She made herself visible only to me

On the way back to the classroom, Su Nian didn't say a word.

Zhou Mo tentatively wanted to hold Su Nian's hand, but after seeing her face, he decided not to take the risk.

"Niannian... look how beautiful the peonies are blooming on this campus..."

Zhou Mo began to carefully find a topic.

Su Nian: "..."

"Nian Nian... are you still angry?"

Su Nian: "..."

"Nian Nian, talk to me..."

Su Nian: "..."

Seeing that Su Nian remained silent, Zhou Mo suddenly stopped, pulled her around, and said seriously, "Do you still think I was wrong about that incident just now?"

Su Nian lowered her head and was silent for a while, then continued: "In your heart, what you think is right, why bother to ask me?"

It wasn't until today that Su Nian realized that Zhou Mo was so paranoid that he couldn't be cured.

"I just don't think others are qualified to say you..." Zhou Mo's eyelashes drooped slowly.

"But, do you know what other people will think of me when you did that just now?" Su Nian rubbed Chutu's temple with the tip of her right finger, "Besides, what she said is right...it's true that I am not worthy you……"

After Zhou Mo heard this, his voice suddenly became a little hoarse: "You also... think so...?"

Su Nian's emotions seemed to explode in an instant, and she burst out sentence by sentence: "Yes! I, Su Nian, drink, smoke, fight and do everything, and my grades are also unsightly."

"But what about you, Zhou Mo is a well-known university bully in the whole school. Not only is he good-looking, his family is rich, and his IQ is even comparable to that of Einstein..."

"So... I... How can I be worthy of you?"

"You...why don't you understand?" Zhou Mo seemed not to have heard what Su Nian said just now, "If it wasn't for you, I'm afraid I wouldn't be here anymore..."

Su Nian shook her head, and said in a deep voice, "Even if it wasn't you...if it was someone else, I would still do that...this is true for anyone."

"But... Nian Nian, you have to admit that you are really nice to me..."

"I treat others the same way..." Su Nian paused, then continued: "If you like me because I treat you well, there is really no need... because I will think that your feelings for me now are Out of gratitude..."

"I know you're not very smart, you're stupid, but I love you. I know you smoke and drink, you're nonsense, but I love you. I know you're an ordinary girl who can't be more ordinary, but I love you you."

As soon as the words fell, Su Nian coldly interrupted Zhou Mo: "But, I don't love you."

Zhou Mo's liking made Su Nian feel depressed and embarrassed, and even gave her an invisible pressure.

After finishing speaking, Su Nian turned around and ran to the dormitory. Zhou Mo wanted to chase after him, but he didn't have any strength under his feet.

"I don't love you." These words pierced Zhou Mo's heart like a sharp dagger, making her breathless.

On the way back to the dormitory, Su Nian inexplicably became irritable again, and cursed several times, "Fuck!"

"Su Nian, what's wrong with you?"

The roommate saw Su Nian crawling onto his bed with a gloomy expression, without saying a word.

When the bell rang for class in the afternoon, Su Nian walked to the classroom with heavy steps. On the way, she kept thinking about how to face Zhou Mo.

Obviously the original relationship was so good, but now it has become like this.

It was exhausting.

However, when Su Nian entered the classroom, she realized that Zhou Mo was not in her seat.

Every time it appeared inexplicably, every time it disappeared inexplicably.

Su Nian was lying on the table, twirling the pen holder in her hand distractedly, looked up at the blackboard, and found that it was another boring math class, so she simply grabbed a magazine from the drawer to read.

The math teacher was happily talking about the topic on the podium, and the other students under the podium were attentively listening to the class. Only Su Nian was wandering in his own world.

For some reason, in this class, Su Nian always felt a deep sense of loneliness. It was not only the anguish caused by not being able to understand the class, but also a feeling of loss from the bottom of her heart.

This has nothing to do with Zhou Mo.

That was the barrier between herself and the class environment.

Everyone around is racing against time to study hard, and she is the only one who idles around all day long.

Su Nian suddenly felt that he was so unknown in this class, no one cared about him, like an ant trying to survive.

Looking at the math problems in the exercise book that she would never be able to solve, Su Nian suddenly thought of Zhou Mo.

Su Nian knew that Zhou Mo didn't just like mathematics, but loved it, and even had a supreme obsession.

Many times, when Su Nian saw Zhou Mo doing math problems, his eyes flickered with the last trace of nostalgia for this world.

And that's what mathematics brought her, a sense of accomplishment.

Su Nian was thinking, when will she have the kind of happy moments that she can enjoy in the field she loves?

People live in this world, always have something to look forward to, something to love.

But, what is she passionate about?

She doesn't know yet.

The long math class came to an end in Su Nian's daze.

After class, a few studious students gathered around the math teacher to answer questions, and the class was quiet.

This is the key class.

Even after class, no one went out to play, and everyone wanted to save time and do more questions.

