like a prairie fire, and finally burned into a raging fire.For a while, "the more beautiful things are, the more I can't touch them", I almost blurted out into "I like you, those eyes are beautiful".

Halfway through singing absent-mindedly, she saw Pei Yanlai get up and go out.

Three seconds later... Sun Tingzhou also followed.

My heart felt like it was being squeezed violently, and I felt very tight in my chest.

I thought of the classroom covered by the setting sun at the sports meeting, the confession that hadn’t started in the game just now, and other things, it was a mess, and my mouth could only spit out the lyrics mechanically.

From here on, my memory has become very confused.

I can't remember how I messed up the last sentence, then ran out of the door recklessly, and then how I described it as pacing back dully, being dragged all over the place by the fairly familiar sports committee.I can't even remember exactly when Pei Yanlai sat next to me.

I just remember getting up drunk and saying, I have been dragging you to chat for more than a quarter of an hour, stop talking, stop talking.I numbly nodded and turned to look at Pei Yanlai, who was casually drinking the beer he didn't like.

It was almost ten o'clock in the evening, and the gamers dispersed in twos and threes.

The group secretary is holding two microphones and singing "365 Days of Missing You". The heart-piercing, double-amplified magic sound is even more exaggerated than my mood at the moment.

What interrupted the "tears, always accidentally rolling over the smiling face" was "I'm sorry".

Several students who usually play basketball together gathered around their mobile phones.It seems to be discussing, I heard that the guy in the next class who wanted to be admitted to the police academy cheated three little boys in two days, and was hung up on the confession wall and chased and scolded.

"Damn it. It's true."

"I didn't even realize that these people were gay."

"Still cheating minors, disgusting or not, I want to vomit."

"Death to the pervert is not to be deceived..."

The discussion on the left is clearly audible.

Pei Yanlai let out a gentle humming sound that came to my right ear, and I couldn't figure out what he meant.

Both Pei Yanlai and I were wearing white sneakers, but his pair was as clean as ever, and mine had mud on the soles and wine stains on the upper.

I silently stared at the mildew-like dirt, the dots expanding infinitely in my field of vision.

At this moment, the heterogeneous voice suddenly became harsh and frightening, and I had no choice but to give up thinking.If I could, I thought, I'd rather break my leg doing push-ups just now.

Ignorance is the root of happiness, and I shouldn't be eavesdropping.

The scene I saw when I ran out the door was played back again like a rewind.

The two stood one behind the other at the emergency exit, and Sun Tingzhou grabbed Pei Yanlai's shoulder in preparation for a kiss.

Then there was a "boom".

He couldn't get close, but Pei Yanlai slammed his head against the iron gate, screamed in pain, and then sat on the ground limply.

There was a lot of noise from the exit, and I hid in the corner, only to hear Pei Yanlai's extremely indifferent tone, as if it had nothing to do with me——

……

The voices of cursing and cheating homosexuals still linger in my ears.

It was obvious that the palm of my hand hurt from being pinched, but I heard my own voice relaxed and calm.It's ridiculously normal - it was probably the best acting I've ever done in front of him in my life.

I can't be the second Sun Tingzhou, I can't afford to lose.

"Pei Yan is here."

I turned to look at him.

……

"...Like messing with men?" In the shadow of the iron gate of the emergency exit, Pei Yanlai laughed inexplicably, "I think it's dirty."

……

"Gay." I looked him in the eyes and said, "It's pretty perverted."

He even felt a little smug about being in the right camp for himself.

It's just that the voice fell, but I felt cold.It was as if a thunderbolt struck his head, and his body became cold and he could still feel numb pain.

Pei Yanlai has never looked at me like that.

No, he has used it before, and I should be familiar with it-but that was before I got close to him.But that glance disappeared in a blink of an eye, and there was no trace of it when I looked closely.

I'm tired of thinking that tonight's blowout is overloading my CPU, which is probably a paradox.

It was a very short silence, so short that I had no time to regain my sanity.

Pei Yanlai first looked away, and rubbed the wall of the glass a few times with his bony hand. The amber liquid was still three centimeters high, and there was still unclear white foam on the edge of the top layer.

"probably."

He spoke suddenly, his voice was so low that he was almost lost in the background music.

He was calm and breezy, and smiled at me, unprecedentedly gentle, like the lake surface projected by the first sun, without the slightest haze.

I instinctively wanted to say something, but his phone vibrated, which I assumed was an incoming call alert.

"Clang" sound.

He put down the wine glass, the liquid shook, but could not escape the container.He got up and opened the door to leave, the side of the screen shone on his face, the outline was deep and beautiful.

I froze and waited for him.

But that night when the door of the box opened and closed, he never came back.

I naively thought that when the overly scorching sun appeared from the edge of the sky, everything would be changed this night, life would not change dramatically because of someone's turn around, and I could still follow behind Pei Yanlai, just like nearly a thousand people in the past Day and night are the same.

——Until one afternoon, I forwarded him two puppy videos 10 minutes apart, but the second one received a red exclamation mark.

At that time, I suddenly realized that Sun Tingzhou's repeated harassment might not be useless, and my acting skills were as bad as ever.Probably he made Pei Yanlai understand that it was a mistake to let me approach.

I'm obviously a very sensitive person.I push the envelope, and the smell of pampering takes a step forward.But for Pei Yanlai, for the first time, I wondered whether it was because I liked him too much that I finally became insane and unconscious.

From the beginning to the end, I mistook laziness for ambiguity, mistook going straight for a turn, mistook a yellow light for a green light, took a few steps in my mind, and lost everything.

From that day on, some parts of my body were forcibly removed.

Damn, it hurts.

This is the case every day, day and night.

It took 23 hours and 56 minutes for the sun to rise in the east and set in the west, and my face was pale every second. I recklessly staggered along the earth's orbit, and the chaotic fog made me unable to see the tide and the moon clearly.

For a long time afterwards, I never saw Pei Yanlai again.

How long?

Nine years and 140 seven days.