straight to heaven

"Long time no see, Mr. Lin."

The weather is getting hotter.

The chairs in the coffee shop are made of leather with high backs. When an adult male sits, only half of his hair can be exposed. The space is secretive, but it is too cramped in my eyes.

I was upset, so I took off my suit jacket when I entered the room, and put it on the armrest by the window, "Long time no see."

Zhou Xiaopei smiled softly, put the coffee cup on the porcelain plate, cleared the coffee, and roasted it deeply.Her gestures are elegant, and she hardly makes any extra noise when she pours her glass.

"Didn't expect it to be me, did you? When you walked in the door just now, when you saw me, your eyes were straight." She was afraid that I would misunderstand, so she paused and explained: "Don't get me wrong, I mean Surprised kind of straight."

The air was a little stuffy, so I unbuttoned a button on the collar of my shirt.

She was right, it was a surprise.

There are only two coffees on the table, which is very monotonous.The waiter was ordering at another table behind him, not too far away. I called for someone every few minutes, took the tablet, and added another four-inch three-piece fig lemon cake.

"It's a bit of a surprise, Mr. Lin." Zhou Xiaopei propped his face with one hand with great interest. There may be light makeup on his face, but I can't tell it. 'This is the cake I ordered, remember?"

It's a pity that I am very puzzled: "People in our industry have a good memory."

Zhou Xiaopei, the girl whom Geng had met on a blind date half a year ago, unexpectedly liked me very much.I thought that this matter would be over after Geng kept helping me push the rejection, but I didn't expect that the second time I was forced to go to the appointment, and the person was her again.

I'm a little superstitious about some things.But I'm not stupid enough to think there's such a coincidence.

"Are you investigating me?" I asked, not politely.

She froze for a moment, then quickly recovered, and did not argue: "I'm sorry. You, Mr. Tuo Geng, rejected me, but I am really not reconciled. But don't use such a serious word as investigation, I just asked my family to help a A little busy."

"..."

I am not at all pleased with the attitude of the privileged as they should be.Maybe it was just a small favor in her eyes, it was hard to avoid for my mother and Gao Kai, but it was inevitable for me.

But I also understand that growing up in a different environment makes it difficult to empathize, and it is unnecessary to criticize and vent anger.

When the cake was served, the waiter did not look sideways: "Take it slowly, both of you."

"Thank you."

I pushed the cake in her direction, paused for a moment, and said, "Miss Zhou, I know you are doing financial work. Since everyone attaches great importance to efficiency, I will say something directly."

Zhou Xiaopei inserted a piece of cake with a fork.The whipped cream with figs and lemons is hard, and the cake body is also very solid. Except for the mint leaves, the color is so monotonous that it is almost beige, which looks very cold.

She enjoyed the meal and narrowed her eyes slightly: "I would like to hear more about it."

So I said straight to the point: "We can't, so don't waste each other's time."

After speaking, Zhou Xiaopei blinked and quietly ate a few mouthfuls of cake.That doesn't seem surprising, but it's not entirely indifferent either.

"How do you say this? Did I make you angry when I contacted your father? OK, if you are really disgusted, I can apologize." She gently put down the spoon, hung the broken hair behind her ear, and continued : "But I do have a crush on you, and as far as I know, you don't have a girlfriend. I use this little trick to see you again, and I don't think it's too much."

This often sounds like the beginning of a romantic story, and the logic is impeccable.

But I was noncommittal: "To be honest, before I just walked in, I really never thought that it would be Miss Zhou who asked me to meet today. But no matter who is here today, my answer is the same."

I am paranoid, and I am not willing to turn back when I hit the south wall. I have thrown myself into the abyss where the light cannot enter for many years.I know all this.

Cheap?It's pretty cheap.

But if recklessness should be succumbed to discretion, and emotions should be controlled rationally, then all kinds of lovers who have been handed down in the history of literature will become a couple of complete fools.

Zhou Xiaopei's smile faded visible to the naked eye only at this moment.The dark roast has a high concentration of caffeine, and the sugar and cream balls are sealed and put aside, unopened.She took a sip of clear coffee to relieve her boredom, frowning as if suffering from bitterness.

"May I ask why?" she guessed, "Like you belong to yourself?"

"I don't want to hide it from you." I said honestly, "Yes, I have someone I like."

Zhou Xiaopei frowned slightly: "She was also the reason you rejected me last time?"

"Ah."

"Are you chasing her?"

I hesitated for a moment, but nodded.

"Have you not succeeded so far?" The angle of the question is very tricky.

It hurt my feet a bit, I took a sip of coffee, and replied reluctantly: "...Yes." The law firm is not far away, I subconsciously raised my head, but I couldn't see the floor-to-ceiling windows of Pei Yanlai's office : "But I have no intention of giving up."

Those who play with numbers are keen, and Ms. Zhou is also a genius of logic. She spread her hands, and gently handed out a knife: "Then on the other hand, I like you, I want to chase you, I haven't succeeded and I don't want to give up. My freedom. Future barrister, you didn’t even give yourself the death penalty, so why should you decide whether I should be executed by shooting or euthanized? People can’t have such a double standard.”

Psychologically strong opponent.I don’t eat the hard ones, and I can’t eat the soft ones.So I can only show my cards.