It is exactly like this that every time Su Nian basks in the sun in the corridor, he is always full of guilt.

Many times when teachers from other classes passed by in the corridor, they would look at Su Nian with contempt and shake their heads, as if to say that they should take advantage of the break time to make up lessons even though their grades are poor.

However, Su Nian still felt that the atmosphere in the class was too oppressive, so she got up and went outside to change her mood.

When the math teacher passed the corridor, he seemed to think of something, and glanced at the last row from the back door of the classroom.

He didn't see Zhou Mo, so he turned to Su Nian who was doing nothing in the corridor and asked, "Su Nian, where are you at the same table?"

Su Nian was lying on the table in the corridor at the moment, staring at the noisy crowd downstairs in a daze, when she heard the math teacher asking her, she shook her head: "I don't know."

"Then when she comes back, remember to tell her that the National Mathematics League has started to sign up, and let her get ready." After the math teacher finished speaking, she had already walked away with her textbooks.

Only then did Su Nian realize it, hesitated for a while, and quietly sneaked into the women's bathroom to send a message to Zhou Mo.

"The math teacher asked you to sign up for the National Math League."

After sending the message, Su Nian put the phone back into his pants pocket and went back to the classroom.

All afternoon, Su Nian didn't dare to turn on her phone to see if Zhou Mo had messaged her back.

In fact, she didn't know what she was afraid of.

When school was over, Chen Yuan didn't ask Su Nian to go to the playground because of something at home, so she packed her schoolbag and went for a run on the playground by herself.

After hanging her schoolbag on the basketball hoop, Su Nian tied her coat around her waist and started to warm up.

After running ten laps, Su Nian lay down tiredly on the green field in the middle of the playground.

The night is dark and the stars are dim.

Su Nian suddenly wanted to smoke a cigarette at this time, but the schoolbag was on the shelf of the basketball court, she didn't want to get it, so she had to endure it.

At this time, a gentle voice sounded beside her ear: "Xiao Nian, you still like to lie down on the playground and watch the stars after running every day after school as before."

Su Nian turned her head and saw Qin Li's familiar face.

"You... why are you here?"

Su Nian hadn't seen Qin Li for a long time, since the last time he had a quick look at the school gate, he had only seen him on the honor roll of the second grade at the school.

"Come and run."

Qin Li is tall, about 1.8 meters tall, wearing a pair of golden glasses, and he speaks very softly and politely.

He twisted off the bottle cap of the mineral water thoughtfully before handing it to Su Nian, and said in a gentle voice, "You... how are you recently?"

Su Nian sat up slowly, hesitated for a while, but took the water handed by Qin Li: "As usual... how about you?"

Qin Li kept a shallow smile, looked at Su Nian, and didn't answer.

Su Nian took a sip and said, "I think your grades are pretty stable, and you've always been No.1 on the honor roll of the sophomore year..."

Qin Li sighed, and suddenly said: "Xiao Nian, are you still blaming me?"

When Su Nian heard this, the water in her mouth suddenly choked into her throat. After coughing a few times, she said slowly: "At that time, your mother was worried that the relationship between us would affect your grades. Now it seems that, She was right..."

After finishing speaking, Su Nian continued: "After we broke up, your grades have indeed improved a lot..."

It turned out that Qin Li's grades in the second grade of high school basically hovered around the tenth place, and then gradually stabilized on the throne of the first place.

"Xiao Nian, I...can I ask you a question?" Qin Li hesitated.

"Tell me." Although Su Nian broke up with Qin Li, she still thinks Qin Li is a good ex-boyfriend.

"Is there... is there still... a possibility between us?"

Qin Li was Su Nian who met at Nanchuan Bookstore.

One day at noon, Qin Li was picking books at Nanchuan Bookstore. He liked history very much, so he planned to buy a set of Mingyue's "Things of the Ming Dynasty" and read it.

I searched around the bookstore but couldn't find it, so I ran to ask the bookstore owner.

As a result, the bookstore owner said that the set of books was out of stock and not available for the time being.

The conversation between the two was overheard by Su Nian who was buying a magazine. She smiled and said to Qin Li, "I have that set of books. If you want to read it, I can lend it to you."

In that way, the two became good friends.

It was also from then on that Su Nian knew that Qin Li was a sophomore in high school, majored in liberal arts, and had excellent grades, and was able to rank among the top ten in the whole grade.

Of course, Qin Li also knew that Su Nian was a freshman in high school and studied science in the key class, but his grades were always at the bottom.

However, the two couldn't bear the same interest, and gradually developed into lovers.

Although Su Nian's grades were not good, Qin Li never minded.

However, the head teacher reported their relationship to Qin Li's parents in the end.

The head teacher told Qin Li's mother that he had the ability to be the first in the school, but he just didn't have the heart.

And the reason why he didn't have that kind of heart, both parents and parents thought it was the influence of puppy love.

Qin Li's mother attaches great importance to Qin Li's grades. She wants her son to get No.1 in the whole school and be admitted to Tsinghua University and Peking University.

So, after learning about the relationship between the two, she angrily scolded Qin Li, and went to Su Nian to warn her not to delay Qin Li's academic performance.

Also because of this incident, Gao Li had a prejudice against Su Nian, and once thought that she was simply not worthy of studying in the key class.

In this way, the relationship between the two was killed by the parents and teachers in the autumn of the first year of high school.

Qin Li is a very obedient person, in order to prevent his mother from looking for Su Nian again, he had no choice but to break up.

On the day they broke up, Su Nian only asked one question: "Is it because of my poor grades?"

Qin Li was stunned for a long time, unable to say a word, of course he didn't care, but his parents did.

He has to fulfill the expectations of his parents.

So after breaking up with Su Nian, he studied hard to achieve his current grades.

After more than half a year, Qin Li thought that he would slowly let go of his liking for Su Nian, but he found that he still couldn't forget it.

He can't forget the smile on her face when he saw her for the first time, he can't forget that she likes to comb two ponytails, and he can't forget the little poems she wrote for himself.

Today, in the cafeteria, when he saw Su Nian eating with a handsome boy, the feeling that had been suppressed for a long time burst out from the depths of his heart.

He knew that she liked to go for a run on the playground after school, and lie on the playground and watch the stars after the run.

In the past, she liked to rush into his arms after running, and then happily drank the water he bought.

Today, after school, he came to the playground, and he was waiting for Su Nian.

It's just that he doesn't know if she still has him in her heart now.

If Su Nian heard this sentence before, she would definitely jump and say, "Okay, okay."

However, now, she has become very confused, she doesn't know what is the real feeling.

Zhou Mo keeps saying that she loves herself, but what is love?

In the past, Qin Li also said that he loves himself very much, but in the end because of a little pressure from his parents, they ended everything, so what is love?

She really doesn't understand.

"Qin Li, you... still like me?"

Su Nian didn't answer directly, she just wanted to know the reason.

"En." Qin Li nodded heavily, and continued: "Xiao Nian, I...I can't forget you."

Su Nian drank the last bit of water in the bottle and said, "Is there anything I can't forget?"

"I was originally a very ordinary person. As you can see, my grades are still very poor. I'm not stupid..."

Qin Li didn't care about these things, he suddenly said: "Xiao Nian...do you have someone else you like?"

The scene of Zhou Mo feeding Su Nian milk tea kept appearing in his mind.

There was a chill in the night wind, Su Nian got up, looked into Qin Li's eyes, and said two words: "No."

"Then...then you still like me..."

Qin Li believes that Su Nian must still like him, after all, she used to like him so much.

Because the first grade ended early, Su Nian would run from the first grade teaching building to the second grade teaching building to wait for Qin Li after school.

Every night, they would hold hands and walk on the playground. Taking advantage of the dim light, she would jump up like a bird and secretly peck her face, and then run away happily.

They will also exchange the books they have read with each other, and there are some cards inside, with love words that others cannot understand.

Therefore, Qin Li firmly believed that Su Nian must be unforgettable to him.

However, Su Nian said lightly: "I'm sorry..."

After finishing speaking, Su Nian turned to leave, but Qin Li held her arm: "The boy who ate with you in the cafeteria at noon... I saw it, is it him?"

With the courage not knowing where it came from, Su Nian broke free from Qin Li's shackles, leaving behind a sentence: "I don't like anyone."

Taking off the schoolbag from the basketball hoop, Su Nian took out the phone in the interlayer, opened WeChat, and saw a message.

"I've already arrived in Shanghai."

This message was sent out one minute after Su Nian sent the message.

It seems that Zhou Mo had already gone to Shanghai to participate in the National Mathematical League at that time, but she didn't need to remind her at all.

Staring blankly at the blank dialog box for a while, Su Nian couldn't say a word, so he simply turned off his phone and headed to the parking area with his schoolbag on his back.

As soon as she arrived at the parking area, she saw from a distance that the basket in front of her little eDonkey was filled with candied haws wrapped in transparent paper.

Fuck!

It's fucking poisonous!

The author has something to say:

The passage of Momo’s confession was rewritten from Mr. Maugham’s "The Veil", the original text is as follows: I know you are stupid, frivolous, and empty-headed, but I love you.I know your intentions, your ideals, you are snobbish and vulgar, but I love you.I know you're a second-rate guy, but I love you.

In fact, I personally think that there may be no reason for one person to like another person. Nian Nian is really too inferior. . .

Some readers think that I have written too much about Momo’s family’s wealth, which feels naive. In fact, I wrote this to pave the way for the humble family background in the face of this relationship.

Of course, this is the first time I write an article, I really have a lot of things that I can't grasp well, so you guys feel free to blow me up in the comment area! !Weibo is also available! ! !I will accept it seriously!