I used a spoon to scoop out the tip of the cake that was close to me, but unexpectedly found that it was salted butter.I didn't put down the spoon until I swallowed the thing completely, looked directly into Zhou Xiaopei's eyes, and told her:

"I am not a judge, and you are not a party. I have no right to pronounce a judgment on you, but I am just stating the facts I have found."

"I like men."

"..."

Zhou Xiaopei's stirring spoon made a crisp sound when it fell into the porcelain cup.

She was surprised, too, and it would be a lie to say she wasn't shocked.

Although compared with the past, the acceptance of homosexuality in the current society has improved, but it must be admitted that we are still a minority.A minority means breaking away from the mainstream. At this noon when "always correct" is the standard, the guillotine will always be swung at the heterogeneous.

I don't know what she thinks or sees, and it doesn't matter, at least to me.

"It's going to rain." I looked out the window again and said casually.

The weather forecast said light rain in the afternoon, but the capital was sunny in the morning.

Until now, the dark clouds quickly gathered together, pressing on the head that was not clear.In the past, I would occasionally dig into a dead end, thinking about whether there are Homo sapiens who have never been exposed to rain in their lives. I even asked Pei Yanlai this question, and his answer was yes, such as babies who died in the middle of giving birth.

I refuted him, saying that the amniotic fluid is the rain of the mother.He pushed away my approaching face with one hand, telling me to stop using abstract thinking to sophistry.

Everyone has to get wet.

In the rain, the well-painted mask will be blurred, and the negative emotions are easy to overwhelm. It blocks social interaction, so people are left alone, and then they can see themselves clearly.

After a brief shock, Zhou Xiaopei became very calm.

After a long silence, she followed my line of sight and looked out the window. The air was so humid that she said, "Yes, but I didn't bring an umbrella."

I looked at her and said, "I have two in my office, very close to each other, I'll get them."

Zhou Xiaopei smiled and nodded, I could see that she was sending a signal of kindness to me: "It's better to obey than to be respectful, then thank you."

The slightly tense atmosphere from the beginning of the meeting dissipated at this moment.

After two months of pressure, I have no ability to be a saint, and I have no reason to force others to be saints: "I have no position to ask you to keep it a secret from my mother. It depends on what you want."

"Don't worry, I won't talk too much." Zhou Xiaopei was stunned for a moment: "I don't intend to affect your family relationship. It's better for you to come out in person for things like coming out of the closet."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for your honesty, I don't want to be a wife. I gave up on you, but..." No one moved the cake, and Zhou Xiaopei seemed to be interested in other things again, with sly eyes: "What kind of fairy is it? Is it impossible to make an eight-point man like you obsessed with it?"

"Eighth male?" I don't understand.

She explained: "In the past, women were liked to score points on social networks, one point, two points, eighty-nine points, but now men are also scored. This is called anti-gaze."

I nodded: "Oh. If ten points are used, then he will be one hundred points."

If Pei Yanlai can love me, he will become positive and infinite.

The way Zhou Xiaopei looked at me suddenly became very subtle: "You...I didn't expect you to be so in love with brains, you obviously look like a scumbag."

Scumbag?I laughed dryly: "I'm sorry, but I'm better at hanging from a tree."

Zhou Xiaopei said that sweets affect my body, and it is shameful to waste food. Except for the piece she touched, two-thirds of the cake ended up in my stomach.

The cow chews the peony, which is very greasy.

Almost the moment we got up, it suddenly started raining outside.The rain is not fast, but it is thin and dense. It is rare to see such continuous rainy weather in the north, and it is easy to catch a cold if you get wet.

Using my suit as a poncho, I rushed back to the law firm and gave her an umbrella.She took it and said goodbye with a smile, but we all know that we can't be friends, and the next time we meet is far away.So I waved my hand and said nothing.

The coffee shop provides staple food. I remembered that Pei Yanlai hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so I went back and bought black pepper beef panini wrapped in kraft paper and a hot medium glass of flat white.

After paying the bill, I pushed open the door with a brown paper bag and coffee, but an unexpected visitor appeared behind me.

The blind dog went from back to front, and rushed straight into my right shoulder.

If it weren't for my good physical fitness and a stable foot, I would probably fall to the ground if I staggered.The ground is muddy, and it is expected to be very embarrassing.

"... Lawyer He."

What is thinking.

I called him because I was looking for something.

Looking at the direction, he was going back to Dingrun to work overtime.But with a briefcase and coffee in his hand, he walked hurriedly without even opening an umbrella, and he didn't look back at me. He didn't know whether he was really deaf or pretended to be deaf.

He Weisi's figure gradually faded away, and he met Pei Yanlai again at the gate of the law firm, before turning around and disappearing from sight.While cursing bad luck, I held up my umbrella and ran across the road.

A "beep" was Pei Yanlai's notification sound for the car lock.

I ran to the car, and Pei Yanlai just opened the door and got in.The car window was half opened, revealing Pei Yanlai's extremely unkind eyes at the moment.

"Pei Lu." I didn't know what happened, or someone offended him. After deliberating for a second, I still handed out coffee and panini: "You didn't eat lunch, this..."

"Shh-"

The car window was closed, and only my face was reflected on the privacy glass, with my mouth half-opened, and the words were stuck in half.

The Lexus engine hummed and started suddenly unexpectedly.There was a puddle of wet muddy water at my feet, which surged up with the high-speed rotation of the wheels, splashing my trouser legs.

The car drifted away.

I froze in place with a delicate posture, and it took me a long time to complete my words through gritting my teeth.

"...If you don't eat, I will."